The Murasaki-Fiore Edition (carbon date: 5,000y)
Book of Distortion (modern translation)
Generations flew by, beyond the lifetime of any pokemon. For the lord Arceus, it was a blink of an eye. So it was a long time coming when the earth, the seas, and the sky were shaken to their core by one they had trusted most deeply.
One day, the specter Darkrai approached his mentor Giratina, and asked,”My lord, why must we obey our lord Arceus? He has not acted in years; his body is weary and his mind is feeble and slow. We could take our rightful place as leaders of this world, and of the dead.”
“Darkrai, you have served me faithfully for many years, but I have served our lord Arceus since the beginning. When you have watched over the dead as long as I have...you will have no desire to create any more.”
“We have the resources. We have your powers, my powers, and an army of the dead at our backs.”
“My student, this manner of yours is distasteful. It discredits your great character. I ask that you abandon this idea of yours. It serves no one.”
“As you wish, my lord.” Darkrai left his master, but returned when his strength was greatest, on the night of the new moon. He cast his mentor into a deep sleep, and called forth floods of the dead to join him. Some refused to join-they called those who served him nightmares.
The other laws quickly learned of Giratina’s fall. But Dialga had little enough time to prepare before he was set upon at his tower by Darkrai. He was quickly overwhelmed and brought before Darkrai, who turned him into a nightmare, a twisted servant of Darkrai’s will. His servant, Celebi, fled into the Tunnel of Time, pursued by Darkrai.
Palkia had his own chance to stop Darkrai’s rampage. He bent space into a great knot, slowing Darkrai’s travel and allowing him to reach and awake Giratina.
Darkrai’s undead servants slowly vanished from his control, but enough remained to follow Celebi everywhere she ran through space and time. With Dialga under Darkrai’s thrall, they could easily keep up as Celebi desperately jumped through time.
Finally, Celebi returned to the Tunnel of Time. She traveled back to the time she started in to find Palkia, along with an army of Shaymin. They barely had time to shelter her before the first of Darkrai’s soldiers emerged from the tunnel.
A bloody battle was fought there, at the entrance of the tunnel. Both sides inflicted horrendous injuries upon the other, and most of the Shaymin were killed in the battle. The last of Darkrai’s forces forced the Shaymin away from the defense of the door; they fled to their mountain home, bringing Celebi with them.
The laws had played their last card, and it was found to be wanting.
Hoenn Route 119
June 21st, 235 CRE
3:58 PM
“May, thanks for picking up. I really need your help.”
“Is this some kind of joke?”
I sighed. “May, I wouldn’t prank call you. You know that.”
“Actually, I don’t know that. But what do you want?”
“Look, I don’t have much time. Me and a friend were checking out Route 119, and then we got jumped by some Magma guys. They’ve got us surrounded, they’re all armed, and there’s no way we’re getting out of here unless someone picks us up. That’s why we need you.”
“Are you retarded? I don’t have a car!”
“Talk to your dad, then. Just tell him I found some new pokemon species that I wanted to show him, but I can’t come to him.”
“No, Skarm.” I held in a gasp. “You should have known not to mess with them. If I come, we’ll all end up dead. I won’t put my father at risk so you can escape certain death for the umpteenth time.” Through the receiver, I heard Professor Birch asking May who she was talking with, seemingly from a distance.
“May, please. MAY!” The phone beeped rapidly. “She hung up. We’re on our own.”
“What are we going to do?”
“It depends. Would you rather go down fighting, or just kiss each other until they blow our heads off?”
“If it were up to me,” Winona said, pulling herself up with a tree branch,”I’d prefer to live.”
“Where are you going to go? We’re surrounded. Our best chance is to pretend to surrender and then jump them like it’s a movie scene.”
“Or, we could go through the hole left by those goons Altaria lit on fire.
“But that’s....that’s back where we started. We’ll never make it.”
“We’ll have to. Come on Skarm, I’m the one with the bad leg here, why am I leading the way?” I threw Winona’s arm over my shoulder again. “Altaria, lead the way. Tell us if we’re going to run into someone.”
Around a half hour later, we returned uneventfully to where we started. The stolen radio buzzed. “Reshiram to Charlie squad. Have you found anyone?”
“Sir, we’ve reached the location of Echo Squad. 5 friendly KIAs, no sign of the targets.”
“Are there any new tracks?”
“Negative, no new tracks.”
“They must have backtracked. All squads, converge on the river. Double time!”
“Well, that’s not good.” Winona lobbed the radio into the river. “Altaria, fly home. If we survive, I’ll meet you there eventually. If not...” Winona leaned in and whispered in Altaria’s ear. “Now go. Thank you.” Altaria’s wings beat, and it vanished into the clouds. “Skarm, come with me, we’re going in the river.”
“ARE YOU CRAZY? We won’t survive the waterfall, ASSUMING we make it that far!”
“If there was another way out, I’d take it. This is our only chance. You can stay here and try your luck with Magma if you want. Or you can hit the river.” Winona hobbled down the beach and threw herself over the river’s overflowing banks into the water.
“What a fucking idiot.” I followed, reluctantly. The rapids sucked me away as soon as I splashed in. It was a battle to keep my head above water. Every now and then, I would bounce off a rock jutting out of the whitewater.
Gonna have pretty big bruises in the morning. If there is a morning.
I steered my way around the pillar of a bridge, only to be pulled back by the arm. I grabbed on to the pillar next to Winona.
“Glad you got with the program. Waterfall was another hundred meters downstream.”
“You knew this was here.” She shrugged her shoulders, a classic nondenial denial.
“Climb up to the road. We’ll hitch a ride.” I grabbed the pavement and hauled myself up, soaking wet. Then I helped her over the edge, and we sat down on the edge of the bridge.
“Another rabbit out of the hat?”
“Hey, we’re still here, Winona. I won’t start celebrating until I’m sitting in a Pokemon Center with a Mountain Dew in my hand.”
“You still drink that crap? Knew I shouldn’t have left you back when the Splitting ended.”
“Hey, it’s better then that Feather Tea you drink!”
“Think you got it mixed up. At least Feather Tea doesn’t have enough caffeine to make a Spoink’s heart beat of its own accord.”
“Winona....”
“I’m sorry, Skarm. I know you miss her.”
“It’s...it’s alright.”
We sat in silence for a few minutes, feeling the rain on our shoulders and watching the rapids churn.
“Winona, listen, do you hear that?”
“It’s a car.” We both sat up and turned our heads in the direction. “It’s a car!” We climbed off the bridge. I took the weight off Winona’s bad leg as a pair of headlights drove up to us and pulled to a stop. The passenger door opened, and a silouette stepped out.
“Skarm, is that you?”
“May! You came.”
“If you don’t get in the car, I might change my mind. Who’s that girl you’re with?”
“I’m Winona, Fortree’s gym leader. We were checking out reports of Team Magma activity in the area, but the shit kinda hit the fan.” I helped her hobble over and climb into the backseat of the Jeep. May hopped into the front, and we sped off down the road.
“Skarm, I knew I’d see you again, but I didn’t expect it to be like this.”
“Hey, I don’t always get to choose the stuff I get mixed up in.” I said indignantly.
“Skarm, you DID choose this one!” May yelled back. “Sure, back in Slateport-yeah, I heard about that-you were just trying to keep up with your girlfriend, or whoever she is. At Mount Chimney, nobody else would have made it in time. But this time, you just ran straight in, assuming everything would turn out fine, and look what happened! You guys get shot up, and we have to drive up here in the middle of a fucking typhoon and bail you out!” May unbuckled her seatbelt, spun around in her seat, and leaned towards me. “Well, I’m telling you right now-stick to the gyms from now on. This isn’t one of your videogames-there are no 1ups in real life. And you owe us one, so tell us where we’re going and then shut the hell up.”
“May, I....I didn’t think it would get this serious.”
“You never think. Where the hell are we going?”
“Actually, I don’t know...Winona, any ideas?”
“Can you get on the highway? There’s a place in Fortree we can go.”
“Alright.” Birch spun the wheel, but it was too late-the Jeep skidded past the onramp and spun around on the pavement. “Dammit!” The car screeched to a halt, and a Magma soldier stepped out of the woods.
“Fuck! GO!” I screamed, but it was too late. We screeched off into the distance, but not before the Magma grunt pulled out his walkie talkie and started speaking into it. “We have to get on the highway and get out of here, he made us!”
“Alright, alright!” We spun out again as Birch did another U-turn and pulled onto the expressway. “So, what’s the actual address? I can put it into the GPS thingy May bought me.”
“There are no cars allowed inside the Fortree city limits. We’ll just park in one of the lots on the edge of town and go to the gym.”
“Why are we going to the Gym?” May demanded. “That’s the most public location in town! It’ll be the first place Magma searches!”
“The Gym is closed during heavy storms like this. Only person there today is my secretary, Skyla. She can help us.”
Weather Institute
Maxwell Terra-alias Reshiram
The radio buzzed, and Maxie spun around in the swivel chair he sat in. “All troops, be advised-A Gamma squad member has spotted the loose ends. They are with two others in a vehicle, license plate reads “spring”, moving northbound on Highway 33. All troops converge?”
Maxie’s lieutenant, Tabitha, reached for his radio. “Confirm, all troops mount up and pursue.”
“Negative.” Maxie said into his own radio. Tabitha jumped.
“Sir, they’re going to escape.”
“The worst thing we could do now is start a car chase. As soon as an innocent civilian gets hurt, the police will have to ignore our bribes and join in. That’s the last thing we want.” Maxie turned his radio on. “Get me my helicopter, on the roof of OPHQ, ASAP. I’ll handle this personally. All other troops mount up and return to Lily Base.” He stood and headed for the door.
“What are you doing?”
“Just come with me. This might work if you don’t blow it.”
Birch’s Jeep
Skarm
“Wait a second-THE Skyla?”
“The one who used to be a gym leader in Unova? Yeah, she’s there-family friend. Since I’m only seventeen, child labor laws prevent me from having more then 4 hours of scheduled battles a day. So Skyla manages my schedule, watches film, and creates a list of the trainers that are most likely to be able to defeat me. Then, when challangers register online, stronger trainers get priority over weaker trainers.” Winona winced as we went over a bump, jarring her leg. “She’s also supposed to handle PR stuff if I’m too busy, so she has a list of doctors, lawyers, and the like who she can trust to keep quiet if I get in trouble.”
“Doesn’t the League remove leaders who are suspected of criminal activity?” May asked.
Winona laughed, but her face was turning more ashen by the minute. “How many times did the Kanto Government have a case against Giovanni back when he was leader in Viridian, only to have their witnesses disappear or refuse to testify? He still stayed leader for 20 plus years before he went into politics and got elected president.”
I heard helicopter rotors approaching. “Okay, the Gym it is. What exit is it?”
“We want Exit 23. Downtown Fortree. That exit goes through a tunnel to this underground parking structure near City Hall, and the gym’s only two blocks from there.” I heard a helicopter approaching behind us.
“This is the Grande Isles Park Rangers! License number Spring, pull over immediately!” The voice came from a bullhorn.
“Finally! Someone official showed up!” Birch said. He began to change lanes to the right to pull over.
“Wait a second...” Winona said. “Skarm...who did you try calling?”
“Just May...”
“You made two calls. Which one was the one before May?”
“Pull over now!” A spotlight began to shine through the sunroof.
“It was the Fire Department. They said they couldn’t deploy any trucks during a storm like this.”
“You called the FIRE DEPARTMENT too? What did you do before you called me?”
“Doesn’t matter right now, I’ll fill you in later. Professor, DON’T PULL OVER! They’re not really the Park Service!”
“I just can’t catch a break today...” Birch swerved off the shoulder back into the right lane and slammed the gas. The helicopter dropped its false pretenses; a pair of laser dots started dancing on the side of the car.
“Go faster! We HAVE to lose that helicopter!”
“Come on, Professor, you can do it. 5 miles until the turn off.” I heard the whine of a barrel spinning up. “They’re gonna start shooting.”
“Okay, guess you’ve figured us out. There’s no cover on this highway, nowhere to hide. If you pull over now and give us the two in your backseat, we’ll let you go. This is your final warning.”
“Don’t listen to them. They’ll kill you anyways. Our only hope is to make it to the tunnel.”
“Dad, pull over! Give them what they want.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Skarm, you’re out of extra lives. You’ve BEEN out. Eventually...eventually the game has to end.”
“You’re right.” I said. Then I had an idea. I saw a semi pulling two long trailers. “Just not right now.” I leaned into the front seat and swung the wheel hard to the left. We swerved onto the other side of the semi just as the helicopter opened fire.
“Gun it! NOW!” Bullets shredded the truck on our right, and the helicopter started swinging to the left to get a clear shot. We flew out in front of the truck and swerved back into the right lane.
“Oh, thank Arceus, there’s a curve.” The curve prevented the helicopter from getting a clear shot, and by the time the helicopter made the turn, it stopped firing. “They stopped shooting? Why did they stop shooting?” A man leaned out of the side of the copter and gestured towards us. Then a pair of smoke trails spiraled from the belly of the helicopter.
“Oh, SHIT! They’re shooting missles! HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET MISSILES?”
“Well, we’re fucked.” May said.
“Professor, just drive! I have an idea.” Winona pulled out a whistle that she’d been carrying around her neck. She leaned out of the window, took a deep breath, and blew as hard as she could into it.
Nothing happened.
“Well, that’s just perfect. Just. Fucking. Perfect. I knew this was a shitty idea.” May put her face in her hands.
“Will you stop being such a little bitch and give it a second?” Winona snapped.
“ME? You’re funny. Guess getting shot didn’t stop you from being all “a-hunting Magma we will go!”
“You’re just jealous. You always wanted Skarm for yourself.”
“REALLY, guys? We’re getting SMART BOMBS shot at us and you two are fighting over ME?”
“Wow I thought since you were a gym leader you’d have a little bit of maturity. I’m almost glad we’re all going to get killed now. Don’t let her play you, Skarm-she could have any guy she wanted. If there was another trainer her age that was your skill level, she’d dump you in an instant!”
“Kyuuuuuuuuuuu!” An avian figure plunged out of the sky, breathing a stream of fire at the missles. The explosions revealed the bird’s sky-blue skin and white wings. Winona pulled a pokeball from her belt, and released the pokemon within. A Skarmory flew out of the broken sunroof and dove straight into the cockpit of the helicopter. The body of the pilot fell to the ground, and the copter began spinning out of control.
“See! It worked! Altaria came. Now can you shut the FUCK UP and let me bleed out in peace?” Altaria landed on the roof of the Jeep, but Skarmory was nowhere to be found. Just before the helicopter struck the ground and exploded in a mighty fireball, a figure flew from the helicopter and alighted next to Altaria. It was Skarmory.
“You guys are the best. I’ll give you both a hug when we’re not going at a hundred kilometers an hour, okay? Meet me at the gym.” The birds flew off. “Anything to say, June? Or was it July? I can’t remember all these months.”
Before May could snap back at her, I intervened. “That was pretty awesome. How much time did you spend practicing that?”
“Oh, I made it up on the spot. The exit’s right here, make the turn!” Birch hit the onramp and we turned into a tunnel lit on the sides by orange lights.
I sighed. “We made it.”
“This is one hell of a vacation.” Birch quipped. We double parked in the first spot we could find in the garage, and I picked Winona up onto my shoulder once more.
“Who are you?” I heard from behind me. I turned around and saw a red haired woman with her car door open. “Oh my god, Winona! Are you alright? What happened? You need to see a doctor...”
“Actually, Skyla...that’s why we came here. Looks like we almost missed you.”
Skyla came over to me and took Winona. “I’ll take her to my house. You guys just hole up in the Pokemon Center until we get this whole thing straightened out.”
“Are you sure the pokemon center is safe?”
Skyla grinned coyly. “This town is even more redneck then Mistralton back in Unova. You can bet that if anyone starts shooting up a pokemon center, people will come out of the trees with their shotguns.” She lifted Winona into the passenger seat of her sedan. “Let’s go, honey. Tell me everything.”
“Where does that leave us?” May asked.
“Let’s head outside.” We started up the stairs, and took the hallway marked “Fortree Pokemon Center. I threw open a pair of double doors, and stepped outside.
“Holy shit...”
Somewhere near Highway 33
Maxwell Terra
Maxie crawled out of the burning wreckage of the helicopter. He felt surprisingly good considering his left side was covered in first degree burns and he had just fallen from a hundred feet up.
“Tabitha, are you there?”
“I’m here.” someone groaned. Maxie lifted the rotors to reveal a badly burnt Tabitha.
“My lieutenant, are you expecting to die?”
“Please...help...”
“If you’d ever read the old stories, you’d know that death is not an end. It is a beginning. Do you fear your new beginning, Tabitha?”
“You...snake...”Tabitha reached for his pistol, but Maxie shot him dead before his broken body could draw. Then he pulled out his radio, which had miraculously survived.
“Reshiram to Alpha squad. Pick me up at exit 21 on Highway 33. We’re returning to base.”
“As you wish, sir.”
