So did icecoolblue
Dear icecoolblue,
You are Trilby.
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A gentleman thief, you broke into the DeFoe manor looking for expensive loot, but were instead wrapped up in plot of serial murder, dark magic, and demonic gods that would haunt you forever.
As a thief, once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Steal from USER”. You will steal one item from USER.
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To travel unmolested through a crowd of peasants, you must appear to be one of them.
You are a Freelancer. You win if you solve a single puzzle.
Dear imperfectluck,
You are Michael Dawson.
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One year ago, aliens from the dark world implanted an embryo in your brain. You survived the encounter, but now live with your mother and nobody believes your story. You can’t even make it past first base with the town whore, and now a new series of murders are being pinned on you.
You know that there are 10 puzzles in the game.
You cannot carry any items, and any items you receive are dropped. However you have an infinite supply of Red Herrings, and can trade or give one away once per night. They won’t appear to other players as Red Herrings though, but as any item you wish.
Once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Kill USER”. USER will be killed.
Once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Make USER drop item”. USER will drop one item.
Once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Inspect USER”. You will receive USER’s Role PM, their puzzle, and what items they have.
The first time you die, it will have no effect.
You are King of all Losers. You win if you prevent the players from solving all 10 puzzles.
Dear Lightwolf,
You are the Purple Tentacle.
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After being exposed to toxic waste, you have developed a taste for world conquest.
As a Tentacle, each cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Tentacle Rape USER”. USER will be unable to complete their action this cycle.
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You are allied with LucasArts. You win if your team solves four puzzles.
Dear Dummy007,
You are Sam.
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A member of the Freelance Police, you are more level headed and less violent than your partner Max (but not by much). You are fond of breaking out into long-winded sentences with elaborate terminology.
If your partner Max dies, his Role PM will show up as the Freelancer Joey (from Beneath a Steel Sky), a twin that grants his partner a killing action. In reality you will gain the Bodyguard action. None of this protect either of you from being inspected.
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You are allied with LucasArts. You win if your team solves four puzzles.
Dear Hydrattler,
You are Max.
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You are a lagomorph and member of the Freelance Police. You are violent, impulsive, and indulgent. You also like to carry around a luger, and it’s no one’s damn business where you are keeping it.
If your partner Sam dies, his Role PM will show up as the Freelancer Robert Foster (from Beneath a Steel Sky), a twin that grants his partner a killing action. In reality you will gain the Bodyguard action. None of this protect either of you from being inspected.
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You are allied with LucasArts. You win if your team solves four puzzles.
Dear Walrein,
You are Guybrush Threepwood.
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Your life’s ambition was always to become a pirate, which you did by defeating the undead pirate LeChuck. This was only the first of many adventures where you’d tangle with LeChuck, usually over the affections of Elaine Marley.
As a Pirate, you are skilled in insult fighting. Once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Insult USER”. USER will be so busy laughing that they will not be able to post in the thread the next day.
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You are allied with LucasArts. You win if your team solves four puzzles.
Dear HD,
You are the Stranger.
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The protagonist of the game series Myst, little is actually known about you.
However being part of one of the best selling adventure games of all time garners a bit of respect. When you vote in a lynch, your vote counts as three votes.
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To gain the rare medicine needed to save the Emperor’s life, you must have something extremely valuable to trade.
You are a Freelancer. You win if you solve a single puzzle.
Dear Nightmare Jigglypuff,
You are April Ryan.
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An artist and a dreamer, you are capable of crossing between the technological Stark and the magical Arcadia. As the daughter of a motherfucking dragon, you are the only hope of preserving the balance between two worlds.
As a shifter, once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Send USER to Arcadia” or “Cycle X - Send USER to Stark”. USERs sent to Arcadia perform their action before anyone else, while USERs sent to Stark perform their action last.
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You are about to erase your criminal record from inside the cyber police station, but the key to do so is on an electrified rack. You must find a way to grab it.
You are a Freelancer. You win if you solve a single puzzle.
Dear Thorns,
You are Gillian Seed.
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You are an amnesiac found cryogenically frozen in Russia. Looking to uncover your past, you begin hunting for Snatchers believing this holds the key to your memory.
Since you have a robotic sidekick Metal Gear, once per cycle you can PM vonFiedler with “Cycle X - Safeguard USER”. USER will be protected from all non-killing actions.
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You have been challenged to a duel, but you lack a proper sword. You must construct one.
You are a Freelancer. You win if you solve a single puzzle.
I knew you'd turn out great.That meme needs to die.
Question: Why did you make imperfectluck a harmless neutral? Of all possible players to assign that role to...