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The Everything some hero (NFL) Thread - 2015-16 Season
- Thread starter WaterBomb
- Start date
- Status
Like I said, talentless patriots struggling against an average team that was missing their best player(and arguably the best player at his position) at home. "But the patriots are mad and are going to blow out teams"- my ass. They're just another mediocre team and will struggle all season long.
What I learned from last night:
1) Opening day in the NFL has become a gaudy and unnecessary spectacle. This isn't the Super Bowl, we don't need an entire day of fanfare.
2) Ellie Goulding and T-Pain both suck.
3) Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski are still every bit as ridiculous as we have come to expect.
4) Dion Lewis definitely has a lot of potential. I was most impressed with his fluidity and elusiveness in the open field. He has great burst as well. He is going to make a deadly combination with Blount Force Trauma.
5) New England should be a little concerned that their defense gave so much turf to a team with a 32 year old RB and missing 60% of its aerial firepower.
6) Pittsburgh's secondary is HILARIOUSLY awful. I realize Gronkowski is a freak of nature and almost impossible to cover, but just ignoring him isn't going to help either.
7) Pittsburgh's front seven actually played pretty well, including FINALLY a decent performance from Jarvis Jones. Hopefully he can continue that.
8) I am pleased that Pittsburgh's offense was still able to be effective minus Bell, Bryant and Pouncey. Once those guys are back they'll be tough to stop.
9) kek Josh Scobee
1) Opening day in the NFL has become a gaudy and unnecessary spectacle. This isn't the Super Bowl, we don't need an entire day of fanfare.
2) Ellie Goulding and T-Pain both suck.
3) Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski are still every bit as ridiculous as we have come to expect.
4) Dion Lewis definitely has a lot of potential. I was most impressed with his fluidity and elusiveness in the open field. He has great burst as well. He is going to make a deadly combination with Blount Force Trauma.
5) New England should be a little concerned that their defense gave so much turf to a team with a 32 year old RB and missing 60% of its aerial firepower.
6) Pittsburgh's secondary is HILARIOUSLY awful. I realize Gronkowski is a freak of nature and almost impossible to cover, but just ignoring him isn't going to help either.
7) Pittsburgh's front seven actually played pretty well, including FINALLY a decent performance from Jarvis Jones. Hopefully he can continue that.
8) I am pleased that Pittsburgh's offense was still able to be effective minus Bell, Bryant and Pouncey. Once those guys are back they'll be tough to stop.
9) kek Josh Scobee
Too bad for Lewis that he fumbled and he won't see any playing time till October now
I'm sure this Patriots fan was model citizen that was just casually rooting on his favorite team in a completely respectful manner until he was viciously assaulted by a Steeler's coach
and btw I didn't ask for these powers:
and btw I didn't ask for these powers:
Also the Raiiiiiduhssss have a pretty scary dline until aldon gets suspended for whatever he did. They might get to 6-10 this year
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Except that the Pats shredded the Steelers D? ._.
I'm sure the Steelers coach was being an asshole and what not, but how do you get assaulted by a 62 year old? kek
Uh no. This was probably my favorite opening day ever, and i HATE Brady and all the cheatriots(except for Gronk, whose the only legit player on that team). I almost teared up a little when i saw Brady and the Pats coming out. It was a really emotional moment. The build up to that was NOT enough. Opening day should be turned into Opening Week. For example, you have an entire week building up to a Sunday afternoon game between whatever champ atm and some team, then that is Opening Day which would kick off Opening Week. There would be a Monday night Game on ESPN and a Thursday night game on CBS and finally ending week 1 the next sunday with football all day. Though in this dream scenarion there would be 2 week 1 Monday night football games. Point is THAT WASN'T NEARLY ENOUGH FANFARE DAMN IT. AND I HATE THE PATS AND I COULDNT GET ENOUGH OUT OF IT.
Lol for someone whose favorite team upset the Pats in the Super Bowl twice, your hate seems unjustified. Brady is the Giants and Eli's bitch. You should be grateful that you're the only team who's allowed to talk shit about Brady's Patriots. Instead, you're hating. Someone's jealous of 4 Super Bowls in 14 years?
Saying you hate them isn't an insult, so nothing wrong with that, but literally calling them the cheatriots and saying Gronk's the only legit player doesn't seem to be too much of a compliment, but maybe that's just me.
Perusing the thread, I can't help but notice that there's a significant lack of Dallas Cowboys homerism in this thread.
LETS FUCKING FIX THAT, SHALL WE?!
SO LET'S LEAD OFF WITH BROKEBACK ROMO. HEAD WARLOCK OF THE HOUSE OF THE UNDYING. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CONFIDENCE THE COWBOYS HAVE IN THIS GUY? HIS BACKUP IS STILL BRANDON WEEDEN, WHO IS APPROXIMATELY 103 YEARS OLD. AND IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, BECAUSE ROMO IS NOT GOING TO BE TOUCHED. THE GREAT WALL OF DALLAS STANDS TALL AND STRONG.
SO THE BACKFIELD. DEMARCO MURRAY SKIPPED TOWN FOR PHILLY, YEA. SO WHAT? HOW THE HELL ARE ANY DEFENSES GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP JOSEPH RANDLE, LEGENDARY UNDERWEAR THIEF? HOW ARE THEY GONNA STOP LEGENDARY HIP-HOP GROUP RUN DMC? THE DALLAS AREA RAPID TRANSIT IS LEAVING THE STATION, MOTHERFUCKERS.
YOU PROBABLY KNOW THE NAME OF AT LEAST THREE OF OUR OFFENSIVE LINEMAN. THREE. HOW MANY OTHER TEAMS HAVE EVEN ONE RECOGNIZABLE LINEMAN?! NOT A TON, LEMME TELL YA THAT. EVERY TIME ROMO DROPS BACK TO PASS YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO REFILL YOUR SHITTY-ASS PISSWATER BEER BECAUSE HE'S GONNA HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO HIS FUCKING TAXES IN THE POCKET. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE FUMBLES ANOTHER GODDAMN SNAP BECAUSE HE'LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PICK IT BACK UP, REALIZE THE FENG SHUI ON THE FIELD ISN'T QUITE RIGHT, PUT IT BACK DOWN, AND PICK IT UP FROM A DIFFERENT GODDAMN ANGLE.
OH, SO NOW YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT DEFENSE? LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING DEFENSE. WE GRABBED GREG HARDY AND LA'EL COLLINS OVER THE OFFSEASON. GREG HARDY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIS WIFE - THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HE'LL DO TO YOUR OFFENSIVE LINE? AND I'M PRETTY SURE COLLINS WEIGHS 492 POUNDS AND COULD BENCH PRESS YOUR AVERAGE SUBURBAN FAMILY.
LINEBACKERS? WE GOT THOSE TOO, MOTHERFUCKER. SEAN LEE'S FINALLY BACK ON THE FIELD, AND AFTER ALL OF HIS LEG SURGERIES HIS NEW BIONIC LIMB SHOULD BE NIGH INVINCIBLE. ROLANDO MCLAIN IS A LINEBACKER FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA, WHICH MEANS HE'S BETTER THAN YOUR LINEBACKERS BY DEFAULT. WE'VE GOT OTHER LINEBACKERS TOO, AND NOBODY KNOWS THEIR FUCKING NAMES, WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE PUTS THEM ON PAR WITH THE LEGENDARY DOLPHINS NO-NAME DEFENSE.
DEFENSIVE BACKS? WHO THE FUCK NEEDS DEFENSIVE BACKS. THE SEAHAWKS HAD PLENTY OF DEFENSIVE BACKS, AND DID THAT WIN THEM A FUCKING SUPERBOWL? OF COURSE NOT. THE PATRIOTS WON THE SUPERBOWL WITH REVIS AND A BUNCH OF POTATO SACKS IN THE SECONDARY. THE COWBOYS HAVEN'T HAD A SECONDAR SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS. FUCK DEFENSIVE BACKS.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, WE HAVE THE BEST GODDAMNED KICKER IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, KING BAILEY, THE FIRST OF HIS NAME. LONG MAY HE REIGN, AND FUCK MIKE VANDERJAGT WITH A SLIDE RULE.
So yea, I'm thinking like 11-5.
LETS FUCKING FIX THAT, SHALL WE?!
SO LET'S LEAD OFF WITH BROKEBACK ROMO. HEAD WARLOCK OF THE HOUSE OF THE UNDYING. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CONFIDENCE THE COWBOYS HAVE IN THIS GUY? HIS BACKUP IS STILL BRANDON WEEDEN, WHO IS APPROXIMATELY 103 YEARS OLD. AND IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, BECAUSE ROMO IS NOT GOING TO BE TOUCHED. THE GREAT WALL OF DALLAS STANDS TALL AND STRONG.
SO THE BACKFIELD. DEMARCO MURRAY SKIPPED TOWN FOR PHILLY, YEA. SO WHAT? HOW THE HELL ARE ANY DEFENSES GONNA BE ABLE TO STOP JOSEPH RANDLE, LEGENDARY UNDERWEAR THIEF? HOW ARE THEY GONNA STOP LEGENDARY HIP-HOP GROUP RUN DMC? THE DALLAS AREA RAPID TRANSIT IS LEAVING THE STATION, MOTHERFUCKERS.
YOU PROBABLY KNOW THE NAME OF AT LEAST THREE OF OUR OFFENSIVE LINEMAN. THREE. HOW MANY OTHER TEAMS HAVE EVEN ONE RECOGNIZABLE LINEMAN?! NOT A TON, LEMME TELL YA THAT. EVERY TIME ROMO DROPS BACK TO PASS YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO REFILL YOUR SHITTY-ASS PISSWATER BEER BECAUSE HE'S GONNA HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO HIS FUCKING TAXES IN THE POCKET. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF HE FUMBLES ANOTHER GODDAMN SNAP BECAUSE HE'LL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PICK IT BACK UP, REALIZE THE FENG SHUI ON THE FIELD ISN'T QUITE RIGHT, PUT IT BACK DOWN, AND PICK IT UP FROM A DIFFERENT GODDAMN ANGLE.
OH, SO NOW YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT DEFENSE? LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING DEFENSE. WE GRABBED GREG HARDY AND LA'EL COLLINS OVER THE OFFSEASON. GREG HARDY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIS WIFE - THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HE'LL DO TO YOUR OFFENSIVE LINE? AND I'M PRETTY SURE COLLINS WEIGHS 492 POUNDS AND COULD BENCH PRESS YOUR AVERAGE SUBURBAN FAMILY.
LINEBACKERS? WE GOT THOSE TOO, MOTHERFUCKER. SEAN LEE'S FINALLY BACK ON THE FIELD, AND AFTER ALL OF HIS LEG SURGERIES HIS NEW BIONIC LIMB SHOULD BE NIGH INVINCIBLE. ROLANDO MCLAIN IS A LINEBACKER FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA, WHICH MEANS HE'S BETTER THAN YOUR LINEBACKERS BY DEFAULT. WE'VE GOT OTHER LINEBACKERS TOO, AND NOBODY KNOWS THEIR FUCKING NAMES, WHICH I'M PRETTY SURE PUTS THEM ON PAR WITH THE LEGENDARY DOLPHINS NO-NAME DEFENSE.
DEFENSIVE BACKS? WHO THE FUCK NEEDS DEFENSIVE BACKS. THE SEAHAWKS HAD PLENTY OF DEFENSIVE BACKS, AND DID THAT WIN THEM A FUCKING SUPERBOWL? OF COURSE NOT. THE PATRIOTS WON THE SUPERBOWL WITH REVIS AND A BUNCH OF POTATO SACKS IN THE SECONDARY. THE COWBOYS HAVEN'T HAD A SECONDAR SINCE I WAS IN DIAPERS. FUCK DEFENSIVE BACKS.
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, WE HAVE THE BEST GODDAMNED KICKER IN THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, KING BAILEY, THE FIRST OF HIS NAME. LONG MAY HE REIGN, AND FUCK MIKE VANDERJAGT WITH A SLIDE RULE.
So yea, I'm thinking like 11-5.
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