these r all rly great suggestions of active steps ppl can take to be better prepared to defend themselves in the event of a physical altercation - i carry pepper spray regularly, not just because I'm queer but mainly because I'm a woman - but i also think there's a lot of value in pointing out the many passive steps and behavioral changes that can help to avoid physical altercations altogether. I'm always surprised when i talk to younger queers and they don't already have a basic awareness of the great many small tips and tricks for women's self defense that could really save them a lot of trouble. the unfortunate reality is that this is a violent and sometimes hateful world, especially for women, queer people, and people of color, and the more of those you are, the more danger you're in.
don't walk alone at night if you can avoid it, especially in busy, urban areas, and if you can't avoid it, tell a trusted friend where you are going, when, and ask them to check up with you to make sure you got there safely. When you're out shopping or somewhere you've driven to, especially at night, try to park closer to the entrance, or near a security camera. when walking through parking lots or garages, or anywhere you may feel in danger, if you don't have a weapon available a car key can theoretically suffice, but be sure to aim for soft spots - there's one obvious one that works generally quite well - to avoid simply breaking your own hand. always lock your car, and also check the back seats of your car before you get in. be aware of strangers - especially of men - who may be following you or watching you a little too closely, and know where your exits are so that you can calmly make an escape if it is needed. Worried someone might be following you in a car? If you take four right turns in a row and they're still behind you, then you know they are. Worried someone might be following you on foot? Try to find a person or group of people who you would be safe with, and subtly and calmly indicate what is going on, or if that's not possible, you can always fake a phone call (or actually call a friend) so that the would-be assailant feels a little less unwitnessed. on the street, especially at night, never be afraid to cross to the other side to avoid walking past or through a group that might give you trouble, or an individual who seems suspicious. in a bar or other loud, crowded, indoor environment, watch your drink, and if you've gone alone, think about carrying an SOS note (an "angel drink") to pass to a bartender or other trustworthy stranger if you feel you might be in trouble. in general, especially for women, you're better off trusting other women when it comes to strangers - its an unfortunate reality of life, but most women will also know what to do if you need help. This may all seem like a lot to learn, remember, and do, but that's kind of my point - there's so much that you can do to avoid ever getting into trouble at all, before we need to start thinking about what weapons to have in the event of a fight, and after a while of doing these things actively, it sort of becomes like muscle memory anyway! You grow a dangersense with time.
stay safe out there! as said before, nobody wins in a knife fight.
