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lol dang you guys are lame, it's not like i wasn't invited to parties, trust me I'm a "cool" guy around my town, around here, I'm one of the kids getting the exclusive invites. Sound like a douchebag saying it I admit, but it's true and up to you to believe me. Just need that as backup for my point, but I am no douchebag in real life either. But I mean like going and saying someone else said you could go, and if anyone says shit, then shits going down, am I wrong? Just better to have backup with you, the best case backup would be in the form of someone who was invited and has had a few schoolyard scraps under their belt.
Anyway, I was just trying to get the fellow into a situation where he'd possibly grow some balls and man up, no offense. I used to be a coward too, would take insults like a little bitch, but I always had friends mind you. I was always cool to at least one person. Then I manned up, a kid insulted me taking it way too far, punched the fucker in the face. Since then, life has been different. Don't get me wrong, I still get nervous as you can get when in these situations, but I just handle the situation how I would. People will respect you more for doing things YOUR way. So they're right, don't take my advice.
The point is, although the delivery was not so spot on, it's up to you to make a change, all the advice in the world won't help. Do what you must to survive, but when you want to make something of yourself, (the big socialite, exclusive invite getter you want to be) then it is time to man up, as simple and as difficult as it is. If someone's going to call you a bitch because you play pokemon, you can be the bitch who plays pokemon or you can be the guy who beat the shit out of someone, or just make them look embarrassingly silly, for making fun of the fact that you play pokemon.
Anyways, what happened to the days when young boys didn't care and were free spirited and rebellious? Y'all are some pansies if you're going to tell the fellow to ignore advice that'll instantly get him into the parties he so much wants to attend. Am I right?
Good luck in your soul searching though, we all have these phases.
i had the same problem. my uncle gave me this piece of advice. since then i have had some friends in my school.
here's the deal: i changed school because i had too many problems with the old one, mainly with the teachers, and the other is because i had one too many fights lol (no srsly)
so my new school is really far away from my residence, like so far they can't provide transportations for me or my brother. i felt like shit for the first three days of school because i was stressed out. then when my father's friend agreed to pick us up to and from the school at a certain fee, i felt relieved. when my father left to KSA, i decided to come out of my shell, even if it were partial. i wore my Metallica t-shirt to school, and two guys came up to me and asked if i listened to metallica. i answered, who doesn't? one of them asked who was their drummer, i answered lars ulrich, and then they nodded their approval. now i feel like i've been with them for the past 13 years!! i felt like a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders. now everyone in my class has been calling me "Metalji" meaning "metalhead" in arabic, partially because i love metal, and partially because i share the last name with my cousin, who is in the same class with me, and mainly is because 3 other guys have the same first name as me!
wow, that came out bigger than i expected.
also, @OGsloane, stop lying, please. you're not supposed to show your poker face that early (lady gaga reference ftw)
I think this is a more appropriate way to fix it, no offense Fate yours was fine too, and did I mention the next day a couple of things might happen, a.) The kid you kicked in the balls completely mauls you b.) you get suspended and whatnot for kicking a kid in the balls c.) the kid and his friends kill you. From my point of view don't listen to this idiot.
Thanks for making the thread. I'm sure quite a few people feel the same way. I felt that same way when I was 14, now a few years later, everything has changed for the bette, once upon, I was a loner, and I didn't have any friends, you know how story goes.....I really wanted to the change that. Every day I did something to connect to more people, and eventually I was voted Prom King, and star quarterback by my the time I graduated HS. Just join school activity, reach out to people, and try to enjoy yourself! You will eventually become to more known to more people, and more opportunities will pop up.
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Its cool man, just put yourself out there.
I mean I can relate and since you moved you can make a new name for yourself.
I mean I can relate and since you moved you can make a new name for yourself.
No lies here. I said it was up to you to believe me, don't matter though. And eff lady gaga and her booboo music. No offense to your preference for music though.
Anyways, I just remembered the advice about wrestling some people gave. I've had a good experience with wrestling. People truly do respect you when you can defend your varsity spot against all comers and nab a couple of wins here and there. Especially focus on bringing home tournament medals. It is damn hard though, both mentally and physically, so don't go expecting any instant results.
i didn't mean to come off as a gagafanboy; i would die than become one.
what i meant was you don't need to try and come off as a badass on a forum, most people wouldn't believe you. heck i remember a user, archangel_94, who was a troll by saying he was a badass online.
what i meant was you don't need to try and come off as a badass on a forum, most people wouldn't believe you. heck i remember a user, archangel_94, who was a troll by saying he was a badass online.
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I don't believe you just for the fact that you put cool in quotation marks.
Yeah I understand, but it was for the sake of proving a point. If there was any other way, I would have done so. I'm really a modest person in real life. Proving the point that people will like you for you, as long as you can defend yourself and not be a coward.
Also, I wrap quotations around the word cool because I was referring to the OP's definition of "cool", as in being invited to the parties where all the other "cool" kids are. I'm pretty sure it's the proper way to use quotations. I have been working on my writing skills, so tell me if I am wrong. Anyways, I think it's a lot cooler to not care about where those kids are and what they are doing. That was a very funny post though, I lol'd. No sarcasm XD
Also, I wrap quotations around the word cool because I was referring to the OP's definition of "cool", as in being invited to the parties where all the other "cool" kids are. I'm pretty sure it's the proper way to use quotations. I have been working on my writing skills, so tell me if I am wrong. Anyways, I think it's a lot cooler to not care about where those kids are and what they are doing. That was a very funny post though, I lol'd. No sarcasm XD
If you aren't being invited to the parties, chances are, because of your presumed social awkwardness and 'geeky' interests, you wouldn't enjoy them.
IMHO, the key is finding the right people to be your friends. I have a bit personal experience of that, as I've been struggling to fit in after entering a completely new school environment (I've moved to England from Poland, which is obviously quite a big difference, mainly due to cultural differences and language barriers), and I've struggled for quite a bit of time. Despite being relatively known at school (mainly because of the novelty value of being Polish :P), I didn't really have anyone I could call a real friend, I mean, people there were pretty chill and all, but I never really had any close friends I'd go out with often or could confine in. I didn't really enjoy secondary school, and was quite depressed for most of it. It all really changed after entering Sixth Form, and, quite ironically, due to having to study more. Having less time to mess about and play football on the playground, I was forced to either use the study room or sit in the corridor in the sixth form block, both places which are filled with (as I've found out) interesting people, with who I've started chatting with. Now I can safely say my life is a lot better, and despite still having quite low self-esteem, I'm quite happy with where I am with life :)
tl;dr
Right friends can make all the difference.
IMHO, the key is finding the right people to be your friends. I have a bit personal experience of that, as I've been struggling to fit in after entering a completely new school environment (I've moved to England from Poland, which is obviously quite a big difference, mainly due to cultural differences and language barriers), and I've struggled for quite a bit of time. Despite being relatively known at school (mainly because of the novelty value of being Polish :P), I didn't really have anyone I could call a real friend, I mean, people there were pretty chill and all, but I never really had any close friends I'd go out with often or could confine in. I didn't really enjoy secondary school, and was quite depressed for most of it. It all really changed after entering Sixth Form, and, quite ironically, due to having to study more. Having less time to mess about and play football on the playground, I was forced to either use the study room or sit in the corridor in the sixth form block, both places which are filled with (as I've found out) interesting people, with who I've started chatting with. Now I can safely say my life is a lot better, and despite still having quite low self-esteem, I'm quite happy with where I am with life :)
tl;dr
Right friends can make all the difference.
Any team or individual sport will accomplish this, wrestling isn't for everyone. It's not that hard at a beginner level, it's more of a pushing match.
Just look for a girlfriend and good friends. Don't worry about parties etc...
I realized that my new goal right now is to just get into Thomas Jefferson. Then I feel I will be alright. Anyone have any advice on how I can get in?
Study hard, but take breaks occasionally.
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My advice is to do this. :P
Well not the actions, but trying out that type of attitude or guts can't hurt.
To be honest bro don't worry about it. That's what fucks you up. I've found out that when you worry about somethin, it's just gonna make you more stressed out than you need to be. Just study hard but make sure you have to time to watch tv and stuff like that, because studying for a high school should be your primary focus.
And as for your other concerns, all of the parties and girls comes with getting older. Now for getting friends, just act normal and people will realize that your a cool dude. Even when you feel nervous or something just push it aside and act cool about it while keeping a level head.
All that stuff comes with time so don't worry about it too much. ;)
And as for your other concerns, all of the parties and girls comes with getting older. Now for getting friends, just act normal and people will realize that your a cool dude. Even when you feel nervous or something just push it aside and act cool about it while keeping a level head.
All that stuff comes with time so don't worry about it too much. ;)
the best high school in America?? HAHAH, are you kidding me? I live in rural VA, and I used to debate in High school. Those guys are so soft (debate wise); ok here's a story.
At a debate there are typically 4 rounds (2 affirming the topic, 2 negating). After my first round where I tore into one of them, he went back and told his coach about his case's fallacy. Turns out the coach wrote the case for him, and TJH backed out after the first round. Since then, they've been the laughing stock of VA debates (and my coach gives/gave me full credit for that). Not my fault they weren't familiar with Locke's theory of tacit consent.
But seriously, I didn't start partying til I was almost 17, didn't have a girlfriend until I was 16. Don't worry about yourself, do what you like to do, be happy, have a jolly outlook on life, and the ladies will flock to you. I tell chicks all the time I play pokemon, and they don't think I'm weird, because I tell them in a way like "so what". I watched Avatar too, liked it, but still haven't seen the movie. Toy Story, I don't really watch it, but if you're about to tell someone about it, just say Rambo in place of Toy Story and Stallone in place of Buzz Lightyear. That sounds manly.
Also, partying is a tad over rated. If you go there alone and stick out like a sore thumb your wasting time. Go with friends, play some games, have a good time, and at the very least you had a good time. Also, if you want to make friends, join a High school club or team. People with similar interests and goals, easy way to make friends. Also, its best to avoid drinking, younger people tend to get into more fights, and drunk assholes are no fun.
HELL, and if none of that works, take up a martial art (I recommend Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there is also a good training Facility in Springfield from what I hear, but I can't remember the name, a bouncer I used to work out with told me about it.) But this will teach you discipline, give you work out buddies (who know what you go through in the gym, so you bond a LOT easier), and self-confidence (THE BIGGEST CHICK-MAGNET).
From experience, this is a great way to look cool if you can get your way, look like a tool if you overdo it, and (never happened to me) get the ass kicking of a lifetime if your bluff gets called and you can't fight. Although, doing ballsy things=great stories=more interesting person. If you do choose this route, always have a buddy with you in case things go bad. But this side does have its advantages and disadvantages. Besides, you'd definitely gain a partner in crime best friend.
AND DEFINITELY DON'T KICK THE WRESTLING CAPTAIN/COACH IN THE DICK!!
At a debate there are typically 4 rounds (2 affirming the topic, 2 negating). After my first round where I tore into one of them, he went back and told his coach about his case's fallacy. Turns out the coach wrote the case for him, and TJH backed out after the first round. Since then, they've been the laughing stock of VA debates (and my coach gives/gave me full credit for that). Not my fault they weren't familiar with Locke's theory of tacit consent.
But seriously, I didn't start partying til I was almost 17, didn't have a girlfriend until I was 16. Don't worry about yourself, do what you like to do, be happy, have a jolly outlook on life, and the ladies will flock to you. I tell chicks all the time I play pokemon, and they don't think I'm weird, because I tell them in a way like "so what". I watched Avatar too, liked it, but still haven't seen the movie. Toy Story, I don't really watch it, but if you're about to tell someone about it, just say Rambo in place of Toy Story and Stallone in place of Buzz Lightyear. That sounds manly.
Also, partying is a tad over rated. If you go there alone and stick out like a sore thumb your wasting time. Go with friends, play some games, have a good time, and at the very least you had a good time. Also, if you want to make friends, join a High school club or team. People with similar interests and goals, easy way to make friends. Also, its best to avoid drinking, younger people tend to get into more fights, and drunk assholes are no fun.
HELL, and if none of that works, take up a martial art (I recommend Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there is also a good training Facility in Springfield from what I hear, but I can't remember the name, a bouncer I used to work out with told me about it.) But this will teach you discipline, give you work out buddies (who know what you go through in the gym, so you bond a LOT easier), and self-confidence (THE BIGGEST CHICK-MAGNET).
[B said:
From experience, this is a great way to look cool if you can get your way, look like a tool if you overdo it, and (never happened to me) get the ass kicking of a lifetime if your bluff gets called and you can't fight. Although, doing ballsy things=great stories=more interesting person. If you do choose this route, always have a buddy with you in case things go bad. But this side does have its advantages and disadvantages. Besides, you'd definitely gain a partner in crime best friend.
AND DEFINITELY DON'T KICK THE WRESTLING CAPTAIN/COACH IN THE DICK!!
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(tl;dr I get carried away when posting advice)
So you said your goal is getting into this TJ High School. I assume you've seen what they're looking for (below for those who haven't), but honestly I don't know if you know what you're getting into. So this school is looking for the following attributes:
I'm a 17 year old male and a senior in high school. I have a similar problem, I'm on two varsity sports (this season), and have other commitments (National Honor Society to name one) so I really have no free time in the first place. But then I hop on Smogon/Facebook (I don't have quite as many favorite sites as you do) and I have trouble getting to my homework. I go to a run-of-the-mill public high school so the homework is easy and most is pretty quick, but I still have problems getting it done. I would hate to go to a school like TJ where (I'm assuming by that third bullet) the homework will not only be frequent but much more involved. If you want to have this social life you claim you do (parties/girlfriend) then I really think you should reconsider. Either your homework/studying will destroy your chance at a social life, your social life will destroy your chance of good grades, or your attempt at both will destroy both. Trust me, I'm currently the second one (I'm literally watching my shot at valedictorian slip away). I don't want to say don't go to this school, especially since you say it is your goal currently, but I just want to let you know that social life and rigorous education are difficult (but not impossible) to balance. If you go to this school you're probably going to need to make some sacrifices involving computer time and potential social life, and you have to be fully aware of that.
Back four years ago, I had the choice to go to a private high school instead of my local county public high school. My parents were strapped for cash but said if the better education really mattered to me, they would find a way to get me into the school. As previously mentioned, I chose the public school. I have never once even thought about regretting it, except for the first week or so of high school when I didn't know anybody. All the colleges I'm applying to (4 Big Ten, a couple of engineering, and an Ivy League thrown in for kicks and giggles) don't care that I went to a public school (except maybe the Ivy League, but idk) because in the end, it still taught me everything they want me to know. Think about that. If you really want to be a doctor, go for TJ so you can get into Harvard and cure cancer. But consider your other options.
Alright, now that I got that out of the way in like 3 long paragraphs, I'm gonna address your social life status in 1 paragraph (alright it was actually two if you count the list as a separate one).
I didn't have a girlfriend until my junior year of high school. Did I want one before then? Yeah, but apparently not enough to ask anybody. When I finally asked this girl out was it amazing to have a girlfriend? Eh, it's kinda cool but I can do without it. In terms of parties, somebody else said it; if you're not getting invited to them, you won't enjoy them. I've been to like four parties (and even these were toned down, no drinking/sex) and it's kinda awkward. The only reason you want to go to a party is so that you feel accepted, because you sure as heck don't want to go because you'll enjoy it. Trust me, if you're anything like I was your age (and you sound a lot like it) you will hate it more than you've ever hated anything in your life. But so that you can try it all for yourself, here's how to make friends and get a girl and go to parties:
So you said your goal is getting into this TJ High School. I assume you've seen what they're looking for (below for those who haven't), but honestly I don't know if you know what you're getting into. So this school is looking for the following attributes:
- High ability, aptitude, and interest in math, science, and technology.
- Intellectual curiosity and self-motivation to pursue scientific research.
- A desire to be challenged with an extensive curriculum focused in math, science, and technology.
- The highest academic and personal integrity.
- An aspiration to become a member of a community of learners, explorers, mentors, and leaders.
- The capability to become citizens and leaders of the 21st century.
I'm a 17 year old male and a senior in high school. I have a similar problem, I'm on two varsity sports (this season), and have other commitments (National Honor Society to name one) so I really have no free time in the first place. But then I hop on Smogon/Facebook (I don't have quite as many favorite sites as you do) and I have trouble getting to my homework. I go to a run-of-the-mill public high school so the homework is easy and most is pretty quick, but I still have problems getting it done. I would hate to go to a school like TJ where (I'm assuming by that third bullet) the homework will not only be frequent but much more involved. If you want to have this social life you claim you do (parties/girlfriend) then I really think you should reconsider. Either your homework/studying will destroy your chance at a social life, your social life will destroy your chance of good grades, or your attempt at both will destroy both. Trust me, I'm currently the second one (I'm literally watching my shot at valedictorian slip away). I don't want to say don't go to this school, especially since you say it is your goal currently, but I just want to let you know that social life and rigorous education are difficult (but not impossible) to balance. If you go to this school you're probably going to need to make some sacrifices involving computer time and potential social life, and you have to be fully aware of that.
Back four years ago, I had the choice to go to a private high school instead of my local county public high school. My parents were strapped for cash but said if the better education really mattered to me, they would find a way to get me into the school. As previously mentioned, I chose the public school. I have never once even thought about regretting it, except for the first week or so of high school when I didn't know anybody. All the colleges I'm applying to (4 Big Ten, a couple of engineering, and an Ivy League thrown in for kicks and giggles) don't care that I went to a public school (except maybe the Ivy League, but idk) because in the end, it still taught me everything they want me to know. Think about that. If you really want to be a doctor, go for TJ so you can get into Harvard and cure cancer. But consider your other options.
Alright, now that I got that out of the way in like 3 long paragraphs, I'm gonna address your social life status in 1 paragraph (alright it was actually two if you count the list as a separate one).
I didn't have a girlfriend until my junior year of high school. Did I want one before then? Yeah, but apparently not enough to ask anybody. When I finally asked this girl out was it amazing to have a girlfriend? Eh, it's kinda cool but I can do without it. In terms of parties, somebody else said it; if you're not getting invited to them, you won't enjoy them. I've been to like four parties (and even these were toned down, no drinking/sex) and it's kinda awkward. The only reason you want to go to a party is so that you feel accepted, because you sure as heck don't want to go because you'll enjoy it. Trust me, if you're anything like I was your age (and you sound a lot like it) you will hate it more than you've ever hated anything in your life. But so that you can try it all for yourself, here's how to make friends and get a girl and go to parties:
- Join a club or sport.
- Talk to other people in this club or sport.
- Once you've talked to them a bit outside of school, assume they are your friend. Say 'hi' in the halls. Ask questions during class (even if you're pretty sure of the answer). Help them during class (because I know you know the answer haha). Also try to make jokes. Humor is the best way to get people to like you (in my experience). But don't be so constant with any of this that they get annoyed.
- Try to work a few girls into the people you talk to. It's hard at first, but eventually you'll be fine.
- If you ever feel like you like one of these girls, ask if they want to get ice cream or go to a movie or [insert local hang out spot here]. No strings attached, just a date.
- If you enjoy yourself, say something like "we should do this again sometime." If she says "yeah we should" and continues to talk to you the next day, then you're on your way to her tongue down your throat. If she says "yeah..." and avoids you for the rest of the week, then try your luck with a different girl.
- If you've followed steps 1-6, you should be invited to a party or two maybe. But if you're not, don't sweat it. Parties suck.
If your not in high school yet, your too young to be caring about this stuff. Parties and dates aren't even that fun when your that young. So mature a bit now, and make some new friends, and if your addicted to the computer that much I suggest you take a break from shoddy and all your other interests.
lol, I just wanted to chip in and say that this isn't true at all. My friend, although not attending as school as rigorous as TJ, managed to avert all of this completely. She went to a pretty rigorous high school, had a demanding schedule, was involved in multiple activities and committed to a job, all while being a complete party girl. She graduated top 10 out of 500 people and is going to Duke now. I think that attending a good college out of TJ would be even easier, since they don't rank.
Anyways, OP, you just have to know what you want in life. High school really doesn't matter years from now, or even after you've graduated. Not going to TJ probably won't matter that much. Just worry on getting into college, that's all.