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Chien Pao Chien-Pao appreciates Mandibuzz defogging away hazards using Defog to prevent it from being worn down by entry hazards. It can also bring Chien Pao Chien-Pao in safely using a slow U-turn. Mandibuzz is a great switch in to Fighting Fighting-type attacks from enemies like Choice Scarf Sneasler and Choice Scarf Great Tusk, (AC) which Chien Pao Chien-Pao is extremely vulnerable to, as well as being capable of checking set up setup sweepers like Azumarill or and Scizor with Foul Play. In return, Chien-Pao deals with opponents foes like Sandy Shocks or and Baxcalibur who that can cause problems for Mandibuzz. Kingambit has impressive offensive synergy with Chien Pao Chien-Pao due to its neutrality to Fairy-type Fairy, being able to eliminate opponents foes like Hatterene with Iron Head (RC) and Choice Scarf Flutter Mane with Sucker Punch after rocks damage from Stealth Rock. In return, (AC) Chien-Pao Chien Pao hits threats to Kingambit like DD Dragon Dance Dragonite, Iron Treads, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T, (AC) and defensive Gliscor.
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Welcome to Smogon! Take a moment to read the Introduction to Smogon for a run-down on everything Smogon, and make sure you take some time to read the global rules.
Grammar-Prose Workshop v6
- Thread starter autumn
- Start date
waffledogefern
Very few comments here - this is really great work!
Use "switch-in", plural "switch-ins" when referring to a Pokemon that often switches in on another (Scizor is a common switch-in to Latias).
Here, this should be switch-in with a hyphen because it's being used as a noun.
Use "switch-in", plural "switch-ins" when referring to a Pokemon that often switches in on another (Scizor is a common switch-in to Latias).
- Do not use a hyphen when using "switch in" as a verb (Gyarados can switch in on Mamoswine) or as a noun, plural "switches in", referring to the act of switching in (Tornadus-T loses to Keldeo if it takes an Icy Wind on the switch in).
This is all greally great! As a quick note, it's fine to just say 'after Stealth Rock' / 'after Stealth Rock damage' as alternative correct ways to fix that last part
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Black Glasses +tera dark Tera Dark should exclusively be is commonly used with Kowtow Cleave as these it propels Kingambit's offensive pressure;. With 5 five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing OHKO Walking-Wake Walking Wake with Sucker Punch, as well as Multiscale Dragonite after a Swords Dance boost and at +2 Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch. Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setup on would be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusks, become a sturdy switch in switch-in to offense offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it Kingambit, and gain an immunity to Spikes that limits Kingambit's longevity before it gets going. Kingambit's late-game potential and defensive utility in the late game make it a nearly staple on offensive archetypes from Bulky to Hyper Offense bulky offense to hyper offense, while still fitting on Balance balance. Physically offensive teammates like Ogerpon-Wellspring Ogerpon-W, Zamazenta-H, and Swords Dance Iron Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like such as Zanazenta Zamazenta-H, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T, and Dondozo. Dark Type Dark-type offensive threats in Darkrai, and Samurott-Hisui Samurott-H can form a Darkspam core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resists Dark-resistant Pokemon like Zamazenta-H and tera Tera Fairy users like Gholdemgo Gholdengo and Moltres together.
What's with the AC RC stuff I see others doing btw
Black Glasses +
What's with the AC RC stuff I see others doing btw
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Weavile is a staple on Ice - teams thanks to its incredible speed tierattack Attack. Knock Off denies passive recovery on opponents foes like Corviknight or Dondozo by removing their Leftovers. and itopponents Pokemon (just trying to prevent repetition) like Great Tusk and Skarmory by Knocking Off their Rocky Helmet. At +2 Triple Axel secures the OHKO on OHKOs foes like the Ogerpon forms formes, Kyurem, Walking Wake, Ceruledge, and Goodra-Hisui. Furthermore, it is it's able to check Defensive defensive Great Tusk, Iron Treads, and Non Scarf Gholdengo Gholdengo without Choice Scarf, who can prove to be formidable foes for Ice Type teams. Ice Shard serves as a reliable countermeasure against faster foes like Choice Scarf Enamorus, Landorus-I, and Roaring Moon. At +2, it is it’s also able to OHKO Dragapult, while also OHKOing and Garchomp without making contact, which avoids avoiding chip from its Garchomp's Rough Skin.
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igiveuponaname
2: "would-be checks" needs a hyphen because it's a compound adjective (2 words to work as an adjective for a word) you can read more here https://www.grammarly.com/blog/parts-of-speech/compound-adjectives/
3: The plural of a Pokemon is identical to the singular of that Pokemon. One Blissey, two Blissey. Never two Blisseys. You could do: "and most Great Tusk sets" for that 1st sentence
4: "who" is never used in analyses. replace with that / which as necessary -- "that" would be correct here. On the contrary, "Spikes that limit Kingambit's longevity" needs a "which" instead of "that"; also, "Spikes" and other pokemon terms (Leftovers) are singular, so you needed to keep it as "Spikes, which limits Kingambit's longevity"
5: you can see one list within another here. "offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite"
To avoid confusion and improve readability when we have lists within lists, you can replace the commas in the original list with semicolons, like so:
If "while" means "whereas", then it needs a comma, but if it means "at the same time", no comma is needed.
Zamazenta-H is the base forme so no need for -H. only add it if referring to the crowned forme (Zamazenta-C)
No need to swap like => such as here
"Darkspam" core is not a coined term. You can edit it to "Dark-type spam core"
overall not bad at all! I think you could benefit a lot from having the Spelling and Grammar standards open on the side or by taking a look it (re: forme names, Pokegrammar)
btw, AC means add comma, RC remove comma, AP period, ASC semicolon. it greatly helps with visibility for the writers
When "as" is used to mean "because", there should be a comma before it. Also, "should be exclusively used ..." is fine as-is. make sure not to change any content within analyses unless it interferes with the readability. you could also leave a comment for the writer with a suggestion.
1: When we use "setup" as a verb, it should be "set up".
2: "would-be checks" needs a hyphen because it's a compound adjective (2 words to work as an adjective for a word) you can read more here https://www.grammarly.com/blog/parts-of-speech/compound-adjectives/
3: The plural of a Pokemon is identical to the singular of that Pokemon. One Blissey, two Blissey. Never two Blisseys. You could do: "and most Great Tusk sets" for that 1st sentence
4: "who" is never used in analyses. replace with that / which as necessary -- "that" would be correct here. On the contrary, "Spikes that limit Kingambit's longevity" needs a "which" instead of "that"; also, "Spikes" and other pokemon terms (Leftovers) are singular, so you needed to keep it as "Spikes, which limits Kingambit's longevity"
5: you can see one list within another here. "offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite"
To avoid confusion and improve readability when we have lists within lists, you can replace the commas in the original list with semicolons, like so:
Removing "nearly" changed the meaning behind the sentence here. from almost always being a staple, to always being a staple. that counts as a qc change, so you could instead reword to "nearly make it"
If "while" means "whereas", then it needs a comma, but if it means "at the same time", no comma is needed.
Physical teammates is fine
Zamazenta-H is the base forme so no need for -H. only add it if referring to the crowned forme (Zamazenta-C)
No need to swap like => such as here
The correct way to refer to Hisui/Galar/Alolan mons is "Hisuian Samurott"
"Darkspam" core is not a coined term. You can edit it to "Dark-type spam core"
overall not bad at all! I think you could benefit a lot from having the Spelling and Grammar standards open on the side or by taking a look it (re: forme names, Pokegrammar)
btw, AC means add comma, RC remove comma, AP period, ASC semicolon. it greatly helps with visibility for the writers
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Slither-Wing Slither Wing is a niche defensive pivot which uses it's its interesting type typing, serviceable bulk, (AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers like Great Tusk, Breloom, (AC) or and Kingambit. U-Turn U-turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing's Slither Wing's team against mons Pokemon such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge, (AC) and it importantly allows Slither-Wing Slither Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle. Close Combat OHKOs OHKOes Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs 2HKOes Miraidon, (AC) which Body Press cannot do. Will-o-Wisp's Burn Will-O-Wisp's burn stops the Pokemon Slither-Wing Slither Wing checks from using it as set up setup fodder, it also punishes opponents foes such as Toxapex or and Corviknight for switching in. Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health (dex info) provides Slither Wing with reliable recovery, helping it to consistently switch into Great Tusk. (<- Actually isn't this sentence just repeating info from earlier, and could reasonably be cut?) Tera Water provides a resistance to Fire type Fire-type attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu, and Water type Water-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin Palafin-H (I'd imagine it's safe to assume it means hero forme here), (AC) allowing for a last ditch last-ditch counterattack. 168 speed Speed EVs out speed let Slither Wing outspeed adamant Adamant Breloom, (AC) and the rest are dumped into physical bulk.
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Conflux123
- "Goodra-Hisui" is incorrect. You should refer to the Hisuian forme of a Pokemon as "Hisuian [Pokemon]," so "Hisuian Goodra."
- For Gholdengo, it is better to change it to "non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo" there to preserve the author's voice. Your change wasn't grammatically incorrect, though.
- You should never refer to a Pokemon using the pronoun "who." For this specific sentence, use "which" instead.
- You can infer that this is a Monotype analysis from the first sentence, so the proper convention would be "Ice teams." Even if you didn't make that assumption, the proper formatting would be "Ice-type," not "Ice Type"
- "which avoids" was fine as-is; you also did not need to change it to "avoiding"
- "chip" is an adjective. You should change it to "chip damage"
- I like the change to Garchomp at the end; given the changes you made earlier that was a nice fix.
- "Speed tier" is fine (with that capitalization)
- Move names are nouns, so you want to avoid using them as verbs a la "Knocking Off." "removing their Rocky Helmet with Knock Off" is better.
- A comma is needed after +2 because "At +2" is an introductory phrase.
- "Goodra-Hisui" is incorrect. You should refer to the Hisuian forme of a Pokemon as "Hisuian [Pokemon]," so "Hisuian Goodra."
- You did not need to contract "it is" to "it's"
- For Gholdengo, it is better to change it to "non-Choice Scarf Gholdengo" there to preserve the author's voice. Your change wasn't grammatically incorrect, though.
- You should never refer to a Pokemon using the pronoun "who." For this specific sentence, use "which" instead.
- You can infer that this is a Monotype analysis from the first sentence, so the proper convention would be "Ice teams." Even if you didn't make that assumption, the proper formatting would be "Ice-type," not "Ice Type"
- Good!
- Again, you did not need to change "it is" to "it's" here.
- "which avoids" was fine as-is; you also did not need to change it to "avoiding"
- "chip" is an adjective. You should change it to "chip damage"
- I like the change to Garchomp at the end; given the changes you made earlier that was a nice fix.
igiveuponaname
The 'which' here should be a 'that'. These words aren't interchangeable, and 'which' clauses should have commas before them whereas 'that' doesn't.
- 'Which' is non-restrictive/non-essential, which means that the additional 'which' clause is not needed for the sentence to keep its meaning; it can be treated as an aside clause where the sentence makes sense and keeps its meaning without it
- 'That' is restrictive/essential, so the part of the sentence after 'that' is needed for the meaning. In this case, the part of the sentence after it is needd to explain the niche.
Note that you can't have a 'which' clause without a comma, so if the comma doesn't work, you might be wanting 'that' instead like here.
You can find a more in-depth summary with examples on the beginner notes doc and here online.
In this case, the clause after is just 'and Water-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin'. which doesn't work as a standalone - it depends on the rest of the sentence for its meaning.
There should also be a comma before 'allowing' here; you're using the (verb)ing structure to start a new dependent aside clause, so it should be separated from the main clause by a comma.
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This is great work and a great imporvement, keep it up!
Also as a note, for the strikethroughs, if you add the colour before the strikethrough then you don't get the white line. Adding the strikethrough before the colour gives you the lines. Not sure if you saw my tag in amchannel in the GP server about the tool as well, but if you check the pins there you can find information about a tool that auto formats checks if that's easier for you
A lot of great changes here!
The 'which' here should be a 'that'. These words aren't interchangeable, and 'which' clauses should have commas before them whereas 'that' doesn't.
- 'Which' is non-restrictive/non-essential, which means that the additional 'which' clause is not needed for the sentence to keep its meaning; it can be treated as an aside clause where the sentence makes sense and keeps its meaning without it
- 'That' is restrictive/essential, so the part of the sentence after 'that' is needed for the meaning. In this case, the part of the sentence after it is needd to explain the niche.
Note that you can't have a 'which' clause without a comma, so if the comma doesn't work, you might be wanting 'that' instead like here.
You can find a more in-depth summary with examples on the beginner notes doc and here online.
Good change on the dex info! I would be cautious of adding in new wording though because it hasn't been writer/QC approved, so just making the cut and saying 'Morning Sun helps it to consistently...' is all you need. That comment is fair, and I like the way you approach it because as GO, we don't want to outright remove content, so leaving a comment to the writer is always a good middle ground when something content-wise isn't right, but it's out of our scope.
The comma before 'and Water-type attacks' isn't correct. Commas before 'and' 'but' 'or' are only needed if the clause that comes after it is independent (meaning it’s a grammatically correct sentence without depending on the other part to make sense). If it isn’t independent, the comma is not needed.
In this case, the clause after is just 'and Water-type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin'. which doesn't work as a standalone - it depends on the rest of the sentence for its meaning.
There should also be a comma before 'allowing' here; you're using the (verb)ing structure to start a new dependent aside clause, so it should be separated from the main clause by a comma.
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This is great work and a great imporvement, keep it up!
Also as a note, for the strikethroughs, if you add the colour before the strikethrough then you don't get the white line. Adding the strikethrough before the colour gives you the lines. Not sure if you saw my tag in amchannel in the GP server about the tool as well, but if you check the pins there you can find information about a tool that auto formats checks if that's easier for you
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One ofBrelooms Breloom's main struggles when trying to wall break wallbreak is getting past Poison Types Poison-types like Vileplume, Dragalge, (AC) and Slowbro-Galar Galarian Slowbro, so Psychic Psychic- and Ground-types like Munkidori, Uxie, or and Flygon are greatly appreciated. The former two as well as Kilowattrel and Dragalge excel at Pivoting pivoting Breloom in on Dark Dark- and Steel-types like Alolan Muk, Klefki, and Registeel or Muk-Alola with their U-Turn U-turn and Flip Turn. Articuno-G Galarian Articuno is an exceptionally good partner, (AC) as on top of providing U-Turn U-turn support, (AC) it can use Future Sight to limit Breloom's switchins switch-ins even further, (RC) and abuse take advantage of Vileplume's Strength Sap with its Competitive ability. In a similar vein, pivot partners pivots such as Mienshao, Incineroar, Inteleon, (AC) and the aforementioned Flygon make good partners, (AC) since they commonly draw in Water types Water-types like Vaporeon, Milotic, Gastrodon, (AC) or and Swampert, (RC) for Breloom to abuse threaten. Teammates Pokemon (repetition with 'decent teammates' and this felt like a more natural change) like Incineroar, A-Muk Alolan Muk, and Bronzong, (RC) also make for decent teammates, handling the Psychic Psychic- and Fairy-types, (RC) like Uxie, Munkidori, Whimsicott, (AC) or and Sylveon, (AC) who which force Breloom out.
One of
this check is great—you caught all of the objective and subjective errors in this exercise!
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Thanks to Tidy Up, (AC) Cinccino is the main enabler of Hyper Offense hyper offense teams, letting them run many powerful hazard weak Pokemon Pokemon that are weak to entry hazards such as Oricorio-Pa'u Oricorio-P, Arcanine, and Ninetales-Alola Alolan Ninetales. Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall. Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall, as well as Ghost-types like Chandelure. (Rearranging sentence structure to improve clarity) Encore allows Cincinno Cinccino to capitalize on passive foes that setup hazards, boost their stats, or heal up such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon. Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong,; (replace comma with semicolon) however, (AC) Fires and Fightings Fire- and Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well. Grassy terrain Grassy Terrain teams also heavily benefit from Cinccinos Cinccino's presence, since it lets Oricorio forms formes, Grafaiai, and Arcanine switch-in switch in without having to take chip damage from hazards.
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Choice Specs Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S is an excellent breaker who independantly wallbreaker that independently breaks through most of its usual switch ins with accurate prediction switch-ins. Grass Knot kills OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground in one hit after after entry hazard damage (RP) Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu. Grass Knot pressures and 2HKOes Ting-Lu while pressuring neutral targets like Arceus-Normal Arceus as well. Psychic 2HKOes Arceus-Normal Arceus, (AC) but Psyshock is an alternative STAB move that 2HKOs 2HKOes offensive Ho Oh Ho-Oh and hits Pokémon Pokemon such as Blissey. (what kind of pokemon? defensive?) Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's Calyrex-S's checks like Ho Oh Ho-Oh, Ting Lu Ting-Lu, and Arceus by removing the longevity their Item items grant them and forcing them to attack. Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu with less chip damage and 2HKOs Ho Oh 2HKOes Ho-Oh and defensive Arceus forms after Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S loses its Choice Specs. Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a good chance of scoring a to OHKO on Ting Lu Ting-Lu after hazard damage (RC) and lets it 2HKO Arceus. Tera Normal turns Calyrex-Shadow into gives Calyrex-S a Ghost immunity, preventing revenging attempts from opposing Calyrex-Shadows Calyrex-S. All 3 Tera types also allow you it to survive attacks like Ting Lu's Ting-Lu's Payback and Arceus' Arceus's Shadow Claw, though the latter 2 types make it vulnerable to Extreme Killer Arceus' ESpeed Arceus's Extreme Speed.
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EthanLac 
good work on the error catching, but the original "hazard weak" could've been "entry hazard-weak" to avoid changing stuff unnecessarily. As gpers, we try to reword stuff by changing as little as possible.
the original sentence was fine in terms of clarity, just needed Ghost-Types to be fixed.
no need to remove the part in the middle (though, setup would be set up here, since set up is the verb form)
really great job on the fixes here!!
waffledogefern
Good changes on the Grass Knot part combining those sentences!
For the 'revenging' part, this should be 'revenge killing' - this is also the one exception to the don't say kill rule.
You also don't need to add in that 'types' after 'latter two'; the start of the sentence has already established the subject as the Tera types, so it's not unclear what the latter two refers to. This addition also makes it a bit more repetitive.
Be careful of removing content here; as GP, we don't ever want to change what's being said / what that teams. Removing the prediction part alters that meaning a bit because the writer chose to emphasise that it relies on prediction, so it's not our call to say it's unimportant.
Good changes on the Grass Knot part combining those sentences!
Pokemon 'formes', not forms.
Good change on the immunity part!
For the 'revenging' part, this should be 'revenge killing' - this is also the one exception to the don't say kill rule.
The 3 and 2 here should be written out because small numbers should be written out if they're not stats / EVs.
You also don't need to add in that 'types' after 'latter two'; the start of the sentence has already established the subject as the Tera types, so it's not unclear what the latter two refers to. This addition also makes it a bit more repetitive.
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Slither-Wing Slither Wing is a niche defensive pivot which uses it's its interesting type typing, serviceable bulk, (AC) and reliable recovery in Morning Sun to check attackers like Great Tusk, Breloom, (AC) and or Kingambit. U-Turn generates momentum for Slither-Wing's team against mons pokemon such as Flutter Mane and Skeledirge and it importantly allows Slither-Wing Slither Wing to avoid being trapped by Gothitelle. Close Combat OHKOs OHKOes Iron Bundle and Chi-Yu and 2HKOs 2HKOes Miraidon, (AC) which Body Press cannot do. Will-o-Wisp's burn stops the pokemon Slither-Wing checks from using it as set up fodder (RC) it also and punishes opponents foes, (AC) such as Toxapex or and Corviknight, (AC) for switching in. Morning Sun heals Slither-Wing for 50% of its health, helping it helps Slither Wing to consistently switch into Great Tusk. Tera Water provides a resistance to Fire type attacks from Koraidon and Chi-Yu, and Water type attacks from Iron Bundle and Palafin, (AC) allowing for a last ditch counterattack. 168 Speed EVs out speed allow Slither Wing to outspeed adamant Breloom, (AC) and the rest are dumped into physical bulk.
Ember Celica 
you can find more info here: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/grammar/which-vs-that/
also, if it was which, it would need a comma before it
good change on mons => pokemon, but Pokemon is the way to write it
interesting way to go about removing "it". another way was to add a comma before "and" because the next clause is independent
Pokemon is the correct way to write it
you caught it above, but Slither Wing has no hyphen
good work on fixing the comma splice! (it also => and) alternative ways would be turning the comma into a semicolon (separating two independent clauses) or doing ", and it also"
no need to add commas around "Toxapex and Corviknight"
the comma after Chi-Yu shouldn't be there
"last ditch counterattack" right here, "last ditch" consists of two words working together to modify the noun "counterattack". this is called a compound adjective, and it needs a hyphen to connect the two words like so: last-ditch counterattack. you can read here for more info: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/parts-of-speech/compound-adjectives/
which should be that here. this is because we're talking about one specific defensive pivot and not just any pivot (so it's a restrictive clause)
you can find more info here: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/grammar/which-vs-that/
also, if it was which, it would need a comma before it
the T in U-turn is lowercase
good change on mons => pokemon, but Pokemon is the way to write it
interesting way to go about removing "it". another way was to add a comma before "and" because the next clause is independent
great!
Will-O-Wisp has an uppercase O
Pokemon is the correct way to write it
you caught it above, but Slither Wing has no hyphen
good work on fixing the comma splice! (it also => and) alternative ways would be turning the comma into a semicolon (separating two independent clauses) or doing ", and it also"
no need to add commas around "Toxapex and Corviknight"
really good!
Fire-type and Water-type always need to be hyphenated
the comma after Chi-Yu shouldn't be there
"last ditch counterattack" right here, "last ditch" consists of two words working together to modify the noun "counterattack". this is called a compound adjective, and it needs a hyphen to connect the two words like so: last-ditch counterattack. you can read here for more info: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/parts-of-speech/compound-adjectives/
awesome fixes once again!
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Black Glasses + Tera Dark should exclusively be used with Kowtow Cleave as these propel to enhance Kingambit's offensive pressure; with 5 five Supreme Overlord boosts, Kingambit can reach feats like 2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave and 1HKOing Walking-Wake OHKOing Walking Wake and, (AC) at +2, (AC) Dragonite through Multiscale with Sucker Punch. Air Balloon allows Kingambit to setup set up on would be would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusks Tusk sets, become a sturdy switch in switch-in to offense offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it, and gain an immunity to Spikes, (AC) that limits which otherwise limit Kingambit before it gets going. Kingambits Kingambit's potential and defensive utility in the late game late-game make it a nearly staple near-staple on offensive archetypes from bulky to hyper offense, (AC) while still fitting on balance. Physical Physically offensive teammates like Ogerpon-Wellspring Ogerpon-W, Zamazenta, and Swords Dance Iron Valiant can overwhelm shared checks like Zanazenta Zamazenta, Landorus-Therian Landorus-T, and Dondozo. Dark Type Dark-type offensive threat in threats like Darkrai (RC) and Samurott-Hisui Hisuian Samurott can form a Darkspam Dark-type spam core with Kingambit to overwhelm Dark resists Dark-resistant foes like Zamazenta and Tera Fairy users like Gholdemgo Gholdengo and Moltres together.
EthanLac
If a list has comas in the list items itself like this, you can make it a semicolon list. You can use semicolons to separate the main list items while keeping the commas inside the list items there.
'Air Balloon allows Kingambit to set up on would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusk sets; become a sturdy switch-in to offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it; and gain an immunity to Spikes, which otherwise limit Kingambit before it gets going.'
For some other notes here:
As a tip, while also / while (verb)ing cannot mean whereas or show contrast, so you don't want a comma before those (unless closing another clause).
Great work here!
The structure of this sentence after the semicolon, while grammatically correct, reads as 'this and this and this', which gets into the hard to follow writing territory. What you can do is use 'as well as' to separate multiple lists, so '2HKOing Dondozo with Kowtow Cleave as well as OHKOing Walking Wake and, and +2, Dragonite'.
Good change on would-be here!
If a list has comas in the list items itself like this, you can make it a semicolon list. You can use semicolons to separate the main list items while keeping the commas inside the list items there.
'Air Balloon allows Kingambit to set up on would-be checks in Landorus-T and most Great Tusk sets; become a sturdy switch-in to offensive threats like Kyurem, Roaring Moon, and Dragonite who rely on their Ground-type coverage to hit it; and gain an immunity to Spikes, which otherwise limit Kingambit before it gets going.'
For some other notes here:
- 'Who' shouldn't be used to refer to a Pokemon because they're not people. You can either use 'which' or 'that'
- Spikes is still a singular move unless you're talking about a specific number of layers, so limits is fine. This is the same reason as you'd say 'Choice Specs provides'
Commas before 'while' are needed when it means 'whereas' / is showing contrast. If 'while' is used to mean 'at the same time as', then a comma isn't needed.
As a tip, while also / while (verb)ing cannot mean whereas or show contrast, so you don't want a comma before those (unless closing another clause).
Great work here!
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Choice Specs Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S is an excellent breaker who independantly wallbreaker that independently breaks through most of its usual switch ins switch-ins with accurate prediction. Grass Knot kills OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground in one hit after after entry hazard damage (RP) Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu and 2HKOes Ting-Lu. Grass Knot also pressures neutral targets like Arceus-Normal as well Arceus. Psychic 2HKOes Arceus-Normal Arceus, (AC) but Psyshock is an alternative STAB move that 2HKOs 2HKOes offensive Ho Oh Ho-Oh and hits Pokémon Pokemon such as Blissey. Which Pokemon besides Blissey? Clarify. Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's debilitates checks like Ho Oh Ho-Oh, Ting Lu Ting-Lu, and Arceus by removing the longevity their Item grant them and forcing them to attack. Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu with less chip damage and 2HKOs Ho Oh 2HKOes Ho-Oh and defensive Arceus forms formes after Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S loses its Choice Specs. Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a good chance of scoring a OHKO on Ting Lu OHKOing Ting-Lu after hazard damage (RC) and lets it 2HKO Arceus. Tera Normal turns Calyrex-Shadow into a Ghost immunity, preventing revenging prevents revenge killing attempts from opposing Calyrex-Shadows Calyrex-S. All 3 three Tera types also allow you Calyrex-S to survive attacks like Ting Lu's Ting-Lu's Payback and Arceus' Arceus's Shadow Claw, though the latter 2 two make it vulnerable to Extreme Killer Arceus' ESpeed Arceus's Extreme Speed.
EthanLac
Grass Knot OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground after entry hazard damage, 2HKOes Ting-Lu, and pressures neutral targets like Arceus.
yours is great as-is of course, but this is just another option
"Pokemon such as Blissey" should be fine as-is based on context. blissey is a special wall and psyshock hits defense
aaaaand, the rest of the check is awesome- really great job on this one!
great changes all around! another way to approach the 2nd and 3rd sentences would be to turn it into a list, since it's Grass Knot and 3 verbs, like so:
Grass Knot OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground after entry hazard damage, 2HKOes Ting-Lu, and pressures neutral targets like Arceus.
yours is great as-is of course, but this is just another option
"is an alternative STAB move" is just filler text. it's implied to be an alternative through the sentence structure (comparing psychic and psyshock, could also be through set but we don't have that here)
"Pokemon such as Blissey" should be fine as-is based on context. blissey is a special wall and psyshock hits defense
I don't think it was very necessary to remove the Calyrex mention, but I like the removal at the end
aaaaand, the rest of the check is awesome- really great job on this one!
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Choice Specs Calyrex-Shadow Calyrex-S is an excellent breaker who independantly breaks through most of wallbreaker that punishes its usual switch ins switch-ins with accurate prediction. Grass Knot kills OHKOes Arceus-Water and Arceus-Ground in one hit after after entry hazard damage (RP) Grass Knot also 2HKOs Ting Lu. Grass Knot , (AC) 2HKOes Ting-Lu, andpressures neutral targets like Arceus-Normal as well. Psychic 2HKOes Arceus-Normal, (AC) but Psyshock is an alternative STAB STAB-move that 2HKOs 2HKOes offensive Ho Oh Ho-Oh and hits Pokémon Pokemon such as Blissey. (a more qualitative explanation of why Psyshock > Psychic for Blissey may be a nice addition here) Trick + Choice Specs debilitate Calyrex-Shadow's debilitates Calyrex-S' checks like Ho Oh Ho-Oh, Ting Lu Ting-Lu, and Arceus by removing the longevity their item grant grants them, (AC) and forcing them to be locked into one attack. Tera Ghost Astral Barrage 2HKOs Ting Lu 2HKOes Ting-Lu with less some chip and 2HKOs Ho Oh damage while still picking up 2HKOes on Ho-Oh and defensive Arceus forms after Calyrex-Shadow formes even if Calyrex-S loses its Choice Specs. Tera Grass gives Grass Knot a good chance of scoring a OHKO on Ting Lu Ting-Lu after hazard damage, and lets it Calyrex-S 2HKO Arceus. Tera Normal turns Calyrex-Shadow into a Ghost immunity, preventing revenging prevents revenge killing attempts from opposing Calyrex-Shadows Calyrex-S. (It should be assumed that the reader is aware of the type chart) All 3 three Tera types also allow you Calyrex-S to survive attacks like Ting Lu's Ting-Lu’s Payback and Arceus'’s Shadow Claw, though the latter 2 two types make it vulnerable to Extreme killer Speed from Extreme Killer Arceus' ESpeed.
betathunder
I might point out some words in yellow for clarity.
- When referring to the original Arceus forme with the Normal typing, "Arceus" is used here, not "Arceus-Normal".
- I'm assuming you used zrp000's tool, because sometimes it might not put a space between two words, like "and" and "pressures" here. If you can, you may want to take a quick look at your future checks and fix any unintentional errors the tool made.
- For the portion after the comma, you need to either remove the comma—making so that there's no comma between the verbs "gives" and "lets"—or turn it into an independent clause by adding a subject before "lets".
- Good job changing the numbers to alphabetical form.
- While you did catch the error on "Extreme Speed" and "Extreme Killer", some of the changes for the Extreme Killer part seem a bit unnecessary. It is better to retain as much of the original writing as possible by writing "Extreme Killer Arceus's Extreme Speed" instead; doing this also maintains the way "Ting-Lu's Payback" and "Arceus's Shadow Claw" are written.
Your check is overall solid. Once you start doing amchecks on actual analyses, try to primarily focus on fixing objective grammar errors.
I might point out some words in yellow for clarity.
- Good job on merging the sentences here!
- When referring to the original Arceus forme with the Normal typing, "Arceus" is used here, not "Arceus-Normal".
- I'm assuming you used zrp000's tool, because sometimes it might not put a space between two words, like "and" and "pressures" here. If you can, you may want to take a quick look at your future checks and fix any unintentional errors the tool made.
- "STAB move" doesn't need a hyphen.
"Calyrex-S" is considered a singular subject, so it needs the possessive "s" after the apostrophe.
- "OHKO" requires "an" when referring to the noun form.
- For the portion after the comma, you need to either remove the comma—making so that there's no comma between the verbs "gives" and "lets"—or turn it into an independent clause by adding a subject before "lets".
- I would say "also" is important to keep here because this is an additional trait that all the stated Tera types share.
- Good job changing the numbers to alphabetical form.
- While you did catch the error on "Extreme Speed" and "Extreme Killer", some of the changes for the Extreme Killer part seem a bit unnecessary. It is better to retain as much of the original writing as possible by writing "Extreme Killer Arceus's Extreme Speed" instead; doing this also maintains the way "Ting-Lu's Payback" and "Arceus's Shadow Claw" are written.
A fair amount of issues in your check primarily revolve around removing some or editing the author's words. You need to be extremely cautious when making changes like these; although these could make it shorter to read or make it sound better to you, you might not be clearly communicating what the author is trying to say.
Here are the changes that revolve around the above point:
- "some chip damage" might not equate to "less chip damage". It's better to clarify with the author via comment or DM on what they're saying there.
Here are the changes that revolve around the above point:
Punishing a switch-in with prediction does not necessarily mean the same thing as independently breaking through it; rather, the author is saying that Calyrex-S can smash through its checks on its own because it can punish them with prediction. The author just doesn't need to say that Caly-S can punish them because it's already implied with "accurate prediction".
I'd be careful with removing information like "Choice Specs", as that item may be important to why Trick is effective for Calyrex-S in the first place. For this specific write-up/metagame, some of the checks listed for Caly-S are physical attackers, so the writer probably wrote out "Trick + Choice Specs" because they won't get any benefit from obtaining Specs.
- Some of the subjective changes here are actually good to helping readers better understand the sentence; particularly, the rewording on the "2HKOing Ho-Oh and Arceus" part makes it more grammatically sound and maintains its same level of importance as 2HKOing Ting-Lu. That being said, it's best to leave a comment to make sure the author agrees with the rewording, even if you're sure you know what they're saying.
- "some chip damage" might not equate to "less chip damage". It's better to clarify with the author via comment or DM on what they're saying there.
Similarly to the portion on Trick + Choice Specs, we shouldn't necessarily remove dex info in some situations because it might be too important or essential in context to not remove. Here, the writer wants to emphasize Tera Normal's Ghost immunity because that enables Calyrex-S to take on opposing Caly-S. In this case, it's better to reword the grammar on "turns Calyrex-Shadow into a Ghost immunity" instead of outright removing it.
Your check is overall solid. Once you start doing amchecks on actual analyses, try to primarily focus on fixing objective grammar errors.
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Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot andrevenge-killer revenge killer against set-up setup sweepers like Polteageist, as well as other Scarfers Choice Scarf users like Sandy-Shocks Sandy Shocks. On top of that, Meowscarada can potentially clean in the late-game after using Knock Off + U-turn to sufficiently weaken checks like Corviknight and Scream Tail. Trick is an immediate and sure-fire way for Meowscarada to shut down it's its checks, (AC) while Knock Off paired + with Spikes are is good at chipping the grounded ones into KO range. Early game breakers Early-game wallbreakers such as Dragonite, Chi Yu Chi-Yu, (AC) and Greninja can punch huge holes into the foe's opponent's team so that Meowscarada can sweep (RC); (ASC) in return, Meowscarada cripples Dondozo and Corviknight with its STABs STAB moves for the first and offers pivot support for the latter two. Corviknight is a solid Defogger and pivot that also switches into priority attacks like First Impression, -ate Extreme Speed, and Ice Shard as well, which frees up Meowscarada to pivot more freely throughout the game.
Choice Scarf Meowscarada with Sword of Ruin is a top-notch offensive pivot and
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Thanks to Tidy Up, (AC) Cinccino is the main enabler of hyper offense teams, letting them run many powerful entry hazard weak Pokemon such as Oricorio-Pa'u Oricorio-P, Arcanine, and Ninetales-Alola Alolan Ninetales. Knock Off lets Cinccino hit Ghost Types Ghost-types like Chandelure, as well as Bronzong, an otherwise problematic wall other problematic walls such as Bronzong. (Changed order; original version reads like Bronzong is a Ghost type. Addition of other Ghost-types or problematic walls may strengthen this sentence) Encore allows Cincinno to capitalize on passive foes that setup set up hazards, boost their stats, or heal up such as Gligar, Registeel, and Sylveon. Teammates like Diancie, Toxtricity, (AC) and Scyther can work alongside Cinccino to overwhelm shared Steel-type checks like Copperajah and Bronzong, however Fires Fire- and Fightings Fighting-types such as Chandelure, Tauros-Paldea-Aqua Paldean Tauros-W, and Heracross that easily beat these same Steel-types work as well. Grassy Terrain teams also heavily benefit from Cinccinos Cinccino's presence, since it lets Oricorio forms formes, Grafaiai, and Arcanine switch-in switch in without having to take chip damage from hazards.
Considered adding ‘respectively’ after the ‘Gligar, Registeel, Sylveon’ line, since technically Registeel can set up hazards and Sylveon can boost its stats. However, I think the overall point of the sentence is that Cinccino can punish passivity regardless of who uses it, so I decided to not suggest that change.
Considered changing '...beat these same Steel-types work as well' to '...beat these same Steel-types also works', but upon reflection this felt like a more personal change than anything.
I'm going to do a couple more of these workshops and I'll likely have a few more of these examples where I see a potential subjective change but refrain from making it because it is subjective. For now I plan to treat these situations as "do not make a change unless it is absolutely necessary for clarity," but I would still appreciate feedback on whether or not those changes would be approved.
Thanks for reading and your feedback! I'm having a lot of fun
Considered changing '...beat these same Steel-types work as well' to '...beat these same Steel-types also works', but upon reflection this felt like a more personal change than anything.
I'm going to do a couple more of these workshops and I'll likely have a few more of these examples where I see a potential subjective change but refrain from making it because it is subjective. For now I plan to treat these situations as "do not make a change unless it is absolutely necessary for clarity," but I would still appreciate feedback on whether or not those changes would be approved.
Thanks for reading and your feedback! I'm having a lot of fun