for this past year or so, anyone whos talked to me or seen me would be aware that ive been acting a lot more femininely, i changed my discord tag, i associate with a new group of people (ily all btw <3), and now i changed my name on here too. acting like this is something ive been curious about for not sure how long but ive always just tried to shut it off, only for it to always grow back stronger, so when i do decide to act more feminine, i realize that i kind of like it, a lot actually ><. i rly like being able to express myself more closely to the way i want to, so at first i thought id wanted to be a girl, but the thing is, i also dont mind living the way i am rn and i dont rly feel alien in it at all. i know you dont need gender dysphoria to be what you want to be, that euphoria is more important, but even tho i like being girly, theres some situations where i dont want to be girly (mainly irl but also outside of this site). as a result i wasnt sure if i wanted to be girl, if i wanted to just be a feminine boy, or something like nb. all of these factors, such as how i liked being and seeing myself as girly, how i dont mind the way i am rn, how my parents would disown me if i ever told them anything, how im not rly interested in transitioning, and how i knew that i could change my mind at any point, made it really hard for me to really accept myself for who i am.
thats why im so glad i have people on here to talk to and just feel things out, even if these people arent in a relatable situation as me. ive been able to experiment with this gender identity more and i just feel a lot better about myself, i dont really feel any internalized hatred towards myself. some people have even told me things that have been so validating for me, and ill even share some of those interpretations to anyone still trying to figure themselves out. its perfectly valid to not be 100% sure of who you are right now, and its perfectly valid to think of yourself as one thing in the moment but change your mind afterwards when something else pops up. i know it might be too general and that second one might not apply well if youre wanting to medically transition, but for someone like me it made me feel a lot better about myself. im very bad at shouting people out and i always feel like ill miss someone but shoutouts
Lunala omicorio Kavatika anime sans Lyss Juno dnagerbdager pannuracotta hs mncmt Aliss Lilburr ily all :pleading_face: . if i missed you but you feel like you helped me with this in some way, chances are you probably did!! <3
you might be wondering why im saying all of this yet i never even said what i see myself as, and honestly labels are hard and i dont rly like them, cause at the end of the day im still churine. i think genderfluid would be the closest label rn, i tend to see myself differently depending on what i feel or where im at. im also not very picky on pronouns so dont stress over that, though i might make a certain preference a little too obvious >~<, not like i didnt already pick out a name for myself that a few people here know about... im bad at ending these things so all i can say is that thank u and ur valid im likely bisexual k good night <3.
