CAP 27 - Part 12 - Pokedex Submissions

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Quanyails

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Hello! The Isle of Armor DLC is set to be released on June 17, so we're expediting Pokedex submissions for CAP 27! Final submissions are allowed from the start of the thread.

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CAP 27 So Far

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Legal Pokedex submissions must meet the following standards
  • Pokedex Entries must have flawless grammar. Smogon has a Grammar & Prose team that will help identify mistakes.
  • Pokedex Entries cannot be longer than 32 words and cannot be over 156 characters.
  • Pokedex Entries can only contain the following characters:
    • Letters A-Z
    • Numbers 0-9
    • Dash (-)
    • Apostrophe (')
    • Double quote (")
    • Period (.)
    • Comma (,)
    • Colon (:)
    • Semi-colon (;)
    • Space

Work In Progress (WIP) Pokedex Entries can be posted at any time for comments from the community.

No more than three WIP Pokedex Entries can be posted by any individual person through the entire course of the submission thread. This limit applies to ALL posts made by a single person, even if previous posts are edited or deleted. This limit is intended to curb the tendency for some submitters to spam the thread repeatedly with multiple Pokedex Entries. This detracts from other submissions and makes it difficult for commenters to survey the submission thread.

Do not bump your WIP Pokedex Entries by posting them repeatedly, or making minor wording changes. Bumping will result in the disqualification of all Pokedex Entries by the offender. Editing or deleting bump posts will not prevent disqualification.

Only ONE Final Submission can be made per person.

Pokedex entries Final Submissions must posted exactly in the following format and in the following exact order:
  • The first line of the post must have the words "Final Submission" in bold on its own line. No other text may be included before the bold heading.
  • A blank line
  • "<Pokémon Name>, the <Species Name> Pokémon", with the Pokemon name and the Species Name in bold
  • A blank line
  • The Sword Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the letters "Sword" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
  • A blank line
  • The Shield Pokedex Entry submission. Start with the letters "Shield" in bold, then a colon (:), and then the Pokedex entry.
Below the Final Submission you can post other comments, explanations, etc.

Example final submission:

Final Submission

Dragapult
, the Stealth Pokémon

Sword: When it isn't battling, it keeps Dreepy in the holes on its horns. Once a fight starts, it launches the Dreepy like supersonic missiles.

Shield: Apparently the Dreepy inside Dragapult's horns eagerly look forward to being launched out at Mach speeds.
Any Final Submission that does not follow the proper format will be disqualified.
 
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Final Submission

Astrolotl
, The Firework Pokémon.

Sword: Their ribbons are said to be filled with mystical powers, but researchers have been unable to study them due to the immense heat they produce.

Shield: While they cannot fly, Astrolotl are known to use their ribbons to launch tiny sparks behind them, propelling themselves into the air in a dazzling manner.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl
, the Frivolous Pokémon

Sword: On nights when many people gather, Astrolotl soar through the sky and create beautiful, bright patterns with their fiery ribbons.

Shield: During battle, Astrolotl tries to keep its opponents at bay by swinging its ribbons and tail around in a rhythmic manner, resembling a mystical dance.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl
, the Radiant Pokémon

Sword: This Pokémon is rumored to have come from space. Its flames are released in powerful, firework-like bursts that radiate with solar energy.

Shield: Astrolotl is popular in nighttime shows and celebrations. Shooting into the sky, it releases balls of nitrogen that explode in eye-catching displays.
 
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Zephyr2007

b-b-batman
is an Artist
Final Submission

Astrolotl,
the Starflare Pokémon

Sword: Astrolotl are known to rocket into the sky when they feel great joy. More often than not, they pay no attention to their momentum and end up in outer space.

Shield: Researchers say that Astrolotl originally lived in the sea but evolved to dwell on land. The fact that its tail can regrow has inspired many folktales.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl,
the Constellation Pokémon

Sword: Normally shy, Astrolotl, rarely venture from their caves. Their stunning bio-luminescent displays are eerily accurate maps of the starry night sky.

Shield: In ancient times, it was said that Astrolotl created the constellations. It is still considered good luck to see one at the start of an adventure.
 
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Estronic

grateful grapefruit
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WIP

Astrolotl
, the Luminous Pokémon

Sword: Some believe that the Astrolotl used to create fireworks for celebrations today are the same ones that participated in light rituals in ancient times.

Shield: When Astrolotl dies, it explodes like a dying star, so it must die alone to protect its loved ones. It is the only time in its life when it feels despair.
 
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MrDollSteak

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Moderator
WIP

Astrolotl
, the Fireworks Pokémon

Sword: Fiercely loyal, it will defend its Trainer by whipping foes with flaming ribbons.

Shield: When Astrolotl fly across the night sky, they shed sparkling scales behind them which explode like fireworks.
 

-Voltage-

OTTN5
is a Pre-Contributor
Trying my hand at this!

WIP

Astrolotl
, the Fire Ribbon Pokémon

Sword: Galarian historical records note that Astrolotl were instrumental in celebrating victories due to their graceful movements and dazzling fireworks displays.

Shield: Despite many research attempts, no human knows the scientific process in which Astrolotl regenerate. Legends say that it is a well-kept secret by all Astrolotl.
 
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I’d figure that a offensive support mon should get a Sort of passive aggressive personality

WIP 2 (edited)
Astrolotl,
the Spectacle Pokémon

Sword: Astrolotl are a very social species. They love mounting spectacles at night for pokémon and humans alike, extending their antennae like lashes and moving them rapidly to create colourful sparks in the sky.

Shield: It is very dangerous to interrupt an Astrolotl when its mounting a spectacle, as it can throw a fit and crash into the ground like a meteor. Various villages around Galar have been destroyed this way.
 
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WIP
Astrolotl,
the Radiant Pokémon

Sword: It rhythmically waves the frills and feelers on its head to hypnotize its prey. Then, it slashes the prey with its scorching claws.

Shield: Astrolotl's regenerative abilities are among the most powerful of any Pokémon. It can survive losing up to half of its body mass in battle.
 
WIP

Astrolotl,
the Resplendent Pokémon

Sword: Galarian folklore says that Astrolotl can read the stars for the purposes of divination. Royalty of old were said to employ them as soothsayers.

Shield: It can produce colorful explosions that it enjoys playing with. It sometimes blows off limbs on accident, but they grow back within days.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl,
the Starburst Pokémon

Sword: It secretes a protective balm which can be ignited to produce fireworks. Ancient Galarians discovered that it also works as a salve for burns, oddly enough.

Shield: It captivates prey and enemies by putting on fireworks displays. Sometimes they accidentally lure Salandit from Salazzle harems, and fights break out.
 
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Quanyails

is a Top Artistis a Community Leaderis a Community Contributor Alumnus
CAP Co-Leader
WIP:

Astrolotl, the Firework Pokémon

Sword: When excited, this Pokémon spirals off into the sky, leaving a multicolored trail of sparks behind it.

Shield: The more starlight it absorbs, the brighter its own shows of light become. Watching the night sky for Astrolotl shows is a favored pastime among Galarians.

--

I needed work to squeeze the Shield entry down to 156 characters, and I'm not completely happy with it yet. Feedback is appreciated on these entries. :)
 
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WIP

Astrolotl
, the Sparkling Pokémon

Sword: When grabbed by the tail, Astrolotl will set off its tail in a sparkling explosion to escape. It takes only a few days for its tail to regrow.

Shield: It is said that the first group of Astrolotl lived on the moon. According to folklore, a shooting star is just an Astrolotl migrating to Earth.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl
, the Wonderful Pokémon

Sword: This Pokémon lives in the upper atmosphere. When it descends at night to hunt, the heat creates a brilliant light show in the sky.

Shield: In battle, Astrolotl use flaming whips that leave trails of sparks. It seems to treat even battle as a joyful dance.
 
WIP

Astrolotl
, the Firework Pokémon

Sword: Astrolotl are capable of regenerating even lost limbs. When excited, they are known to explode the air around them with little regard for their own safety.

Shield: Astrolotl are nocturnal, flying into the night sky to hunt. While their explosions are beautiful, be warned—the sparks left over are extremely dangerous!
 
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G-Luke

Sugar, Spice and One for All
is a Community Contributoris a CAP Contributoris a Forum Moderator Alumnus
WIP

Astrolotl
, the Pyrotechnics Pokémon

Sword: Astrolotl generates a stream of colorful explosions as it leaps through the night sky, making it popular among folks during the holidays.

Shield: The mucus membrane found on Astrolotl's skin has magical healing properties, and is a sought after commodity by healers and merchants alike.
 
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WIP

Astrolotl,
the Comet Pokémon

Sword: The streamers on Astrolotl's head glow brightly with the energy of its innate flame. The trails left by these streamers shine among the Galarian night sky.

Shield: Astrolotl has remarkable regenerative abilities, able to regrow an entire arm in a week. These abilities have been thought of as mystical by many.
 
WIP

Astrolotl,
the Luminescent Pokémon

Sword: These cheerful Pokémon always hunt in packs of five. On clear nights, they fly in perfect formation, trailing showers of colorful sparks like tiny stars.

Shield: Its luminous, whip-like tail and feelers are covered in glands that secrete a fluid hotter than lava. If lost in battle, they will grow back within a day.

(6/6 EDIT: Modified at the behest of Krazyguy75 and Scizivire to better suit the intended flavor.)
 
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Reiga

im dying squirtle
is a Top Artist
WIP

Astrolotl,
the Dazzle Flame Pokémon

Sword: It is tradition to make a wish whenever this Pokémon is seen flying by in the night sky. Festivals have been started in seasons where Astrolotl gather.

Shield: With a special sparkling powder, Astrolotl light up dazzling fireworks to smite evildoers. Small and defenseless Pokémon tend to idolize it as a result.
 
Final Submission

Astrolotl
, the Shooting Star Pokémon.

Sword: Astrolotl illuminate the night sky with their flight. Groups of Astrolotl migrating across Galar are frequently mistaken for meteor showers.

Shield: It is a Galar custom to make a wish when Astrolotl are seen flying at night. The Pokemon may curiously descend if the wish is kind.
 
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Final Submission

Astrolotl
, the Celebration Pokémon

Sword: This majestic Pokémon loves to celebrate more than anything. In the wild, it fires fireworks all over the sky when another Pokémon successfully evolves.

Shield: Although it glows in the bright moonlight, it is a rare sight for anyone to see. Great festivals have been held in the sight of even one of them.
 
I decided to give a bit of feedback to all the WIPs:

Madsi6: This needs a rework, as we now know we have 0 dance-related moves. And for that matter, we always knew Dragon Dance was off limits, so it would have been weird to give it dance themes. Also, poaching is a super dark subject to reference in what still remains a game designed for kids to play.

Scizivire: Similarly, the shield entry seems a bit weird for the same dissonance over dancing. Less dissonant than Madsi's, though.

King of Moths: Your entries feel a bit too similar. They both focus on the firework aspect in a very similar way. Also, keep in mind we lack explosion by level up. These could be themed as mystical fire though so it's just something to consider.

Zephyr2007: Same as Madsi; we now know we completely lack dance moves so this one realy doesn't work for the Species name and Sword entry.

CharSieEmboar: Saying "Astrolotl is shy" feels wrong. The art shows a confident looking happy go lucky mon; a classic extravert. I could see this working as a theme for a prevo, but it doesn't feel right for the personality shown in the art.

Estronic: "Astrolotl used to create fireworks" is a bit of a odd statement. Not "used in place of", but "used to create"? It makes it sound like you are murdering them and turning them into fireworks or something, especially since you don't elaborate on it at all. And the Shield Entry gets super dark at the end. I'd be fine with "bittersweet", like "It must part with its love ones and launch into the sky for one final explosion", but "IT DIES ALONG AND DESPAIRING AS IT EXPLODES" is a bit much. Also, we only get explosion via egg move, so unless we get aftermath that's a bit dissonant.

MrDollSteak: I have literally no complaints about this one. Solid work.

-Voltage-: I dislike the Shield entry. Regenerate has already started to feel a bit tacked on rather than built around. The current theme seems to be about how Axolotls can regrow lost limbs, but that's a relatively minor aspect turned into a game-carrying mechanic. And to point out "we don't know why it has regenerate either" just emphasizes the issue.

Gekokeso: Again, dancing isn't something we can do; that said I feel like it's not an issue here really due to it being mentioned in passing. For the shield entry, I love it, except I feel it got ruined by the lack of Explosion as a level up move. The species name is a bit much also; maybe just "the Spectacle Pokemon" would be better? IDK.

EthanLac: We lack hypnosis, so the Sword Entry pretty much needs to be scrapped. On top of that, I feel like neither of these entries capture the personality demonstrated in the art, which looks happy and friendly. It'd be like an entry for Groudon reading "Groudon likes to cuddle up to orphaned children and keep them warm in the winter".

aaronarium: An interesting option and I rather like it. I do feel like the phrase "It sometimes blows off limbs on accident" could be put in a way that makes it less of a drastic tone shift, though. Also, the Shield entry is hampered by the lack of explosion as a level up move.

Shadowshocker: An interesting and fun option, and I really like the species name, though it does bear the unfortunate candy association nowadays.

Quanyails: I feel like your entries feel a bit stale for such an energetic pokemon. I would like some more emphasis on the interactions it has with the world, rather than the interactions the world has with it. What makes Astrolotl excited? Why do they absorb starlight? Is it good or bad for these things? Those questions feel like ones I'd be more excited to learn the answer to.

Darek851: Good work; covers all the bases. Explains regenerator, the "astro-" prefix, the firework inspiration, etc. I like this one quite a bit, but it shares the common problem of using "explosion" themes on a pokemon without explosion by level up.

spookysocialist: I feel like the species name is a bit too bland. I'd suggest changing this to "wonderous" at the least for the different connotations. For the sword entry, I feel like it's a bit weird; we don't even learn fly. For the shield, it has the same problem with dancing not being a thing we do.

Squiidy822: I feel like the Shield entry is a bit weird; does any other pokedex entry directly address the reader like this? Also, yet another dex entry suffering from a lack of explosion by level-up.

G-Luke: We only get explosion via egg move and have no access to dance-themed moved. I'd have thought you'd know that, since you kinda made the winning moveset! Jokes aside, simply changing the wording on the Sword entry from explosion would fix the issue; it could easily be interpreted as Mystical Fire.

tiernothebeast: This just feels boring. We don't really know anything new about the pokemon after reading this. The streamers glow, it's related to space, and it can regenerate. The art, name, and ability gave us that info; it's the job of the dex entry to explain the "why?" and "so what?" or expand upon the flavor more.

Falchion: Again, we have no dance moves, so this feels a bit off.

Reiga: I feel like the Shield entry has a lot of potential, but something about the current wording just feels decidedly un-pokedex-like. I think it's the use of the word "evildoers", as pokemon are usually deemed neutral parties and the dex doesn't usually involve fights between humans and pokemon. I feel like something like "rowdy pokemon" or "hostile pokemon" or something would fit better.

The Metric System: I feel like these entries have a little too much overlap. They both are about Astrolotl doing the same thing.



Here's what I feel like a dex entry should reference:

- Regenerator: We need a line backing up this ability. Sure, axolotls can regenerate, but not to the degree implied by this ability. We need to rationalize it a bit more to let it feel less out of place as the literal build around focus of this entire pokemon.

- Fireworks: This is the most interesting aspect of our design IMO, and opens a lot of options for flavor; this is the place you can explore the most.

- Space: We need to justify the "Astro-" in our name; right now it's barely a tirtiary element in our art, and it's not really represented in the moveset to a significant degree.

- Happy Personality: This pokemon has personality as a major factor of its art. Some reference should be made to the jubilant attitude.



Here's what I feel like a dex entry shouldn't reference:

- Self-destructive explosions: We lack access to explosion by level up. I wasn't a huge fan of this decision, but since it's final we need to be cautious to not sabotage that decision. As such, explosions should be kept smaller in scale and less focused on self-destruction.

- Dancing: We lack dance moves, and we don't really even have any dance inspiration. Sure, we're a nimble, happy pokemon, but without the moveset or direct inspiration, it doesn't quite work to make dancing a significant theme.

- Adult themes: Not that kind; get your mind out of the gutter. I mean things like depression, violence, hostility, etc. We are a super happy looking pokemon. We are inspired by magical girls, who are supposed to be symbols of innocence and friendship. We are inspired by fireworks, which are a symbol of celebration. And most importantly of all, this is a pokedex entry, and pokemon is designed around being friendly to kid. Negative things happening to Astrolotl or being caused by Astrolotl just feel out of place.

- Extended periods of flight: We don't have Fly. 'nuff said.
 
Here's what I feel like a dex entry shouldn't reference:

- Self-destructive explosions: We lack access to explosion by level up. I wasn't a huge fan of this decision, but since it's final we need to be cautious to not sabotage that decision. As such, explosions should be kept smaller in scale and less focused on self-destruction.

- Dancing: We lack dance moves, and we don't really even have any dance inspiration. Sure, we're a nimble, happy pokemon, but without the moveset or direct inspiration, it doesn't quite work to make dancing a significant theme.

- Extended periods of flight: We don't have Fly. 'nuff said.
I strongly disagree with these points you've made. For one, this Pokémon has a strong fireworks theme, and the whole deal with fireworks is that they explode, so I don't know why Astrolotl couldn't do that in its dex entry (it can still explode, after all). Not learning moves by levelup doesn't automatically mean that a Pokémon can't have certain themes mentioned in their dex entries. Tying into that, I don't think that a lack of dance moves should mean it can't dance - there are a few Pokémon that don't learn dance moves (Rain Dance is kinda wide-spread so not counting that) despite having a dancing theme in their entries and even in design:
- Kirlia, who is basically a ballerina
- Medicham and Hitmontop include dance in their fighting styles
- Clefairy dance around meteorites and in the air (they can also fly appearantly!)
- Jynx is a hula dancer

With that said, there are also a lot of Pokémon capable of flight that don't learn Fly (most of the pixie mythicals, Dragonair, Elgyem/Beheeyem, most flying bugs etc.). I think for dex entries we can a bit more liberal with flavor rather than confining it to what moves a mon learns, let alone by levelup. Dex entries are really the place for people to share what a Pokémon conveys to them! If you don't necessarily agree with someone's views, you can just not vote for their entries.
 
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