GODDAMN DEADLINE
You all awake and gather for your townly ritual of meeting for your local Update. The day starts out with the usual bulletin board reading. Looks as if there are only Terms and Conditions today.
Terms and Conditions said:
New Rule: All posts must contain an image of a Red Panda with a knife stabbed in it.
Everyone turns to
Empoof, who sheds a single tear for the lovable red pandas. Who could possibly do that... to a red panda?!
Things move to role call, and it seems quite a few of you are missing. Puzzled, you all look around for the others.
"I found
Snike" calls out
Ace Emerald. "And he doesn't look too good..."
You all rush over, finding
Snike face down on his computer, his face indented through self-inflicted facepalms. On his computer screen it reads "You are banned for being under 18" in big red letters. Looks like someone took it a little hard...
Dear Snike,
You are I Can Has Cheezburger.
You are allied with the Cheezburger Network Sites.
You have taken the Internet by storm with the image macros known as “Lolcats”, which consist of an image of a cat with a humorous caption. The ORIGINAL Cheezburger Network Site, you have spawned countless spin-offs and merchandise. You have also pioneered a new form of Internet speak, known as “Lolspeak” or “t3h l0lsp3akz”.
Each night, you may send the hosts a PM titled “Night X - I can has itemz, USER?”. You will politely ask USER for all items in their possession, and since you are full of cats they will be unable to refuse, even if they are dead.
Since it is the second most popular site on the network, you know that Failblog is in this game. He is <snip>.
Since you are the original Cheezburger Network Site, you are the only one who can unite the faction. Once every 3 nights, starting on night 2, you may send a PM titled “Night X - Uniting the Pokemon Websites”. In the body of the PM, you must name all users, including yourself, who are on the faction, with no extras. If you do this successfully, your faction will become united and gain the ability to kill.
You win if the Cheezburger Network Sites are the last faction standing and all hostile neutrals have been eliminated.
"I hope the others are okay.." says
Lady Salamence in a motherly tone.
Suddenly you all hear a
SHRIEK and rush over to the park. There you find
Yeti, Horrified at the sight of a lifeless
Dummy007
"He... His s-skin.. it's as if someone stole his very
SOUL" blurts a flustered
Daenym
Dear Dummy007,
You are JoshJepson.
You are allied with the Epic Let’s Players
You are a Let’s Player who toiled in relative obscurity until you were featured in TheRunawayGuys’s playthrough of New Super Mario Bros. Wii. As such, you are now most commonly known as “That guy who played with TheRunawayGuys”. Regular features of your videos are cussing like a sailor and some of the most epic intro music in history.
Each day, you may send the hosts a PM titled “Day X - Voting for USER”. Since people tend to overlook you, your vote in the lynch will be cast for USER without them noticing. You may still vote in the main thread, but this vote will override it.
<snip>
You win if the Epic Let’s Players are the last faction standing and all hostile neutrals have been eliminated.
"...Those monsters!!" cries
Flamestrike, the alledged Epic Let's Players leader.
Still missing
Leethoof, you all go check out his house. The front door is wide open, with everything eerily silent. After entering his room,
Billymills notices a body lying on his bed, a diamond studded pitchfork sticking straight out of its face. While hardly identifiable, you know it to be
Leethoof
Dear Leethoof,
You are Pokebeach.
You are allied with the Pokemon Websites.
You are a relatively popular website that primarily focuses on the Pokemon trading card game. You have a rule in place that demands that forum users exhibit proper spelling and grammar, meaning that 90% of Smogon would be perma-banned from the site. You received a surge in attention during early 2011 when Nintendo ordered you to remove all images of Pokemon Black and White from the site, causing you to change all images to pictures of Ditto (not the user, the Pokemon) out of protest.
Each night, you may send the hosts a PM titled “Night X - Stealing USER’s attention”. You will receive another flurry of media coverage, and steal all of USER’s items while they are distracted. You may do this to dead players.
You win if the Pokemon Websites are the last faction standing and all hostile neutrals have been eliminated.
As everyone starts to think it's finally over, the small voice of
Quagsires speaks out: "Where's
Spiffy?"
Rushing around, looking high and low, it looks as though
Spiffy has gone missing! With his body not turning up, everyone hopes for
Spiffy's safe return one day.
"I'm gonna... go look for Spiffy... or something" Says
Walrein as he rushes to lock himself in his room, a magazine clenched in his fist. You're all a little confused about his excuse, but decide that
Walrein probably needs his privacy for a little while.
Even with so much going on, the factions and some other people eye eachother with sly nervousness. Someone's gotta be lynched today.
It is now Day 3. Results are heading your way. Do not post until all Results are out. Everyone's at school anyway though so ain't no thang.
