Do you think the election turns the US into a giant circus?
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The Well #62 - Theorymon
- Thread starter Theorymon
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would you agree that the us was already a giant circus?
Would you fuck a stranger during the apocalypse?
What are your favorite games of each genre outside platforming?
Whats your highest leaderboard placement?
Favorite classic lit?
Wanna have a sleepover?
What are your favorite games of each genre outside platforming?
Whats your highest leaderboard placement?
Favorite classic lit?
Wanna have a sleepover?
Damn I slept like a baby most of the day, catching up on the sleep election stole from me. Glad that shit is over, now its time to marathon this! Here's 3 posters questions answered for now, more later in the day!
For licensed games, I'm gonna go with E.T. If you can believe it, the Atarri 2600 E.T. is by far the best E.T. game I've played! Granted, its still not good at all, but it at least had some... strange ambition with its attempt to be an early adventure game, it probably would have turned out fine if the game wasn't rushed considering the same designer made one of the best Atari 2600 games as well, Yar's Revenge.
Now I haven't played every ET game so I guess this is premature, but besides the infamous Atari 2600 game, I've played E.T. for the Game Boy Advance, E.T. Interplanentarry Mission for the Playstation, and E.T. and the Cosmic Garden for the Game Boy Color. They're all extremely dull, poorly controlling overhead games where you collect flowers. Seriously, they're more dull than the 2600 game!
While not a serires, I gotta give a special shoutout to the CDi Zelda games, which control like absoloute dogshit. The 2D side scrolling CDi games are already infamous for being terrible, but Zelda's Adventure is even WORSE imo. In fact, Zelda's Adventure may be the single worst game I've ever played! Imagine a 2D Zelda game where each screen scroll has an excruciating load time, nonsensical voice acting, and items that don't do ANYTHING. It's a shitshow of a game, one I'd only wish on my worst enemies.
As for single games, Sonic 06 may seem like an obvious choice for me... but as trash as that game is, it's so horrendous that its extremely funny to watch someone else play it, so I'd compare Sonic 06 more to The Room than anything else I've mentioned!
Finally, shout out to how bad Super Mario Bros. Special is, the only mainline Mario platformer I'd call bad. I guess the Sharp X1 version is a bit better than the PC-99 version, but seriously look at this garbage!
As for the Switch game, it's fine. It's basically Shindou Super Mario 64 but in HD and use of LUA hacks to translate the game on the fly. I wish there were more quality of life improvements like 60 FPS for the Switch version, but otherwise, and I know speedrunners miss the insanity of backwards long jumps... but otherwise, it's the same Super Mario 64 I know and love, but in a more convinent form on the Switch, so it's probably my favorite version!
As for weirdest dreams... god that sounds like an impossible question to answer, but I still think one of the weirdest dreams I had was when my 3DS mega evolved into Albert Enstein, which somehow caused a time paradox!
As for most cursed dream... In a vacuum, I'd say the "mIRC logo chases and rapes me" dream would be, but that one has become a huge meme on Smogon, so its more of a blursed dream! Instead, I think the most cursed dream I ever had, was a dream I had when I was a teenager, where I was strapped to an opperating table, and a man just repeatedly keeps punching me in the throat, as I struggle to breath. Sounds like a simple nightmare right? Well this is what put it over the top for me was that I actually awoke with a serious asthma attack, and had to be taken to the hosptial. I may have been having an asthma attack in my sleep, and the nightmare being so awful may have saved my life!
This is an excellent question! When it comes to non-licensed games... I think I have to go with Action 52. There's 3 games in that "series": Action 52 for the NES, Action 52 for the Sega Genesis, and Cheetamen II (which, has technically been offically released now). All these games are among the worst electronic pieces of media I've ever played, with awful controls, graphics, and gameplay, and each game having like 10x less depth than say, a bad Atari 2600 game!
For licensed games, I'm gonna go with E.T. If you can believe it, the Atarri 2600 E.T. is by far the best E.T. game I've played! Granted, its still not good at all, but it at least had some... strange ambition with its attempt to be an early adventure game, it probably would have turned out fine if the game wasn't rushed considering the same designer made one of the best Atari 2600 games as well, Yar's Revenge.
Now I haven't played every ET game so I guess this is premature, but besides the infamous Atari 2600 game, I've played E.T. for the Game Boy Advance, E.T. Interplanentarry Mission for the Playstation, and E.T. and the Cosmic Garden for the Game Boy Color. They're all extremely dull, poorly controlling overhead games where you collect flowers. Seriously, they're more dull than the 2600 game!
While not a serires, I gotta give a special shoutout to the CDi Zelda games, which control like absoloute dogshit. The 2D side scrolling CDi games are already infamous for being terrible, but Zelda's Adventure is even WORSE imo. In fact, Zelda's Adventure may be the single worst game I've ever played! Imagine a 2D Zelda game where each screen scroll has an excruciating load time, nonsensical voice acting, and items that don't do ANYTHING. It's a shitshow of a game, one I'd only wish on my worst enemies.
As for single games, Sonic 06 may seem like an obvious choice for me... but as trash as that game is, it's so horrendous that its extremely funny to watch someone else play it, so I'd compare Sonic 06 more to The Room than anything else I've mentioned!
Finally, shout out to how bad Super Mario Bros. Special is, the only mainline Mario platformer I'd call bad. I guess the Sharp X1 version is a bit better than the PC-99 version, but seriously look at this garbage!
Super Mario 64 DS is a really interesting remix of Super Mario 64. I wouldn't say its better due to the lack of anolog controrls (though some hacks fix that, check them out!) and the weird pacing due to multiple characters at times. However, the multiple characters ARE an interestng twist on Super Mario 64 (especially Wario, whose fat ass makes the game MUCH harder lol), a lot of new stars, well designed new secret levels, and better looking graphics than the original game. While I think the original is the better balanced game, the remake is still a must-play for anyone whose a fan of the original!
As for the Switch game, it's fine. It's basically Shindou Super Mario 64 but in HD and use of LUA hacks to translate the game on the fly. I wish there were more quality of life improvements like 60 FPS for the Switch version, but otherwise, and I know speedrunners miss the insanity of backwards long jumps... but otherwise, it's the same Super Mario 64 I know and love, but in a more convinent form on the Switch, so it's probably my favorite version!
As for weirdest dreams... god that sounds like an impossible question to answer, but I still think one of the weirdest dreams I had was when my 3DS mega evolved into Albert Enstein, which somehow caused a time paradox!
I think the best dram I had was actually a fairly simple one I had as a child: in this dream, I jumped out of a window, and started to fly around space (for some reason my house was orbiting Earth). For what felt like eons, I simply just flew around to other planets in our solar system, explored them, then decided to fly to planets outside of our solar system, and observe the life there. A particularly memorable part of the dream was where I found a a ship orbitting a Dyson Sphere , and communicatd with an alien child with some sort of sign language through a window. This dream has stuck with me for a really long time!
As for most cursed dream... In a vacuum, I'd say the "mIRC logo chases and rapes me" dream would be, but that one has become a huge meme on Smogon, so its more of a blursed dream! Instead, I think the most cursed dream I ever had, was a dream I had when I was a teenager, where I was strapped to an opperating table, and a man just repeatedly keeps punching me in the throat, as I struggle to breath. Sounds like a simple nightmare right? Well this is what put it over the top for me was that I actually awoke with a serious asthma attack, and had to be taken to the hosptial. I may have been having an asthma attack in my sleep, and the nightmare being so awful may have saved my life!
Have you ever researched techniques for lucid dreaming? Suppose you had this power during the infamous mIRC dream - how would you have changed it?
Do you have a preferred name for a hypothetical future son and why is it Mario?
What is your PIN number?
Do you have a preferred name for a hypothetical future son and why is it Mario?
What is your PIN number?
Time to put my metaphorical money where my mouth is, time to answer the rest of the questions so far!
However, I got something cool to make up for this! I would suggest checking out 4 Years Of Mario Maker. This is a bit of a misnormer: Mario Maker actually turned 5 this year, but no one really got to celebrate the 4th anniversary because of Mario Maker 2. What's within here, is a large amount of extremely creative and fun levels that some of the community's best makers have done. Special shout out to the Lemmy's brain level, an insane level where you preform "brain surgery" on Lemmy the Koopaling. It's a crazy level that employs a lot of visual tricks and puzzles that makes you feel like you're really playing some sort of odd, Mario X Psychonauts game!
Does Pizza count as baked goods, because it's that! OK since I imagine that was not the answer you were searching for... probably cake with lemon filling! I always requested that on my birthday parties as a child, and its also highly associated with a bunch of games that were the "big birthday presents' for me, such as Super Mario All-Stars + Super Mario Land + Super Mario Land 2 (seriously I got all of those on the same birthday lol), Kirby's Dreamland 3, Paper Mario, etc.
Nintendo Branching Out
I think this is mostly a good thing compared to the last time they tried it in the late 1980s to early 1990s. See, this form of Nintendo isn't new per se: a major growth factor in Nintendo of America was Donkey Kong licensing such as this piece of merch from 1982, which seems to be the first time Pauline was ever mentioned by her name!
this figure sorta illustrates the issues Nintendo would run into for their early push: A lot of their attempts to branch out into early mediums were of a similar quality to this figure! Mario and Zelda had multiple cartoons for example, and they ranged from "so bad they're good" like the Super Show, to really gnarly trash. Nintendo used to have a really hands off approach when they went into mediums that weren't traditional video games, and the results weren't good.
In comparison to now, Nintendo is notorious for being extremely conrolling for their pushes into new mediums now. For example, Nintndo pushed for making their Lego set a unique interactive experience (and one I want to get, IDK how many of you know this but I already love Lego lol). And, while a less modern example, Sakurai was directly in charge of the Kirby anime, and it showed: The Japanese version at the very least (I got some issues with the dub even if there's some hilarrious voices in it) nailed the license because Nintendo and HAL were so heavily involved. I have hops that the Super Mario Movie will hit a similar quality level of that at least!
I will say that I'm less hot on Nintendo's mobile games though. I actually enjoy Super Mario Run quite a bit and still play it, but the rest of the Nintendo mobile catalog focuses on gacha mechanics, which I really tend to detest so I haven't had much fun with them, unfortunately! I guess my favorite would be Super Mario Run just because it gave me a fun new Mario game to play!
Puerto Rican Food
This is actually an easy answer, that'd have to be pernil! For those of you that don't want to read the Wikipedia link: the best way to describe it is that it's slow cooked ham that has little holes cut into it. These little cuts (which are made before its cooked) are filled with sofrito. Sofrito is... I find the best way to describe it is a mixture of a lot of spcies and good vegetables, mainly peppers, garlic, Pernil is filled with this stuff, then slow cooked for.. about a day I think? However, its then cooked again so that the skin is nice and crispy.
I swear to god its the best god damn pork dish that exists out there. It takes a lot of work, so it's not like I can have pernil often, but its the highlight of the day when I'm lucky enough to have it! My grandma makes pernil every time I go vist her in Arizona, so I heavily associate it as a christmas dinner. Both my mom and grandma are masters at making this stuff I swear!
mIRC Logo and Dating
Unfortunately, we broke up as soon as I woke up from that shitty dream lmao.
Health vs Science
This is probably the hardest question of the thread! See, I actually have a phobia of death, nothing gives me more fear than the idea of not existing anymore. And yet, my passion for science is a major part of how I define myself. After about 2 days of thinking about this question, I believe that my passion of science is too intergal to my character. So, if I were to trade that for better health, then I'd be a completely different person.
What kind of person would I become? I'm not quite sure. In fact, for all I know, my quality of life might increase! However, as much of a cop-out as this might seem, I'd be such a different person, that removing my passion of science might as well be killing me anyways. So I guess I care more about my personality than my health, which is a rare statement for me!
Game Boy Light
I bought this for 80 US dollars. Pricey for just playing OG Game Boy games in the dark, but I love the thing! I mostly got it to complete my collection of Game Boys (well types of them anyways, I don't have anywhere near every Game Boy edition lmao), but the glowy monochrome screen is a pleasure to look at in the dark!
This controller is really cool! See, it was made for paralyzed kids so they too could play video games! The joystick is controlled with your chin, and there's a little straw that could be your A or B button depending on wether you sucked or blowed in it! I've wanted one for a long time because I really want to do a Super Mario Bros run with it, but the controller is extremely rare and expensive, so I've never gotten the chance. I guess I'll just have to settle for silly runs like "I beat Super Mario Bros with my feet" for now. BTW, I would not suggest you do that unless you're prepared for sore feet!
See, at first you'd think the obvious answer for a dude would be "the mouth!" But now that I think about it, the mIRC logo sorta looks like Pac-man. You know what Pac-man does? He chomps down on stuff! Frankly, that's the last thing I want any genitals to be experiencing. So, for lack of better options, i guess I'm gonna say the letter m because it looks like a booty!
I actually haven't really looked to deeply into how to lucid dream, it just sorta happens with me, though I notice that a lot of my wacky dreams seem to be infulenced by something I've done recently, so that might be something! Now, if I had that power during that mIRC dream: I'd probably kick it in the mouth instead of letting it get to me I guess!
Child
Shockingly enough, I haven't really thought about that, because I figure that's the kind of discussion I'd have with a future-wife. If Mario fits, I guess I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I'm more likely to name a son or daugther after a famous scienist. Think Albert, Marie, Richard, Issac, etc.
Pin Number
My pin number is 1234. With it, you will access my secret collection of Count Von Count fanfiction.
My favorite SMB 35 match actually happend a few days after the game came out! I had a match where I defeated famous Super Mario Speed runner and Super Mario Maker player, The Dragon Feeny, who was featured in the Nintendo World Championships for Super Mario Maker 2! For the whole match, you can click here too (if you want to see where I am, the first link has the final two though). The best way to describe this match was... it was a volly of Bowser hell! We eveidently had multiple players with multi-targeting on, so as a result, there was a moment in the match where the screen was FILLED with Bowsers! It was an extremely dangerous scenario, and the match lasted almost 20 mintues long. Intense stuff, and its a major reason why I'm so hooked on SMB35!
2D Vs 3D Mario
So before I answer this question, I'm going to actually reveal my as of 2020, top 10 Mario list, as it should give some good insight into this question!
1. Super Mario Galaxy 2
2. Super Mario 3D World
3. New Super Mario Bros U
4. New Super Mario Bros Wii
5. Super Mario Bros 3
6. Super Mario Galaxy
7. Super Mario World
8. Super Mario Odyssey
9. Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
10. Super Mario Bros
So from this list, I guess my preference can be sorta hard to ascertain: my top two Mario games are 3D Mario games, and yet after that you get 3 2D Marios in a row! There is a reason for this list though: my prefered Maro games are actually linear Mario games, with Super Mario Odyssey being an exception of sorts.
My reasoning for this is because linear Mario games are much more focused on the platforming aspects of Mario. To be clear, Mario is more than just platforming: the excellent controls of most of the games and stunning level design are other major aspects of Mario, I just prefer those two things to be married with focus platforming!
In particular, linear Mario games can have such focused level design that they can explore an entire concept, then provide a TWIST on that concept in the same level. The top 4 Mario games on my list in particular excell at this approach to level design. Even Super Mario Odyssey, which I put a bit lower on the list since it's more of a sandbox Mario game, employs this a bit in its more linear sub-levels!
Now to really answer your question though: Since I prefer linear Mario, I guess 2D Mario wins this question despite two 3D Mario games actually being my favorite games of all time, since 2D Mario on average, employs the linear level design I crave more than 3D Mario.
Mario Tape
Oh that looks awesome! My best guess on what that is: It's probably a video taped preview of Super Mario All-Stars. Nintendo used to do that a lot around the world. For example, here in the U.S., sometimes I'd get Nintendo Power previews in the mail. That's actually how I first learnd about Banjo-Kazooie for example! I also remember getting a Gamecube Preview DVD from game kisoks that'd hype up stuff like Super Mario Sunshine.
First off: while I never played Bucky O'Hare, but looking it up, hearing the phrase "it's a Mega Man-like game from Konami" means I have to play it at some point holy shit.
But anyways, this is probably the least shocking thing you could imagine but: my favorite NES game is Super Mario Bros 3!
Super Mario Bros 3 is easily one of the best platformers ever made in my opinion. A major reason for this is the sheer variety in level design. Super Mario Bros 3 has this approach to level design that's unique even within Mario games, where you're given almost 100 short, rapid fire levels that are usually built around one concept. These concpets are often simple such as say "this is an underground stage where you must use buzzy beetles to break bricks", or "this is a semi-aquatic stage where you're chased by a big bertha". These concepts may be simple compared to say, the length of a Mega Man stage, but there's so god damn many of them and so many unique ideas in these rapid fire stages, that Super Mario Bros 3 never gets old to me!
This isn't to say Super Mario Bros 3 is perfect, mind you: one problem with its rapid fire idea school of level design, is that since ideas don't have room develop compared to say, New Super Mario Bros Wii, that means if a level idea isn't that great, the whole level might bomb. See for example, the fortress in World 3, which is just a dumb pick a door maze, or world 6-5's infamous "fly with a koopa shell to beat the entire level" stage. Also, while this is actually a plus for me, Super Mario Bros 3 does NOT mess around diffculty wise. Some of the harder levels can get damn near lost levels tier if you refuse to use items! The difficulty curve is pretty masterful though, the game eases you into its biggest challenges fairly well.
I could seriously write an entire thread singing the praises of Super Mario Bros 3, but to sum it up: It's mixture of excellent rapid-fire level design, creativity, and great controls make it not only my favorite NES game, but one of my favorite games ever made!
Tips on Collecting
So first off: Most of the crazy shit like the Sharp Twin Famicom, I got off of eBay. Your region may vary, but I find eBay is just an easy place to find old game stuff. I should ask my brother later about where he shops though, because sometimes he gets stuff from classic game stores online. I think for eBay at least, make sure you do some price comparing: it's not uncommon for sellers to attempt to rip you off!
As for offline video game collecting: well that's certainly more diffiuclt during a pandemic, so I'd be careful about that! Before the pandemic though, I often hit thrift stores and antique shops, sometimes I'd find some really good stuff there! For example, I got my copy of the SNES Chrono Trigger for about 5 bucks in a thrift store. Somtimes you find some extremely strange stuff in thrift stores too... For example, I have to share this hilarious bootleg console I got, it looks like a dumb laptop! I've never actually hooked it up, but it seems like it accepts Famicom catridges?
However, this election season in the US might be the biggest circus I've ever lived through in this country's history. A large part of that is due to Donald Trump being an insane gas-lighting idiot near constantly. Seriously, the dude does not shut the fuck up, even when he's lost the election!
Hmm... if I find myself in a situation where I'm unlikely to survive, then sure, I might as well have sex with a stranger because it may be my last time doing it! If it's an apocalypse I'm likely to survive though, say, stuck in a bunker... I still wouldn't mind having sex with a stranger I guess, but I'd probably not want them to be a complete stranger!
Favorite games
Oooh good question! I got a lot of favorite games in different gernes. I'm not gonna give them each a HUGE description (I gotta answer everyone's questions after all), but I'll give a quickish lowdown on why each game is there! I also can't include every gerne, there's too many of those, but tthis should be a lot!
Open World Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
This isn't exactly a shocking choice, is it? The unparalled freedom and scope in this game got me hooked in a way no other Zelda game ever could! It isn't perfect (looking at you, dungeons), but the open world more than made that up for me! For the record, before this game. GTA V was my favorite open world game.
Shoot em up: Touhou 8: Imperishable Night
Something I don't think I've made clear in this well yet is: I fucking LOVE Touhou games! They have this perfect concoction of addictive bullet hell gameplay, fucking incredible music, and funny characters that just gels perfectly with me! The music in paritcular, is so god damn good that I often find myself just... listening to random Touhou remixes on youtube whenever I'm doing anything mundane! I honesly love pretty much all the Touhou games, but I'm giving Imperishable Night a special menton here because I particularly love the character switching mechanic in this one!
This was still a tough choice though, I actually love a lot of shootemups... I gotta give a special shouttout to Konami shooters like Twinbee, Parodius, Gradius, Xexex, and Contra. i think Konami was the classic king of shootemups, hard to go wrong with them!
Rail Shooter: Star Fox 64 3D
It was between this game and Sin & Punishment 2. The latter is the meatier game, but Star Fox 64's insane replayablity wins out for now. I love the scoring system in this game that rewards well placed charge shots, the level design is good at keeping you on your toes, and the boss design is almost uniformly excellent. While Star Fox 64 is short, its branching paths make it highly replayable. Also of note: I have a lot of nostalgia for this game's N64 incarnation, so I'm a bit biased! The writing in this game is hilariously cheesy as well, I'm just imagining "MY EMPEROR, I'VE FAAAILLLED YOUUUUUU" as I type this up!
I have a preference for the 3DS version though, despite preferring the N64 version's voice acting, just because the 3DS version has a more consistent framerate.
Single Player First Person Shooter: Doom
Doom is a pretty classic, old choice for a first person shooter, but I just love its level design and encounter design! Note that I mean tthe original Doom, but I enjoy all the mainline Doom games quite a bit!
Multiplayer First Person Shooter: Team Fortress 2
While I've played other multiplayer FPS before, TF2 is the only online one I REALLY got hooked on. I found all of the classes to be a lot of fun to play as, the diversity in game modes made me play for over 1000 hours, and I love the crazy modding community this game has had!
Third Person Shooter: Resident Evil 4
This may seem like a bit of an archaic choice for a 3rd person shooter, but jesus christ the pacing in this game is OFF THE CHARTS! Resident Evil 4 is always so damn good at making you want to push foward, each room is like a new well designed mini scenario to get through. Sure, not being able to move and shoot at the same time may seem out of date, but the game is designed very well around this, so I wouldn't change it! There's also the mercenaries, which is an addictive side mode I still play from time to time.
Survival Horror: Silent Hill
I actually haven't played this game in a really long time, but the forebiding atmosphere really left an impact on me as a kid. The game is pretty good at making you feel totally helpless, and the lo-fi Playstation graphics actually make this game seem scarier to me. I REALLY need to replay it because I've forgotton so much though... maybe next Halloween!
Metroidvania: Super Metroid
There's lots of Metroidvanias out there, bu Super Metroid not only takes the cake for my favorite Meroidvania, but is also my favorite non-Mario universe game ever! Despite being one of the first Metroidvanias, the map game in this game is absoloutly SUPERB! The game is also full of little sequence breaks, both intentional and un-intentional, that make replaying this game a lot of fun. Also, fun fact: this game is my brother's favorite game of all time!
Immersive Sim: Deus Ex
Another hold choice. Immersive sims are one of those weird hybrid gernes like Metroidvanias, but basically they're highly interactive first person games where decsions matter. And damn, Deus Ex makes that kind of stuff a LOT of fun! There's so many ways you can complete a given mission, and many branching paths, secrets, and even computers to hack into! You can choose to kill almost everything you see like a total psychopath (even children!), but you can also choose to not kill a single god damn person. It's a ton of fun to mess around with this game, I replay it a lot!
Stealth Game: Metal Gear Solid 3
Look I love the cheesy thrill of most Metal Gear game, but I have to give MGS3 the edge because of the cleverly implemented survival mechanics combined with sublime stealth. This is actually probably my 2nd favorite PS2 game (my favorite one... you'll find out later!)
Single Player JRPG: Mother 3
I've always been a big fan of the Earthbound series, but Mother 3 surpasses even Earthbound for me. The raw emotion of this game is powerful, for lack of better words without spoiling. Like Earthbound, its a funny game, but it also takes cues from Earthbound Beginings, in that the game has no problems with these strong, emotional gut punches coming out of nowhere. If I'm being honest... this is the only video game that got me to outright cry at the end of it. It's an incredible finale to the Mother Trilogy, and is a must play for any self-respecting fans of RPGs imo. Thank goodness for that excellent fan translation!
Multiplayer RPG: Pokemon Ultra Sun and Pokemon Ultra Moon
I mean... I'm on a competitive Pokemon website, this had to be somewhere! USUM might be sorta an odd choice, but let me explain: I've mostly transitioned to playing Pokemon on cartridge, and of the cart metas, Ultra Sun and Moon had my favorite metagam of that era, with a great combination of diversity and stabiliy that satisfied me the whole generation. Plus, it had some really wacky tournaments and special ladders like the level 1 ladder that were a ton of fun! I'd actually give this to Sword and Shield, but unfortunately due to the Dynamax mechanic, I put it below USUM and ORAS.
WRPG: Fallout New Vegas
I don't play a whole ton of western RPGs (though I bet I'd love Mass Effect if I'd play it some more...), but for now, Fallout New Vegas tops that list for me. Yeah it's a bit rough around the edges, but Obsidian did an INCREDIBLE job on the quest design for this game. Many quests have radically different endings depending on your choices, and the script for this game is WAY better than Bethesda written Fallouts, with witty writing and amusing options depending on your stats (for example, low intelligence characters sometimes have stupid things to say if I remember correctly!). Post apocalyptic Nevada is also a ton of fun to explore.
Beat em up: Kirby Superstar Ultra
Ooooh boy this is gonna be a real controversial call (in fact I can already hear my brother getting prepared to smack me for not saying its Streets of Rage 2)! So lemme explain: Some people view Kirby as a platformer, but you do way more combat than platforming, so I'm inclined to call most Kirby games brawlers with platforming elements.
Anyways, Kirby Superstar Ultra is a pretty easy game, which is pretty unusual for beatumups. So why does it top them for me? Simply because, Kirby Superstar Ultra makes you feel like a FUCKING GOD as you just... obilerate enemies with Kirby's absurd toolset. Seriously, this game becomes an incredible time with a friend when you just experiment with how destructive you can get with copy abilites. The game has a shocking amount of depth too with its copy abilities, you'd be surprised how satisfying single ability runs in the arena can get for example! I will say, Kirby Star Allies actually gets close for me just because of its well executed arena mode, and Planet Robobot has a really insane campagin for a Kirby game, but Kirby Superstar Ultra is more well rounded than either of those imo!
Character Action (AKA 3D beat em up): Bayonetta 2
I love me some Platinum Games, and Bayonetta 2 is one of the most bonkers games I've ever played. This game is almost always firing all cylinders, with even the boss of the TUTORIAL feeling like it should be some fucking final boss in most games, but no this game is like "that's the begining!" I will admit I find Bayonetta 1's final boss sorta crazier than Bayonetta 2, and I won't deny that Bayonetta 1 has more challenge in its combat system than Bayonetta 2, but Bayonetta 2 also removes a lot of the worst parts of Bayonetta like instakill QTEs, so I think I prefer this one!
Pinball: Devil's Crush
I alluded to this in an earlier post here when I talked about the PC Engine, but I gotta talk about this more. Devil's Crush is a satantic themed pinball game. Yeah seriously, and it fucking rules! It's far from realitic pinball, but the physics are convincing enough as you kill hordes of undead and demons with your ball, and the flow of the table makes the game really hard to put down. It also helps that the music and visuals just make it metal as fuck, I often forget I'm even playing pinball!
Maze: Ms. Pacman
Ms. Pacman may seem like a bland choice compared to say... Pacman Championship, but Ms Pacman's simplicty actually wins out for me. There may not be much to the game: eat the dots and fruit, get a power pellet to eat ghosts... but that's ok, because its got an addicive core gameplay loop that I still have zero issues pumping quarters into! I actually prefer Ms. Pacman to the original Pacman just because Ms. Pacman has more than one maze and less predictable ghost behavior that makes it more challenging. To be clear though, I find most Pacman games to be very enjoyable!
Puzzle: Tetris
I realize I should probably include multiple different puzzle gernes, but this list is massive and... come on how the hell do you beat Tetris? It's as simple as a game can get, but the dopamine rush when you clear a line or get a tetris is damn near impossible to beat. Honestly... while I'd hesitate to call it my favorite game ever, I do think it's probably as close to perfect of a video game as you can get!
Racing: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
I'm not super into more realistic racing games with a few exceptions (I love Burnout and the Forza Horizon games!), but damn Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is just no contest for me, the sheer variety in racetrack design makes it a clear winner for me.
Board Game: Mario Party Series
I have a hard time choosing my favorite Mario Party (though I can say that Mario Party 9 and 10 suck ass), because to me, the best part about Mario Party is less the game, and more the social experince it gives you. These are the perfect trash talking bullshit games. While you are rewarded with skill, the game has enough luck where anyone can win it, so it's perfect for playing a game with friends without getting in that "it's no fun to beat them so easily" zone.
Minigame Compilation: Wario Ware Gold
I actually think minigame compilations are a legit gerne unlike some folks, and few series do that better for me than Wario Ware games. The quickfire rapid microgames are great at keeping you on your toes, and I give Wario Ware Gold the top spot for the sheer insane variety it offers, it uses pretty much every feature of the 3DS in some way! Wario Ware Twisted gets a close second because it actually has some of the best motion controls of any game... which is crazy since its a GBA game! I also have to give a shotout to Wii Sports Resort, which is probably my non Wario-ware runner up due to the depth of the minigames it offers.
Rhythm Game: Rhythm Heaven Gold
I mean if I'm gonna mention Wario Ware Gold, how the hell can I not mention this gem? To be clear, I like plenty of other rhythm games, such as Dance Dance Revolution or Hatsune Miku Project Diva, but Rhythm Heaven Gold wins out for me because the sheer diversity of its scenarios and how it redefines what a rhythm game is, makes it endlessly entertaining to me!
Pong: Video Olympics / Pong Sports
Yeah I went there: I consider Pong to be its own genre! Pong games are actually fairly unique in this day and age, and it's not because they're over 40 years old: their use of a "paddle" control (basically a dial) gives them a unique and extremely percise sense of control that you can't really experience in today's games. My favorite probably has to be Video Olypmics (also known as Pong Sports) for the Atari 2600, since it offers a ton of variety in its modes, making for some fun competiton!
Katamari: We Love Katamari
OK if I can bullshit Pong into its own genre, then I can do that with Katamari, because how the hell do I even classify this game?! Oh yeah, hot take time: this is actually my favorite PS2 game! Rolling up stuff never gets old for me. The game has a shocking amount of comedy in its item placements too, with references to plenty of silly things like fairy tales, movies, etc. I love most Katamari games, but We Love Katamari has the most diverse selection of tasks to choose from, so I give this the edge, with Katamari Forever on the PS3 getting a close second place!
Life Sim: Animal Crossing New Horizons
I swear to god this game made me sane during the first Covid-19 wave. Why fuck around in real life when Animal Crossing is better? I actually don't have that much to say about this, besides the fact that I basically played this every day for 3 months. I haven't played this since June, so my town is probably weed hell, but I'll return to it sometime soon...
Fashion: Stye Savvy Trendsetters
You may be thinking "WTF YOU LIKE FASHION GAMES?!" Well... this is the only one I've played, and yeah I guess I do now! Long story short, I found this game in a fleamarket, and I know its a 3DS game Nintendo published, so I figured "ah what the hell, its 5 bucks". So I gave it a try... and I was fucking hooked for like a montth straight. Turns out, dressing up customers the way they want is actually a shockingly good time! I'm gonna have to get the other games in this series later, it clearly resonated with me in unexpected ways!
Tennis: Mario Tennis Aces
OK since I mentioned Pong I have to menton its more fighting-game like equvilant, Mario Tennis Aces! Mario Tennis Aces is actually fairly simple, but the mind games it presentts you with the different types of shots you can make, make this fairly enjoyable imo!
Basketball: NBA Jam
I haven't actually played this in a realllly long time, but me and my friends used to play the Sega Genesis version of this a lot. I think I prefer the more arcadey nature to it compared to say, NBA 2K games.
Adventure: Moon
This is actually a game I waited around 2 decades to finally come out in English. It's a strange Playstation 1 game (with a Switch port that's in English!) where you're a child sucked into an RPG. This isn't actually an RPG though, this is more akin to something like Grim Fandango: an adventure game where you solve problems. There's a day/night cycle and week system akin to Majora's Mask, and frankly the writing is some of the best I've ever encountered in a video game.
If I'm being honest, Moon would actually be my game of the year if it weren't for Super Mario Bros 35!
Visual Novel: Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
I LOVE me some Phoenix Wright! The combination of over the top characters, investigation, and absurd court procedures is an intoxiccating mixture for me that I'm always up for! I actually love all of them, but I put Trials and Tribulations on the top just for the insane final case. Also, fun fact: this is my mom's favorite video game series!
Text Adventure: Kentucky Route Zero
Calling Kentucky Route Zero a text adventure may be a bit of a stretch (since there are actual visuals sometimes), but I have no idea what the hell else to call this incredible game! The best way to describe this game is that umm... you have a delivery of antique furniture to make, and this spirals into an unforgetable journey accoss strange lands wth strange characters. I don't want to say much more because I REALLY don't want to spoil this (the final episode came out this year, and its basically for all the modern consoles including the Switch). But seriously do yourself a favor: if you like novels, GET THIS GAME, the prose honestly feels like its from a good, sureal book! Unlike a book though, this game also pulls some stunts that can only work in video games too!
Light Gun Game: House of the Dead 2
I love the cheesy thrills of playing this game in the arcades! All you do is simple: you grab the plastic gun off the arcade machine, aim at the zombies, then blow their head off! There actually isn't a lot more to it than that, but its simple and addictive. Any time I see this arcade machine around, I know its time to burn through some tokens!
Educational Game: Typing of the Dead
Remember how i said I loved House of the Dead 2? My parents realized that, so they figured they could weaponize it into learning by getting me a Sega Dreamcast keyboard and Typing of the Dead... and it worked! You know why I type so fast? You can blame this game! See, Typing of the Dead is basically House of the Dead 2, except instead of pointing a gun at zombies, you blow their heads off by typing fast and accurately! I got massively hooked on this game, AND it helped me finish homework faster. If your child can handle the cheesy blood and gore of this game (your mileage may varry a lot there lmao), this is a good way to teach them how to type imo. It also helps that even outside of the educuational part, it's still House of the Dead, so it's a ton of fun even if you're already good at typing!
There's even more genres of games out there, but that's it for now, I typed too much lmao
Leaderboards
My top placement on a leaderboard has been #1 of course! This has mostly been on Pokemon ladders at some point or another, but I want to share two memorable instances!
Ultra Final Online Competiton
This might be my produest one: this was the final offical competiton for Ultra Sun and Moon that Gamefreak hosted. It meant a lot to me since I had a ton of fun with gen 7, and this was sorta a farewell to my beloved Ubers since I figured dexit would snap most of them (not like we knew about the Crown Tundra yet!). I ended up winning shockingly enough! If you want more info, I discuss the metagame in the RMT I made for it.
Super Mario Maker
As for the other one, I was for a short period of time, #1 in the weekly likes leaderboard for Super Mario Maker 1 I believe. It was with a level I made thatt went viral. It's a weird creepypasta level of sorts, here's a video of it below!
Classic Literature
This is a shockingly easy choice, and no its not actually scifi! My choice would be Pale Fire, a book written by Vladimir Nabokov (most famous for the book Lolita). This is a highly unusual novel, that first "starts" out with a 999 line poem. Then, at first this starts to seem like a non-fictional account about the poem, with commentary by "Charles Kintobe". Without spoiling anything... Charles Kintobe is a really weird guy, so the goal of the novel is to figure out what's up with him.
But see, this is where Pale Fire really grips me: it takes such graceful advantage of its printed medium, that it's unadaptable. Seriously, a movie about this book would be totally nonsensical! See, this is the only novel I've read that's NONLINEAR! Let me explain here: theres indexes, cross references to other parts of the book or lines in the poem, etc. Sorta like real commentary. But the trick here is that Charles Kintobe is... not particularly sane, so there's a story to unravel here!
Now of course, you can just read it straight through like a novel: that's what I did when I first read it. But see, this novel has fucking REREAD VALUE. You can read it again, start cross referencing the index, what Kintobe says, and the poem, and you find out more about this guy. You can make your own conclusions about things this way (Nabokov himself has his own ideas!). Despite being published in the 1960s, this book almost feels like some sort of ARG. But see, its so well written (which isn't shocking, Vladimir Nabokov is a master of writing if you've ever read Lolita before) that this isn't jsome stupid internet game, it's also a well written, satirical novel that takes jabs at the VERY PEOPLE who dare to analyze it!
Seriously, give this book a try sometime if you've never read it, few books make a case for the unqiuness of the printed medium than this one!
Sleepover
I mean once this pandemic is over, sure I might. I want to start meeting Smogoners in real life sometime.
Unfortanately, I haven' really played any Superworlds worth playing, as I've mostly been focused on building my own levels (which tend to take a lot of time, hell I have two levels in beta right now lol), or playing stuff on reddit level trade threads and the likes.
However, I got something cool to make up for this! I would suggest checking out 4 Years Of Mario Maker. This is a bit of a misnormer: Mario Maker actually turned 5 this year, but no one really got to celebrate the 4th anniversary because of Mario Maker 2. What's within here, is a large amount of extremely creative and fun levels that some of the community's best makers have done. Special shout out to the Lemmy's brain level, an insane level where you preform "brain surgery" on Lemmy the Koopaling. It's a crazy level that employs a lot of visual tricks and puzzles that makes you feel like you're really playing some sort of odd, Mario X Psychonauts game!
Baked Goods
Does Pizza count as baked goods, because it's that! OK since I imagine that was not the answer you were searching for... probably cake with lemon filling! I always requested that on my birthday parties as a child, and its also highly associated with a bunch of games that were the "big birthday presents' for me, such as Super Mario All-Stars + Super Mario Land + Super Mario Land 2 (seriously I got all of those on the same birthday lol), Kirby's Dreamland 3, Paper Mario, etc.
Nintendo Branching Out
I think this is mostly a good thing compared to the last time they tried it in the late 1980s to early 1990s. See, this form of Nintendo isn't new per se: a major growth factor in Nintendo of America was Donkey Kong licensing such as this piece of merch from 1982, which seems to be the first time Pauline was ever mentioned by her name!
this figure sorta illustrates the issues Nintendo would run into for their early push: A lot of their attempts to branch out into early mediums were of a similar quality to this figure! Mario and Zelda had multiple cartoons for example, and they ranged from "so bad they're good" like the Super Show, to really gnarly trash. Nintendo used to have a really hands off approach when they went into mediums that weren't traditional video games, and the results weren't good.
In comparison to now, Nintendo is notorious for being extremely conrolling for their pushes into new mediums now. For example, Nintndo pushed for making their Lego set a unique interactive experience (and one I want to get, IDK how many of you know this but I already love Lego lol). And, while a less modern example, Sakurai was directly in charge of the Kirby anime, and it showed: The Japanese version at the very least (I got some issues with the dub even if there's some hilarrious voices in it) nailed the license because Nintendo and HAL were so heavily involved. I have hops that the Super Mario Movie will hit a similar quality level of that at least!
I will say that I'm less hot on Nintendo's mobile games though. I actually enjoy Super Mario Run quite a bit and still play it, but the rest of the Nintendo mobile catalog focuses on gacha mechanics, which I really tend to detest so I haven't had much fun with them, unfortunately! I guess my favorite would be Super Mario Run just because it gave me a fun new Mario game to play!
Puerto Rican Food
This is actually an easy answer, that'd have to be pernil! For those of you that don't want to read the Wikipedia link: the best way to describe it is that it's slow cooked ham that has little holes cut into it. These little cuts (which are made before its cooked) are filled with sofrito. Sofrito is... I find the best way to describe it is a mixture of a lot of spcies and good vegetables, mainly peppers, garlic, Pernil is filled with this stuff, then slow cooked for.. about a day I think? However, its then cooked again so that the skin is nice and crispy.
I swear to god its the best god damn pork dish that exists out there. It takes a lot of work, so it's not like I can have pernil often, but its the highlight of the day when I'm lucky enough to have it! My grandma makes pernil every time I go vist her in Arizona, so I heavily associate it as a christmas dinner. Both my mom and grandma are masters at making this stuff I swear!
mIRC Logo and Dating
Unfortunately, we broke up as soon as I woke up from that shitty dream lmao.
Health vs Science
This is probably the hardest question of the thread! See, I actually have a phobia of death, nothing gives me more fear than the idea of not existing anymore. And yet, my passion for science is a major part of how I define myself. After about 2 days of thinking about this question, I believe that my passion of science is too intergal to my character. So, if I were to trade that for better health, then I'd be a completely different person.
What kind of person would I become? I'm not quite sure. In fact, for all I know, my quality of life might increase! However, as much of a cop-out as this might seem, I'd be such a different person, that removing my passion of science might as well be killing me anyways. So I guess I care more about my personality than my health, which is a rare statement for me!
Game Boy Light
I bought this for 80 US dollars. Pricey for just playing OG Game Boy games in the dark, but I love the thing! I mostly got it to complete my collection of Game Boys (well types of them anyways, I don't have anywhere near every Game Boy edition lmao), but the glowy monochrome screen is a pleasure to look at in the dark!
I think you're getting confused wth the NES Hands Free Controller? I don't actually have one of those because they're insanely expensive and rare. I'll share a picture to see if this is what you're talking about though.
This controller is really cool! See, it was made for paralyzed kids so they too could play video games! The joystick is controlled with your chin, and there's a little straw that could be your A or B button depending on wether you sucked or blowed in it! I've wanted one for a long time because I really want to do a Super Mario Bros run with it, but the controller is extremely rare and expensive, so I've never gotten the chance. I guess I'll just have to settle for silly runs like "I beat Super Mario Bros with my feet" for now. BTW, I would not suggest you do that unless you're prepared for sore feet!
I like my steak medium-rare, but both rae and medium are still tasty imo! I dislike well-done because it feels burnt, and blue-rare feels almost like I'm eating raw meat, so no thanks to that either!
Well, lets look at the mIRC Logo for a moment, shall we?
See, at first you'd think the obvious answer for a dude would be "the mouth!" But now that I think about it, the mIRC logo sorta looks like Pac-man. You know what Pac-man does? He chomps down on stuff! Frankly, that's the last thing I want any genitals to be experiencing. So, for lack of better options, i guess I'm gonna say the letter m because it looks like a booty!
Dreams
I actually haven't really looked to deeply into how to lucid dream, it just sorta happens with me, though I notice that a lot of my wacky dreams seem to be infulenced by something I've done recently, so that might be something! Now, if I had that power during that mIRC dream: I'd probably kick it in the mouth instead of letting it get to me I guess!
Child
Shockingly enough, I haven't really thought about that, because I figure that's the kind of discussion I'd have with a future-wife. If Mario fits, I guess I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I'm more likely to name a son or daugther after a famous scienist. Think Albert, Marie, Richard, Issac, etc.
Pin Number
My pin number is 1234. With it, you will access my secret collection of Count Von Count fanfiction.
My tag is an angalmation of two Super Mario RPG quotes from Bowser. The exact quote is "I'm lightning in a bottle! I'm an earthquake in a can!"
SMB 35
My favorite SMB 35 match actually happend a few days after the game came out! I had a match where I defeated famous Super Mario Speed runner and Super Mario Maker player, The Dragon Feeny, who was featured in the Nintendo World Championships for Super Mario Maker 2! For the whole match, you can click here too (if you want to see where I am, the first link has the final two though). The best way to describe this match was... it was a volly of Bowser hell! We eveidently had multiple players with multi-targeting on, so as a result, there was a moment in the match where the screen was FILLED with Bowsers! It was an extremely dangerous scenario, and the match lasted almost 20 mintues long. Intense stuff, and its a major reason why I'm so hooked on SMB35!
2D Vs 3D Mario
So before I answer this question, I'm going to actually reveal my as of 2020, top 10 Mario list, as it should give some good insight into this question!
1. Super Mario Galaxy 2
2. Super Mario 3D World
3. New Super Mario Bros U
4. New Super Mario Bros Wii
5. Super Mario Bros 3
6. Super Mario Galaxy
7. Super Mario World
8. Super Mario Odyssey
9. Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
10. Super Mario Bros
So from this list, I guess my preference can be sorta hard to ascertain: my top two Mario games are 3D Mario games, and yet after that you get 3 2D Marios in a row! There is a reason for this list though: my prefered Maro games are actually linear Mario games, with Super Mario Odyssey being an exception of sorts.
My reasoning for this is because linear Mario games are much more focused on the platforming aspects of Mario. To be clear, Mario is more than just platforming: the excellent controls of most of the games and stunning level design are other major aspects of Mario, I just prefer those two things to be married with focus platforming!
In particular, linear Mario games can have such focused level design that they can explore an entire concept, then provide a TWIST on that concept in the same level. The top 4 Mario games on my list in particular excell at this approach to level design. Even Super Mario Odyssey, which I put a bit lower on the list since it's more of a sandbox Mario game, employs this a bit in its more linear sub-levels!
Now to really answer your question though: Since I prefer linear Mario, I guess 2D Mario wins this question despite two 3D Mario games actually being my favorite games of all time, since 2D Mario on average, employs the linear level design I crave more than 3D Mario.
Mario Tape
Oh that looks awesome! My best guess on what that is: It's probably a video taped preview of Super Mario All-Stars. Nintendo used to do that a lot around the world. For example, here in the U.S., sometimes I'd get Nintendo Power previews in the mail. That's actually how I first learnd about Banjo-Kazooie for example! I also remember getting a Gamecube Preview DVD from game kisoks that'd hype up stuff like Super Mario Sunshine.
Best NES Game
First off: while I never played Bucky O'Hare, but looking it up, hearing the phrase "it's a Mega Man-like game from Konami" means I have to play it at some point holy shit.
But anyways, this is probably the least shocking thing you could imagine but: my favorite NES game is Super Mario Bros 3!
Super Mario Bros 3 is easily one of the best platformers ever made in my opinion. A major reason for this is the sheer variety in level design. Super Mario Bros 3 has this approach to level design that's unique even within Mario games, where you're given almost 100 short, rapid fire levels that are usually built around one concept. These concpets are often simple such as say "this is an underground stage where you must use buzzy beetles to break bricks", or "this is a semi-aquatic stage where you're chased by a big bertha". These concepts may be simple compared to say, the length of a Mega Man stage, but there's so god damn many of them and so many unique ideas in these rapid fire stages, that Super Mario Bros 3 never gets old to me!
This isn't to say Super Mario Bros 3 is perfect, mind you: one problem with its rapid fire idea school of level design, is that since ideas don't have room develop compared to say, New Super Mario Bros Wii, that means if a level idea isn't that great, the whole level might bomb. See for example, the fortress in World 3, which is just a dumb pick a door maze, or world 6-5's infamous "fly with a koopa shell to beat the entire level" stage. Also, while this is actually a plus for me, Super Mario Bros 3 does NOT mess around diffculty wise. Some of the harder levels can get damn near lost levels tier if you refuse to use items! The difficulty curve is pretty masterful though, the game eases you into its biggest challenges fairly well.
I could seriously write an entire thread singing the praises of Super Mario Bros 3, but to sum it up: It's mixture of excellent rapid-fire level design, creativity, and great controls make it not only my favorite NES game, but one of my favorite games ever made!
Tips on Collecting
So first off: Most of the crazy shit like the Sharp Twin Famicom, I got off of eBay. Your region may vary, but I find eBay is just an easy place to find old game stuff. I should ask my brother later about where he shops though, because sometimes he gets stuff from classic game stores online. I think for eBay at least, make sure you do some price comparing: it's not uncommon for sellers to attempt to rip you off!
As for offline video game collecting: well that's certainly more diffiuclt during a pandemic, so I'd be careful about that! Before the pandemic though, I often hit thrift stores and antique shops, sometimes I'd find some really good stuff there! For example, I got my copy of the SNES Chrono Trigger for about 5 bucks in a thrift store. Somtimes you find some extremely strange stuff in thrift stores too... For example, I have to share this hilarious bootleg console I got, it looks like a dumb laptop! I've never actually hooked it up, but it seems like it accepts Famicom catridges?
I'm gonna answer both these questions at once since they're related! Yes, I would agree that the US was already a giant circus. There's plenty of insanely stupid events that have happened in our history before Donald Trump even existed, such as the Canning of Charles Summer , an event that you could call a preview for the civil war and showed how far racists would go to protect their horrible views. The country I live in is just full of stupid moments like that, that severely derail the country.
However, this election season in the US might be the biggest circus I've ever lived through in this country's history. A large part of that is due to Donald Trump being an insane gas-lighting idiot near constantly. Seriously, the dude does not shut the fuck up, even when he's lost the election!
Strangers and sex in the apocalypse
Hmm... if I find myself in a situation where I'm unlikely to survive, then sure, I might as well have sex with a stranger because it may be my last time doing it! If it's an apocalypse I'm likely to survive though, say, stuck in a bunker... I still wouldn't mind having sex with a stranger I guess, but I'd probably not want them to be a complete stranger!
Favorite games
Oooh good question! I got a lot of favorite games in different gernes. I'm not gonna give them each a HUGE description (I gotta answer everyone's questions after all), but I'll give a quickish lowdown on why each game is there! I also can't include every gerne, there's too many of those, but tthis should be a lot!
Open World Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
This isn't exactly a shocking choice, is it? The unparalled freedom and scope in this game got me hooked in a way no other Zelda game ever could! It isn't perfect (looking at you, dungeons), but the open world more than made that up for me! For the record, before this game. GTA V was my favorite open world game.
Shoot em up: Touhou 8: Imperishable Night
Something I don't think I've made clear in this well yet is: I fucking LOVE Touhou games! They have this perfect concoction of addictive bullet hell gameplay, fucking incredible music, and funny characters that just gels perfectly with me! The music in paritcular, is so god damn good that I often find myself just... listening to random Touhou remixes on youtube whenever I'm doing anything mundane! I honesly love pretty much all the Touhou games, but I'm giving Imperishable Night a special menton here because I particularly love the character switching mechanic in this one!
This was still a tough choice though, I actually love a lot of shootemups... I gotta give a special shouttout to Konami shooters like Twinbee, Parodius, Gradius, Xexex, and Contra. i think Konami was the classic king of shootemups, hard to go wrong with them!
Rail Shooter: Star Fox 64 3D
It was between this game and Sin & Punishment 2. The latter is the meatier game, but Star Fox 64's insane replayablity wins out for now. I love the scoring system in this game that rewards well placed charge shots, the level design is good at keeping you on your toes, and the boss design is almost uniformly excellent. While Star Fox 64 is short, its branching paths make it highly replayable. Also of note: I have a lot of nostalgia for this game's N64 incarnation, so I'm a bit biased! The writing in this game is hilariously cheesy as well, I'm just imagining "MY EMPEROR, I'VE FAAAILLLED YOUUUUUU" as I type this up!
I have a preference for the 3DS version though, despite preferring the N64 version's voice acting, just because the 3DS version has a more consistent framerate.
Single Player First Person Shooter: Doom
Doom is a pretty classic, old choice for a first person shooter, but I just love its level design and encounter design! Note that I mean tthe original Doom, but I enjoy all the mainline Doom games quite a bit!
Multiplayer First Person Shooter: Team Fortress 2
While I've played other multiplayer FPS before, TF2 is the only online one I REALLY got hooked on. I found all of the classes to be a lot of fun to play as, the diversity in game modes made me play for over 1000 hours, and I love the crazy modding community this game has had!
Third Person Shooter: Resident Evil 4
This may seem like a bit of an archaic choice for a 3rd person shooter, but jesus christ the pacing in this game is OFF THE CHARTS! Resident Evil 4 is always so damn good at making you want to push foward, each room is like a new well designed mini scenario to get through. Sure, not being able to move and shoot at the same time may seem out of date, but the game is designed very well around this, so I wouldn't change it! There's also the mercenaries, which is an addictive side mode I still play from time to time.
Survival Horror: Silent Hill
I actually haven't played this game in a really long time, but the forebiding atmosphere really left an impact on me as a kid. The game is pretty good at making you feel totally helpless, and the lo-fi Playstation graphics actually make this game seem scarier to me. I REALLY need to replay it because I've forgotton so much though... maybe next Halloween!
Metroidvania: Super Metroid
There's lots of Metroidvanias out there, bu Super Metroid not only takes the cake for my favorite Meroidvania, but is also my favorite non-Mario universe game ever! Despite being one of the first Metroidvanias, the map game in this game is absoloutly SUPERB! The game is also full of little sequence breaks, both intentional and un-intentional, that make replaying this game a lot of fun. Also, fun fact: this game is my brother's favorite game of all time!
Immersive Sim: Deus Ex
Another hold choice. Immersive sims are one of those weird hybrid gernes like Metroidvanias, but basically they're highly interactive first person games where decsions matter. And damn, Deus Ex makes that kind of stuff a LOT of fun! There's so many ways you can complete a given mission, and many branching paths, secrets, and even computers to hack into! You can choose to kill almost everything you see like a total psychopath (even children!), but you can also choose to not kill a single god damn person. It's a ton of fun to mess around with this game, I replay it a lot!
Stealth Game: Metal Gear Solid 3
Look I love the cheesy thrill of most Metal Gear game, but I have to give MGS3 the edge because of the cleverly implemented survival mechanics combined with sublime stealth. This is actually probably my 2nd favorite PS2 game (my favorite one... you'll find out later!)
Single Player JRPG: Mother 3
I've always been a big fan of the Earthbound series, but Mother 3 surpasses even Earthbound for me. The raw emotion of this game is powerful, for lack of better words without spoiling. Like Earthbound, its a funny game, but it also takes cues from Earthbound Beginings, in that the game has no problems with these strong, emotional gut punches coming out of nowhere. If I'm being honest... this is the only video game that got me to outright cry at the end of it. It's an incredible finale to the Mother Trilogy, and is a must play for any self-respecting fans of RPGs imo. Thank goodness for that excellent fan translation!
Multiplayer RPG: Pokemon Ultra Sun and Pokemon Ultra Moon
I mean... I'm on a competitive Pokemon website, this had to be somewhere! USUM might be sorta an odd choice, but let me explain: I've mostly transitioned to playing Pokemon on cartridge, and of the cart metas, Ultra Sun and Moon had my favorite metagam of that era, with a great combination of diversity and stabiliy that satisfied me the whole generation. Plus, it had some really wacky tournaments and special ladders like the level 1 ladder that were a ton of fun! I'd actually give this to Sword and Shield, but unfortunately due to the Dynamax mechanic, I put it below USUM and ORAS.
WRPG: Fallout New Vegas
I don't play a whole ton of western RPGs (though I bet I'd love Mass Effect if I'd play it some more...), but for now, Fallout New Vegas tops that list for me. Yeah it's a bit rough around the edges, but Obsidian did an INCREDIBLE job on the quest design for this game. Many quests have radically different endings depending on your choices, and the script for this game is WAY better than Bethesda written Fallouts, with witty writing and amusing options depending on your stats (for example, low intelligence characters sometimes have stupid things to say if I remember correctly!). Post apocalyptic Nevada is also a ton of fun to explore.
Beat em up: Kirby Superstar Ultra
Ooooh boy this is gonna be a real controversial call (in fact I can already hear my brother getting prepared to smack me for not saying its Streets of Rage 2)! So lemme explain: Some people view Kirby as a platformer, but you do way more combat than platforming, so I'm inclined to call most Kirby games brawlers with platforming elements.
Anyways, Kirby Superstar Ultra is a pretty easy game, which is pretty unusual for beatumups. So why does it top them for me? Simply because, Kirby Superstar Ultra makes you feel like a FUCKING GOD as you just... obilerate enemies with Kirby's absurd toolset. Seriously, this game becomes an incredible time with a friend when you just experiment with how destructive you can get with copy abilites. The game has a shocking amount of depth too with its copy abilities, you'd be surprised how satisfying single ability runs in the arena can get for example! I will say, Kirby Star Allies actually gets close for me just because of its well executed arena mode, and Planet Robobot has a really insane campagin for a Kirby game, but Kirby Superstar Ultra is more well rounded than either of those imo!
Character Action (AKA 3D beat em up): Bayonetta 2
I love me some Platinum Games, and Bayonetta 2 is one of the most bonkers games I've ever played. This game is almost always firing all cylinders, with even the boss of the TUTORIAL feeling like it should be some fucking final boss in most games, but no this game is like "that's the begining!" I will admit I find Bayonetta 1's final boss sorta crazier than Bayonetta 2, and I won't deny that Bayonetta 1 has more challenge in its combat system than Bayonetta 2, but Bayonetta 2 also removes a lot of the worst parts of Bayonetta like instakill QTEs, so I think I prefer this one!
Pinball: Devil's Crush
I alluded to this in an earlier post here when I talked about the PC Engine, but I gotta talk about this more. Devil's Crush is a satantic themed pinball game. Yeah seriously, and it fucking rules! It's far from realitic pinball, but the physics are convincing enough as you kill hordes of undead and demons with your ball, and the flow of the table makes the game really hard to put down. It also helps that the music and visuals just make it metal as fuck, I often forget I'm even playing pinball!
Maze: Ms. Pacman
Ms. Pacman may seem like a bland choice compared to say... Pacman Championship, but Ms Pacman's simplicty actually wins out for me. There may not be much to the game: eat the dots and fruit, get a power pellet to eat ghosts... but that's ok, because its got an addicive core gameplay loop that I still have zero issues pumping quarters into! I actually prefer Ms. Pacman to the original Pacman just because Ms. Pacman has more than one maze and less predictable ghost behavior that makes it more challenging. To be clear though, I find most Pacman games to be very enjoyable!
Puzzle: Tetris
I realize I should probably include multiple different puzzle gernes, but this list is massive and... come on how the hell do you beat Tetris? It's as simple as a game can get, but the dopamine rush when you clear a line or get a tetris is damn near impossible to beat. Honestly... while I'd hesitate to call it my favorite game ever, I do think it's probably as close to perfect of a video game as you can get!
Racing: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe
I'm not super into more realistic racing games with a few exceptions (I love Burnout and the Forza Horizon games!), but damn Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is just no contest for me, the sheer variety in racetrack design makes it a clear winner for me.
Board Game: Mario Party Series
I have a hard time choosing my favorite Mario Party (though I can say that Mario Party 9 and 10 suck ass), because to me, the best part about Mario Party is less the game, and more the social experince it gives you. These are the perfect trash talking bullshit games. While you are rewarded with skill, the game has enough luck where anyone can win it, so it's perfect for playing a game with friends without getting in that "it's no fun to beat them so easily" zone.
Minigame Compilation: Wario Ware Gold
I actually think minigame compilations are a legit gerne unlike some folks, and few series do that better for me than Wario Ware games. The quickfire rapid microgames are great at keeping you on your toes, and I give Wario Ware Gold the top spot for the sheer insane variety it offers, it uses pretty much every feature of the 3DS in some way! Wario Ware Twisted gets a close second because it actually has some of the best motion controls of any game... which is crazy since its a GBA game! I also have to give a shotout to Wii Sports Resort, which is probably my non Wario-ware runner up due to the depth of the minigames it offers.
Rhythm Game: Rhythm Heaven Gold
I mean if I'm gonna mention Wario Ware Gold, how the hell can I not mention this gem? To be clear, I like plenty of other rhythm games, such as Dance Dance Revolution or Hatsune Miku Project Diva, but Rhythm Heaven Gold wins out for me because the sheer diversity of its scenarios and how it redefines what a rhythm game is, makes it endlessly entertaining to me!
Pong: Video Olympics / Pong Sports
Yeah I went there: I consider Pong to be its own genre! Pong games are actually fairly unique in this day and age, and it's not because they're over 40 years old: their use of a "paddle" control (basically a dial) gives them a unique and extremely percise sense of control that you can't really experience in today's games. My favorite probably has to be Video Olypmics (also known as Pong Sports) for the Atari 2600, since it offers a ton of variety in its modes, making for some fun competiton!
Katamari: We Love Katamari
OK if I can bullshit Pong into its own genre, then I can do that with Katamari, because how the hell do I even classify this game?! Oh yeah, hot take time: this is actually my favorite PS2 game! Rolling up stuff never gets old for me. The game has a shocking amount of comedy in its item placements too, with references to plenty of silly things like fairy tales, movies, etc. I love most Katamari games, but We Love Katamari has the most diverse selection of tasks to choose from, so I give this the edge, with Katamari Forever on the PS3 getting a close second place!
Life Sim: Animal Crossing New Horizons
I swear to god this game made me sane during the first Covid-19 wave. Why fuck around in real life when Animal Crossing is better? I actually don't have that much to say about this, besides the fact that I basically played this every day for 3 months. I haven't played this since June, so my town is probably weed hell, but I'll return to it sometime soon...
Fashion: Stye Savvy Trendsetters
You may be thinking "WTF YOU LIKE FASHION GAMES?!" Well... this is the only one I've played, and yeah I guess I do now! Long story short, I found this game in a fleamarket, and I know its a 3DS game Nintendo published, so I figured "ah what the hell, its 5 bucks". So I gave it a try... and I was fucking hooked for like a montth straight. Turns out, dressing up customers the way they want is actually a shockingly good time! I'm gonna have to get the other games in this series later, it clearly resonated with me in unexpected ways!
Tennis: Mario Tennis Aces
OK since I mentioned Pong I have to menton its more fighting-game like equvilant, Mario Tennis Aces! Mario Tennis Aces is actually fairly simple, but the mind games it presentts you with the different types of shots you can make, make this fairly enjoyable imo!
Basketball: NBA Jam
I haven't actually played this in a realllly long time, but me and my friends used to play the Sega Genesis version of this a lot. I think I prefer the more arcadey nature to it compared to say, NBA 2K games.
Adventure: Moon
This is actually a game I waited around 2 decades to finally come out in English. It's a strange Playstation 1 game (with a Switch port that's in English!) where you're a child sucked into an RPG. This isn't actually an RPG though, this is more akin to something like Grim Fandango: an adventure game where you solve problems. There's a day/night cycle and week system akin to Majora's Mask, and frankly the writing is some of the best I've ever encountered in a video game.
If I'm being honest, Moon would actually be my game of the year if it weren't for Super Mario Bros 35!
Visual Novel: Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
I LOVE me some Phoenix Wright! The combination of over the top characters, investigation, and absurd court procedures is an intoxiccating mixture for me that I'm always up for! I actually love all of them, but I put Trials and Tribulations on the top just for the insane final case. Also, fun fact: this is my mom's favorite video game series!
Text Adventure: Kentucky Route Zero
Calling Kentucky Route Zero a text adventure may be a bit of a stretch (since there are actual visuals sometimes), but I have no idea what the hell else to call this incredible game! The best way to describe this game is that umm... you have a delivery of antique furniture to make, and this spirals into an unforgetable journey accoss strange lands wth strange characters. I don't want to say much more because I REALLY don't want to spoil this (the final episode came out this year, and its basically for all the modern consoles including the Switch). But seriously do yourself a favor: if you like novels, GET THIS GAME, the prose honestly feels like its from a good, sureal book! Unlike a book though, this game also pulls some stunts that can only work in video games too!
Light Gun Game: House of the Dead 2
I love the cheesy thrills of playing this game in the arcades! All you do is simple: you grab the plastic gun off the arcade machine, aim at the zombies, then blow their head off! There actually isn't a lot more to it than that, but its simple and addictive. Any time I see this arcade machine around, I know its time to burn through some tokens!
Educational Game: Typing of the Dead
Remember how i said I loved House of the Dead 2? My parents realized that, so they figured they could weaponize it into learning by getting me a Sega Dreamcast keyboard and Typing of the Dead... and it worked! You know why I type so fast? You can blame this game! See, Typing of the Dead is basically House of the Dead 2, except instead of pointing a gun at zombies, you blow their heads off by typing fast and accurately! I got massively hooked on this game, AND it helped me finish homework faster. If your child can handle the cheesy blood and gore of this game (your mileage may varry a lot there lmao), this is a good way to teach them how to type imo. It also helps that even outside of the educuational part, it's still House of the Dead, so it's a ton of fun even if you're already good at typing!
There's even more genres of games out there, but that's it for now, I typed too much lmao
Leaderboards
My top placement on a leaderboard has been #1 of course! This has mostly been on Pokemon ladders at some point or another, but I want to share two memorable instances!
Ultra Final Online Competiton
This might be my produest one: this was the final offical competiton for Ultra Sun and Moon that Gamefreak hosted. It meant a lot to me since I had a ton of fun with gen 7, and this was sorta a farewell to my beloved Ubers since I figured dexit would snap most of them (not like we knew about the Crown Tundra yet!). I ended up winning shockingly enough! If you want more info, I discuss the metagame in the RMT I made for it.
Super Mario Maker
As for the other one, I was for a short period of time, #1 in the weekly likes leaderboard for Super Mario Maker 1 I believe. It was with a level I made thatt went viral. It's a weird creepypasta level of sorts, here's a video of it below!
Classic Literature
This is a shockingly easy choice, and no its not actually scifi! My choice would be Pale Fire, a book written by Vladimir Nabokov (most famous for the book Lolita). This is a highly unusual novel, that first "starts" out with a 999 line poem. Then, at first this starts to seem like a non-fictional account about the poem, with commentary by "Charles Kintobe". Without spoiling anything... Charles Kintobe is a really weird guy, so the goal of the novel is to figure out what's up with him.
But see, this is where Pale Fire really grips me: it takes such graceful advantage of its printed medium, that it's unadaptable. Seriously, a movie about this book would be totally nonsensical! See, this is the only novel I've read that's NONLINEAR! Let me explain here: theres indexes, cross references to other parts of the book or lines in the poem, etc. Sorta like real commentary. But the trick here is that Charles Kintobe is... not particularly sane, so there's a story to unravel here!
Now of course, you can just read it straight through like a novel: that's what I did when I first read it. But see, this novel has fucking REREAD VALUE. You can read it again, start cross referencing the index, what Kintobe says, and the poem, and you find out more about this guy. You can make your own conclusions about things this way (Nabokov himself has his own ideas!). Despite being published in the 1960s, this book almost feels like some sort of ARG. But see, its so well written (which isn't shocking, Vladimir Nabokov is a master of writing if you've ever read Lolita before) that this isn't jsome stupid internet game, it's also a well written, satirical novel that takes jabs at the VERY PEOPLE who dare to analyze it!
Seriously, give this book a try sometime if you've never read it, few books make a case for the unqiuness of the printed medium than this one!
Sleepover
I mean once this pandemic is over, sure I might. I want to start meeting Smogoners in real life sometime.
Sorry to disapoint, but I've actually only read two of Nabokov's works! The other book of his I read was Lolita (granted, I haven't read it in about a decade, so some stuff I remember might be off). I'd rate it below Pale Fire personally.
You already know what I think about Pale Fire, so I might as well talk about Lolita at least! If I'm being honest, the main reason why I read Lolita was just because a long time ago as a kid I just searched "best book ever", and saw Lolita. I read about the book, and was shocked that a book on that subject matter could be so acclaimed, so I figured I had to read it!
For those of you that don't know: Lolita is about Humbert Humbert, a man who is sexually attracted to a 12-year old girl named Dolores (who he calls Lolita. And yes, that's where the term "loli" comes from).
Needless to say, that's an extremely shocking concept for a book! However, Nabokov SOMEHOW pulls it off, and the book can even come off as darkly comedic at times! It's really down to Nabokov's writing: dude can turn the darkest shit in the wittiest writing I swear. Something that particularly stuck out to me last time I read it is how much of an unreliable narrator Humbert Humbert is too.
I mean, the dude literally justifies shit like (gonna put this in spoiler tags just in case)
wanting to murder Dolores's mother, actually covering up her death, drugging Dolres so he can rape her, basically kidnapping her and taking her on a "road trip"
Something I notice when people talk about Lolita is that Humbert Humbert pretty much... noramlizes all the really awful shit he does, so much so that some readers almost see themselves getting to the point where they feel BAD for Humbert, or that this book is a real "love story'. I never really get quite to that point, but it oddly adds something to the book to me: it shows you how obessive and shameless a person Humbert is. Since this book is written from his perspective, there's no room for the book to say "well OBVIOUSLY Humbert Humbert is a scumbag". It doesn't really justify it either. In fact, with the narriation style, I recall suscribing to the idea that we don't actually know all that much about Dolores herself. Sure, we know about her actions, but most of what we know about her is how Humbert describes her. In a way, I wonder if "Lolita" as Humbert calls Dolres, is more Humbert's sick, idealized girl he projects onto Dolores.
I like this book a lot mostly because of the witty way its written (its downright a dark comedy at times), but I guess I've never been conviced about it being a positive love story either. It's more a twisted tale of obession to me. It's also funnily enough, the reason I read Pale Fire, which was a real next level book for me!
Sorry if that wasn't really a deep analysis or anything, like I said I haven't read Lolita in about a decade! I actually do want to read all of Nabokov's works sometimes though. If I were to start again (good chance, coronavirus really fucked up my schedule this year), maybe Pnin would be a good start, since afaik that's the novel that put Nabokov on the map in the US!
Have you ever thought of Paper Mario TTYD as a roguelike? (Search “ttyd infinite pit” for an idea of what I’m talking about)
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