Social LGBTQIA+

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idk if i ever have talked about it here before, but yeah im bisexual. Its been a hard time to come to terms of it but i feel like this is the time to really come out publicly with it. Cannot believe i have the confidence to say this.
 
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Uh huh, nice one Twitter.

So for those unaware, while a massive protest for trans rights was going on, JK Rowling was apparently having dinner with people from the "Respect my Sex" campaign. Initially, this looks neat, but here's the catch.

The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!

Not exactly the best optics on the day of the protest, JK...not that she really has any reputation left after her recent bouts of insanity.

Oh, and the LGB Alliance is yet another transphobic hate group in the UK, which is being funded to make a film that will very likely also be peddling deadly rhetoric. Some sources on their extensive backlog of transphobia...
https://iwgb.org.uk/post/charity-workers-condemn-lgb-alliance
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/matt-lucas-lgb-alliance-trans-b1929993.html
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/man-evicted-manchester-pride-protest-21438362
https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2021/10/14/russell-t-davies-lgb-alliance-attitude-awards/

Not a good day for trans people.

At least this happened!
https://twitter.com/x/status/1513310176941678602
 
May said:
The people she was having dinner with are from "Get the L Out", a lesbian seperatist group known for being part of the "gender critical" movement permeating the UK. They are grossly transphobic and actively campaign for the removal of rights for trans people. As the page will display for you, they are completely insane. Utter nutjobs. They hijacked the London Pride event last year(?) to give out "trans women are rapists" leaflets under police protection as a counter-protest. Oh, and the "Respect my Sex" people launched on a transphobic platform...while also having an article released on April Fools day of all days. Self-own!
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I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.
 
A while back (more than a year ago at this point!), I posted in this thread about being aromantic/bisexual. Lately, I'm not so sure anymore.

The whole concept of being intimate with other people is nothing new to me, and I've been in a couple of FWB relationships not at all focused on any sort of romantic aspects with both male and female partners. But the more I look at them and myself, the more I realize how detached from those aspects of the relationship I've felt. At first I just kind of handwaved it away as my depression making me uninterested in the physical parts of the relationship, but it's become a pattern over a couple of years now. Physically, everything is normal, but mentally, I feel nothing at all. It's weird and very confusing.

I'm not sure where these leaves me as far as my identity. I've been using the asexual label for a bit, but I'm not really sure if that's where I fit? Not sure what I want from this post other than to get these feelings out in the open, sorry.
 
dave said:
I have to say... it’s marvelous how a group of people so passionately emboldened can pedal such a waste of time and effort. “We are witnessing how transactivism demonizes lesbians who are speak out?” Nobody is oppressing women who have sex with women. “We stand against misogynistic politics that prioritize men’s interests: transgenderism?” That’s how I immediately know that they are actively anti-trans, NOT pro-lesbian.

There’s a difference, and those that blindly support causes like this do active, irreversible harm to pro-trans movements.

If that’s difficult to understand, take for example the difference between being a white supremacist and being anti-Black. A white supremacist may believe in the primacy and privileges of white people explicitly; anti-Blackness is actionable and involves a deep-seated desire to oppress Blackness/Black people through any means necessary, whether it be structurally or socially.

So to be pro-lesbian wouldn’t entail bringing anti-trans politic into the game. If you are pro-trans, you know and agree that transgender women are not men in the first place, therefore pro-trans politic should have nothing to do with “anti-women-anything.”

Literally so fucking ill by this, people will do anything to shroud their inflammatory bullshit in digestive, manipulative programming.
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Don't worry, Dave. We don't claim these "lesbians."

Lesbianism isn't just about WLW relationships. There's a history there, after all-- one which over time has developed the intersectionality of both trans women and lesbianism. Lesbian identities, at their core, are subversive of traditional gender identities. Femmes embrace their femininity, that which rejects the male gaze, while butches embrace their masculinity and break it from the association of men. Lesbians have been and are persecuted for this subversion, but it was the unrelenting struggle of lesbians in history (among others in the community of course) that has brought the LGBTQ+ community where it is now. Part of that historical lesbian struggle INCLUDED trans women because they understand more than anything the perils of subversion. To reject trans women from our identity is gross and blatantly anti-lesbian.
 
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
 
Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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well, which thought comes first, the attraction or the doubt?

why do you think you're attracted to men? what do you like about them? maybe if you consider the reasons that fulfill your "relative certainty" of your attraction to men, you'll realize that your doubt isn't about whether or not you're attracted to men, but perhaps whether your reasons are "good enough" or "logical enough" to substantiate your attraction to men, based on some arbitrary set of standards that either exists in reality, or exists in your mind.

emotions/attraction aren't supposed to be logical obviously, natural maybe, but it's supposed to be a good idea to find partners that you're both attracted to AND whom you find you like after active conversations/interactions with them over time!! and attraction is the harder of the two usually, because us smart humans with our big smart brains tend to convolute the process :quagchamppogsire: if only we had a mating dance, perhaps a song...

the reasons you like men probably don't precisely match the reasons why i like them, but there is no rule book to follow either way! :bloblul:
 
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Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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i'm going to be a little blunt with this response, but understand that i have the utmost compassion for what you're going through.

ocd's most potent trick is convincing you that you NEED to figure out things. that you need to know things without a shadow of a doubt, that uncertainty is unacceptable, and that there IS some firm answer out there that will resolve the obsession.

i understand how tricky it can be to distinguish between your "real" sexuality and a potential OCD theme, but I promise that the most important thing you can do is learn to live with that uncertainty and not spend hours ruminating over whether an event or an interaction was "real" or "genuine" or "proof" etc etc. if you decide to ID as gay and then later on down the road realize it doesn't align with you, ok! if you remain unlabeled and something solidifies later on, great! but in the meantime, try and accept the uncertainty and avoid rumination, as hard as it may be.

if you have access to a therapist specializing in OCD (especially one qualified to deal with LGBTQ issues), i highly recommend asking them for help on this. all of this is so much easier said than done, and having someone in your corner who has experience with guiding people through this is super helpful.
 
Chadlad50 said:
why is it so hard to pinpoint my attractions, specifically towards men?

I mean it might be because I have OCD, which is a major issue. It's just so hard knowing for certain what's real and what's fake. I'm relatively certain I get genuine attractions to men, but there's still that lingering doubt and uncertainty, and it's hard to tell.

Any advice? And don't say "you don't need to put a label on it." That's not the issue, I don't care about labels, I just need to figure out what I'm actually attracted to
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What's potentially fake about your attraction to men? I don't know a whole lot about OCD (and less so of its interactions with human sexuality) but glancing at a bit of literature on the matter, I think the differences seem to lie in an underlying sense of shame and anxiety over an attraction to men or being perceived as attracted to men, as well as a disconnect between your sexuality and the obsessive thoughts. One of the characteristics was that simply the potential for being perceived as gay is seriously disruptive in social settings. Like running away from dudes for mentioning your jaw. Considering you have "relative certainty" that you're attracted to men, it sounds to me like this isn't really the OCD. Can't imagine it would hurt to contact an OCD therapist though.
 
Hi friends, it is late in the week now, but happy Lesbian visibility week!!

I don't really have an interesting coming out story, and I've only recently joined Smogon community, but seeing how LGBTQ+ friendly you guys are, it makes my heart flutter and very happy. :D

Thank you all for being compassionate, hope your week is going well!
 
in honor of lesbian visibility week, here’s a picture of me and my lovely girlfriend for everyone’s viewing !
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to all my sapphics out there: i understand it may seem intimidating to find a relationship with another woman. but TRUST ME when i say that we are all people at the end of the day, so please don’t let yourself feel nervous talking to girls and risk not making a connection there. get out there and GET THAT GAME
 
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FRIENDS, this is an absolute must-watch. It's so wholesome, subverts a ton of cliches, and is just in general very well made and thoughtful. I can't stop thinking about it and it makes my heart so happy, i need more seasons so I am pleading and begging everyone to at least give it a peek.

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There's also positive trans and lesbian representation and storylines (I believe all played by actual gay, bi, trans and lesbian actors), it's just so good

Happy lesbian visibility week!
 
fx said:
in honor of lesbian visibility week, here’s a picture of me and my lovely girlfriend for everyone’s viewing !
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to all my sapphics out there: i understand it may seem intimidating to find a relationship with another woman. but TRUST ME when i say that we are all people at the end of the day, so please don’t let yourself feel nervous talking to girls and risk not making a connection there. get out there and GET THAT GAME
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SO CUTE
 
pannuracotta said:
I lied yall.

After testing using any pronouns for like 8 months ive come to the conclusion that both he and she pronouns being used for me make me very uncomfortable.

So Im nonbinary, they/them only.
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wazzaaaap

you never lied, you've just learned something contrary to what you believed before! i think ignorant people will often fling that line of "but you said you were x, you can't just say you're something else now" because those types of people are only ever trying to project a VERSION of you so they treat you a certain way, rather than actually acknowledging you as a person and treating you like you should be treated based on YOUR wants and needs

so don't let yourself tell you that you were somehow dishonest in your journey of self, only we know our own "truths" and it's not dishonest if we're bumbling along until we find it !
 
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
 
Im too lazy to wait for June lmao i cannot deal with this anymore <3
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Thats right Smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq, im trans (mtf.) Now i never thought i was going to like... ever say this and i thought this was a secret going to the fucking grave with me, but here we are. I guess i should explain how i got to this conclusion, huh?
I never considered that being Male was part of me, or that i enjoyed it. I guess i was indifferent? But well for about the last 3 years i started to hate being male and started to experience a state of dysphoria, so thats how i started to kinda realize i was trans. Now covid hitted and the dysphoria hitted like a TRUCK, so i sorta kinda began to act a bit like a girl in online spaces (I made an alternate account, and made friends on that) and that eventually made me realize: I WAS NOT A MAN. I didnt know if i was really a "girl" now or if i was just having a weird phase but i realized this isnt a phase or whatever, this was me. I just didnt want to act like a girl and being treated as one online, i wanted to be one in real life. I realized that about 6 months ago. Ive been hiding that fact until now. So yeah, i can call myself a girlboss now openly. fun
TL;DR: Yas Queen
(oh yeah, she/her pronouns pls, called me Gabriela or Bella, thats what im trying right now but its subject to change)
[/SPOILER
 
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Chadlad50 said:
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
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Oh for sure I do! I go entire days where my thoughts revolve entirely around double-guessing my feelings, be it my sexuality, what love truly means and if I'm really in love with people, and whatnot. Just ask my lovelies May and Finland about how obnoxious I can get about that sort of stuff hehe.

The one huge thing I have been learning recently when it comes to handling that sort of heart-shredding doubt is that I don't need to have a definitive answer, because there might not be one. Learning to go with the flow and with what makes you comfortable is the really important part of this whole mess we call feelings. Emphasis on the idea of flow here, as it's also important to acknowledge that emotions and feelings aren't set in stone, they're not a mathematical constant. Some days you may feel very attracted to men, or to women, or to specific people, and others much less. That's a very natural thing. I understand why one might find it terrifying, as it can be perceived as a lack of control - and in a way, it is. It's also the reason it's very easy to question everything you know about yourself.

The other thing that's helped me is just gaining overall experience with relationships. Thoughts and speculations are only worth so much in the face of previous experiences. They help getting a grasp on reality when my thoughts go haywire.


I don't know how to wrap this up but uh, while it may not be much, I hope these small pieces of advice help you.
 
I ended up coming out later in life, about 23 to be specific. I'm a trans female and I'm glad to see that so many people feel like they can come out so freely in these times cause around the time I was growing up the trans movement had zero visibility and being gay was even more controversial than it is today. Coming out actually wasn't the hard part because I messaged some of my family members saying I would prefer them to think of me more of as a daughter/sister rather than a son and a brother. There was some resistance initially from my two sisters more so than my parents, including my 65 year old boomer dad. I worked a lot with a therapist I connected with at a local mental health facility & she and I talked some deal about being called slurs in high school and other fun topics.

I'm kind of glad I've survived it all cause there were times I was quite suicidal and to some degree I came to hate the people around me.
 
Chadlad50 said:
Do you ever find it difficult to trust your own thoughts about your sexuality? For me it's just so hard to trust myself, even the thoughts that support what I believe I might be (Bisexual)
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short answer - yes, everyone feels this way.

long answer - yes! it doesnt matter how supportive our families are of us coming out/transitions/etc, lgbtq hatred is such a large part of society that we see it everywhere, even if inadvertantly. for example, the situation in the United states. even if someone isnt directly affected by it (say, a trans person from europe) the hatred towards people exactly the same as them is something that they will cling onto and remember, even though they arent the ones in the troubled situations. big things like this, and even small things like one of your friends saying "thats so gay bro" to you, makes feelings about gender and identity have a stigma, and a struggle in which being one of those things is a struggle that you have to hide and not be so sure about. the number one thing that we need to remember is how important it is to trust ourselves, as in situations like these (and like yours) you are the only person who knows how you feel, and who you are attracted to.
 
The biggest and most consistent issue is this imposter syndrome I've got about my attractions, identity, and wether or not it's real or if I'm faking it. This part is definitely affected by OCD (as I've mentioned in the mental health threads)
 
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