What do you look for in a partner?

[Anti]

altmer i like your sig

let me see. uhhhh usually I have a few "requirements"
- been in a long term (1 yr+) relationship before
- brunette or maybe red
- v. good looking
- shorter than me (i'm 6')
- younger than me
- can walk in heels
- drug (inc. (BAN ME PLEASE)) free
- doesn't get trashily drunk
- lives less than 1/2 an hour drive away (why has nobody mentioned this?)
- doesn't cheat
- mentally stable (been there enough and just want something a little easier)
- takes care of her health
- does a relationship, not just a one night stand

i've been told that i'm amazingly picky and i'm inclined to agree

i'm a confident, cocky, egotistical wanker and most girls hate that but some get off on it. so I guess I'd need someone that liked that. despite being arrogant and such i'm a nice guy one on one and am told i can be quite the charmer. if i like you, i'll put a lot of effort in to make it work.

plusses are
- a cat person
- doesn't mind cars
- walks well in heels (seriously, I won't even talk to you if you walk like a giraffe in an earthquake)
- prettier than me (I'm a model/"pretty boi")
- i loveeeeeeee girls that get jealous
- can drive (i'm 19 and most of my friends still can't)
- knows how to flirt
- can deal with me (i'm bipolar)
- doesn't mind my music
- bouncy, fun; i can get very down and i need someone that can counteract that
- the less makeup the better

i'll say it. looks matter to me. a fair bit.

can't be a ditz. educated, smarter than me. not a skank. sick of bleach-blonde drunks. humour is nice. doesn't mind me calling her doll.

in terms of getting a girl to like me idk, i just tend to hang out with girls i like and see what happens

oh and preferably single

 

[6A9 Ace Matador]

girls who are smart and share my strange sense of humour are neat. liking music is a big plus and as for looks, i like someone who cares about how they look and like fashion (i am a big metrosexual -,-) but don't wear a ton of make-up etc. someone who can discuss stuff with me and provide me with interesting conversations are awesome too~

 

[Fishy]

tad, please stop saying you're the ugliest man alive. I've seen your picture and you're hardly hideous at all, you're actually cute and look like just an average guy!

anyway,
my past three boyfriends have all differed noticeably amongst one another, but there are definitely a set list of things I like to look for in a guy:

-has a beautiful smile
-loyal/trustworthy
-great sense of humour/wit
-intelligent
-established style
-good self-esteem
-talented/dedicated to something
-passionate
-childish enough to enjoy clowning around with me
-kinky enough to not be put off by me
-can get along with my family (although this will probably lessen in importance as the years go by, you'll definitely have to deal with them when we get married and shit)
-non-smoker
-no drugz
-OH YEAH MUST BE TALLER THAN ME
-takes care of themselves, be it appearance/health/fitness
-oh yeah I also have a thing for sexy accents

i can easily fall in love with a beautiful smile, but I'm also a sucker for beautiful eyes to boot that I can get lost innnnn. I've also discovered that I have a things for pretty hands, and I love playing with long, slender fingers. tone/color of skin doesn't matter at all, it all just comes down to whether it's taken care of or not! and I can understand the kind of acne that you sort of can't maintain typically, but you can definitely tell a difference between that and just lack of hygiene.

 

[TaiCrunch]

i see 'non-smoker' on a lot of lists and it's kinda interesting. do you find the smell disgusting, the taste, or something else?

i had dated smokers before i started myself, and i can't really say i noticed too much. and i've dated nonsmokers since i've started and they didn't even know i was a smoker. i think so long as somebody's not an insanely heavy smoker (pack a day at every opportunity), the odors don't make much of a difference, if they're even noticeable at all.

 

[Fishy]

I hate hate hate smelling smoke on someone's clothes, even their hair if they've got enough of it to have the smell stick even THERE. I also kind of find people that smoke cigarettes somewhat dumb, and I'd also like to stray away from people who have addictive personalities that they can't "keep control" of. As for taste, I've never had to deal with that -- my second to last boyfriend was an on and off smoker, and I told him that any time he smoked, I refused to kiss him.

 

[alamaster]

Well the fact that their breath stinks is one aspect I dislike about smokers. It's more of an annoyance thing for me though since they constantly have to go out for smoke breaks. I mean if they never did it around me, never smelled like smoke or anything like that then I suppose it wouldn't change very much. I frown upon it because it is a bad habit and generally if a smoker can't break/won't break their habit then what does that say about their character? I admire the fact that non-smokers/people who have quit have that motivation to stay away from a bad addiction.

 

[TaiCrunch]

i don't think i'm dumb :(((

 

[Ballad]

I've come to have only one requirement for a girl I will spend my life with, if she exists:

I must be able to spend time with her every day without one of us feeling dismally bored.

This seems to be the real key. There were so many girls that I thought I loved and after three days of hanging out we were bored of it. Of course, this may just be because right now we're both 15, but it's still the idea.

How would you spend your life with someone, or even a year in a relationship, if you get bored of each other that quickly?

Basically it's just a judge to me of how compatible we are with each other. I never get bored, so if we never get bored together it means we obviously enjoy the same stuff. If we can always find something to do, whether it be listening to music or playing video games or playing ninjas in a wide-sprawling upper class neighborhood.

Obviously as I get older, like 18+, when it's more feasible to actually want a relationship because of more freedom from our parents, it'll become easier to find stuff to do and honestly this girl has been one of my best friends since we were six and I'd probably want to try again at that time to see what the world has for us.

I'd prefer she be drop dead gorgeous but as long as she's at least a 7 and fits the above requirement I'm happy.

 

[Fishy]

^^ hell yes, I totally agree. In all my past relationships, regardless of the time we'd spent together before, we eventually grew bored and things became monotonous. I believe that you'll really find love with someone when being bored is an impossibility. Even if you're both somewhere incredibly droll and the people around you suck, being able to retreat into your world with one another should be fail-safe, and if not, then sorry charlieee.

 

[TaiCrunch]

yeah that should really be pretty high on everyone's lists. staying entertained around each other says a lot about your relationship; getting bored as easily as that means you don't really mesh well. but if you never get bored, never get tired of seeing that other person, you've got a keeper. you'll keep each other on your toes, and there'll always be a bunch of pleasant little surprises that'll make you appreciate more and more.

 

[Ludo]

Oh, and congratulations Ludo on those 15 years.

Thanks

As for the boredom thing...yeah, if you're getting bored right at the start when everything's meant to be exciting and you're getting to know each other and all that jazz, then you probably aren't that well suited. However, it could just be a sign that you need to spend some time with your friends or on your own every now and then, just doing the stuff you enjoy. I think too many couples smother each other and forget that they're an individual as well as part of a couple.

 

[Chomper The Sharptooth]

I saw a similar thread in a different forum sometime back, one I never actually posted in. I'll start out with my age (16) and saying that I've had no real relationship (one this year lasted three days, real funny story. XD), but there is still a general outline of what I look for now.

As mentioned in a previous topic I fancy myself as a heteroromantic asexual, not feeling particularly physically attracted to people of either gender, yet I still have almost a baseline for how a person looks. I still appreciate attractive people, especially those on the cuter side, but a woman only need to have enough looks to show she respects her own body and by extension herself.

Past that, I'd echo a lot of what has been said before. I want a person who gets me/my humor/activities is a plus, so on and so forth. Even though this seems to almost completely contradict what I said in the looks portion, I feel oddly attracted to girls who are more on the emotional side sometimes, maybe due to them being the group I group many of my closest friends under. This is potentially the biggest reason why I love meeting any girl who has an 'emo' air about them...

As for desires on the side considered a bit more normal, my 'relationship' was with a girl my own age, short and cute, smart, athletic, way nerdy, an odd sense of humor, religious (not a requirement of mine but a definite plus) and interesting to talk to. While the run wasn't exactly stellar I would say she met most, if not all of the qualities I would look for in my next partner.

 

[Itchni]

Well to save from any confusion people might have Ill say off the bat that i am gay.

I prefer a short stocky guy, something like 5'8 160-170 lbs. I hate tall lanky guys (I am 6'4" used to be lanky, worked by ass off to get some tone in my muscles) Looks are a huge thing to me. I have a huge infatuation with peoples eyes so beautiful eyes are a huge plus. A great smile is also a huge plus. When i go to ask people out I go because they look nice, but I will never reject someones offer to take me out just because of looks. I always give them a chance to impress me.

I only date people who can take care of themselves. You need to have a good job, or working towards having a good job. You have to be emotionally stable. My mom always dated these guys that couldn't take care of themselves so I will never date someone I have to take care of.

Being funny isn't something you need to be. I would rather someone be intelligent rather than funny. All my boyfriends in the past have been science/engineering/math majors which really worked. I am a chemistry major myself and being able to talk about stuff without my partner asking what simple things are is really nice, along with being able to learn a bit what my partner knows.

When i am in the club and I see a guy i like I just go right to him and say that i think he is hot. If he shows disinterest there is nothing I can do but at least i showed him that I am interested.

 

[Electrode]

I generally don't look for anything--I go by the conversation and actions. If I can relax, have fun, and openly talk to the girl, then they are automatically good enough. (This also applies to how open they are to talking to me, etc) Looks and intelligence are essentually extra goodies that are neat to have, but are not necessary.

I don't go out of my way to get attention from a girl; if they listen, they listen. If they don't, they don't.

 

[Surgo]

My pattern of attraction has been extremely random. It doesn't matter anymore now that I'm getting married, but I always tended to go "cute" over "hot", and they had to be intelligent. Also, they had to either enjoy video games or not mind my enjoyment of them :-P

I never had a problem getting women to like me. I found that if you treated them like fellow human beings with the same thoughts, dreams, and desires, instead of a different species, it works out pretty well! It really throws me for a loop when people say they don't understand women -- what's there to understand? They're no different than men.

Being funny isn't something you need to be. I would rather someone be intelligent rather than funny. All my boyfriends in the past have been science/engineering/math majors which really worked. I am a chemistry major myself and being able to talk about stuff without my partner asking what simple things are is really nice, along with being able to learn a bit what my partner knows.

I feel...similar, though not identical. I've made intellectualism the basis of my life; having someone who shares that (not the same field, just shares or at least understands the intellectual drive) is really nice.

 

[Thund91]

The most important thing to me is sense of humor. Before looks or anything. And they have to smile a lot. I don't want my guy to have a -__- facial expression 24/7. A smile means a lot. Intelligence is also important, I don't want my boyfriend asking me how to spell discuss (yes, an ex did that <_<), so even just a little will satisfy me. He must also be outgoing and willing to do crazy things with me. He must be willing to go out on weekends but also know when it's a good time to just sit back and relax, I don't want to date a hermit. Now on to looks, they are pretty important if you ask me. Healthy relationships can't be built without physical attraction IMO. I like conflicting features. Blue/green eyes with dark hair is gorgeous and blond hair with brown eyes drives me crazy. I prefer them to be in shape, or at least care about how they look. I haven't really been very aggressive in looking for a guy, they just come to me. I guess I just kinda be myself...I always become friends with guys before I start dating them, I never rush into a relationship.

A little advantage I've noticed is that us homos can become best friends with our partners much easier then heteros, which makes the relationship stronger. Guys are naturally attracted to guys as friends and females naturally attracted to females. Just an observation I've made. Not saying heteros can't be best friends with their partners, but just saying we have an advantage in that aspect. ^_^

 

[ginganinja]

Well i do like looks, i am not shallow or anything but I do like pretty women.
However I do enjoy a nice smile, sense of humer and general personality, being a good cook for me is not essential as I can cook fine. I would prefer them to be smart but not overly smarter than me (and please not sombody who just sprouts useless facts)

Also I will be friends first with somebody I lik and let things go from there. Not attracted to a women who does drugs/smokes.

EDIT @ reverie
You sure are seting your sights high

 

[Phantom_IV]

@ reverie, careful what you wish for... especially if that's your only requirement.

Also, they had to either enjoy video games or not mind my enjoyment of them :-P

Agreed. Sadly, my current gf has no appreciation for video games and therefore not much tolerance for me playing them. The world needs more female gamers.

 

[Altmer]

Smoking is terrible.

 

[Crisis]

I should probably start by saying I'm a gay man so don't get the wrong idea about which gender I'm talking about :)

I'm not very picky about looks. Mainly this is because I'm attracted to a lot of different body types. Obesity is a problem, but only in the same sense that smoking or heavy drug addictions are, i.e. they reduce your lifespan and I don't want to be stuck with a partner dying of cancer when I'm 65. Great sex is a plus, but I can get that outside the relationship if need be. (Which isn't to say I would cheat on my partner without their consent, far from it.)

Emotional maturity and integrity is my no. 1 concern. I absolutely can't stand drama. People who get upset easily or who demand a lot of attention are very draining on me. I need someone who can respect my own space and my own boundaries, and in return I will respect theirs. Who they socialise with (and sleep with) is entirely up to them, I just want an emotional bedrock to come home to, someone who I can trust and who enjoys my company, and who is willing to share their heart and mind with me.

Humour is obviously desirable in any relationship, but sadly it isn't one of my best qualities. It's not that I don't have a sense of humour, it's just that it isn't as sharp as it could be, nor is it to everyone's taste. I'm not the sort of person who can make jokes all the time, but I can be incredibly witty in my observations of daily life (or so I am told). Ideally, my partner would appreciate my humour and complement it with their own. Sadly, I also have a fairly narrow range of interests, and some overlap is a must if we're going to get along. But at the same time, I'm always open to new things, and I think it's good for two members of a relationship to have different interests to explore together :)

I'm very much an introvert, in the Myers-Briggs sense of the word, which means I expend energy by being social and taking action. I would expect my partner (and friends) to be able to deal with the fact that I need time for independent thought and reflection. In all likelihood this would mean that my partner would also be an introvert, but this isn't necessarily the case as I do get along very well with some extroverts.

 

[Ludo]

Sure, and a thing about introverts and extroverts is that's very often just the public facade people have, at home the extrovert partner may feel relaxed enough to become more passive and the introverted partner vice versa :)

 

[Roz]

I have never been in a real relationship before, but i do know what I want :
-Smart, i.e we can discuss about anything
-Taller than me (not too hard since I'm barely 5'2)
-Won't cheat
-Doesn't smoke/do drugs
-Mature, but can also clown around with me
-Good sense of humor

Plusses :
-Likes music
-Is an asian (Imho they really are attractive)
-Can drive. I can, but I don't want to have to drive my boyfriend around every time we do something. =/
-Has the same or similar interests as me

I think looks are important in a way, but I don't care that much about them. As long as the guy doesn't smell bad, i.e sweat, or has nice clothes, it's fine by me. To me a nice smile is more important than that. What if the guy looks terrific, but always looks like he's pissed off? Oh and since I'm a really shy girl, I want my bf to be able to propose activities, since I probably won't at first. I'm working on it though x)

 

[Snorlaxe]

There are a few key things that I look for in a girl. The first thing that I look for is her personality. Nobody wants to go out with a girl who will stare you down when you make a joke, or somebody who just isn't fun to be around; girls like that I just find very "ugh". I don't care if they're the hottest chick on the farm, I generally see personality as being much more important than good looks. For me, the ideal personality in a girl is somebody who laughs easily (but isn't one of those simple-minded fools who laughs at everything), understands me, is kind/caring, and is "wholesome". By wholesome, I mean that she has values and sticks to them. So many of my friends drink and smoke, and it bothers me; at 15 years old, you obviously either have no values or don't think very highly of yourself if your a heavy drinker or smoker. I don't mean that she needs to be clean as a whistle; I drink occasionally as well (but don't smoke!). I just don't want her to be one of those addictive personality-types.

I also do value intelligence. I am pretty smart for my age, and so I rarely find someone who is in my relative age group who I can really get along well with in a sense of being an equal and sharing thoughts. Though I do have plenty of friends/past girlfriends who are mildly unintelligent, I got along fine with them, because I too like to joke around; the problem was that it was only ever jokes. I could never share my thoughts or feelings with them, because their minds are too one-dimensional to even have a serious conversation (which is really quite sad). An ideal girl for me would also have to be mature. When I say "mature", I don't mean mature in an annoying way, where she corrects everyone and is a total goodie-two-shoes. I just want somebody who isn't such a simpleton that they start cracking up when somebody burps loudly or anything like that. They still have to be immature enough to be able to joke around with me, as I like to joke around...I guess what I'm saying is that they have to be able to have the discretion/ability to be mature and immature at the appropriate times.


I don't mean to come off as shallow when I say this, but I do value looks as well. I don't need for a girl to be some drop-dead gorgeous pseudo-model or whatever, but I do like cute girls. For me, I actually like "cute" girls more that "hot" girls. Nice eyes are a big bonus; you can learn a lot about someone by looking into their eyes, and so for me, pretty eyes are simply wonderful, as you can gaze into each other's eyes day in and day out and share your thoughts without even speaking. A nice smile is great too, as well as a nice laugh.

Oh yeah, and she needs to be shorter than me! ;P

 

[Lelouch]

Aesthetically, my ideal partner would be at least as tall as me, white, without glasses and dress conservatively. Doesn't have to be porn star attractive, but if he's not physically appealing there's not much I can do.

He'd also have to be/have the following:

1. Extremely intelligent (normies bore me)
2. Share my interest in philosophy (I can't tolerate ignorance in morality - I don't care what you believe, as long as it's not just because someone told you to it's fine)
3. Be open-minded (I don't mean the level of open-mindedness society pushes: I mean acceptance of EVERYTHING, regardless of how much society hates it).
4. Not be obsessed with sex (I could probably handle it occasionally if he really wanted me to, but not too often and I doubt I could fake enjoyment).
5. Be into the same genres of books/movies/shows as me: scifi, fantasy for fiction and philosophy, metaphysics, politics, psychology for nonfiction. Doesn't have to be exactly the same tastes but I like to talk about what I'm reading and share it with others.
6. Not care in the slightest about mundane concerns. Example, I don't have crockery or cutlery in the house, I use paper/plastic alternatives because I have no interest in wasting a moment of my life standing over a sink (or indeed loading a dishwasher). He'd have to either enjoy doing housework alone, not move in with me, or accept living in a mess.
7. Be able to understand I like a LOT of alone time. As in, can and do go for weeks or months without society beyond what's required of a trip to the supermarket.

Yes, I'm demanding. Yes, as an arrogant elitist lazy insufferable genius I'm unlikely to find anyone willing to tolerate me for five minutes who also possesses the above qualities. Still, I'm not looking for anyone.

 

[Reverb]

Besides being good looking, I'd want someone who I consider to be extremely intelligent. Also, we'd probably have to have some sort of common ground on our political ideology. If she were extremely liberal I'd probably get annoyed. Lastly, I'd want someone who shares my sense of humor and won't get offended by it.