Couldn't you just get all the Intimidate users and Intimidate the heck out of the Lions until they're doing like no dmg
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who would win in a fight- 1 billion lions or 1 of every pokemon (roughly 900)?
- Thread starter p0ip0le
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Pretty sure hitmontop would starve to death long before killing a billion lions
This has genuinely haunted me ever since I first saw it posted late last night. You know that Pokemon is a series about the titular creatures being subjugated by children right? The series tagline is "Gotta Catch 'Em All", not "Gotta Catch Most of 'Em, Except for the Few WMDs"
I'm just here farming reactions like lion supports farm this fat L
To be fair this is a pokemon community not a lion community. Plus, it's not like Pokemon fans do their research anyway. Us few enlightened ones don't need the satisfaction of proving we've won to these people to know we have.
On a side note, I'm going to go found Löwin, a competitive lion community. I need some programmers to write my sim, Lion Showdown. If you know anybody interested, hmu.
On a side note, I'm going to go found Löwin, a competitive lion community. I need some programmers to write my sim, Lion Showdown. If you know anybody interested, hmu.
Someone asked for facts on lion biology, and I won’t claim to be an expert, but I will tell you that they’re really fucking lazy. Spend half the day just laying around because it’s not like anything is going to attack a lion. Found this article going into more detail on how they actually act in the wild. Also, as I mentioned, they’re not naturally threatened by much other than other lions as they’re apex predators, so lions probably wouldn’t have a lot of matchup experience against non-lion attackers.
But Pokémon tend to be either bigger or smaller than their real world counterparts because god forbid we have even the slightest bit of variety in the sizes of them, so like, I guess they have an advantage because Hippowdon is a goddamn midget compared to the real deal? The fact that most large mons are way too light for their size because they don’t want anything to weigh over 1 metric ton for some arbitrary reason is actually a very good argument against the Pokémon (I mean obviously they win with all the gods and shit on their side but I want to make this interesting), as they’ll be overpowered very easily due to most of them being goddamn featherweights. For a particularly egregious example, Celesteela’s canon weight is about 1000 kilograms, but I calculated based on the weight of real world rockets that it should be somewhere around 200000 kilograms. It’s half of one percent of the weight it should be!
But Pokémon tend to be either bigger or smaller than their real world counterparts because god forbid we have even the slightest bit of variety in the sizes of them, so like, I guess they have an advantage because Hippowdon is a goddamn midget compared to the real deal? The fact that most large mons are way too light for their size because they don’t want anything to weigh over 1 metric ton for some arbitrary reason is actually a very good argument against the Pokémon (I mean obviously they win with all the gods and shit on their side but I want to make this interesting), as they’ll be overpowered very easily due to most of them being goddamn featherweights. For a particularly egregious example, Celesteela’s canon weight is about 1000 kilograms, but I calculated based on the weight of real world rockets that it should be somewhere around 200000 kilograms. It’s half of one percent of the weight it should be!
There are currently 898 things attacking lions.
This reminds me: what about alternate forms? What about Unown forms? Deoxys forms? Rotoms? Cosplay Pikachu, LGPE partner Pikachu/Eevee? Therians? Kyurems and Necrozmas and Calyrexes? Even discounting hold items there should be more.
Also if we're counting visually different forms like Gastrodon and Keldeo what about Spinda? There are 3,945,136,128 different Spinda sprites so Spindas outnumber lions almost 4 to 1. Stuff like Mewtwo and Groudon and Kyogre will watch in the distance and throw an occasional Psystrike/Earth Power/Water Spout etc while Spindas overwhelm lions. Checkmate lionists
p0ip0le
it's a billion lions
"1 of each pokemon", if they share the same natdex number they are the same pokemon. unown-t and unown-e are the same pokemon, deoxys-d and deoxys are the same, etc
spinda does not have forms
If Yveltal and Xerneas are removed because of their dex entry - which doesn't specify how long they're AWAKE - then magcargo's dex entry is on the table. GG, everything not fire-typed burns. Thus, they are not removed for that dex entry - especially since many of the games, etc. are after they awaken, so they get a part in this.
Mon win #1a: Yveltal and Xerneas disallowed by incomplete dex entry, so by the same reason, Magcargo just incinerates everything by being alive.
Mon win #1b: Yveltal re-enacts Mystery Dungeon without opposition, lions quickly turned to stone.
Groudon v Kyogre: Either it's happening, and thus they're threatening the entire region, or Rayquaza's stopped them. If Rayquaza stops them early, then Rayquaza's upper atmosphere strat works, and the mons win. If they're fighting, then the fight itself does enough collateral damage to wipe the lions. Btw, when the two fight, it's not valid to battle them - a battle of behemoths that nothing short of Rayquaza can interfere with. Also, either land or sea behemoth, just by existing, wrecks climates
Mon win #2a: Collateral Damage from Groudon v Kyogre
Mon win #2b: Rayquaza just can't be caught by lions
Mon win #3a: Groudon drought destroys all food. Lions starve
Mon win #3b: Kyogre flood destroys all land lions can live on. Lions drown.
Mewtwo: remember that world storm from his island base? He wasn't beaten there, only persuaded to stop. Also he RESET TIME. Being beaten by Red doesn't make him weak; mons are established as one of the only things that can take down another mon.
Legendary Birds: Movie 2000, their fight was out of reach of non-ranged attacks, and as a side effect, they made a world storm that it took Lugia to stop.
Mon win #4: Mewtwo world storm
Mon win #5: Beast of the Sea World Storm
Creation Trio + Arceus
Arceus can create members of the Creation trio, so he can just do whatever the others can. Any of the three can literally remake the world, per Cyrus's plan. (Or, in Giratina's case, balance another). Giratina: leaving aside that Dialga's the only reason they were trapped in Distortion World, Shaymin freed them, so they're not trapped.
Mon win #6a: Palkia remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6b: Dialga remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6c: Giratina remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6d: Arceus remakes the world minus lions
Giratina in Distortion World:
Mon win #7: Giratina creates imbalances and thus a disaster like a fast-moving glacier, lions smashed. Some Pokemon can escape.
Yin-Yang
Zekrom and Reshiram destroyed a region with their clash, once. That was collateral damage. They can do it again. Also they're complements, not enemies, so they won't fight each other without a good reason. The lions would be a huge ecological imbalance, so they would (see that black/white movie, when they dropped everything for an imbalance).
Mon win #8: Zekrom and Reshiram yin-yang apocalypse
Eternatus:
Mon win #9: Dynamaxed monsters; lions lack the magic Pokemon have to fight Kaiju.
Jirachi wishmaking:
"I wish the lions were gone." 
"Granted"
Mon win #10: I wish upon a Jirachi
__________________________
Let's leave the legendaries behind for a bit, now
A fair number of water types and a few dragons live in deep water. Thus, the battlefield must include it. A fair number of them have ranged attacks (Water Gun, Hyper Beam, Scald, Thunderbolt, etc). Those mons can just slowly chip away at the lions, who'll drown if they try and chase. Gyarados, for instance, is a city-buster by itself.
Mon win #11: Water types. Also Dragonite's line and Lugia and a few others
From the lion side:
Due to lion herd politics, if they don't all fight each other for the territory, then they're a single pride, and the 500 million males will fight each other for dominance until only a couple remain. And when there's a lack of food, the females will drive the remainder off - or kill them - for mismanagement of the pride. With no males, the lions die off from lack of reproduction as a few Pokemon evade them forever.
Mon win #12: Lions are really not suited to these large numbers.
The raw power of certain Pokemon:
Would you want to try and fight something that blows up in your face at the first sign of trouble? Or something that shocks you when you get near (electric fences say hi). Or burns you when you get close?
Draw: Lions have self-preservation and retreat when the first Electrode and Golem blow up in their face, or after a few fire types use Eruption, or when Rotom and some other electric types just use Discharge. Pokemon let them run, like they let trainers run.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: the Pokemon world exists because the Pokemon choose not to wreck it, and because gym leaders, elite 4, champions, and player characters (and some rivals) help prop it up, backed by the ludicrously powerful Pokeballs (seriously, game theory did a theory on that, and showed how much energy they use - it's cataclysmic, if unleashed.)
And no matter what, the ecological damage from too many apex predators will kill the lions off, anyway. So, mons don't lose, ever.
Mon win #1a: Yveltal and Xerneas disallowed by incomplete dex entry, so by the same reason, Magcargo just incinerates everything by being alive.
Mon win #1b: Yveltal re-enacts Mystery Dungeon without opposition, lions quickly turned to stone.
Groudon v Kyogre: Either it's happening, and thus they're threatening the entire region, or Rayquaza's stopped them. If Rayquaza stops them early, then Rayquaza's upper atmosphere strat works, and the mons win. If they're fighting, then the fight itself does enough collateral damage to wipe the lions. Btw, when the two fight, it's not valid to battle them - a battle of behemoths that nothing short of Rayquaza can interfere with. Also, either land or sea behemoth, just by existing, wrecks climates
Mon win #2a: Collateral Damage from Groudon v Kyogre
Mon win #2b: Rayquaza just can't be caught by lions
Mon win #3a: Groudon drought destroys all food. Lions starve
Mon win #3b: Kyogre flood destroys all land lions can live on. Lions drown.
Mewtwo: remember that world storm from his island base? He wasn't beaten there, only persuaded to stop. Also he RESET TIME. Being beaten by Red doesn't make him weak; mons are established as one of the only things that can take down another mon.
Legendary Birds: Movie 2000, their fight was out of reach of non-ranged attacks, and as a side effect, they made a world storm that it took Lugia to stop.
Mon win #4: Mewtwo world storm
Mon win #5: Beast of the Sea World Storm
Creation Trio + Arceus
Arceus can create members of the Creation trio, so he can just do whatever the others can. Any of the three can literally remake the world, per Cyrus's plan. (Or, in Giratina's case, balance another). Giratina: leaving aside that Dialga's the only reason they were trapped in Distortion World, Shaymin freed them, so they're not trapped.
Mon win #6a: Palkia remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6b: Dialga remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6c: Giratina remakes the world minus lions
Mon win #6d: Arceus remakes the world minus lions
Giratina in Distortion World:
Mon win #7: Giratina creates imbalances and thus a disaster like a fast-moving glacier, lions smashed. Some Pokemon can escape.
Yin-Yang
Zekrom and Reshiram destroyed a region with their clash, once. That was collateral damage. They can do it again. Also they're complements, not enemies, so they won't fight each other without a good reason. The lions would be a huge ecological imbalance, so they would (see that black/white movie, when they dropped everything for an imbalance).
Mon win #8: Zekrom and Reshiram yin-yang apocalypse
Eternatus:
Mon win #9: Dynamaxed monsters; lions lack the magic Pokemon have to fight Kaiju.
Jirachi wishmaking:
"I wish the lions were gone." "Granted"Mon win #10: I wish upon a Jirachi
__________________________
Let's leave the legendaries behind for a bit, now
A fair number of water types and a few dragons live in deep water. Thus, the battlefield must include it. A fair number of them have ranged attacks (Water Gun, Hyper Beam, Scald, Thunderbolt, etc). Those mons can just slowly chip away at the lions, who'll drown if they try and chase. Gyarados, for instance, is a city-buster by itself.
Mon win #11: Water types. Also Dragonite's line and Lugia and a few others
From the lion side:
Due to lion herd politics, if they don't all fight each other for the territory, then they're a single pride, and the 500 million males will fight each other for dominance until only a couple remain. And when there's a lack of food, the females will drive the remainder off - or kill them - for mismanagement of the pride. With no males, the lions die off from lack of reproduction as a few Pokemon evade them forever.
Mon win #12: Lions are really not suited to these large numbers.
The raw power of certain Pokemon:
Would you want to try and fight something that blows up in your face at the first sign of trouble? Or something that shocks you when you get near (electric fences say hi). Or burns you when you get close?
Draw: Lions have self-preservation and retreat when the first Electrode and Golem blow up in their face, or after a few fire types use Eruption, or when Rotom and some other electric types just use Discharge. Pokemon let them run, like they let trainers run.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: the Pokemon world exists because the Pokemon choose not to wreck it, and because gym leaders, elite 4, champions, and player characters (and some rivals) help prop it up, backed by the ludicrously powerful Pokeballs (seriously, game theory did a theory on that, and showed how much energy they use - it's cataclysmic, if unleashed.)
And no matter what, the ecological damage from too many apex predators will kill the lions off, anyway. So, mons don't lose, ever.
i mean you not wrong
oh my god
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