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Emergency Situations

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You realize, no medicine hasn't advanced much, you go check, and yay no STDs.

You decide to work at TB to avoid STDs. Your boss is an ass. Quite literally.
 
Make posts that contain just whiny, unfunny complaints about the quality of the thread

You find a strand of hair in your food and start pulling on it. You find that its far longer than you think it is, and that you still havent found the end of it
 
remember you ordered the rapunzel special at frankie and bennys

you wake up in the middle of trafalgar square naked with an ace of spades tattooed on your buttcheek
 
Iggdrasil said:
Pretend to be Micheal Jackson.

You have an errection every time this certain bikini add plays on TV. One particular day, the entire family comes together for a family reunion. Your Grandma goes in to give you a really tight hug (she hasn't seen you in a long time), when suddenly the bikini add plays on TV... and you can see it in plain sight.
 
RAPE.

You were enjoying a triple chocolate sundae when suddenly a bunch of gangsters turn up and demand it at gunpoint.
 
You realized that was NOT a triple chocolate sundae.

You're extremely shocked, even after they finish with you.
 
remember the lessons pulp fiction taught you and calm those motherfuckers down

you need to poop real bad, there's no toilet and you're in the jury of a court for some reason
 
Marry a hooker instead.

You cannot buy the 3DS under any circumstances, or use it, or contract eye cancer and lose the ability to watch porn.
 
VM him and tell him to post.

You're doing your girlfriend and her mom, and her dad walks in with a gun in hand.
 
Nab the gun in his moment of shock and threaten him.

You are swimming in a specific lake when a weird, swimming dinosaur attacks you.
 
Weird dinosaur is weird, he has noes teeths D:

Bart Simpson said:
You come into my room to check if I'm doing my homework, and you catch me reading the latest PlayDude.

What do you do, what DO you do?
PS. You are not Serry Bobbins.
 
You have an errection every time this certain bikini add plays on TV. One particular day, the entire family comes together for a family reunion. Your Grandma goes in to give you a really tight hug (she hasn't seen you in a long time), when suddenly the bikini add plays on TV... and you can see it in plain sight.
You find yourself living the time of your life where you were relieved to be wearing skinnyjeans.


Your erection was very strong, ripping your pants.
 
I lay on my back and hoist a flag on that mother

Its that scene from the Lynard Skynard Song "Gimme three Steps" and you just hit on Linda Lu, and in came a man with a gun in his hand looking for you.
 
So what?


A Steelix just caught you in a Pokeball and wants to train you. It starts by teaching you Attract. The 30 foot long metal snake is doing a demonstration.
 
Kill it.

You're on smogon's server, and you find you're able to use auth commands, but you're a regular user.
 
Ban anybody that mentions Articuno seriously.

Windows is forcing you to restart in the final of a Smogon-authorised PO tourney. How do you redeem yourself?
 
Buy a Macbook.

You realize that Macs do indeed get computer viruses (even though you are more likely to sleep with Megan Fox than get one), and just so happens that you are infected during the finals of another Smogon-authorized PO tourney, freezing your computer. What do you do now?
 
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