This time I finish the game quickly!
...yeah no. So Elm calls me and tells me he's got a MASTER BALL OMGIHFDSGHOT owait it isn't actually useful right now since I can just kill Ho-Oh and have it respawn later. I'll use it if I ever pick up RNG for Mewtwo.
He then tells me the Kimono Girls are waiting. Well let me leave them waiting.
...what? They'll wait forever it seems. And user 18 who is challenging them also seems to wait forever.
So let me go rematch these three trainers that have been waiting!
*camper has level 17 Geodudes*
...really?
*third mon is level 31*
...well that wasn't worth much EXP. Hey, since I'm already on Route 34, I might as well check out that secret area you access with Surf.
*there are three sisters training there, they have level 24s*
Well that was a waste of time.
*They give me Power Herb*
I don't even think I can use that. Unless I teach Pacifist Solarbeam. But it's freaking one-use.
So now I will go fight Kimono Girls---
*phone call*
Bleh. What is it Brent?
"Did you hear that Bill's sister can't whistle?"
...really? You called me just for that. I don't even know why you're such a big fan or Bill. Or why I have your number. And can't delete it.
So now I will go fight Kimono Girls!
*Leads with Pride*
Yeah I think you can solo them all.
*X-Scissor OHKOes Umbreon and Espeon*
That's it my boy! Now Flareon, this is going to be a tough on--
*Wing Attack OHKOes after Flareon uses Quick Attack*
...I'm shocked. Speaking of which, Jolteon is next!
*Thunderbolt barely doesn't kill me*
I think this is actually the first time I've been overleveled going into the Kimono Girls. Normally I don't grind very much if at all.
*X-Scissor OHKOes Jolteon*
Well that was nice, but now I'm almost out of health. Let's hope Vaporeon doesn't do too much damage.
*It turns out Roost barely outheals Surf*
Let's see...Surf is doing like 40 damage...so I'll need a bunch of Roosti---
*crit Surf OHKOes*
---ng. Well, uh, I guess Pacifist can take this one.
*Miracle Leaf 2HKOes while Vaporeon's Aurora Beam does nothing*
Ah, how bulky Pacifist is.
So the Kimono Girls rant on about how I'm this godly trainer and stuff blah blah blah oh hey a Clear Bell. I wonder what that's for [SPOILER ALERT].
So Bell Tower. The first time I played through this game I got horribly lost in here and I actually grinded my Typhlosion to level 50+ in here. Ah, sweet memories. But this time I have knowledge of the path plus a bulbapedia map! Nothing can stop me now!
*except the Rattata which attack every ten steps*
GAAAAAAAAH. I want to Repel but at the same time any EXP I can get here reduces my time grinding elsewhere.
*Whitney gains a level in Bell Tower*
See what I mean? Though Slow EXP Group means I'm going to suffer grinding this. Or maybe...
Well that can wait because right now Pride takes on Ho-Oh! And I'll kill it for EXP. I sincerely doubt I can even catch it anyways.
*Pride does less than half with Wing Attack, Ho-Oh OHKOes with Sacred Fire*
Well that was to be expected. Whitney, show that bird your Thick Fat!
*Rollout kills it in two hits as it sets up Sunny Day*
...Thick Fat didn't even matter did it? Oh well, what can I say, I got some EXP.
*Route 27 is empty*
Well it seems like all they have you do here is Surf east. Which you couldn't do before because...wait I've actually never tried that. Who stops you from Surfing east before Ho-Oh event? The world may never know.
Random dude: "Hey stop and listen to what I have to say!"
I don't have ti--
"You're in Kanto now!"
...really? That was it? Thanks for the useless dialogue.
So GameFreak must really like portmanteaus. They have the Tohjo falls and the Sinjoh ruins. Tohjo falls isn't even a proper portmanteau smh.
Our first trainer on Route 27. And she has...Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur. Which I OHKO with Pride. Every single one.
Woman in house: "Your Pride likes you!"
...that's surprising, actually, given how much I make it faint.
"Here have this!"
Is that TM27 Return?
*Nope, TM37 Sandstorm*
Well, that's tras--wait, that's actually really useful for John's upcoming solo. It had to learn it anyways, and it doesn't exactly miss Swagger.
*there are two paths, one climbing a hill with grass, another surfing across a whirlpool*
And both paths are equally pointless and lead me to the same destination. Really, I don't know why I bother.
*said destination has a Psychic I OHKO (well 2HKO since he had two mons) with Pride*
And I said Pride was annoying and difficult to use.
*Ace Trainer with Rapidash reminds me why I said that*
It's almost like the game's trolling me. Nah, Gamefreak wouldn't do that.
Would they?
So I get through Route 26, then Victory Road, which has no trainers. But its Pokemon are amazing for EXP. And naturally I get ambushed by user 18, who must be soloed with Pride.
*Sneasel's Quick Attack does nothing to Pride as it sets up Swords Dance*
Now here's the thing. user 18 now has a Magneton, which has Spark and Supersonic. So as a precaution I'll just apply two X Defends.
*takes Icy Wind, then two-hit Fury Swipes*
Alright, time to Roost up, restore my Speed, and sweep!
*Faint Attack as I Roost, Icy Wind as I X Speed, Faint Attack as I X Speed again*
Alright, slicing time!
*X-Scissor OHKOes*
Typhlosion? A Fire-type? Oh no, whatever shall I do?
*Wing Attack OHKOes, Magneton comes out*
Alright, the moment of truth---
*X-Scissor 2HKOes while Supersonic misses*
lol that was easier than I expected. Well the rest of the fight should be cake.
*It is*
See, that's the thing I love about Pride. Its lows are terrible, but its highs are so amazing they offset any and all lows.
So now I grind everything to level 48! Except Whitney and Ordinary? who can't exactly level up easily against the foes in Victory Road.
...oh wait I forgot something didn't I.
*goes to Mt. Mortar*
There should be interesting things in here...
*Super Nerd with Seadra*
AHHHHHH NOOOO TAKE IT AWAY TAKE IT AWAY
*Karate King*
Well that's easy EXP for Pride. Who is already level 47. I won't have to grind him too much.
*almost nothing of value*
...well that was a waste of time wasn't it?
*cue grinding montage*
So basically I gave EXP. Share to Ordinary? and grinded everything else on my team. Then once everything was level 48, except for level 43 Miltank, I shoved a Rare Candy down his throat. And five down Whitney's. And now we're ready. We have five scramblemons, so I'll have each one solo an E4 member. Tentatively, that means Pride does Will, John does Koga, Pacifist Bruno, Ordinary? Karen, and Whitney Lance.
But we'll see.
vs. Will:
*Pride uses Swords Dance, Xatu uses Confuse Ray*
Oh that's totally gonna kill me isn't it. I can't revive Pride either.
*Pride hits itself twice as Psychic crits for a KO*
I'm pretty sure that KOed anyways...sigh...*reset*
Attempt 2:
*This time Xatu uses Psychic for less than a 3HKO, while Pride sets up a Swords Dance.*
I don't think I need more than one?
*Wing Attack barely fails to OHKO Xatu, which uses Psychic again*
Well I'm glad I found out now rather than against his last Xatu which has Aerial Ace.
*Will heals his Xatu as I Swords Dance again*
I should OHKO everything now.
*yup*
...well that was easy.
vs. Koga:
Okay so this one is tricky. John will lead, but Ariados has Giga Drain, so I'll have to switch to Pacifist or Ordinary? to take the Giga Drain, then back to John to take the Poison Jab, and repeat until I stall out all 5 PP.
*John switches to Pacifist then back*
Alright cool.
*Ariados uses Spider Web as I switch back in*
...not cool. Well it only has 5 PP and I have like thirty Revives so here we go!
*cycle occurs again*
Nice.
*and again*
Okay so now he's used all five PP. We'll just set u--
*Giga Drain again*
...wait what?
...........so it seems that from generation III to IV they changed its PP from 5 to 10. Well I can stall all of these out but I really don't want to...sigh...Ordinary? can take this.
*X-Special and X-Accuracy to start*
Can't have Muk ruining our party.
*Flamethrower OHKOes Ariados*
Nice.
*Flamethrower 2HKOes Crobat as it uses Wing Attack for very little damage*
It's times like this that 140 Defense comes in handy.
*Muk takes forever thanks to Minimize but I do salvage four Flamethrower PP, and it missed every single Gunk Shot*
BWAHAHAHAHA you should have used an X-Accuracy friend!
*Venomoth comes out, it has Psychic*
Ehh, I can probably take one.
*Instead it misses with Supersonic*
...really? Well Forretress should be easy pickings.
*It takes two shots because of Protect*
Good thing I killed Muk as quickly as I did. Although I do have five Ethers. That I haven't used yet.
vs. Bruno:
Alright, Pacifist, show Bruno your Reflect!
*Reflect and 2 X Defends set up*
Hmm...how many X Specials do I need...let's just go for two right now.
*+2 Magical Leaf fails to 2HKO Hitmontop*
...I am shocked.
*another X Special, as Hitmontop uses Counter for the second time*
...why would you even use that? I don't understand.
*Magical Leaf kills Hitmontop*
Okay, Hitmonlee is up next. High Jump Kick and Blaze Kick could be problematic.
*thanks to Reflect and +2 Defense, Blaze Kick barely leaves a dent*
Or that could happen. What Pacifist lacks in power, it makes up for in survivability.
*Blaze Kick burns as Magical Leaf finishes off Hitmonlee.*
That's annoying. It shouldn't be too harmful though and anyways I have Full Restores
*a few turns of taking Ice Punches and using Synthesis later*
Well I guess it's a good thing it burned and didn't freeze.
*Hitmonchan and Onix go down*
*Machamp gets critted by Magical Leaf, hangs on with a sliver of health and uses Cross Chop, which fortunately does not crit*
That could have been disastrous. And cut!
*Thanks to Sitrus Berry, there is no heal, so Machamp is cut up by leaves*
That should leave Bruno in pieces. *drops mic*
So now John soloes Karen. The main problem here is Gengar, which Geodude can't damage...
...outside of SANDSTORM MUAHAHAHAHA
...ahem. So Umbreon can be easily set up on.
*4 X Defends, 6 X SpDefs, 6 X Speeds, 4 X Attacks*
You know, I'm not even sure if Geodude will outspeed things. It has 40 Speed.
*I hit myself in confusion a couple times*
Any day now...
*Payback crits*
...oh shit
*but only does like 60/110 damage*
Well Geodude is a bulky dude. And Umbreon can't deal damage for shit.
*much healing and missing later*
Ugh, maybe I should have used an X-Accuracy. Fucking +6 Evasion...
*Rock Smash crits next turn and OHKOes Umbreon*
...or that could happen
*Earthquake OHKOes Vileplume*
Okay thank god I outsped. Otherwise it could have been disastrous.
*Gengar comes out*
Alright, here goes.
*Sandstorm, Gengar uses Spite*
...hmm that can be annoying since I need to refresh Sand a lot.
*Rock Smash*
Spite this. Go ahead.
*Instead it uses Focus Blast, which hits*
Well it only has five. Moomoo Milk time!
*Focus Blast misses*
Nice. I'll stall this out by wasting turns with Poke Balls.
*Focus Blast crits*
.........................................
*reset*
Okay this time I may want to soften Umbreon up with Rock Smash first.
*does so*
*Karen switches to Gengar*
...what? Butbutbut NPCs don't switch! Well I can rely on Focus Miss here still.
*nope*
Alright fuck this *reset*
*third time opens the exact same way as the first up to Gengar*
It's like this is scripted. I think if you drop Umbreon's Defense she'll switch? It's hard to tell for sure though.
*Gengar uses four Focus Blasts*
Alright, no crit yet. Just one more and it's smooth sail--
*crit*
..........
Actually wait. What's the rest of Gengar's set?
*Lick, Destiny Bond, Spite*
Okay, that's not so bad. I'll just revive John and set up the X Speeds again.
*Lick does 7 damage*
lol
*sets up 6 X Speed, 2 X Attack*
I'm not sure if that's enough, but it's definitely enough for Houndoom and anyways Murkrow can't touch me.
*heals para, gets paralyzed again*
It's like the game hates me.
*heals para, no para this time!*
Alright, next turn Gengar dies to Sandstorm. I just need Lick not to paralyze here.
*it doesn't*
Nice. Now the moment of truth.
*John outspeeds Houndoom*
Nice.
*but it survives and OHKOes John with Dark Pulse!*
...yeah jk. And it turns out John could OHKO Murkrow at +2 too. It's actually not that bad in terms of power. Certainly better than Pacifist there. It can solo even Karen of the Elite Four with the help of 6 X Attacks, four X Defends, 6 X SpDefs, 12 X Speeds, one Revive, and like ten Moomoo Milks!
...fuck how will I do this in E4 Round 2.
Anyways, now it's time for the ultimate battle! Typically an ultimate battle like this would demand that I use all of my Pokemon, but Whitney just wants some sort of vindication. So she will solo.
vs. Lance:
*I Attract, then set up X Speed and X Accuracy against Gyarados*
Given how much his Waterfall is doing (It's not even a 3HKO), I think I should be fine.
*three hits of Rollout leaves Gyarados at a sliver of health*
Well that sucks.
*fourth hit kills it, fifth hit kills a Dragonite*
That was one of the level 49s. I don't know how Lance even has Dragonites below level 55. I guess he hacks.
Oh wait, we already know he hacks. He has a Barrier Dragonite and Rock Slide Aerodactyl in various games.
*I Attract Dragonite, which crits and KOes Whitney from 100+ health with Dragon Rush*
..................
really?
*Revives Whitney, but Dragonite actually deals half of my health with one Dragon Rush*
...........dammit. *reset*
*Attract, X Speed, X Accuracy, then X Defends this time*
Better safe than sorry.
*Rollout does the same thing as before, but this time Lance sacrifices his level 50 Dragonite*
Very smart decision there Lance. I commend you.
*Dragonite Thunder Waves me as I try to get another Rollout going*
..........really? Well looks like Rollout won't be much help against these guys.
*Stomps them to death slowly*
Emphasis on slowly. I don't know how many I used because I lost count.
*Charizard*
BWAHAHAHAHA well Charizard, meet Rollout.
*Air Slash almost 2HKOes, but two hits take out Charizard*
:O
*third hit removes Aerodactyl*
:O:O:O:O
*fourth hit takes out the last Dragonite*
We did it folks! And I didn't even use that many X-Items. Wait, who? I don't know of this John you speak of.
So anyways we watch the credits and see that it took us 30 hours to get to this point.
That's actually the longest I've taken to beat any Pokemon game. Who knew?
CURRENT STATUS: Hall of Fame
Badges: 8
Retries: 11 (1x Will, 1x Koga, 2x Karen, 1x Lance)
Level: 49
Nature: Lonely
Ability: Technician
-Swords Dance
-Roost
-X-Scissor
-Wing Attack
Jasmine soloed: yes
Brock soloed: no
Leaders soloed: Whitney, Jasmine, Will
Pride is actually the lifeblood of the team. It outdamages everyone else on the team by a very significant margin and only faints due to hax or an unwinnable matchup it's forced to solo or die. When I enter Kanto, I will get it evolved ASAP so I'll have less of those matchups. But right now, it can continue to kick ass all it wants. I'm fine with that.
Level: 49 (5x Rare Candy)
Nature: Rash
Ability: Thick Fat
-Attract
-Rollout
-Stomp
-Milk Drink
Chuck soloed: yes
Leaders soloed: Morty, Chuck, Pryce, Lance
Whitney lacks power, but has so much bulk and hax potential with Attract that the lack of power doesn't really matter. Additionally, Rollout steamrolls entire teams, which sort of mitigates the power issue. I'll just let Whitney's list of soloes speak for itself here.
Level: 48 (1x Rare Candy)
Nature: Timid
-Poison Gas
-Sludge Bomb
-Smog
-Flamethrower
Rocket Hideout soloed: yes
Radio Tower soloed: yes
Misty soloed: no
Janine soloed: no
Sabrina soloed: no
Leaders soloed: Koga (without healing, even!)
I haven't actually used Sludge Bomb yet, but I realize now that I've made a terrible mistake with last chapter's ratings: Ordinary? is actually really powerful. Base 90 Special Attack with moves like Flamethrower and Sludge Bomb, along with a single weakness and Base 140 Defense make it a god among Pokemon. Of course, it's not Whitney-level bulky or Pride-level powerful, but Ordinary? manages to strike a happy medium that I'm happy with as well. I actually look forward to using it.
Level: 49
Nature: Brave
-Reflect
-Light Screen
-Magical Leaf
-Synthesis
Elder Li soloed: yes
Light Screen learned: yes
Leaders soloed: Clair, Bruno
Pacifist's solo was actually the only one I managed without retries, but it doesn't fix Pacifist's main flaw of not being able to deal damage. It took three X Specials to 2HKO Hitmontop, and even then it couldn't 2HKO Machamp. Still, I enjoy its consistency, but it falls to spot #4 in this update because my other Pokemon have started to outclass it.
@ Everstone
Level: 49
Nature: Naughty
Ability: Sturdy
-Strength (HM)
-Earthquake
-Rock Smash (HM)
-Sandstorm (TM)
TMs learned: more than I can bother to count
HMs learned: 2
Leaders soloed: Falkner, Bugsy, Karen (thank fucking god for Sandstorm)
Gym Leader soloed: yes
Elite Four soloed (Round 1): yes
Elite four soloed (Round 2): no
Did I say my other Pokemon were starting to outclass Pacifist? Well that definitely doesn't include John, who continues to struggle along as per usual. John's Attack and Defense are actually almost up to par with Pacifist's, but it's really slow and dies to pretty much everything. If only this was Gen VI when Sturdy prevented OHKO and Pokemon past the level at which they would normally evolve get boosted EXP.