the presumptive best nfl teams (Texans, Packers, Falcons though not really falcons they suck dick) all got the shit trolled out of them today...but they also all won in the end
Patriots are scary...I feel embarrassed for having rated them as low as #6 before, because they are a lot better than teams with or without injuries. Texans > Patriots > Packers > Bears
list of the only offenses on this par the past several seasons via the requirement of three straight 35+ point games (a basis for elite offenses that many of you may have never heard of, because I made this one up)
1993 Fortyniners (lost to Super Bowl Obliteratin' Cowboys)
1994 Fortyniners (won the Super Bowl)
1995 Fortyniners (lost to the Packers, who would win a Super Bowl the next year and go to the next one after)
1997 Broncos (Elwayed the Super Bowl)
1998 Vikings (lost to the Super Bowl losing Falcons, weak)
1999 Rams (oops greatest offense of all time, CFLed the fuck out of the Super Bowl)
2000 Rams (yawn taking a year off, still the best offense of all time)
2000 Broncos (lost to the Super Bowl winning Ravens)
2002 Eagles (lost to the Super Bowl pirating Buccaneers)
2002 Saints (how the fuck they did it who knows, missed playoffs but this streak was against a 7-9, 9-6-1, and 10-6 team so it was intense)
2004 Colts (if you cannot guess they lost to the Super Bowl winning Patriots you are really bad at following this post by now)
2004 Bills (after a stretch involving 2 6 point games in just 4 games, they magically ripped off 37, 38, 42, 37, 33, and 41 points and then lost to the Steelers and whiffed the playoffs anyway in one of the most inspiringly futile struggles against futility in NFL history)
2005 Colts (no huddle offense was the best in the league, lost to the Super Bowl Thievin' Steelers D)
2005 Bengals (no huddle offense, second best in the league to the Colts, lost to the Super Bowl Thievin' Steelers D)
2007 Patriots (lost a Super Bowl to luck)
2009 Saints (won a Super Bowl)
2010 Patriots (hahahaha losing to the Jets)
2011 Packers (lost to the Super Bowl Thievin' Giants)
2011 Saints (lost to the thieved out of a Super Bowl 49ers)
basically this offense is going to very likely raise some fucking hell in the playoffs, of the 19 teams 4 won the Super Bowl, 2 lost the Super Bowl, and an impressive 9 lost to the team who won the Super Bowl, which is actually a fairly staggering rate
I am pretty addicted to looking shit like this up oops
keep in mind that the only repeat offenders (GET IT HAHAHA) to put up these numbers twice in a short period all won a Super Bowl then or shortly after...the Fortyniners won it the second time, the Colts won it after two times, the Rams won it the first time, then went to a Super Bowl again shortly afterward, Saints won it the first time but did not go back well whatever okay fuck the Giants
Anyway, only dumb luck or the Texans loom large between the Patriots and more Super Bowl dreams, with the death of the Ravens D I do not see how anyone could stop the Patriots pre-Super Bowl besides the Texans, and if they get there I think that they are 90% winning it all.
I think I've done enough crying now to give my thoughts on the Eagles:
We suck.
See you next week!
worry not I will no longer attempt to point you toward optimism, the Eagles are a fuckup machine