So that placeholder post for flavor is really behind and no one would see it so I'll just slap the "flavor" over here. This is kinda gonna be odd as this is basically gonna be the story of my Nuzlocke as if I was playing Ghosts and Goblins on the NES. It also puts a little bit of the elements of "The Hunger Games" as this is what it was based on. My flavor is kinda gonna alternate between different games so yeah.
I am Arthur, a knight who is in a (picnic?) with the Princess named Prin Prin. Without me having any resistance, Satan, the king of the Demon world, kidnaps Princess Prin Prin from my grasp. Now I must come and rescue the princess, getting in my frail armor that isn't even birdproof. It is called "Piplup". I make my first few steps in my journey to save her and I meet my rival for the rest of my journey, Firebrand, who challenges me to a duel. In a grueling face-off that went Pound for Pound (get the pun?), I successfully defeated Firebrand. As I go on I meet a companion that will aid me along the way. It is a nice and handy Knife that shoots a lot faster than my lance. Being the weird knight that I am I decided to call it "Starly" as I killed a bird with it (yeah i know, wtf). On the way I encounter multiple other foes and even some companions that may help me out along the journey (obviously to this guy, companions means weapons/armor) they are called "Bidoof" and "Zubat". I know delve deep into the place searching for my first great challenge against the keyholder, Roark. After searching in a mine for him, I encounter another help called "Geodude" which helps me along my journey. After finally fighting the Keyholder, I had to sacrifice two of my companions in order to beat this grueling beast. Sadly, this meant Bidoof and Zubat had to go. However, even in my underwear, I successfully beat Roark and gain the key to the next level.
Placeholder. I apologize for being a little late, but I literally did not have access to my game until this morning. Will upload pics and add flavor and stuff I guess.
that's Napoleon, Nala, Galbat, Fleur, Elvis, and Mystery right after getting the first gym badge
Adventure Journal: Day 1 It was a dark and stormy night. (It wasn’t really that stormy though. But hey, at least it was nighttime! This is how all good stories start off, right?) Anyway, this old fellow was talking to me, saying pretty much the same stuff I heard the great Professor Oak say one time, down to the “Are you a boy or girl” line. I told him my name was Focus and that my friend’s name was Barry, and he promptly sent us off into the grand world of Pokémon.
I suddenly jolted awake, realizing that I must have fallen asleep watching the Red Gyarados coverage. Now all that was on was a crappy interview with the Pokémon Professor of Sinnoh. “Hmm, that must be where that voice came from,” I posited. His name was apparently Professor Rowan, but I didn’t pay much attention; it was like I was mashing through the dialogue of life. I just had to get my stuff in order quickly; Text Speed: Fast; Battle Style: Set. I was going off to crawl into my own bed when Barry barged in yelling about something I don’t remember, and practically dragged me outside. Before I knew it, I was saying my goodbyes to Mom, who warned me never to go out in tall grass without a rifle lawn mower Pokémon companion. Duly noted. Barry, scatterbrained as always, claimed that he forgot something of his and went to his house. When he was done hiding his Playboys, we headed off into the vast unknown. (It sure was a bummer not being allowed to leave town for all my life up to this point.)
Barry was about to bolt it through the grass when we were halted by a deep, powerful voice. What are the odds? It was Prof. Rowan! What great timing! Mom would have killed me if she found out that I would have gone in the tall grass. Maybe. After zoning out what was being said, I basically heard blahblahhaveaPokémon . Sweet. I flipped a convenient three-sided die earlier which turned up Piplup (don’t ask), so I chose the cute little baby penguin that somehow turns into a Steel-type, rather than an Ice-type. The internet said so. The internet also said that Piplup’s evolution was the same height as this Napoleon guy, and I’m a big fan of Napoleon Dynamite, so I decided to nickname him Napoleon! Maybe later though. Out of the blue, Barry challenged me to a battle with his recently-caught Turtwig. Wait, BARRY chose Turtwig, the freaking tortoise!?! The same Barry who can’t hold still for two miliseconds?
So we fought our new pets TO THE DEATH!!! Kinda. He just kept telling Turtwig to use Withdraw for some reason. He never was the brightest of the bunch. Once he finally got around to attacking me, it was too late. Since his pet was near death because of his sheer ineptitude, we both booked it home to recuperate. Barry wanted to see if there was some legendary Pokémon at the nearby lake, so we did that. Stuff happened, and we were off to Sandgem to get some Pokéballs. Oh yeah, we met Rowan’s own pet Dawn in there somewhere. She looked almost like...a female version of me! I think I may have seen her in that dream I had with Rowan’s voice, but I just couldn’t remember. She looked almost like looking into a mirror, as if she was my sister. (Who did Mom say was my father again?)
Anyway I got to Rowan’s, officially named my dearest cutiewootiePiplup “Napoleon”, and headed off with a shiny new Pokédex. Hey, if nothing else this could make me a few bucks on PokÉbay later on. I also got a few Poké Balls! I wanted to go on to meet up with Barry in Jubilife, but nooo. Dawn was in my way. She even broke the unspoken Trainer rule that when two Trainers lock eyes, they have to battle, and the loser must step aside! What nerve. She was all, “yo scrubnub go back to youre mommy lol” and I did that because I was in a hurry and she would not shut up. It was nearing my unreasonably late bedtime, anyway. So I made it back, encountering a wild Starly. Shoot, can’t catch anything on this Route now. It looked at us funny, and Napoleon looked hungry for blood, so I let him Pound the poor creature to death. Hooray!
I said hi to Mom, and she gave me this very Journal! We were chatting for a bit before I was about to go to bed, but she got really defensive when I brought up Dawn, so she kicked me out of the house. Rude! I finally got back to Dawn, and she condescendingly showed me how to catch Pokémon. Just who did she take me for? She FINALLY got out of my way long enough for me to see a wild female Shinx! Hellz yeah! I caught it, and named it Nala (is it supposed to be a lion?). I’m surprised that after letting Napoleon beat her to an inch of death, she would immediately follow my every command. F***ing Poké Balls. How do they work?
Dawn once again blocked my path, AGAIN telling me how much of a noob I supposedly am. One of these days, one of these days... Luckily, Dawn noticed the shady middle-aged man in a trench coat stalking her. Dawn took that well enough though. The creeper called himself Looker and claimed to be from the international police. He also claimed to be the queen of Neptune and had a reindeer army, so I had to question his credentials.
Where was I? Oh yeah. I was going to say hey to Barry. It turns out he was just learning up on status ailments at the Trainers’ School, and he told me how much he learned. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him that it was a pre-school. While I was there, I had Napoleon beat the lunch money out of some kids for the lulz. As I stepped outside, a guy came up to me and told me to look for his no-doubt vastly underpaid underlings in clown suits all over town. I found them all, just nodding my head and saying an occasional “uh-huh” to their pointless jabbering. Can I get on to beating up innocent enslaved monsters with my own innocent enslaved monsters already?
He gave me a Pocket (Monster) Watch and I was off to find another team member to the north. The first thing I stumbled across was a female Budew and caught it. “Little Budew, I dub thee ‘Fleur’!” And then surprise buttse—I mean Barry battle. He had caught a really tweety Starly that wouldn’t do anything but growl as I beat it to death. He then sent out his dopey little Turtwig that apparently doesn’t know a Grass attack yet. I wonder: every time Barry loses a Turtwig does he just ask Professor Rowan for another one, or does he have a secret cloning operation going on in his basement? Oh hey, I won again.
Going towards the next town, I saw a female Zubat show up outside of a cave! My nightmares are coming true! This one was easy to catch too. I know, big surprise. It took me a while to think of a good nickname, and I had it narrowed down to Bella or Galbat. I soon realized that I wouldn’t ever with the name Bella on my worst enemy, so Galbat it was. Now for the Pokémon bloodshed!
I then headed off into a dinky little cave once I got bored with telling my monster minions to attack everything they see. In the cave, I came across a Psyduck. It looked at me, and I looked back at it. I already have a Piplup so a second Water-type would be redundant, and there’s no sense wasting a good Poké Ball. It stared at me, as if telling me, “No please don’t! I have a family! I-I could be useful too, I promise!” I gave Fleur the orders to kill. I caught a glimpse of a single tear in its eye as it hit the ground.
Oreburgh was indeed a stone’s throw away from the cave’s exit. Get it? It’s funny because this town is all about rocks! This little kid showed me around town. And by that, I mean he made me walk ten steps toward the Gym. I honestly don’t know where I’d be today without that wonderful little boy showing me where to go to find the Gym. For all I know, I could be just hopelessly thudding into a wall somewhere. But thanks to that little kid, I was able to see that the Gym was in an obvious place in the middle of town! If you are reading this, allow me to say “thank you” for that valuable and life-changing service you provided me. I will never forget your vital assistance on my journey (probably)!
So there’s a mining museum. Boring! Let’s go monster-hunting! I found a female Ponyta just north of that sad excuse for a city. I named it Mystery after that sea horse from Spongebob. Oh crap! I should have named her Wildfire! Too late now, I guess... Onward to the mines! I decided not to train Mystery much there for fear that the whole place might blow up. I don’t know what the regulations are for having a flame-covered horse in a coal mine, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Besides, she couldn’t do shit against the Rock-types there. Speaking of which, I snagged a Geodude and named him Elvis. You know, because it is a Rock-type and learns Rollout.
I saw Roarke in there taking a break from life or something. I guess he gets his kicks from watching manly Pokémon do manly things like crush rocks, not that there’s anything wrong with that! We both scampered to the Gym to undergo a no-doubt amazing battle. Ha! His underlings got destroyed by my Napoleon and Fleur power duo with zero trouble, but I took every precaution to make sure his Pokémog got what was coming for them: a bubble bath from Napoleon and getting sucked to death by Fleur. Yikes, that came out so much more wrong than I intended.
Roarke was a joke. Fleur just wrecked shop with Growth and Absorb / Mega Drain. His Cranidos gave me a slight scare when it used Headbutt to put Budew in KO range! Luckily it didn’t get the crit or flinch, so Fleur was able to suck the very life out of his pet rocks with no problem. One happy dance later, all of my Pokémon and I did a victory jig over the corpses of Roarke’s rocks! I shined up my newly acquired badge, and we all took a well-deserved break until next time.
Hmm, that was the wrong button! Oh well! Time to get 4 more tributes then!
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