anybody move out at a young age/while in school?

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Feathers

Long story short, I'm pretty much at the point where living with my family is turning into a nightmare. I'm pretty positive I'm well beyond the "hormonal teen" stage and I've crossed over into "this is genuinely an unfair situation". I could elaborate but that could take hours. Skip to the last paragraph if tl;dr.

Like most rowdy kids between the ages of seventeen and twenty-one, I'd love nothing more than to move out. For anyone who's done this, how did that work for you? What was your situation like (education, financial, etc)?

Obviously I've had friends suggest that we all move out together, but to me that just sounds like a bad idea since we're all going to school, and anyone who has a job works only once or twice a week. It just doesn't sound possible, especially in the Vancouver area. But maybe it is? I can't tell if I'm just being an all-around downer or not.

As of right now I'm in the first year of a four year University degree, none of which I'm paying for (thank god) but this limits me to two working days a week and three school days, plus two days that are filled with part one of my problems (see: seven years of free babysitting for my parents). I'm not sure exactly how high minimum wage will get, but right now I'm making an okay $600 (sometimes $900)/month for 16 hours of work a week. Not bad when the only bill you worry about is your phone bill. Some of my money goes to feeding myself since my family lives on coke and fried foods and I can't stand eating like that, some goes to video games, and about $80/ month give or take goes to taking care of my four pet degus.

I've been thinking of trying to pinch pennies and try and make moving a possibility, preferably within the next two years, but I still don't see the light. I've already opted out of my family's many vacations to save money and I'm starting to sell a lot of crap I don't need, but I doubt that will help much. A friend of mine recently told me I was being difficult by wanting to keep my degus, and I was willing to give up two of them. And I fucking love my degus. That's how bad I want this.

So for anyone who just needed to get out, how did you do it? How did it work out? If you were going to school at the time, how did you deal with it? What were your expenses, unexpected or otherwise? In other news, my dad tells me my mother is thrilled to have me home for four more years while I go to school.
 
You need to think long and hard about it. My wife and I moved into a place together when we graduated high school because her mother was physically and emotionally abusive. I don't regret getting her out of that situation but four years later we're still working on finishing two years worth of community college and are FLAT BROKE.

If you can live at home and be supported by your parents do it as LONG as possible. Especially because a lot of kids are leaving college and not being able to find a job.
 
Wikey said:
You need to think long and hard about it. My wife and I moved into a place together when we graduated high school because her mother was physically and emotionally abusive. I don't regret getting her out of that situation but four years later we're still working on finishing two years worth of community college and are FLAT BROKE.

If you can live at home and be supported by your parents do it as LONG as possible. Especially because a lot of kids are leaving college and not being able to find a job.
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This was my main concern, since it seems like a rather common problem. I definitely know it's a good idea to stay home for as long as possible, but I guess it just isn't something I want to hear.

I'm trying to get into my chosen field as soon as I can, since whether I finish Uni or not is sort of irrelevant to me. I hopefully have an internship next summer... I suppose the sooner the better, profession-wise. Thanks for your two cents.

I got out of my cave a long time ago!
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Sounds like a good time.
 
I'm not really very familiar with the cost of living in USA and Canada, so pardon me if I make some terrible error.

Where I live, people usually don't move out till they get married. Obviously that's kind of absurd there, mainly due to cultural differences. But nevertheless, I'd suggest staying with your parents till you complete your education etc. because when you move out, you need to have spare cash for the initial stages. Keep saving for the four years is all I can say. Moving out during school time is a difficult affair.
 
I lived alone from 19 to 20 because my mother actually moved out (she met a new man and they moved in together, I didn't really want to move house so I just stayed on alone), I later lived with some friends when I was 21.

It's not too hard to do if you're willing to work hard and live on a tight budget (at least over here in Australia) but I would recommend you take a hard and serious look at your financial situation before doing so and work out what you can afford to spend on rent, how much you would spend on food/bills etc - always assume the worst if you don't know for sure in this kind of thing, if you don't have a comfortable margin in your favour you shouldn't move out unless you absolutely have to as you need to have some extra cash in the bank to cover emergencies (note that this means dire serious stuff, not "I need some entertainment" or whatever -- keep a thousand bucks spare if at all possible, if not more).

A positive you may not have considered is you now have 7 days you can work/study (I used to work weekends for extra money instead of working weekdays) - but do not assume or budget as though you will have extra income until you actually have it, I cannot stress this enough.

Seriously consider living with friends (as long as you can trust them to not send you batshit insane) because as a rule 3 people renting a small house is generally cheaper than one person renting a flat (or at least, that's how it is over here) as it cuts on a lot of flat fees (connection fees for your utilities, in some cases internet too though iirc Canada somehow manages to have shittier internet than Australia price/download limit wise).


Here are some things I'd recommend you investigate financially
- Rent prices in your area, see what you'll be looking at and if it would in fact be cheaper to live with friends.

- Utility prices (water, gas, electricity, phone, internet); as a rule if you move in with 2 friends you'll be up for about 1/3 of whatever your family pays for these things while on your own it'll be more like 1/2 (assuming you're part of a family of 4) note that Internet does not follow this rule due to download limits and the fact that you'll be living with guys your own age instead of your parents who probably use less internet - the more people the easier it gets for you though but remember that adding a 4th person to a house of 3 only takes away a small part of the problem (your monthly connection fee or whatever).

- Food prices; create a meal plan that you know can actually stick to and work out how much it would cost you.

- Transport costs (public transport or car, I recommend public transport where possible as it's cheap and easier to measure your expenditure).

- Mobile phone costs, I didn't have a mobile phone but I would strongly recommend you go with some kind of "I do not call you unless it's seriously urgent like someone might die or I might miss an exam" type deal as they tend to have lower monthly fees (or pre-paid), you're going to have to be super disciplined in this regard.

- Other costs; things like Shampoo and Soap are surprisingly pricey in my experience. I do not recommend having long hair while on a budget. Speaking of which, if you have a technical school or something nearby with a hairdressing course see if you can volunteer your hair for some practical experience for their students, if they fuck it up you can always ask them to give you a number 1 all over or something to "fix" it.. that or just live with having a bad haircut - as my dad says the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about 2 weeks.

- Find out if you can get more hours (and thus, more dollars) at work; do not budget for this though even if you have a verbal promise, do not rely on anything that isn't written down, signed, sealed and delivered. But enquire with your employer if it would be a possibility for you to pick up some weekend work - you NEED at least 1 day off a week though, so try and keep a day free (I used to work or study 6 days a week, it wasn't easy but I made money and got my studies done).


Here are some things I'd recommend you avoid
- Fast food (and eating out in general), it's expensive relative to how filling it is.

- Going out drinking; it's fucking expensive, one of the major good points of doing Saturday/Sunday work is you have pretty much the only foolproof reason for not going out drinking: you have work in the morning (and anyone who can't deal with that is not someone you should have as a friend).

- Places with an electric hot water service, they're fucking expensive to run. This is something my dad tipped me off about a couple of years ago.


Other shit that may be useful
- Be disciplined, if you have a budget then you must stick to it regardless of if you saved extra money last week; there is possibly going to be a time you need that money to cover some expenses.

- University books; I never needed them, but you might, consider this expense.

- Use common sense, don't spend money unless you need to.

- Home furnishings, at the least you need a bed and a desk for furniture, stuff to cook and eat with, a fridge (also a washing machine if possible as well as some method of drying clothes -- an outside line is usually pretty good), and if you're living with others you'll need to make sure that your group will have enough of the 'common items' for everyone (eating utensils, bowls/plates, pots/pans, etc) and probably a couch or two. I recommend checking with relatives (that you get on well with) to see if they have anything spare in this regard as it's fucking expensive, also check charity shops like Salvation Army stores or whatever your charity/donation run store(s) is/are. This also applies for clothes; second hand charity shops in wealthy areas often have good clothes with minor issues like a missing button for very little money and you can always sew a new button on.

- I recommend avoiding a shared food bill if you live with friends, especially if they have more money than you do; you need to stick to your budget and that's the end of it.

- Be on the lookout for a better job, if you see a job offering you 20 hours instead of 16, consider it - especially if the money is better per hour, everything counts when your income is limited.

- See if you can get any government assistance, if you can get an extra anything, even if it's 20 bucks a week it's worth having if you don't have to do anything for it.

- Butchers on Friday (if they close on weekends) can be a source of cheap meat but you need to actually ask what they have cheap or if anything is discounted - this is from heresy (I am vegetarian, but I know some of my uni mates did this, they also might have gone in on Monday as Tuesday is generally market day) - this also applies to markets, if you have something similar to the Queen Victoria Market going in not long before closing time (and haggling, but don't make a dick of yourself) with the butchers can also get you meat cheaply.

That's all I can think of for now.. I'll be back later if any more comes to mind.


Oh and one massive thing I forgot: work out your budget before moving out of home and make sure it's reasonable, hell, have it worked out before you even start looking for a new place.
 
Is it possible for you to ask your parents to start paying you for your babysitting? If you've done it every week for seven years for free, it certainly seems like a reasonable request. Explain that you're in a tight situation. It seems like your parents care about you, so I would think they would consider it.
Forgive me if you've already done this or I missed something, it's just an idea that jumped out at me.
 
Feathers said:
In other news, my dad tells me my mother is thrilled to have me home for four more years while I go to school.
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This threw a red flag for me. Why do you hate living with your family so much when they enjoy you being around? I guess I just don't know the full situation, but that's odd.
 
Feathers said:
As of right now I'm in the first year of a four year University degree, none of which I'm paying for (thank god)
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Second redflag, if your parents are paying for this you already have parents that do more for you then a good portion of other parents with kids your age.
 
TheValkyries said:
This threw a red flag for me. Why do you hate living with your family so much when they enjoy you being around? I guess I just don't know the full situation, but that's odd.
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It's sarcasm, sorry. They enjoy me being around because without me they'd have to pay for a babysitter, which they always remind me they can't afford. They like to go on cruises/vacations and that's what I'm for. In 2013 they want to go on a trip across Europe while I'm still in school and they see no problem with me taking care of my sister the whole time. Eh.

On another note, they aren't paying two cents for my schooling. I'm lucky if my mother takes me out for dinner and offers to pay. I have two sets of grandparents helping out, and I'm very thankful for that.

And thank you, Trax, that was exactly what I was looking for. Some of it I already knew but I'm pretty terrible at thinking of hidden expenses. And we do have a market like that actually, right next to my uni.

unless anyone else has their own experiences to share, then /thread
 
Well I moved out quite awhile ago from my caretakers. To be honest all I needed was a escape from the family and I did get one. I had money saved up for almost a year which pretty much bought me 2 weeks in a otel while I finished junior then I was out f a place to live. Decided after sleeping outside for sometime that my life was doing no where. So I walked almost 30 osmewhat miles to go live with a friend. Realizing how much the cost of living was I went and found a job into I could leave to boot camp.

After going and doing my thing looked back at my life for the amount of dumb shit I done. Yes most parents/caretakers are assholes but at least you have a roof over your head. Think wisely about what you doing cause sleeping in hallways and outside sucks.
 
If you can't handle the basic expenses of living, you should not even consider moving out. Even while I'm scholarship, I struggle with the meagre allowance the government gives me (and that's with boarding more or less paid for)
 
But my allowance IS shit. It pays for, like, two meals a day.

Edit: In retrospect, I really am ass at managing money. Fuck me, listen to advice from the grown-ups.
 
If you can't handle the basic expenses of living, you should not even consider moving out. Even while I'm scholarship, I struggle with the meagre allowance the government gives me (and that's with boarding more or less paid for)
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It's not necessarily that I can't handle the expenses, it's that I don't think I'm fully aware of everything I need to consider. If I work five days in the summer I can make an asston of money.

Well I moved out quite awhile ago from my caretakers. To be honest all I needed was a escape from the family and I did get one. I had money saved up for almost a year which pretty much bought me 2 weeks in a otel while I finished junior then I was out f a place to live. Decided after sleeping outside for sometime that my life was doing no where. So I walked almost 30 osmewhat miles to go live with a friend. Realizing how much the cost of living was I went and found a job into I could leave to boot camp.

After going and doing my thing looked back at my life for the amount of dumb shit I done. Yes most parents/caretakers are assholes but at least you have a roof over your head. Think wisely about what you doing cause sleeping in hallways and outside sucks.
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Sounds like rough time. ):

This is the sort of thing I want to stay away from, you know? I want to have a plan that won't backfire and leave me crawling back to my parents' house. I hope you're better off now, at least.
 
Feathers said:
It's not necessarily that I can't handle the expenses, it's that I don't think I'm fully aware of everything I need to consider. If I work five days in the summer I can make an asston of money.



Sounds like rough time. ):

This is the sort of thing I want to stay away from, you know? I want to have a plan that won't backfire and leave me crawling back to my parents' house. I hope you're better off now, at least.
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Yeah things looked up before I left to boot I got married. All in all if your planning on living on your own make sure you have at least a place to go back to and dont burn any bridges when you leave.
 
Box said:
But my allowance IS shit. It pays for, like, two meals a day.

Edit: In retrospect, I really am ass at managing money. Fuck me, listen to advice from the grown-ups.
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Potato and onion soup. And porridge for breakfast.
 
Unless your current guardians are physically abusive, I would seriously recommend staying with them, regardless of how mean (verbally / emotionally) they are to you, or how much you can't stand their personal philosophies, or whatever.

I know the op probably doesn't want to hear this, but it is seriously economically intelligent to wait as long as possible before going indepedent; paying rent / utilities / food / misc. just siphons away funds like no other.

Basically, unless your guardians are physically (especially sexually) abusing you, stay with them.
 
Unless your current guardians are physically abusive, I would seriously recommend staying with them, regardless of how mean (verbally / emotionally) they are to you, or how much you can't stand their personal philosophies, or whatever.

I know the op probably doesn't want to hear this, but it is seriously economically intelligent to wait as long as possible before going indepedent; paying rent / utilities / food / misc. just siphons away funds like no other.

Basically, unless your guardians are physically (especially sexually) abusing you, stay with them.
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Yeah, this is pretty much what I have going on in the back of my mind. Like, no matter how much I want it, it still isn't a good idea right now. I think it's easier to hear from someone else besides my thoughts. I suppose the best course of action for me is to hold it out, or hope I win the lottery.
 
Hipmonlee said:
Potato and onion soup. And porridge for breakfast.
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I don't have time to make my own breakfast, I always have to either eat at school or buy something on the way to school. Unless of course I wake up at 5am daily.

My diet consists of takeaway and instant noodles.
 
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