-Gwen’s audio journal, March 9th, 2012.
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Ugh, what a night. I should be ecstatic right now, or at least asleep, but I need coffee. Had my old recurring nightmare, the one where my body slowly freezes starting at my feet and slowly ending at my head. I woke up at half past midnight. It’s now four in the morning. But enough of that, today is the day I become a trainer with my friends Cheren and Bianca. I hope they got enough sleep. Ugh, all this talk about sleep is making me frown. If you’ll excuse me, I have some My Little Pony to watch.
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Note to self, Bianca is no longer allowed in my room. “Hey Gwen, what’s-”
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Well, I just had two rousing battles. “Tepig!” That sound would be Inferno, my Tepig. Kid’s a bit stubborn. I called for him to use Tail Whip at the start of both battles but he just stuck with Tackle, not that it matters. I gotta say, he’s pretty happy with attacking like a madman. Oh! I just got an idea! Each Pokémon that joins my team gets its own theme! I’ll have to come up with some ideas later. For now, we gotta go to Professor Juniper’s lab.
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INFERNO YOU LET GO OF MY POKEDEX RIGHT NOW! IT IS NOT FOOD! Oops, did I hit the record button?
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Sorry about that. Inferno decided that a Pokedex was a tasty treat. He’s in his Pokeball now. Anyways Professor Juniper gave Cheren, Bianca, and me a Pokedex and a mission to fill it up. I don’t think I’ll do that. The way I intend to catch Pokémon is to wait for them to approach me and give them an invitation to join my team. If I have to battle them I’ll be fine with that. I think I see Bianca and Cheren waving me over.
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One oddity after another in Accumula Town. First up was this Ghestis person. He had about seven grunts dressed like crusaders, no I am not making this up, around him as he, for lack of a better word, preached. Cheren informed me that it was about Pokémon Liberation or something like that. I was too creeped out by Ghestis to pay attention. One of his eyes looked freaking robotic for crying out loud! The crazy train didn’t end there though, as a kid around my age was demanding to “hear my Pokémon speak” and then sent out his Purrlion. Despite the bucker being quick, Inferno was able to hit it with Ember enough times to knock it out. –sigh- I need a pony break.
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Note to self, find a Pokémon psychiatrist.
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Well, I’m here in Striaton City with two more Pokémon, and one has a serious case of Derpyness. The sane one is a Purrlion. She is a quick little kitten and just snaps to alertness to sounds. She actually challenged me to a fight herself and darted so much that Inferno had a hard time hitting her. I took matters into my own hands and aimed my little pig by holding him to lead the Purrlion into his fire. I decided to call her Snap from her quickness. Now the derpy Pokémon is a Pansage. I found him being released by a slightly fat dude. He said that the Pansage thought it was a swan, and from his behavior I would say the assessment is true. The monkey swims in every body of water he sees and makes swanlike sounds. Other than that, he’s fine. Due to his condition I decided to call him Swanton.
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Ugh, I think Discord is casting his curse on me through the fourth wall. I’ve been training on route 2 and I have discovered that Swanton is not the only one with problems, and in fact his are the least problematic in a battle. Inferno is more stubborn than Applejack and refuses to use any move that doesn’t do damage, although I can work around that. Snap on the other hand is more OCD than Rarity. She absolutely will not use any move not called Assist! While it is hilarious to see a kitty shoot vines out of her butt, the reliability of the move is very poor. Hopefully she’ll prove her worth. Oh, I see Bianca coming up.
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I just had two more battles with my friends and won. Bianca had a Lillipup with her, but Snap actually managed to win with a lucky burn from an Assist Ember. Her Snivy went down easily from Inferno being Inferno. I decided to head to the trainer’s school after healing my team to see that Cheren was hanging out. He wanted a battle as well. He sent out his Oshawott first so I sent out Swanton. I really have to say that despite needing a crapload of therapy the monkey is a good battler. All it took were a few Vine Whips and Oshawott was out. After that we both let our Purrlions battle. I tried to get Snap to use something that wasn’t Assist but there was no luck. Snap was knocked out mostly due to constantly using Oder Sleuth so Inferno had to finish the job. After I get my Pokémon back from Nurse Joy, it’ll be time to challenge the gym.
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(music plays)
First try, first badge. I gotta say, the battle was intense! First it was Snap against Cress’s Lillipup. I called out for her to use Sand Attack, and she used Assist… Even worse, she used Lick. Meanwhile, Lillipup buffed itself with Work Up as Snap was using Assist and coming up with poor moves. She just managed to give the dog a burn with Ember before taking a Tackle and fainting. Poor thing, she’s so fragile. I knew Cress had a water type waiting so I chose Inferno to preserve Swanton until then. Cress slipped up right there. He decided to further buff Lillipup with Work Up, probably to counter the burn, so Inferno had a free turn to use Tackle which combined with the burn damage managed to make the dog drop. Cress returned it to its Pokeball and struck a pose. He yelled out it’s go time and threw what looked like a Net Ball into the air. Flipping onto the battlefield was a Panpour with a rainbow scarf. It sprayed water into the air and placed one hand on the ground while looking at me. I went for broke and had Inferno Tackle it. He took a lot of damage as the monkey hit it with a point blank Water Gun, but he held tough. I called for Ember but that monkey ran up and scratched Inferno to knock it out. My last Pokémon was Swanton, whom quacked when he was sent out of his Pokeball. Cress had his monkey buff with Work Up so I figured that I had to end the battle quickly with Vine Whip. To my surprise it hit Panpour right in the weak spot and knocked it out in a single hit! Now I have the Trio Badge. Huh, looks like a researcher is right outside. I wonder what she’s doing?
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HYPOCRITES! I hate that Team Plasma! If they are advocating the separation of Pokémon and trainers because Pokémon deserve better,
THEN WHY WAS A GRUNT KICKING A POOR MUNNA TO GET DREAM MIST?! Thankfully my team was able to defend her long enough for a Musharna to come in and fool the two grunts into running away. As for me, I’m heading to Nacrene City.
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Seriously, this Team Plasma needs to go away. Not only did they beat that poor Munna, and nobody is allowed to make cute things cry around me, but now they stole a little girl’s Pokémon! Cheren and I went to a rather wet cave to find that there were a number of Plasma grunts in there. We teamed up in a tag battle to take them down. At first I wanted to use Swanton but he decided that he’d rather swim in the cave’s lake, so I went with Snap. Assist kept coming up with either Ember or Vine Whip so she did decent damage while Cheren’s Oshawott helped a lot by finishing whatever Snap damaged. Now hopefully I can get to Nacrene City without another encounter with the stupid crusaders.
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Well that was rude. Here I am trying to go to Lenora to have a gym battle when that weird kid from Accumula Town bumped into me. Apparently his name is N. He was talking about seeing the truth behind Pokeballs and went on to wishing for a world with perfect Pokémon. I just nodded so I wouldn’t wind up dead in some ally with bite marks or something like that. He challenged me to a battle, but in all honesty his team was easy to beat. He continued rambling about something but I wasn’t paying attention to him. I suspect he might have schizophrenia.
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BUCK YES! Inferno has evolved into a Pignite! “Shh!” Sorry about that mam, I got a tad excited.
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-sigh- I lost to Lenora… Her Herdier took out Snap and Swanton with a single Take Down for each of them while her Watchog obliterated Inferno with Retaliate. I might need to catch something that can tank better than Inferno, but I’ll try once more without another team member.
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(music plays)
Round two was a success! First up were Snap and Herdier. I knew Snap could not take a hit so I hoped that she would dodge that first attack, and she did! Not only that, but her Assist turned into Arm Thrust! I have to put this on the record that a kitten belching out oddly shaped hands is hilarious. Unfortunately Herdier hit her with a Take Down and knocked her out in one hit, but at least the recoil of the move knocked him out! I’ll make sure to tell Snap that she was a big help there. Swanton was sent out against Lenora’s Watchog. Since I actually decided to look at it carefully, I noticed it was wearing a Doctor Whooves wristband. Even gym leaders can be Bronies. The Watchog itself was a statute when it came to moving, except for the feet that were twitching in anticipation. Lenora called for Retaliate and Watchog delivered brutally. Swanton was picked up by the tail, thrown into the air, and then smacked down by Watchog’s head-butt. While Swanton didn’t do anything, he did help by taking the Retaliate that nobody on the team could handle. Inferno was sent onto the field with the threat of a boosted Retaliate gone. This was down to the wire. Two Retaliate attacks would knock out Inferno, so he had to knock out Watchog with one attack. I called for Arm Thrust as Watchog sent a fist into Inferno. One. The first thrust landed easily in close quarter combat, but Watchog was fast so there was no telling how this would end. Two. The second thrust landed on Watchog’s chest and I thought I heard a crack, critical hit. Watchog ate a berry to restore some of its health. Three. The pause to eat a berry was a mistake as Inferno got another hit in. Four. Watchog fell. –yawn- I need a nap.
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PLASMAAAAA! Those guys are the most annoying group in the world, and that includes all fanboy and troll groups! I wake up from my nap to screaming and I find out that they stole a skull from a museum. Cheren and Bianca guarded the museum while Lenora guarded the western exit of town, which meant that Burgh, the gym leader of the next town whom just happened to be around at the time, and I had to chase after them in the Pinwheel Forest. Burgh took the straight path, which lead me to taking the mazelike path, oh joy. I kept Inferno out during this trek for protection. Some Plasma grunts had weapons so I’m glad I had Inferno out with me. When I got to the grunt with the skull an old man in sagelike robes came from behind me and stated that the skull wasn’t what they were looking for, but then he turned to me and said that I should be eliminated to prevent further intrusion. Thankfully Burgh swung in from a vine to help me. Apparently gym leaders are enough to scare off Team Plasma. Now I have to cross the Skyarrow Bridge to reach Castelelia City. I knew I should have spent more time exercising.
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-pant, wheeze- Bridge, too, long.
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Now that I think about it going against Burgh might not be a good idea. Both Swanton and Snap are weak to bug type attacks so I should probably catch a Pokémon that isn’t weak to them… but that would involve crossing the Skyarrow Bridge on foot again. Wait, there’s Pokémon in the desert north of here! I’ll be back soon!
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-cough- I think I inhaled too much dust. Anyways I got a new member on my team, he’s a Scraggy. He was fighting against a Krokorok and got beat up really badly. I threw a heal ball at him so he would heal. I’m resting at a house in the desert so I don’t have to camp out tonight. I’ll head back to Castelia and get my badge- hang on, my crosstransceiver is vibrating. Hey Bianca, what’s-
THEY DID WHAT?! I’ll be right there!
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If I have to deal with Team Plasma
ONE MORE TIME, I swear! A Plasma grunt kidnapped Bianca’s Munna so Burgh, some girl named Iris, and I went searching for where Team Plasma was. Turns out that they had a base right in front of the freaking gym! Now I forgot to heal my other Pokémon whom all took damage from being in the sandstorm at a few points, which meant that my Scraggy, whom I still have not named, was the best one for dealing with the Plasma Grunt that challenged me to a fight. He sent out a Sandile and when I sent out my Scraggy he, and I am not making this up, ran up to the Sandile, grabbed it by the tail, and threw it into a building without my commands. I don’t think a Scraggy can learn Seismic Toss. Hey, that’s a good name for him! Anyways after that display of what I call anger, he did just lose to a Krokorok before I caught him, we confronted the lot and I once again faced Ghestis. He spouted more what I now consider bullcrap at us that I didn’t pay attention to before ordering his lackey to give Bianca her Munna back. They all went away and I’m tired. Actually, my Pokémon have been working their butts off all day for me, I think I’ll give them the day off tomorrow and sightsee. It’s not like the gym is a once in a lifetime thing. This is Gwen, signing off.