Modus Operandi

[v]

Or "mode of operations." Recently, I watched the series "Dexter" and thought to myself, "Vader, if you were a serial killer, what would your MO be?" My initial response, of course, was to shrug because I had never considered it before.

Vadecrashers.gif

Then, I decided to use my good pal google to do some research

So, without further ado, I humbly present my serial killing method:

I would corner my victims and knock them out with chloroform, homemade. From there, I would bring them to my home and kill them in a dungeon under my house. I'd have like gas tanks and fire and a whole bunch of cool shit to do it with. Then, I would remove and clean the spine, and use them as components of full-scale dinosaur replicas. I would dump the bloody mess of remains somewhere or incinerate it, and collect the teeth for my dinosaurs.

My main influences are Dahmer and Holmes. Dahmer for the bone "art," dismemberment and kidnapping, Holmes for the sweet murder dungeon.

So what would YOUR MOs be? You don't need to do pictures and stuff just like a general description works. You can include victim profiles if you want too, I just think that it is a waste to remove entire segments of the population from your kill demographic so I didn't include them in mine.

 

[Lord Jesseus]

There is probably a reason Dexter never shared his MO on the internet.

 

[Johann]

Pretty much, I would open an art show in this big building. When a citizen enters I would offer them a drugged drink. When the drug takes effect they will fall unconscious and I will take them into the studio. If they don't want a drink then I go all martial-arts and beat the shit out of them until they're helpless and I drag them to the studio. Once there I will have them chained to the wall in a way that makes their bodies shaped like a big X. When they wake up, I will take my badass killing knife and slice them up in such a way that the most blood comes out, sort of like a bloodletting procedure to the extreme. The blood will be collected into buckets. I will then take out my paintbrush, and paint a picture of the victim using his or her own blood. When the blood paintings of the victims dry they will be put upstairs as a part of the gallery. The dead cut up bodies will be put in the furnace.

 

[RODAN]

i would force people to clicke everyone of my links and if they refuse i will cut and paste their body parts, so they have like an arm coming out of their neck

 

[Xaqwais]

I'm Muslim, just think about the stereotype.

 

[Xav]

I'm not sure how I would kill my victims but I have thought of ways to dispose of the bodies. I would either incinerate them so as it leave as little evidence as possible. However this leads to a need for a furnace/etc which I don't have acces to. I suppose if/when I am a serial killer I would porbably find a way.

Another option is feeding the body to pigs (either dead or nearly) as I've heard that they eat everything except the metal fillings in teeth. I like the idea of being a farmer and feeding my victims to my pigs as there source of food.

 

[min min]

Invite victim to masquerade. Make sure no one he knows is on the guest list. Near the end, I offer a drink laced with sleeping tablets and laxatives. The amount is specifically tailored so that the victim will fall asleep when they run into the toilet to shit. I will then drag them into a cubicle and slit their necks, letting blood flow into the toilet bowl. Then I strap a wooden splint to his left leg and lean him against my left shoulder, following which I exit the building pretending he is drunk. For extra safety measures, both of us are wearing masks. The body is then stripped of all clothes, which are then burnt. Lastly, the corpse is rinsed with dilute HCl just in case, and dumped in the lake.

Of course, some things will go horribly wrong.

 

[KnightoftheWind]

Unleash my full power against the victim(s) so that there is no trace of them. Then I'll destroy all the witnesses. Then I'll destroy the police. Then I'll destroy the world.

 

[Outlaw]

To be as random as could be. Different states, different methods and all that jazz. That way you could never get caught because you never form a coherent pattern.

 

[Terrador]

I'd do my homework first and ascertain that they live alone and find out which hand is their primary one. I'd break in subtly (picking a lock, etc.), knock them out with a good elbow to the temple, then slit their wrists with one of their own knives, remove my fingerprints from the knife, then put the knife in their lesser-used hand (since it's instinct to use your dominant hand first. See: cutting your toenails), and go on my merry way. COULD NOT FAIL.

@Mountain Dewgong: Did the COULD NOT FAIL in all caps not imply the opposite (e.g. that I'm completely fallible) to you?

 

[Mountain Dewgong]

Yeah, the blunt force trauma to the head would make it look like a perfect little suicide.

You guys are terrible murderers.

 

[His Eminence Lord Poppington II]

crush adam's apple / inhale water i guess

 

[Minwu]

here you go, victim profile and all

 

[CaptKirby]

I am pretty sure the way to go is ripping up a "sunday school" or orphanage.

Have a nice day.

 

[Deck Knight]

"Fire! And lots of it!"

 

[Alchemator]

Stand around at an airport, and when you see a suitable victim invite them to a back-room of a shop you've hired out. Sit them down on the chair, and begin to play a video of any description. While they are entranced, dispose of them with a swift chop to the neck, steal all methods of identification and valuables and then walk out.

They'll never find you because:
1) Airports are huge.
2) There are loads of shops in airports.
3) The airlines don't care about lost luggage, so they probably don't care about stuff not flying in the hold either.

 

[iss]

go to vader's house

stab him

 

[Zacchaeus]

I would team up with another guy, and we would quickly gather 16 people of varying heights and put them into a dungeon. Each of them would be forced to wear all white or all black clothing. Then they would all be strategically placed on an 8x8 checkerboard. My ally and I would then proceed to do battle. A draw would not end well for any of the victims. After the checkmate, I'm not sure what would become of the survivors

 

[kingofmars]

You guys aren't thinking big picture.
Step 1: Get a job at the Hershey's assembly line
Step 2: Go in at night, disable security cameras
Step 3: inject the ebola virus into the chocolate vats (or a suitable alternative)
Step 4: Go to Panama while the heat blows over
Step 5: Countless amounts of people are dead, death by chocolate

 

[Fishy]

As much fun as watching silly or gruesome gore is in movies, or even the way Dexter can get pretty gruesome/serious about killing his victims, I don't think I could do that myself. Little cuts and stuff don't bother me, but I can't stand seeing blood being drawn, or just big, smooth gushes of blood in general. I would think of ways to kill people in cool, scientific ways like in the movie Pathology. You can still stab/shoot/do noisy shit to people to kill them, but the point in the movie is to commit your kill in a way that isn't easily identifiable. Pretty neat!

 

[Staraptor Call]

 

[Adm. Empoleon]

I would team up with another guy, and we would quickly gather 16 people of varying heights and put them into a dungeon. Each of them would be forced to wear all white or all black clothing. Then they would all be strategically placed on an 8x8 checkerboard. My ally and I would then proceed to do battle. A draw would not end well for any of the victims. After the checkmate, I'm not sure what would become of the survivors

this is what i had in mind. the victims would be forced to kill each other each time a piece is taken. (e.g: a rook takes a pawn, the person who's a rook, has to kill the person who's the pawn).

we'd play best of 3 games, the survivors of each game have to stay. then, we'd kill them, probably with a gunshot to the back of the head, chop up the bodies, and put them in barrels filled with 50% HCl. then we'd get bored and do it all again.

 

[v]

Disease/fire is too impersonal, as any true murder connoisseur would know. You don't really get the satisfaction of the kill, the brief human connection between victim and murderer. Yeah, sure, you can say "I burned down that orphanarium and I'm a killer," but it's not the same as killing someone yourself. If you want to maximize kill:death ratio then fine, be a Hitler or Black Plague Rat, but you can't call yourself a serial killer if all you're doing is the impersonal act of starting a fire or contaminating chocolate. There's no subtlety, no finesse, and no art to that, just...dead people? Artless killing is senseless and also not fun at all to talk about because no one gives a FUCK what disease you'd put in the water supply or if you would lay waste to a dozen towns using only the cleansing power of flame.

 

[kingofmars]

It's the delicous irony of having something someone loves be the death of them, the sudden realization that the sweetness leades to bitterness.

But if you want a more personal touch, then here's what I'll do
If we're going for the most fucked up possible, then I'd break into people's homes, kill the parents, cut off their skin, wear it, wake up the kid. They''ll be too tired to realize what I am right away, so only when they open their eyes and see mine, staring behind the face of their parents, would they be possitievly scared shitless.

Then I tell them everything will be alright, and we watch My little pony friendship is magic.

 

[v]

that leaves evidence everywhere. in light of your signature, i think it would behoove you quit horsing around and work on a proper method of slaughter i mean murder.