Fishy
tits McGee (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
girls aren't attracted to boys who perch themselves on a pedestals, dude
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Serious Relationships and Sex Ed Thread
- Thread starter Gabe
- Start date
it's mostly about valuing yourself, and acting confident but not condescending. it's really not that complicated
Slow to respond to this, but whateve. In my opinion just ask directly. There is nothing more annoying then someone who beats around the bush. I have had plenty of guy friends ask me. If you truly have a friendship it won't make things awkward. Jelli actually ask me out freshman year of college, and I said no. Did that change anything? No. The year after we bonded and became closer than ever. Then we moved in together and we have be inseparable best friends ever since. (In the end we found out he wasn't really a relationship kind of guy, he just likes getting his dick wet. V.V) I have a boyfriend and a healthy relationship and Zach has well whatever girl catches his interest at the time.
I am the queen of AWFUL first dates. So I know what to not to do. Movies are a horrible cliche idea. You don't get to really know a person. You just stare at a screen and eat popcorn. Honestly the best first dates I have ever been on are over coffee or tea, going to a museum, or even just going for a walk in the park(if you are into that.). Things like that are intimate and you can talk over things, get to know each other. Yet still public enough that it isn't uncomfortable.
Movies and dinners can take too long. If you don't hit it off it ends up very awkward. You are like eeehh well that was, something.
Yes first dates can be uncomfortable if you actually like a person. Normally due to the fear of doing something off putting. Honestly inside I splash like a magikarp. But if you don't ask a girl or a guy out, you will always ask what if? It is better to risk it and know the answer then forever wondering.
Yeah movies should be an option only when it's a hyper flick that your both stoked about and just happened to know each other before its prime re or something...actually anything that you both enjoy (drinking over-rated coffies or an admiration for art) seems like a good idea for a first date.
To me I don't find it terribly hard to find if a woman is attracted to you or not, if she is and it's the first time you see eachother the one's that are really attracted just smile endlessly and lighten up considerably.
Also, does anyone notice that certain races are attracted...how should I say these...more to them? Or is it just me looking for patterns like I usually do.
To me I don't find it terribly hard to find if a woman is attracted to you or not, if she is and it's the first time you see eachother the one's that are really attracted just smile endlessly and lighten up considerably.
Also, does anyone notice that certain races are attracted...how should I say these...more to them? Or is it just me looking for patterns like I usually do.
What I was basically saying was all dates should have an easy out. With going for tea or coffee at a diner you can be like, Uh I'm done. Or an museum 'I saw all the things I wanted to.'
Perhaps I am bias because I am the queen of bad dates and I just get stuck there wanting to run. ~(@.@~) So I learned to always have an exit plan.
And no I personally have never had only a specific race been into me. But I know there are people who only into certain races.
Though Jelli just said, "Black men love me."
you definitely want a first date in "neutral territory" you can both leave from without having to leave together if it went badly or awkwardly. A movie or dinner or coffee or a walk in the park are all pretty cool. The more you can talk, the better.
you can get to "come over and watch this shitty movie and drink some shitty wine with me" around the third date
you can get to "come over and watch this shitty movie and drink some shitty wine with me" around the third date
It's because you're looking for a fairy tale when the world is full of beauty and intelligence if you're just willing to open your mind and take a leap.
Hopefully that means we're not completely shallow and sex-obsessed and have some emotions maybe
And this is why practically every cute Japanese Drama has a date scene at an aquarium-- it's super cliche in Japan, but it actually makes sense. You constantly walk around and talk to each other, but all the cool sea creatures and what-not gives you a fall-back to talk about so there's no awkward silences if you can't think of anything. Also, guys tend to know a bit more about creepy-crawlies (and fish) so you can get a little "wow" mileage out of explaining stuff she doesn't know.
If you don't know your fish, it doesn't really matter though, since it's normal for people to not know about strange things, and it's still like you're discovering the exhibits together. Dolphin shows are fun, penguin shows are cute, and jellyfish glow-ups are beautiful/romantic. You got all the tools to make whatever tone to the date you want, as long as you pick the right aquarium and your date doesn't hate sea animals.
Food for thought. In any case, a date where you get conversation + some experience to talk about probably trumps just coffee. Especially on a first date, where a bit of distraction is probably better.
...On another note, my current girlfriend, for our first date I asked her to get on a bullet train for 4 hours to stay at my place for a weekend, so, so much for neutral territory, lol.
^^^^^^^^
Speaking of which: Girls, I need your help - Namely, how to tell if girls like girls please??? I'm terrified of approaching girls because holy crap they are mean creatures if they don't like you and if you try to flirt with them and they're straight lord help us all
Edit: Ps Chou girls can know about animals too thanks!!!!!
Of course they can, but you're probably not going to invite a marine biology major on a date to the aquarium. I'm just talking about broad generalizations. Stereotyping may not be PC, but our brains rely on it for decision making because it works more often then not. >___>
On the other end of the spectrum, if you're like me and you have multiple aquariums set up at your house, and read through every book on crustaceans, mollusks, and fish in the library in your elementary school days-- protip: this is not the time to start a boring-ass lecture.
On the other end of the spectrum, if you're like me and you have multiple aquariums set up at your house, and read through every book on crustaceans, mollusks, and fish in the library in your elementary school days-- protip: this is not the time to start a boring-ass lecture.
Protip - I'm an ecology major with a specialization in field ecology and conservational biology and I still LOVE the zoo because hey I know a lot about it! Do something you guys *enjoy*
I think the concern here is that guys don't often know something what they and the girl would enjoy, and yet they have to be proactive to make a good impression.
Asking what they want to do is always nice!
implying girls know what they want.
(In seriousness though, how often do people actually answer that question instead of saying "oh I dunno, I'm cool with whatever" or the like?)
God so much this... i have stopped asking girls what they want to do on the first date entirely (or asking a girl what they want for dinner) because the only thing they say is "I don't care! You pick!"
<&dodrio> do u guys think
<&dodrio> lonelyness gets the tip wet
<&dodrio> daily
<&dodrio> by girls
Yeah, asking what a girl wants to do is not the best way to go usually.
Not only do you rarely get a useful response, but you:
A) Lose the opportunity to gain points by being pro-active and decisive
B) May lose points for not being pro-active
C) Potentially drop the ball in her court, losing the opportunity to take the date to your comfort/confident zone.
This is talking about the majority of girls of course, there's always those who break the mold to differing extent. Use your empathy to get a read.
Not only do you rarely get a useful response, but you:
A) Lose the opportunity to gain points by being pro-active and decisive
B) May lose points for not being pro-active
C) Potentially drop the ball in her court, losing the opportunity to take the date to your comfort/confident zone.
This this this this this this, 100x this. Girls say with their mouths they want a guy who's intelligent, sweet, and kind (which may be true a few months down the relationship), but initially they are attracted to guys who are confident, decisive, manly, and leave a strong impression.
This is talking about the majority of girls of course, there's always those who break the mold to differing extent. Use your empathy to get a read.
Fishy
tits McGee (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
i mean, i don't expect either party to have much planned that they can't just pull out of thin air at a moment's notice - first dates are about getting to know one another, so it's not like either of you can be relaxed for familiar enough to suggest doing something you'll both like, besides the fool-proof foods or movie stuff. but I think it's attractive if someone is eager to do a certain thing, and the other party just agrees outright. it's definitely less about what you're doing and more about doing something that puts you two in an easy going environment to get to know one another!
Alice
The worst taste in music
Girls are mean creatures indeed, ow poor kid.
Ok imma set a few things straight.
Girls like confidence. Even if they like a guy that is nerdy and awkward, they still want him to be able to make decisions. Instead of asking what they want to do, pick something first then go, "Hey, I think we should do this, you cool with that?" If they say yes and look like they mean it then great. If they look like or say they don't like the idea just ask what could be better.
This shows you have initiative and are sensitive to what they want as well.
As for a first date, the most successful first dates I've had were little quiet walks in the park or just hanging around getting to know each other. Don't just categorise dates as formal set meetings. Dates are just another word for couple time.
Seriously, it all boils down to be confident, make decisions and be sensitive. It's not difficult it just takes less overthinking and more actual feeling.
Girls like confidence. Even if they like a guy that is nerdy and awkward, they still want him to be able to make decisions. Instead of asking what they want to do, pick something first then go, "Hey, I think we should do this, you cool with that?" If they say yes and look like they mean it then great. If they look like or say they don't like the idea just ask what could be better.
This shows you have initiative and are sensitive to what they want as well.
As for a first date, the most successful first dates I've had were little quiet walks in the park or just hanging around getting to know each other. Don't just categorise dates as formal set meetings. Dates are just another word for couple time.
Seriously, it all boils down to be confident, make decisions and be sensitive. It's not difficult it just takes less overthinking and more actual feeling.
Agreed!
I think you want to aim for a first date where it's possible to post-facto say it was either a date if it went well, and just friends hanging out if it wasn't. That's why the familiar tropes work so well.
i think that's actually kinda true, I'm probably doing that on a subconscious superficial level that I don't even realise it but ahh it's pretty much impossible to ignore a person's particular physical traits (that would catch your attention) don't you guys think?
actually, here's another food for thought: i personally think it's IMPOSSIBLE to fall in love or have a relationship with someone you don't find physically attractive. would you guys agree?
no way! I have heaps of lesbian friends and they're like the most down to earth people ever, like seriously they are all somehow so chill it's ridiculous
and tbh, you just sorta know? personally with pretty much any gay guys, i always just know. a gaydar i guess. but yeah, if you wanna meet lesbians why not just go to a predominantly gay place or gay friendly at least?
for e.g. here in sydney, if you go to oxford st. in museum, around that area you'll find a concentration of gays and lesbians and very open about it! i'm sure there's similar areas where you are :)
