Emergency Situations

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Take more of the drug.

You somehow survive the punishment, and are now maimed (and high) in the middle of a torture chamber. Everyone in there wants to kill you. What do you do?
 
Make something happen.

Twenty megatons of TNT are below you and are going to go off in 10 seconds. There is no way to stop it. There is no way to teleport to safety.
 
Use your newfound Canadian powers to telport to safety.

You land on an armed nuclear device. The radiation deprives you of teleportation.
 
RUN FOR THE BORDER FOR NO REAL GOOD REASON!

You are choas (Yes, the Smogon user. Derp.). You wake up the next morning after a huge night at the bar. You relise you've shaved off your signature beard, and the Smogon Beard-Off is that day. To prevent cheating, the participents are to show off their "entry" via a public video chat. You have no access to a wig whatso-ever, that including wig shops (their are none for 1000 miles). The video chat is on in 2 hours. What do you do?
 
Your five-year-old sister walks in on you masturbating.

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Did she?


You are an entertainer at one of Roller Coaster Tycoon's scenic theme parks, and suddenly an invisible force picks you up and drops you in the lake. You cannot swim.
 
*high voice* "YOU DID NOT KILL ME, I CRAWLED TO SAFETY! BUT YOU DID LEAVE ME BADLY DISFIGURED!" laughed the boy.

You are in "a forum" and you don't know what "the game" is.
 
Play a Different game.
You are dead, and cannot do anything.
I cannot do anything, but advanced medicine can.

You find out you've been in a chemically induced coma for 79 years, all your close family and friends are dead, and the technology hasn't really advanced much. Pokemon is in its 165th generation. There are 27450 Pokemon. Smogon can no longer hold up the competitiveness with such large number. People just play like old school newbies. Also, cookie is still alive, and the only member still on Smogon on a forum (at that time it's called Super Forums (competitive play is dead, so you might as well sit and relax in this forum)). What now?
 
You get to work studying the new 26,801 pokemon along with 20,938 new moves, 13,410 new abilities, 15,664 new hold items, new mechanics and strategies.

You die of boredom.
 
You realize it's only a metaphor and you're not really dead.

You're tiered of being "dead" so many times, you decide to live your life, but you don't know how with all your friends/family dead, and your favorite competitive game got uncompetitive.
 
You realize it's only a metaphor and you're not really dead.

You're tiered of being "dead" so many times, you decide to live your life, but you don't know how with all your friends/family dead, and your favorite competitive game got uncompetitive.
GET A JORB, HOMESTER!

The only jobs available are "cashier at Taco Bell" and "prostitute".
 
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