butt stuff weirds me out
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Serious Relationships and Sex Ed Thread
- Thread starter Gabe
- Start date
It's almost as if Cosmo is widely known on the internet for having fucking terrible advice!
Also I've heard some horror stories about anal. I wanted to try it when I was younger, but nowadays I think more about the cleanup involved than about how the act would feel.
My first time sucked. Half-drunk with another chick in a hotel room on spring break and she was absolute garbage. Went 45 minutes before i gave up trying to get off.
Second partner over a period of a few days (i lost count of the number of times) was much better. Ranged from a few minutes if she'd had me hard for a while to 30-90 minutes if i'd already gotten off once already.
The girl I'm with right now and I haven't done it yet but she's pretty kinky. Lots of fingering going on these days mostly cause we're almost guaranteed to get walked in on if we try and go farther. Bit of an exhibitionist, doesn't mind ging down or getting fingered in public areas.
Moral of my story, dont be a dumbass and make your first time with some random you'll never see again while drunk
Second partner over a period of a few days (i lost count of the number of times) was much better. Ranged from a few minutes if she'd had me hard for a while to 30-90 minutes if i'd already gotten off once already.
The girl I'm with right now and I haven't done it yet but she's pretty kinky. Lots of fingering going on these days mostly cause we're almost guaranteed to get walked in on if we try and go farther. Bit of an exhibitionist, doesn't mind ging down or getting fingered in public areas.
Moral of my story, dont be a dumbass and make your first time with some random you'll never see again while drunk
this....
I agree wholeheartedly.
It just kind of weirds me. Not the most vanilla chick either. Just some things are best left alone. In my humble opinion, butt stuff is one of them.
I can third that notion. Even when I was with a girl that liked it, I couldn't get over the whole "poop comes from there" bit. Maybe one day I'll suck it up and give it a shot, but until then...
Poop comes from there.
Poop comes from there.
Those links were so hillarious but so disturbing at the same time.
As far as horror stories go, if you've ever seen a legitimately torn up ass, that's bad enough
i'm well aware that cosmo is bullshit wer, but i didn't realize they had actually said stuff like that, hahaha. jesus. cosmo is probably the worst magazine women should read (or men!) as it 100% promotes gender norms and puts dumb ideas like those linked into peoples' heads.
My favorite was giving the penis an indian rug burn. Seconded only by the clear obsession Cosmo has with food-sex. Poke your man with a fork? Seriously?
27. [When you’ve got an annoying roommate] "Rent a horror movie and play it while you have sex. If they hear any screams, they'll assume it's the movie."
This will also create a relaxed ambiance.
amazing
Most of the time people say they don't like anal because it's taboo and they've never actually tried it. To echo what others have said, anal is pretty good if done right. Always make sure you use plenty of lubrication (that warming KY stuff works well), work your way in VERY slowly and gradually, to give her time to adjust and minimize pain. Also you should stimulate her clit (or have her stimulate herself) while you are doing it to give her something else to focus on, because anal is much more pleasurable for the guy than it is for the girl. Once you've gotten all the way in and she's gotten used to it, you can begin to speed up your movement. Be very careful though, as it's going to be very tight and feel really good, and it makes holding your load considerably more challenging. The girls I've done it with told me afterward that it was strangely stimulating for them, but they needed a little extra "distraction" like fingering or massaging the clit to get real enjoyment from it.
tl;dr don't knock anal or say it weirds you out until you've TRIED it, and more than once at that. Using one experience to judge it is silly.
As far as normal sex goes, I've come to realize that sex actually gets better the more times you do it with the same person. When you have sex with a person you've never done it with before, you have no knowledge of what they like/don't like so the entire thing is an awkward, sloppy "feeling out" process (no pun intended). It takes a few times to really get in sync with one another, which is why I'm not a big fan of one night stands. They sound great in theory, but in execution they end up being underwhelming and awkward.
Once you've gotten to know (pun intended) a person well enough you get to know their hot buttons and what really makes them tick in bed. This improves the sex vastly and you have less occurrences of "meh, I've had better". Also, having emotional feelings toward the person makes everything better in bed. To be absolutely corny for a second, I will tell you that nothing compares to that moment when you're in bed with the woman you love and your eyes lock. I hope everyone here gets to experience that as I have.]
Finally, whatever you do, DO NOT burn yourself out by having sex all day errday with a person when you start a new relationship. I know you're going to want to because it's new and exciting, but I promise you will get bored and the relationship will end badly. If you pace yourselves, you won't get bored and the sex will be amazing for as long as you want it to be. This helps relationships remain healthy (obviously not the only factor, just a part of it) and the sex continues to improve.
Morals of the story: try anal more than once, one night stands are overrated, the more you have sex with the same person the more it improves, and pace yourself when you start a new relationship.
tl;dr don't knock anal or say it weirds you out until you've TRIED it, and more than once at that. Using one experience to judge it is silly.
As far as normal sex goes, I've come to realize that sex actually gets better the more times you do it with the same person. When you have sex with a person you've never done it with before, you have no knowledge of what they like/don't like so the entire thing is an awkward, sloppy "feeling out" process (no pun intended). It takes a few times to really get in sync with one another, which is why I'm not a big fan of one night stands. They sound great in theory, but in execution they end up being underwhelming and awkward.
Once you've gotten to know (pun intended) a person well enough you get to know their hot buttons and what really makes them tick in bed. This improves the sex vastly and you have less occurrences of "meh, I've had better". Also, having emotional feelings toward the person makes everything better in bed. To be absolutely corny for a second, I will tell you that nothing compares to that moment when you're in bed with the woman you love and your eyes lock. I hope everyone here gets to experience that as I have.]
Finally, whatever you do, DO NOT burn yourself out by having sex all day errday with a person when you start a new relationship. I know you're going to want to because it's new and exciting, but I promise you will get bored and the relationship will end badly. If you pace yourselves, you won't get bored and the sex will be amazing for as long as you want it to be. This helps relationships remain healthy (obviously not the only factor, just a part of it) and the sex continues to improve.
Morals of the story: try anal more than once, one night stands are overrated, the more you have sex with the same person the more it improves, and pace yourself when you start a new relationship.
"some how"? I'd say the fear is pretty rational. If done incorrectly, it can be incredibly painful and scarring for both parties involved.
My first time was a gift. The girl had been basically in love with me for years, I kinda just looked upon her as a nuisance. Then she offered to take care of my v-card for me. That's when she came over and spent the night at my parents' house.
You know how you remember the song that was playing during your first time? Yeah, we did it after watching the Usual Suspects, so I remember the theme song to the movie (but only about 30 seconds of it, because the TV was on the DVD menu and it just looped over and over). I lasted about 3 minutes and was pretty terrible.
I'll just say I've gotten tons better since and leave it at that.
My first time was a gift. The girl had been basically in love with me for years, I kinda just looked upon her as a nuisance. Then she offered to take care of my v-card for me. That's when she came over and spent the night at my parents' house.
You know how you remember the song that was playing during your first time? Yeah, we did it after watching the Usual Suspects, so I remember the theme song to the movie (but only about 30 seconds of it, because the TV was on the DVD menu and it just looped over and over). I lasted about 3 minutes and was pretty terrible.
I'll just say I've gotten tons better since and leave it at that.
anal is overrated
~70% of women don't like to give head
~95% of women suck at giving head
and tbh, it makes sense for it to be difficult to get off on oral; actual intercourse not only gives that y'know... feeling of actual connection, but its something you can actually "turn the dial" on. oral is almost always 100% dictated by the other person, which makes it less pleasurable almost by definition.
of course, if done right (this usually only happens when the other person knows exactly how you like it, which obviously takes time to learn), its fucking amazing
i've been with my girl for about 3 and a half years now, and we've been sexually active for about 3 years. it took a /really/ long time for oral to become more "as good" as actual intercourse; it'll probably never be "better", though, because even though the "connection" is there, its not something i can take control of to make better (idk if i'm actually getting my point across here??)
~70% of women don't like to give head
~95% of women suck at giving head
and tbh, it makes sense for it to be difficult to get off on oral; actual intercourse not only gives that y'know... feeling of actual connection, but its something you can actually "turn the dial" on. oral is almost always 100% dictated by the other person, which makes it less pleasurable almost by definition.
of course, if done right (this usually only happens when the other person knows exactly how you like it, which obviously takes time to learn), its fucking amazing
i've been with my girl for about 3 and a half years now, and we've been sexually active for about 3 years. it took a /really/ long time for oral to become more "as good" as actual intercourse; it'll probably never be "better", though, because even though the "connection" is there, its not something i can take control of to make better (idk if i'm actually getting my point across here??)
God, why haven't i shared a single thing yet? this is weirding the fuck out of me
its ok guys the night is young and the potential for me to get drunk and reveal things that would not only change my reputation here and the way many of you view me, but also probably make me want to hide from smogon (the internet in general?) for a good couple of weeks is still high.
be back later maybe but hopefully not ok bye clearly i may already be a little tipsy
its ok guys the night is young and the potential for me to get drunk and reveal things that would not only change my reputation here and the way many of you view me, but also probably make me want to hide from smogon (the internet in general?) for a good couple of weeks is still high.
be back later maybe but hopefully not ok bye clearly i may already be a little tipsy
I hope you know that now you have said that you have to share your story, right?