Smogon Premier League IX - Week 6

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is a Two-Time Past SPL Championis a Two-Time Past WCoP Champion
New thread where goatc analyzes every game played last week in relevant tiers and relevant gens (bear in mind I’m not perusing these games just skippin thru so chill I make mistakes) behold

1. Ruin cdumas v Big eo
Both teams look oras with eo having an atrociously “do nothing but hope to live hits and maybe set up” type fat shit with, at preview, 0 to break reuni while magma Tran is guaranteed to get a kill and then some.
Wow nice tech heart swap heal wow what a perfect counter that would’ve 6-0hhhh shit I guess clicking heart swap before healing to full was a bit too complicated of a maneuver that gen 8 brought haha,,, I guess oldfags cant comprehend if +5 shock did 40 then if u swap away the boosts u live at 20 haha,,,, welp what can u do amirite (not a guaranteed win depends onspread and eq roll but better than 6-0d by Reu at preview which might as well be the case that u didn’t have the tech counter) cdumbass did nothin impressive this was a 400% dicks in throat game
Dicks in throat meter DDDDD MASSIVE THROATAGE
2. Ruin kory v Big John
Kory w another very ass team like bro ninja counter is ninja and if lop hits lant w 1 ip on switch u already know issaranwrap
Min roll sucks but mana might be invested
Also the gallade woulda put in work regardless cuz lati cant kill and ip does a dickload
In the end by the way kory was gettin his ass sucked from the back for like 10 consecutive turns I rlly doubt he could’ve mustered up a single play like a tupac SoundCloud link (cuz he dead) to come back and win should the min not have rolled min. No dicks in throat on the players voluntary behalf but John dick did force his lil semi halfway down there for most of the game
Dick in throat meter DDD⬜⬜ Forced entry
3. Tgrs p2 v shitrants zomg
Prime example of techs hitting. Tbh komo coulda been any mon that forces in and chips pex, and as long as muk traps lati gren won. 3 mons techd that perfectly hit. Crit didn’t matter cuz trap anyways, freeze was big allowing for 3 kills but then again actually yea freeze was p big but still gren was doin 50 plus to every mon anyways I fuckin hate these slow ass fat no win con teams that don’t do shit like nigga u got a pinsir go double to it click attacks or somethin tf damn but then again what is to be expected of ladder dickwads, they transitioned from gen to gen ala dragmag, birdspam, and pinszone. Once a trapping mon is used u are excluded from discussion relating any skill. No dicks choked but overall a replay equivalent of watching a very lucky old old old guy w saggy balls fuck a fat but bangable chick on pornhub. Was it bad? Yes, but was my dick out? Well somebody had some dick somewhere is all I gotta say (in their throat)
Dick choked level: DD⬜⬜⬜ Old v Young on pornhub
4. Tgrs es v tyshit blund
I swr every single game Es brings fat shit that has set up fatbreakers and nothing speedy yet no oneever punishes w some offense. Look what koko does to that dogshit awful of a oras wannabe tdk skilless team (not an homage to tdk being the face of a playste just stating he is skilless and is known to use skilless dogshit as such). Blunders team is gay too but at least it’s not glaringly dogshit. Ok wow 12 spatt drops later a lati That was prime to sweep got lucked annnnnnnnnd nothing for zor cuz scarftran is possibly the worst scarfer in any gen that came out after Frank ocean came out. Lucky dog sets up alongside lati while hoping to drop it or crit it instead of going hard to Zor which actually ok fine it’s the right play but nigga rlly needed 14 drops or a crit AND HE DROPPED Blunder harder than blunders balls dropped. Choked on dick meter is somewhat high considering he let lati set up alongside but then again that was a forced condition cuz he has nothing for lati anyways so he had to luck so ok not rlly dicks in mouth on this one just massive luck and little skill
Meter : D⬜⬜⬜⬜ “I get mad #45”
5. Cryo joe v Clasy BlkOb
Bro I swr if I see another one of these pussy ass oras lookin no momentum havin ass “I play to not lose” headass teams who tf repopularized shitfable I swr damn u guys rlly makin me appreciate p2 that much more damn wtf
Anyways sucks tht I have to be objective but just as joe had zero for canion bo had nothing for zhb Cham w th only difference btwn them the necessity of prediction on joeys part which, oh boy he did not make a lot of if any (mu rlly put u behind tho tbh but sry bro objectivity) yea pretty straightforward game bo just had to not choke and not get outplayed by Cham staying in on anything or icing lant / zenning clef on the wrong turn which neither happened. Bo didn’t play particularly well or outplay it’s just that he clicked the obvious moves and joe failed to not click the obviouser moves. Yea idk pretty bad game I love joe tho come back stronger next week gang gang
Dicks choked meter: don’t see no chokes ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
6. Cryo orasbb v class Sabella
Damn if that matchup was any worse it woulda been an arranged marriage. But then again cbb played Aggro and kept it competitive. He needed to get turn 22 right otherwise he loses to pert or gren at the point but alas this isn’t oras. Also idk why new switched out v pelipler I guess “I got brain aids” gives u the gist (et al Bang 2018). Then again when ur rocker hard beats the defogger and u have 12 water mons v gooche 1 resist team it’s hard to lose. No chokes but needed to literally outplay every turn to win, which evidently was not the case.
Choke meter D⬜⬜⬜⬜ “HIV patient skullfucks German Thiccy”
7. Shark btb v scoot fv
Couple outplays on both sides here n there but btb ultimately engulfed the dick when he decided to throw away the chance at winning the game righ there (on a 5050) when it’s bulu v mew w his weavile. Yea also lemme keep this lucha that’s useless wo terrain wow damn sharks forewent 3k goatlord for what? DAMN got a 7 but this nigga got a starting position on a top 5 team? Damn mdrag u rlly not slick
Dicks engulfed level: DDDDD bhartha_the_bestattakingdickintheesophagus
8. Shark nah v scoot leftard
Damn a team w zero I repeat zero fatbreak (Zard don’t count cuz it kills itself) vs a team w nothing for simple breakers let’s say,,,, cham. Cham w zen 6-0s as long as he gets the suit turn correct, and let’s not forget my favorite set bp > fakeout which can lead and 6-0 almost. Damn what atrocious dogshit piles of assjuice
Anyways yea bruh lost when Zard stayed in but then again Zard was not winnin cuz recoil anyways. Shit game this shit was ass leftard made apaproximately as many plays as he has had vaccinations in his life (hint: ) damn truly an eye gauging dogshit game
Dicks in throat level:
DDDDD both teams must’ve been made mid fellatio and neither was on the receiving end I presume
9. Wolf abr v raid gondr

Gond has one of those yea I’ll beat fat but if I face anything >100 speed I lose (see: cham) teams which are laughable xd xdddd but successful thus far (see:ES). Abr has a solid team, good sweeper that can catch balanced offense off guard and mons that lure/break gear tang and shit for his gear (tf is that lele does that shit have nat madness or some shit that ain’t spex) game was p much lost when keld hit the sword. Also wtf kinda ninja the belt toolkit one? Not a bad set but damn sucks here. Also side note abr 6-0d by Zard x which no one uses and volc which very few use but then again it’s sm u try ur best to not get 6-0d turn1 but if u do jus do like ES and luck the shit outta the mon that 6-0s u rip blunder. Not a choketastic game very straightforward the better team won zero plays displayed nor necessary
Dicks swallowed: ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
Lame game mu win 2/10
10. Wolf trosk v goat shake
Game of the week. Shake brought patented 12 set up sweepers w a lead and applied his patented click moves and see what happens technique, and by god did he pull off his scheme as usual. With poise and finesse shake proceeded to click the obvious play like 12 turns in a row and lo n behold: someone even more average than Shake managed to get outplayed within said turns. How a volc wo settin Up gonn get 7 kills u ask? Goatitup. How u make ur opp shove that massive of a dick thru his oral canal that time itself ceases to manifest on the physical level on ur opps screen? Goatitup.worry not, shucca gear in da back anyways, and u already know Shake still packin Hp ice volc cuz this nigha usin fini so u already know he stuck in 2013 when ice volc was used. Throughout the battle goatitup displayed unparalleled swagger with taunts and “idc I don’t even play lol” attitude, but that’s just what he wants you to think. Yes, hate him, call him shit, yes continue to underestimate, belittle, despise him. Call him a virgin , say that he jerksoff tk 13 yr old anime girls, proclaim that he has zero skill in this game yet spends every waking moment dusting off the dorito dust on his keyboard to send yet another :lewd: emoji into his anime discord,,, yum.... keep it coming, cuz all ur negativity will only enhance the climax of his orgasm when he stokes his chode to orcs raping anime children as the man inevitably claims yet another w because after all, look at the hall of fame, who chillin as the 2goat? This proud man, the lebron James of Pokémon.
Dicks in mouth: DDDDD
When shake decides to play, ur throat is already filled with his 2 incher, accept ur destiny player. Amen
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is a Two-Time Past SPL Championis a Two-Time Past WCoP Champion
Before I begin I wanna ask the ou council why tf gross is an ok mon in this gen if sm where z moves exist and ubs and terrain deemed gross to be unswitchintoable. Also secondly if sm dug was banned and Oras seemed trapping aka goth to be uncompetitive, why is dug still in the gens that it’s in aka bw and oras? In order to make the gens competitive agajn gross, keld, dug need to leave oras (waiting to see if clef will become overcentralizing pursuant that change) and dug needs to leave bw. But oh who am I to voice opinions I just was merely best bw best xy best oras and decent sm and shifted the meta just a tad on a few occasions what do I know haha,,,
1.ruin hiye v bigs xray
One constant in Pokémon is that Ladder heroes can only use autopilot teams. Hiye played his advantage perfectly and didn’t give any chances for the shit no bandtar counter stall to incapacitate the band tar, this is one of those games that’s satisfying as shit to watch as the stallchode gets assate from behind damn if the beatdown were any harder xray mineswell name change to xxxraytacion
Dicks choked: ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ Givin no chansys (gettit)
2. Tgrs nintendi v tyshjts gtm
Tendi uses solid teams and Iv already commended his usage of Scor but it’s scor fwg regen mons plus a breaking mega every game like damn whoever’s fat mons survive mgross wins in oras every week cuz it’s regen plus gross mirrors someone plz punish w kyub or soemthin I swear it’s free ass kills/wins
Both made plays but tendis team was better cuz hydra as a breaker doesn’t have enuf turns to break, and if no burn then this could’ve been a contest. Also how gtm gross counter gonn be gross?
Dicks throated: ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ Standard oras
Fairly generic oras, better team won
3. Cryo poek v class znain
Actually a very good game if u look at the plays turn by turn but if ur a team building veteran u would know the outcome of the game is decided when znain chose to run suit on gross. I guess suit eq doesn’t exist? But when suit was revealed poek instapunished w his own gross cuz let’s be honest neither team had a gross counter besides helmet chip. As always, the better played gross won, and lemme tell u pursuit gross is not a set. There’s way too many keld checks no one runs lati as a sole keld switchin and suit does nothing v jelly who run dark resist anyways. Yea after turn 2 whoever’s gross dididnt die won the game, which was the case. Still a good game w great endgame, it was less close than it seemed but I don’t disagree w any of the plays made this game by either side. znain has cleared his dogshit klefki scep game from my memory
Choke counter: ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ Actual game of the week
4. Shark nihi v scoot mounts
Was not a good game and yea lemme just stay in w Zor on clef nobody runs fire amirite haha anyways that dipfuck insight lead to the game becoming “whoever crits first wins” damn what a dogshit awful game of chodes in throat on both sides lemme sack 12 mons then go for the cm war too like damn,,, what an absolute atrocity of a game that shows everything shit about Oras from cm clef to cm cune to that’s about it
Gag meter DDDDD maximum throatage for both damn worst oras game Iv seen in a hot minute
5. Wolf kanto v raid tdk
Ah tdk patented “play to not lose” dogshit with half a decent win con and does absolutely nothing to win oh look there’s a zam but if everything isn’t half health by end game I just lose xd these types of fuckin dogshit trash teams make me so mad like damn if kantos scor could’ve countered any harder it’d be representing OJ Simpson. Jesus fuck that’s such a satisfying game to watch like damn I been sayin diancie top 5 and even tho it did jack it was gonna put in work also tdk lost when jelly got poisoned which was inevitable cuz dogshit spinblock and just dogshit team but then again no one forced tdk to continuously use no win con fat play not to lose fuccass teams and matchup himself into a corner turn 0 damn
Men gangbanging tdk while he concockted this abomination: DDDDD whole lotta gangbang shit
What an awful game 2/10 all these playsafe niggas in oras think theyr playing safe but yea losing game t1 real safe huh instead of at least playing offense and having a chance to outplay lmao what a joke of a player pool

1. Ruin Jacob v big posho
Posho team is manly but don’t it just lose to like keldtar also I actually like Jacobs team it’s well rounded. Crit On skarm sucked cuz wo crit I think Jacob chances r 7-3 yes heavily in favor cuz hazards up skarm walls p much everything, tar traps lati that’s a kill and spore whenever frrro is in is another kill, numbers advantage is too big. However posho played his hand the only way he could’ve won and Jacob lost when the ferro doubled on the loom (cuz he sacked tar for 0 reason and is now down a sac) unfortunate but still posho played better, tho wo crit the matchup was hardly outplayable
Dicks choked DD⬜⬜⬜ slight slip up
I’d say Jacob panicked when crit happened but yea that sucks, game went from 7-3 in his favor to against, but not unwinnable so I’d still say choke when tar was sacked
2. tgrs mcm v shitrants dicshit
Guessed mcwashedghan can no longer muster up the courage to load up an outplay team and resorted to mu cheese. Game was lost t1 when rocks went up actually not rlly but mcm got outplayed a bit too by dice of all shit bw players damn what a shit sight to see but then again it’s not like it was hard to make a double cuz rocks up t1 and 9/10 times that game was over.
Choked meter: DD⬜⬜⬜

Ftrash ass team by mcm that shit only good vs slower fatter shit and opposing Ho wrecked
3. Cryo funk v class shoka
Ok jus from last couple weeks performance funk has shocked me being pretty decent in a tier where I thot he’d eat chode at cuz back when I played w him in bw he was atrocious (but then again I’m goat) also maybe cuz cryos help idk
Ok on to the game
Funk has something that they call hyper stall in bw which consists of offensive chansey where u get up rocks and sack it, a dragmag semi core, and generally makes zero sense. Shoka has the first bw team 6-0d by gastro (ok not literally but still) anyways yea what an awful showdown of who can make a worse team like bruh damn sub eq nite like lmao damn that’s some new shit sub roost dd just 6-0d damn what a trash ass game rachi kinda 6-0d too damn Iv never seen worse teams play not even Charlotte bobcats vs Cleveland Browns in a match of soccer could compete.
Gag-o-meter: DDDDD

Both player gave Up their right to not swallow dicks when they loaded up their teams.
4. Shark deluks v scoot go10
go10 surprisingly played a fuckin spectacular starmie and boy I love specs starmie. A lot of guckin luck on deluks side and judging from a non dragon resist team alongside shit plays I know for a fact this niggas a bw rookie what an atrocious game. Hypnosis miss whatever 5050 that move is ass, but crunch mattered cuz chomp got a kill there w rage. Then the game was over. Lategame it’s not like deluks outplayed he just literally won 1 5050 w the uturn on gyara, that’s about where his outplays all game begin and end. Ok that’s not true going keld on the rotom split was a good play and secured the game but that’s on top of massive luck to begin with. Go10 coulda played endgame better actually idk he was in the position where despite all luck the game was down to 1 5050 so yea damn that’s just mons boys
Dicks choked:⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜
Surprisingly enjoyable game go10 was so close to the comeback win

5. wolf sw v raid bkc
Mu wise scor is annoying for bkc and possible sub dd nite runs thru sw if given a free turn wo sand or rox, but I woulda lead zone cuz the only unfavorable lead was possible offensive nite like mix or band but that’s rare. But then again coulda been scarf hypnosis u know all these toeds are just gambling on a 60% to not be useless all game damn what a gen bw has become. Anyways
OH SHIT THE STALK TECH anyways w ferro dead and most sets revealed (not nite) I’d give sw a 7-3 lead as long as nite isn’t sub dd but even then icy keld and sd scor deal w it nicely. Scor was winning that mu v nite cuz as I said sand needed to not be up and nite needed a head start in order to even have a chance at winning. Damn Kev lucked the DICK off of sw on this one even tho the crits didn’t matter and it all came down to wait no the crit did matter cuz uh sleep talk rolling either spore or stun would’ve given sw,,, actually nah it didn’t matter p sure eq is killin moong around 40 anyways and no way sw is switching around to heal amoong also eq kills keld anyways yea so crits didn’t matter and the flinch sealed it which kinda sucks
No choke meter for this one
Kev played off of the bad matchup and did what he could using luck given (icefang situation was bound to happen cuz infinite pp either freezes or crits so that we can discount)
Sux luck was involved tho cuz sw played rlllly well all game
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