is it weird if i have a hard time discovering my special interests?
I wouldn’t say so, generally speaking. One thing I want to encourage more people to do is resize where their interests are coming from. I for one believe the term “special interest” is starting to become a bit outdated, as humanity leans more and more into the idea of specific interests and hobbies becoming the social norm. In other words, a “special interest” isn’t that much different from any other kind of interest these days.is it weird if i have a hard time discovering my special interests?
okay! i was just worried i was like, "not autistic enough" or something, because my interests seem to fade in and out! sometimes im in the mood for pokemon, sometimes for terraria, etc!I wouldn’t say so, generally speaking. One thing I want to encourage more people to do is resize where their interests are coming from. I for one believe the term “special interest” is starting to become a bit outdated, as humanity leans more and more into the idea of specific interests and hobbies becoming the social norm. In other words, a “special interest” isn’t that much different from any other kind of interest these days.
Sometimes all you can do is try new things when the opportunity presents itself. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. Worst case scenario, you can still say you at least tried.
I get that this was most likely just a figure of speech, but the fact of the matter is, we all have our own neurodevelopmental background. Autism isn't something that is measured on a meter. It's referred to as a spectrum disorder for a reason- there's no one specific metric that determines "Oh, this kid is more autistic than that kid". The same principle goes for adults, even. Across the world, we're starting to see a gradual increase in neurodiverse employment not because of who we are or what we're labelled as, so much as what we bring to the table as potential workers or employees. Despite what the mainstream media may have you believe, an increasing number of employers, particularly in Western economies,okay! i was just worried i was like, "not autistic enough" or something, because my interests seem to fade in and out! sometimes im in the mood for pokemon, sometimes for terraria, etc!
very well said! and you were right the first time, i am a minor! and i know its not quantifiable like that, but sometimes i feel invalid and like, im not able to call myself autistic (even though, i very much am able, and should, because i am autistic.)I get that this was most likely just a figure of speech, but the fact of the matter is, we all have our own neurodevelopmental background. Autism isn't something that is measured on a meter. It's referred to as a spectrum disorder for a reason- there's no one specific metric that determines "Oh, this kid is more autistic than that kid". The same principle goes for adults, even. Across the world, we're starting to see a gradual increase in neurodiverse employment not because of who we are or what we're labelled as, so much as what we bring to the table as potential workers or employees. Despite what the mainstream media may have you believe, an increasing number of employers, particularly in Western economies,
I'd like to touch on a few other neurodevelopmental diagnoses while I'm still thinking about this fresh. Increased diagnostic rates bring to question the validity of commonly accepted diagnosis names, at least to me. Let's think of ADHD, for example. The official acronym is "Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder", but if I'm being completely honest with our neurotypical peers, do the actions of an increasing proportion of the population with ADHD warrant their labelling as a group that simply struggles to stay focused? ADHD exists on a wider array of thoughts and feelings that serve as both a benefit and a detriment to individuals. Most people that might have ADHD that I've met (it's not like I'm going to just pull them aside and ask) are very nice people who want the best for themselves and others.
Autism is probably the LEAST quantifiable thing in this world, which is funny considering a symptom of our soup is only seeing stuff in quantifiable measures.very well said! and you were right the first time, i am a minor! and i know its not quantifiable like that, but sometimes i feel invalid and like, im not able to call myself autistic (even though, i very much am able, and should, because i am autistic.)
yes lmaoAutism is probably the LEAST quantifiable thing in this world, which is funny considering a symptom of our soup is only seeing stuff in quantifiable measures.
maybe not quite what you're looking for but are you familiar with gumby? i had one of these as a kid and i remember it had a good "bending" quality if that makes sense lol. wish i still had him to fidget withoh yeah also while I'm here. looking for bendy things to hold in my hands, to help with focus and stuff. not sure exactly which objects to go for. if anyone has recommendations I'm all ears
I’m going to try and be careful with how I word what I’m about to say, since I don’t want anyone (especially yourself) to get the wrong idea. I’ve done the research on how skewed neurodivergent research is towards us guys, and likely due to my unfortunate lack of interactions with both sides, I can’t help but find neurodiversity in girls to be an incredibly fascinating discussion topic. Going forward, I actually wanted to focus more of my research for my (hopeful) future career on why all of the so-called “facts” about diagnoses like ADHD are so heavily biased by the male demographic.heiloh, I'm definitely late, but hi.
ADHD gal here, though it's very unpredictable which slightly aggravates me. What's the point of having this hyperfocus-creativity-thing if I can't slightly lean it toward my favor?
Used to be on meds in like, first to fifth grade because back then it was a major problem. To the school, anyway, I was a devious aggressive goblin. :P
Maybe the meds had long-term effects that suppressed the majority of it.
(Am I even allowed here at that point?)
Favor done, and, why would I blame you?I’m going to try and be careful with how I word what I’m about to say, since I don’t want anyone (especially yourself) to get the wrong idea. I’ve done the research on how skewed neurodivergent research is towards us guys, and likely due to my unfortunate lack of interactions with both sides, I can’t help but find neurodiversity in girls to be an incredibly fascinating discussion topic. Going forward, I actually wanted to focus more of my research for my (hopeful) future career on why all of the so-called “facts” about diagnoses like ADHD are so heavily biased by the male demographic.
In much more simple words, I think what I’m trying to say here is that I wish there was more readily available information about people in your shoes. Autism spectrum disorders and OCD are the two diagnoses I have the most understanding of, but there’s definitely far more than just those, and I really feel like we could help out each other here. I get to learn more about the neurodivergent population, and you would have another user to talk to if you had any questions.
Nice to meet you, and like I said, don’t be afraid to ask me any questions you might have. I’m sorry this post might seem… a bit odd, but you can blame the lack of research if you want.
Off-topic edit: Can any of you do me a favor? I want someone to either interact with this comment or reply to it. I’m just trying to see if there might be something wrong with my notifications. Thanks.
Thanks for the help. More importantly, I don’t want to judge you off of who you are genetically. If you want to identify as one or the other, you likely have a reason for doing so, and it’s my responsibility to respect whatever that reason is.Favor done, and, why would I blame you?
Plus, if it helps with your research, I am (unfortunately) genetically male.
Surpriiiiiiiise? I get a lil flag, I suppose.
Hey, I think it's nice that you brought up this topic. I think being rejection sensitive is pretty common in the neurodiversity community and the same goes for relationships.I'm not sure how much longer I was going to be able to avoid talking about this out of nervousness, but I guess it can't be helped. I was reminded of this upon replying to someone else's post just now elsewhere on the forums. I'm going to try and keep this brief if I can, which knowing me means this post could end up pretty long. What exactly is my question, you might wonder?
How can any of us tell if it's time for us to start being more social in the hopes of (eventually) forming a successful relationship? Despite my age, I have next to no interest in social media or texting, outside of the YouTube comment section and here on Smogon I suppose. The problem with being in my early 20s is that pretty much everyone at or near my age has at least been in a relationship before. And then there's me, who can count on one hand the amount of times I've ever had feelings for anyone period. You wanna know how many times? Only two. And one of those cases was because of an inside joke on our junior high soccer team involving a different school, so there went that idea.
I'm okay with waiting for whenever the right time may be. I'm okay with not having all the answers. But the one thing I just cannot handle is looking around and public and seeing all of my neurotypical peers in happy, loving relationships. My friends, my family, people at church, people at school, literally anywhere I go, I see people together like this. This isn't a matter of "I wish none of you were happy", because believe me, I love seeing other people happy like that. This is a matter of "will I ever be able to have something like this?".
What makes this even more complicated is that it's not even a relationship I technically want. I just want to have people to look after in my life. Being the youngest of three may sound like it has its perks, and while that may be true, no one else I've ever lived with is neurodiverse, and most of my friends from both high school and college have younger siblings too, while I'm stuck with only older ones. I suppose I can celebrate that I'll technically have my own nephew to look after here in four months, and while I'm extremely happy for my brother and his girlfriend's relationship being at its highest point ever, it does admittedly make me a bit jealous that my brother can have something like that and I may never have that chance.
All I've ever wanted is to return the favor. I've spent the first 20 years of my life being the one who's always receiving help and watching others be able to do things that I simply can't. What's so bad about the autistic kid (myself) wanting to be the same kind of help for other people (including that nephew once he's born) that my family and friends were for me. And when I'm reminded of the one chance I had in 2021 to talk to a friend more and maybe see where it goes. I'm just left here heartbroken, writing what's pretty much an essay at this point on a freaking social forum.
How can I tell if or when I have feelings for someone? How could I ever even try to assume if someone might have feelings for me in a similar way? Is this even a neurodiversity problem, or is it just a me problem? I've heard time and time again that many of us struggle to understand relationships, which is why I wanted to talk about this here. In conclusion, while I'm still okay with being patient, I'm not sure how much longer I can go without this impacting my daily routine and my mental health. Sorry this post was so long, and if you read this whole thing, that means a lot.
You shouldn't beat yourself up for having past gut reactions to your own diagnoses, being emotionally overwhelmed both internally and externally is totally understandable - I am a (somewhat) high-functioning autistic person and also have ADHD + permanent brain damage (frontal and temporal lobes), and for the longest time, I was unwilling to say that I was autistic due to my own internalized biases (quite a few of them baseless) about being on the spectrum. I also had the same reaction internally coming to terms with the fact that I'm bisexual and genderfluid due to my own internalized bias (quite a few of those also baseless). Accepting who you are will usually mean one thing - you're better equipped to research and study aspects of yourself, improving your quality of life. You'll feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders because of that self-acceptance, and eventually, you'll be able to utilize some functions of your mind that are unique to your diagnosis.a while ago now, i made this post. i mostly forgot about it, but it appeared in my alerts a few months ago. naturally, seeing a post of mine from over six years ago piqued my curiosity, so i decided to read what i had written back then. after reading over it a few times and spending a while intermittently mulling over its contents, i've come to the conclusion that my perception of things back then was really, really bad. i feel the need to acknowledge this.
my attitude as expressed in that post is very problematic. the mere thought that i might be an autistic person clearly shook me to the core back then. now, my dad was an awful human being who went to whatever lengths he could to control my behaviour and that of my immediate family members, and continually suggesting all the things i write about there was just one of them. this, specifically, was something that he did on a regular basis to undermine my confidence in social situations and keep me at home as much as possible. however, the fact that this worked at all, let alone to the extent that it did, is the core problem here. i let the idea that i could be anything other than what i considered "normal" at that time eat away at me for years. i even say almost word-for-word in that post that i considered it a relief when i learned that i could potentially not be neurodiverse. the most egregious part of this post, though, is probably the last paragraph. patent nonsense abounds, such as an expression that "this could all have been extremely bad luck" and lamentations about how i should have been forced to behave a certain way by my parents.
i think it goes without saying that this is an awful and discriminatory way of thinking. i spent so many years of my life pathologising being an autistic person as a stake through the heart of any hope i had at leading a fulfilling existence, which was simply not right. i'm really sorry that this was ever something that ran through my head, and i'm really sorry that this was how i perceived others and neurodiversity in general for so long.
Every meeting with my PhD advisor gives me insane anxiety because the criticism hurts so much. I know he does it because he cares, and I've found ways to deal with the anxiety, but holy shit it's still kinda painful. Not sure if I have a "strategy", but I just kind of remind myself that I haven't been kicked out or fired yet so...probably not doing THAT much wrong lmaoSomething piqued my interest recently about ADHD and neurodiversity in general is the presence of RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria in a lot of the people who have it's lives.
RSD is defined as " the extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others' expectations." This is a really good article and study about RSD in ADHDers specifically.
RSD coupled with neurodiversity can make daily life very challenging because it makes you feel alone and without a support system at times. Another thing about neurodiverse people is that they tend to gravitate towards one another because we can understand each other due to our similar brains and I feel like it's nice to support each other through RSD.
I would like to bring it up as a formal topic about you guys's experiences with RSD and how you have managed to move past it, deal with it, or are looking to deal with it. Thanks for the responses if you choose to do it!
Something piqued my interest recently about ADHD and neurodiversity in general is the presence of RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria in a lot of the people who have it's lives.
RSD is defined as " the extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others' expectations." This is a really good article and study about RSD in ADHDers specifically.
RSD coupled with neurodiversity can make daily life very challenging because it makes you feel alone and without a support system at times. Another thing about neurodiverse people is that they tend to gravitate towards one another because we can understand each other due to our similar brains and I feel like it's nice to support each other through RSD.
I would like to bring it up as a formal topic about you guys's experiences with RSD and how you have managed to move past it, deal with it, or are looking to deal with it. Thanks for the responses if you choose to do it!
Rejection-sensitive dysphoria isn’t really something I’ve heard that much about, but it seems interesting to look into. It’s nice that at least some information exists about this, because I don’t really have much experience with anything like this. As an autistic individual, I feel like I take criticism a bit more harsh than the average person, but what I find time and time again is that (most) neurodivergents are willing to be flexible and adaptive with professionals who are willing to put in the time and effort to understand the needs of their clients.Every meeting with my PhD advisor gives me insane anxiety because the criticism hurts so much. I know he does it because he cares, and I've found ways to deal with the anxiety, but holy shit it's still kinda painful. Not sure if I have a "strategy", but I just kind of remind myself that I haven't been kicked out or fired yet so...probably not doing THAT much wrong lmao