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dealbreakers

List of dealbreakers

- Playing "hard to get" (We're adults here. If you're interested in me, make it clear. I make my expectations clear, you should do the same. I'm tired of those stupid games, especially after what happened the last time.)

- Smoking. I just hate it. Weed's a different case, but I'm just trying to err on the right side of the law here. If you smoke weed, fine, just try not to get me into any trouble if you get caught. Tobacco though is disgusting and expensive.

- Cheating. Self-explanatory. You do this, you're gone, as in gather your things right now, you're gone. I won't give you a second chance, because you'll invariably use it to cheat. Again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If I find out that the guy you were with did this because he could, and you fell for it, I'm coming after him too for being a prick. Also, don't try to cheat on me; I will find out. If it's a girl, the same is taking place, because to me, that means you think I'm insufficient. And I'm no hypocrite who makes exceptions for shit like girl on girl is hot.

- Not communicating with me. If there's something you want to know/need/whatever, TELL ME. I'm pretty open and reasonable if you just tell me what it is.

- On size: If you're taller than me, it just won't work out. I just can't get past this. I have to feel like the taller person for the sake of being a protector. As for boobs, nothing too large; there really is a such thing as too much. That said, flat-chestedness may be a turn-off depending on how things pan out. A good median here.

- Being fat. Not slightly overweight (hey, fat chicks need love too), but morbidly obese. I take care of myself, the least you could do is take care of yourself. This extends to hygiene too.

- Being a cunt/annoying. Self-explanatory.

- Having some sort of attraction to "bad boys". There is a Cracked article on this bullshit. Long story short, you're the cause of all the bullshit and terrible human beings. I want nothing to do with that shit.
 
The sum total of time lost holding a door is always greater for both people combined with one holding the door, and the time saved on average for both people involved (not combined) will be highest with a proper shove of the door with arm already near full extension, pushing it the furthest open it can go. I am sorry that my improving life for everyone interferes with your pussy's need to be waited on hand and foot.

p.s. if you are pre-college age, you may want to look into small universities because clearly you cannot handle situations with mass amounts of people streaming through doors
 
You don't have to do a goddamn bow or anything, just hold it behind you for a few seconds so they don't have to open a closed door again. People don't thank you for cutting a few milliseconds off of their journey because of your superb arm technique, they do it because you showed a simple act of kindness.
 
Just to keep consistent with the thread, I guess I'll share some of my prior dealbreakers for discussion:

smoking/dipping/chewing - I find it physically repulsive, not just for the act itself but its affects on the body (bad breath, stained teeth, cancer, etc)

too skinny - if I can visibly see your ribcage, or completely encircle your collarbone with my fingers, you are too damn skinny.

jealousy - This can be a pretty fuzzy line to walk because it's almost impossible for a person to be completely devoid of any jealousy, but the kind I'm referring to is the irrational kind that the woman feels obligated to highlight every 5 minutes. I'm not bothered by a little jealousy from time to time, but it has to be few and far between and god damn it KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.

rudeness/ignorance/intolerance - pretty self explanatory. If you are as cuddly as a cactus you can forget it.

arrogance - probably my biggest dealbreaker of them all. Any woman who feels that the man is obligated to serve her and spend wads of cash on her as if she were royalty can kiss my ass. I'm all for chivalry, but it should be done because the guy wants to, not because the woman expects him to. Humility to me, conversely, is a huge turn-on.

raging in public - This can be while driving or just in normal situations when you're in public. Kind of goes along with the rudeness one, but I felt like separating it because I've actually broken up with a girl because of it. If you're going to pick a fight with some random person because they got to a parking spot before you, or if you're going to reprimand your waiter/waitress for something beyond their control in an obnoxiously loud way, gtfo. Also road rage equally unacceptable. Please don't endanger my life because you're driving like a maniac out of anger after the guy in front of you changed lanes without signaling.

baggage - Definitely a dealbreaker. If you have trust issues because you dated some asshole before me, don't waste my time. I am my own person, I am not "every other guy"

cheating - Pretty obvious one, but I don't even allow it to get to the explanation/excuse phase. If you cheat, I don't care what your so-called "excuse" is, you're gone. There is no excuse for cheating. Period.

Of course, being married now makes all of these not really matter to me anymore, but I'm sure some people share the sentiment of the ideas themselves.
 
CaptKirby said:
The sum total of time lost holding a door is always greater for both people combined with one holding the door, and the time saved on average for both people involved (not combined) will be highest with a proper shove of the door with arm already near full extension, pushing it the furthest open it can go. I am sorry that my improving life for everyone interferes with your pussy's need to be waited on hand and foot.
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This isn't the first thread in which you've posted in detail about people holding doors, is it? This all sounds very familiar...
 
Odds are if a woman looks like I already punched her in the face, I don't see anything happening.

A lot of others of mine have already been mentioned like cheating, smoking, stupidity, and skeletor-girls.
 
Iamslow said:
This isn't the first thread in which you've posted in detail about people holding doors, is it? This all sounds very familiar...
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Probably not. They hold true at all times. Unless someone is a cripple, there is never going to be a situation in which one person stopping and holding open a door for one stranger is going to be optimal.

Improbability, I am not looking for thanks, just like I am not looking to cater to the gaping pussies of anyone who would be upset by me not holding a door open. I am looking to save everyone time, especially myself.
 
Wow, lots of people in this thread are going to be alone for a long time. And when did CK turn into a raging, illogical feminist?

Tortferngatr said:
Does alcohol
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rofl what

As a 16-year-old guy
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Oh

Ivysaur said:
also I was joking about the tiny dick thing, goodness
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the hell you were, don't even TRY to back out of that one

Myzozoa said:
Someone said something earlier about holding doors open. don't do this for women and never will. I am not in the business of holding doors open for people, and hopefully whoever I'm around (dating or otherwise) is able bodied enough to handle light tasks else they shouldnt go out in public. I really feel like I'm respecting people more because its like I'm saying "I have every confidence that you are capable enough as a person to do things yourself." Am I a strange person because of this?
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No, you're just arrogant and impolite.
 
-good looking
-nice personality (i.e. not a bitch)

honestly I think at my age (19) you can look past most peoples bad habits. I'm hardly perfect so I can't expect my girlfriend to be. I smoke and do drugs (she doesn't) which she puts up with. She's taller than me in heels, ditzy as hell and barely goes down on me (trying to fix this though it's annoying as fuck). All I really care about is that she is hot and we have a laugh together so I can look past little stuff for now. Maybe once I try to settle down with someone properly I'll start pruning my selections for flaws more?

(I'm pretty fussy about the nice personality/good looking parts though)...
 
A lot of the "dealbreakers" in this thread seem to be petty annoyances rather than anything substantial. Granted, those petty annoyances can turn into huge problems when you start to hate the person, but hopefully that's not happening with an S.O. anyway.
 
Its a deal breaker when a girl doesn't have any ambitions or aspirations. Its also a huge turn off when they don't actively pursue them. I'm not saying you have to be aggressive about pursuing your goals, just don't sit by idly.

Unable to contribute anything to a conversation. I can carry over a conversation pretty well so continuing it shouldn't be too difficult (I KNOW SHE ISNT UNINTERESTED IN ME. #HoesOnMyDick cuz I look like the President).

No game. I have this incredibly cheesy way of delivering poetic compliments/hints of obsession. If were speaking in person and you're unable to say something equally as cheesy, if were texting and all you can come up with is a sideways smiley face or a fucking lol, you might as well kiss my ass goodbye.

Uninteresting. She doesn't have to be a football playing king in space but I'd like someone who doesn't just eat, sleep, repeat.

I guess those last three fit together.

Gender roles. Women should be able to fuck for pleasure just like men dont give me some bullshit double standard. This is especially true for all South American and African cultures. I guess it applies to both genders too. You should see how insecure men in the barbershop get when I bring that shit up. This doesn't mean I'm going to make you carry an 80 lb sack of rice into our kitchen or make you kill your feminine side, it just means in my eyes were already equal.

I wish I met more women that are 6'1/185 cm :(

Too comfortable with what she knows. I'm always trying new things. She doesn't have to accompany me in all my adventures or escapades but at least pretend to be interested in eating new food, trying a new sport, or traveling somewhere.

I hope I don't sound too egotistical/self-centered so far. I swear I'm very fair!

Oh, another one would be drama queens. Dont blow petty shit out of proportion please!
 
I don't think having dealbreakers is a bad thing. I think we're all entitled to be truly happy, and I also believe we each have a soulmate. Your soulmate, obviously, is going to be a near perfect (because perfection doesn't exist) match for you, so they won't have any of your dealbreakers. I think people should be very comfortable with what they like and don't like, because it makes dating much more pleasant. Yes, people need to be patient and tolerant, but there's nothing wrong with having a list of dealbreakers if they are really a turn-off for them. You might say my "smoking" dealbreaker is just a petty annoyance to you, but I can't help the fact I am physically repulsed by it. I'd like to think my list of dealbreakers is at least understandable, even if you don't agree with my view.
 
DM said:
Wow, lots of people in this thread are going to be alone for a long time. And when did CK turn into a raging, illogical feminist?
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You can almost perfectly predict what CK is going to say just by taking whatever a rational, tested, traditional philosophy would recommend, then saying the direct opposite of that in the most trite kind of conformist, sneering contrarianism possible. Fight the power dude!

Incidentally I should dial back a bit on drinking. I don't mind if you're a social drinker, it becomes a dealbreaker when you get smashed as a regular habit or otherwise show no attempt to restrain your binging.

I had asthma growing up and it's still enough to inhibit strenuous activity (but has no impact on routine tasks, thankfully). I don't need that vile smoke breath or that foul stench lingering around the house, or butts in the yard. Especially if exposure could cause my lungs to relapse.

Attn JarardoMartino: Most women consider punching them in the face a dealbreaker.
 
no deck knight that's a nosebreaker

this thread would be better if it were titled "turn-offs" because having so many qualities that would entirely put you off getting with someone is a pretty close-minded way to look at people, and will leave you alone for a very long time if you actually adhere to such standards
 
Ouro said:
Its a deal breaker when a girl doesn't have any ambitions or aspirations. Its also a huge turn off when they don't actively pursue them. I'm not saying you have to be aggressive about pursuing your goals, just don't sit by idly.

Unable to contribute anything to a conversation. I can carry over a conversation pretty well so continuing it shouldn't be too difficult (I KNOW SHE ISNT UNINTERESTED IN ME. #HoesOnMyDick cuz I look like the President).

No game. I have this incredibly cheesy way of delivering poetic compliments/hints of obsession. If were speaking in person and you're unable to say something equally as cheesy, if were texting and all you can come up with is a sideways smiley face or a fucking lol, you might as well kiss my ass goodbye.

Uninteresting. She doesn't have to be a football playing king in space but I'd like someone who doesn't just eat, sleep, repeat.

I guess those last three fit together.

Gender roles. Women should be able to fuck for pleasure just like men dont give me some bullshit double standard. This is especially true for all South American and African cultures. I guess it applies to both genders too. You should see how insecure men in the barbershop get when I bring that shit up. This doesn't mean I'm going to make you carry an 80 lb sack of rice into our kitchen or make you kill your feminine side, it just means in my eyes were already equal.

I wish I met more women that are 6'1/185 cm :(

Too comfortable with what she knows. I'm always trying new things. She doesn't have to accompany me in all my adventures or escapades but at least pretend to be interested in eating new food, trying a new sport, or traveling somewhere.

I hope I don't sound too egotistical/self-centered so far. I swear I'm very fair!

Oh, another one would be drama queens. Dont blow petty shit out of proportion please!
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yeah

i'm especially with you on the cheesiness thing, and that expands to all manners of wordplay. if a girl can't keep a good joke rolling i can't help but feel that she's kinda dumb!!

on a related note, one of my biggest gripes is when girls aren't well-acquainted with irony. posers beware, i don't mean like wolf shirts and whatever the fuck, i mean in terms of humour. 'sarcasm is the lowest form of humour' my ass.

almost all of my humour is sardonic, and it's usually completely deadpan and it can be incredibly alienating to new people i meet. this, despite its potential drawbacks, has the hidden benefit of letting me know exactly who i want to kiss (girls) and who i want to be besties with (guys). to me there is nothing funnier than well-timed irony. if a girl can't get on my level with that then it's definitely not going to work out. conversely, if a girl flashes me that acerbic wit, i'm gonna start writing her name next to my last name and dotting any potential i's with hearts.
 
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