Stuff about GFs (And BFs)

Brammi

Brammi

Use this passage to answer question 12

There is this girl I have a couple of uni classes with. A mate of mine who is full pizza face and talks about nothing but soccer and computers when he can get over his problem with not being able to talk to girls, likes her. I like her too and want to go out with her. What should I do?

Tick as many boxes as apply:
[ ] broes before hoes
[ ] do it
[ ] I DO WAD I WAN
[ ] Stuff it in her
[ ] Play pokemon and fap
 
v

v

protected by a silver spoon
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@OP: usually, the preferred method of dealing with this dilemma is called a "duel." I'll spell it out for you.

Rules:
1) Both players are given a loaded gun with a single bullet loaded in the chamber
2) Each player takes ten paces opposite the other
3) Once your ten paces have been taken, take a shot!
4) Whoever dies first loses

"But Vader! I am a monstrously stupid (BAN ME PLEASE) and will certainly lose in combat to my friend!"

Fear not, fledgling failure! I have devised several potential scenarios which you may prepare for:

1) Your opponent is a scholarly old gentleman who wields a cane as his weapon of choice:


As you can see, I have generously lent you my Giant Crayon weapon. It is easily capable of dispatching any scholarly gentlemen who wish to take your precious damsel from you!

2) Your opponent is a small chinese man (woman? I can never tell):

In figure2, you have armed yourself with the bane of disobedient children of all flavors: the belt. The chinese (wo)man cowers in fear due to his (her?) repressed memories flooding back. At that point, you are free to ravage (not ravish, if you catch my drift!) your prized wench.

3) Your opponent is australian:


Against an Australian, anonymity is your best bet because they can remember faces for generations, unless those are crows. I cannot recall which is which at the moment. And what better way to express anonymity than with the face of the internet's most notorious shithole? You are bringing down your katana for the final stroke of an epic battle against this kangaroo-fucking aussie's boomerang. NOTE: if you are not a master of swordplay as I am, perhaps you would be better served wielding your tears. I am sure they are ample to drown a foe who still fights with archaic weaponry like the boomerang!

I hope this has been helpful!
 

Mysterious Trainer

Hi #smogon, I have a very solemn dilemna. I’m freaking shedding tears because of how retarded I am.

Alright, so my woman was supposed to come over to my apartment today because I was going to go take her to a film. She lives about 1/3 of an hour away, and the film we were supposed to see started at a quarter-after-four, which was in about 2/3 of an hour. I figured “okay, I’ll just play Pocket Monsters while I wait”.

So I’m playing Pocket Monsters, and having a really condemned-to-hell enjoyable time. Moving on with the story, she eventually arrives, only she’s sobbing as she makes her way into my bedroom. Rather than doing the best thing by consoling her, I divide my attention between my game and her. She begins explaining to me her feline passed away, and suddenly as she was progressing into the details, I get into a wild pocket monster battle in my game.

A shiny pidove. Sacred fece. (For those of you who are ignorant/indifferent, shiny Pocket Monsters have a fewer than one out of one-thousand chance of showing up; one out of eight-thousand-one-hundred-ninety-two to be exact.). I gaze into my Nintendo DSi XL's LCD in astonishment, shouting “Sacred fece, YES”, interrupting her mid-story. She baws more, and she begins to scream “You don’t even freaking feel sympathetic! YOU ONLY WANT TO PLAY YOUR FREAKING GAME!” I continue staring at my screen, still determined on catching my shiny Pidove, as she stomps over, and throws the game against the floor. I hurry over and pick up my DSi XL hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and soon realized that she had destroyed it. My Nintendo DSi XL and my shiny Pidove, gone for eternity.

I begin to yell every profanity in my vocabulary, and started flapping my arms everywhere. I didn’t know she was next to me, and supposedly I slapped her in the cheek while I was being an idiot and swinging my limbs around. She said loudly “SCREW YOU”, and dashed out of my apartment crying.
What have I brought upon myself? I’ve messed up so badly, and I need to know how to go up to her. I don’t want a game of Pocket Monsters to be hold the blame for sabotaging my best relationship of all time.

Assist me, #smogon.

 

iDunno

is a Contributor Alumnus
That post feels extremely familiar. It's almost as if it was copied and half-assedly edited to pass it off as original.
 

Manafii101

[x] post in thread

[ ] refrain from posting in thread

Also Katanas are nve against australians. And you can't use Anonymonity while Tears is in play.
 
His Eminence Lord Poppington II

His Eminence Lord Poppington II

proverb:the fish who eats most dies still too
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon Discord Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
Mysterious Trainer said:
Hi #smogon, I have a very solemn dilemna. I’m freaking shedding tears because of how retarded I am.

Alright, so my woman was supposed to come over to my apartment today because I was going to go take her to a film. She lives about 1/3 of an hour away, and the film we were supposed to see started at a quarter-after-four, which was in about 2/3 of an hour. I figured “okay, I’ll just play Pocket Monsters while I wait”.

So I’m playing Pocket Monsters, and having a really condemned-to-hell enjoyable time. Moving on with the story, she eventually arrives, only she’s sobbing as she makes her way into my bedroom. Rather than doing the best thing by consoling her, I divide my attention between my game and her. She begins explaining to me her feline passed away, and suddenly as she was progressing into the details, I get into a wild pocket monster battle in my game.

A shiny pidove. Sacred fece. (For those of you who are ignorant/indifferent, shiny Pocket Monsters have a fewer than one out of one-thousand chance of showing up; one out of eight-thousand-one-hundred-ninety-two to be exact.). I gaze into my Nintendo DSi XL's LCD in astonishment, shouting “Sacred fece, YES”, interrupting her mid-story. She baws more, and she begins to scream “You don’t even freaking feel sympathetic! YOU ONLY WANT TO PLAY YOUR FREAKING GAME!” I continue staring at my screen, still determined on catching my shiny Pidove, as she stomps over, and throws the game against the floor. I hurry over and pick up my DSi XL hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and soon realized that she had destroyed it. My Nintendo DSi XL and my shiny Pidove, gone for eternity.

I begin to yell every profanity in my vocabulary, and started flapping my arms everywhere. I didn’t know she was next to me, and supposedly I slapped her in the cheek while I was being an idiot and swinging my limbs around. She said loudly “SCREW YOU”, and dashed out of my apartment crying.
What have I brought upon myself? I’ve messed up so badly, and I need to know how to go up to her. I don’t want a game of Pocket Monsters to be hold the blame for sabotaging my best relationship of all time.

Assist me, #smogon.

Click to expand...
Who the hell exclaims, 'sacred fece'.
 
Sherkel

Sherkel

[x] Bros before hoes. Why? Because bros are always there for you, and they have your back after your hoe rips your heart out for no good reason, and you were nothing but great to your hoe, and you told her that she was the only hope for you, and that she was better than all the other hoes in the world, and then she's suddenly not your ho no mo.
 

MackTheKnife

Man, thats fuckin smooth.
Unless that bor is a fucking backstabber who will do anything to get what he wants such as use you for a girl.
Just sayin ;)
 
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