TW, Self harm, Suicide.
This is gonna be a very rambly post, probably nothing important, if you have something you wanna say about what i included in this post my discord is pannuracotta#0454 and im open to conversations
ive been depressed for aslong as i can remember, its to the point where it affects my life in very major ways, theres been alot of days where im just straight-up too depressed to get out of bed, ive been to depressed to eat food for multiple days, doing self-destructive shit to try and make my friends hate me because i dont believe i deserve something as simple as friends, i always push people away for this reason and its probably why i havent made more then maybe 7 friends who i actually somewhat trust and care for on this website after being on it for like almost a year
Recently i've been considering therapy, like alot. ive always discounted therapy as an option for me because "I dont trust people at all, i dont even trust some of my closest friends, why would i trust some stranger?" But i think ive reached a point where i might straight up need therapy, my mental health is constantly getting worse and worse and i wonder at what point itll stop, and when it stops and gets at its aboslute lowest, will i get happier or will i just, stay like that?
Ive been used to harming myself to cope with my emotions, this isnt the most healthy coping mechanisim but i believed it to be a more viable option then talking to other people. But ive stopped cutting and tried to avoid other forms of SH for almost a year at this point, there is no real good reason to why i stopped, people just seem to think its weird that i feel so comfortable harming myself and being open about it, and i dont wanna be seen as weird i guess.
Im about to get into the age where i have to decide what i wanna work as when i get older, and honestly its really difficult. ive always just assumed that i would be dead by the time i turn into an adult but recently ive been thinking about what i should do if im not dead by that point, theres not any job that has really interested me and i feel like between my serious lack of work ethic and inability to focus on stuff, i wouldnt fit in any sort of work envoirment and its really giving me alot to worry about
im just really worried about my mental health, future, and general wellbeing
This is gonna be a very rambly post, probably nothing important, if you have something you wanna say about what i included in this post my discord is pannuracotta#0454 and im open to conversations
ive been depressed for aslong as i can remember, its to the point where it affects my life in very major ways, theres been alot of days where im just straight-up too depressed to get out of bed, ive been to depressed to eat food for multiple days, doing self-destructive shit to try and make my friends hate me because i dont believe i deserve something as simple as friends, i always push people away for this reason and its probably why i havent made more then maybe 7 friends who i actually somewhat trust and care for on this website after being on it for like almost a year
Recently i've been considering therapy, like alot. ive always discounted therapy as an option for me because "I dont trust people at all, i dont even trust some of my closest friends, why would i trust some stranger?" But i think ive reached a point where i might straight up need therapy, my mental health is constantly getting worse and worse and i wonder at what point itll stop, and when it stops and gets at its aboslute lowest, will i get happier or will i just, stay like that?
Ive been used to harming myself to cope with my emotions, this isnt the most healthy coping mechanisim but i believed it to be a more viable option then talking to other people. But ive stopped cutting and tried to avoid other forms of SH for almost a year at this point, there is no real good reason to why i stopped, people just seem to think its weird that i feel so comfortable harming myself and being open about it, and i dont wanna be seen as weird i guess.
Im about to get into the age where i have to decide what i wanna work as when i get older, and honestly its really difficult. ive always just assumed that i would be dead by the time i turn into an adult but recently ive been thinking about what i should do if im not dead by that point, theres not any job that has really interested me and i feel like between my serious lack of work ethic and inability to focus on stuff, i wouldnt fit in any sort of work envoirment and its really giving me alot to worry about
im just really worried about my mental health, future, and general wellbeing