Recent events in my life have been driving me to become a better person. I have experienced great fear and anxiety over the last few years because of various things, but most recently because of the contents of this website about
Near-Death Experiences. That website, along with the book
The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot, and various videos on the 2012 phenomenon(What I feel to be one of the best videos and starting points on the subject. I have watched too many videos to count, Ive gotten to most of them from here and what I also
think is here so I think thats good enough for anyone who is interested in watching what ive watched.), have jarred me into making a positive change in my life based on making the least amount of negative impact possible and serving the people, but not making myself go crazy over it. Basically what im doing is fully adopting the vegan lifestyle that my mother is committing to, being a nice and respectful person, and planning to do volunteer work when we move to a town while doing my best to be of help around the house and on the internet. Even if I wasnt able to do all these things, id still try to do as many as possible.
I really do not care about whether or not the facts in those videos or the NDE is true or not, because I believe most of the stuff I am doing can be logically concluded to be greatly beneficial. (
Please note that I am not a close-minded religious bigot who just ignores everything that goes against what he thinks - quite the opposite. The only reason I am considering these things to be true is because I have an open mind. All criticisms are welcome, I do not flinch at any whatsoever. The things ive read and experienced over the last year have made me pretty much forgive and still love and hope for the best anyone who does something which I believe to be wrong)
I think that little background of information should be able to provide clarity for what I am about to do, and that is say
I am sorry.
I want to also stress that I do not mean to put myself on a higher pedestal than everyone else - I believe that everyone is equally capable and wonderful in their own way, no matter what you do. I believe because of what I have read that the world is going to end up a wonderful and beautiful place for reasons I cant pinpoint. This thread only serves to make amends for what I have done and perhaps get other people to be a lot less selfish than they already are and consequently put us on the fast track for a better world.
I am sorry for acting so immature on this forum and wreaking so much havoc. The malicious trolling and other things I did maliciously were counter productive to not only this forum and everyone on it but the world and myself. Every self-pittying facebook update or apathetic insult only serves to stifle what should be a smooth process into a better world. The little things people think they shouldnt care about add up to one huge thing that serves to slow progress down. Just take the whole internet for instance. All these little comments people make add up to one huge thing that makes a lot people jaded and uncaring and think that this wonderful technology, and the world we are in, to be full of trolls. I have made amends for what I have done in word form, and now to fully cement things I am going to continue to practice love and compassion wherever I go, however I see would help the most, whether it be the tough love you see on this forum a lot towards ignorance, or tender loving care you would treat a child or your old grandfather with. I don't even know if its the right way, but im 99.99% sure im in the ballpark and am going to stick with it until life or anything proves me otherwise.
I put this in thread form because I feel that getting my apology out in thread form would be a lot faster than just VMing people or something like that, and because I think it might help other people try to be as unselfish as I am trying to be.
I really thankful for everything that has every happened to me, including you guys, myself, and this forum. Honestly, if I hadnt have come here I would have never seen how cruel I could be to another human being, and I honestly thank all of you for allowing me to see it in your own little ways.
To be completely honest, I still feel a little scared and anxious about doing all of this because I used to wince vehemently at doing something this awkward, but im being very positive and going through with it because I feel it needs to be done.
Im not going away forever, but im going to come on smogon a lot less than I have been. Once or twice a day to contribute to the serious threads in my own way and be what I feel to be a good influence for other people on the internet, because I feel it needs them :)
)
