Grammar Prose Workshop v2 (updated 12/4/17!)

Twix

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Use Choice Scarf Chandelure to be a should be used as a revenge killer, and which can still hit score important hits on defensive walls effectively due to its high Special Attack stat. Chandelure can also be used as an anti-lead, (AC) but likes to although it's usually better as be a late-game cleaner, (RC) or mid-game revenge killer, (RC) but do whatever works best. Chandelure can effectively spinblock prevent Forretress from using Rapid Spin due to its Ghost-typing, but it doesn't like to stay in on fears a Scald or EarthquakeQ, (RC) mostly from the likes of Tentacruel and Donphan, (RC) so it fears them especially respectively.


Choice Scarf Chandelure should be used as a revenge killer, which can still hit defensive walls effectively due to its high Special Attack stat. Chandelure can also be used as an anti-lead, although it's usually better as be a late-game cleaner or mid-game revenge killer. Chandelure can effectively prevent Forretress from using Rapid Spin due to its Ghost-typing, but fears a Scald or Earthquake from the likes of Tentacruel and Donphan respectively.


With the introduction of its Mega Evolution, Loppunny gains an excellent Speed tier, a very respectable 136 base Attack stat, and a useful Ability in Scrappy, (AC) which offers. (RP) Scrappy means perfect coverage with just Return and High Jump Kick (bar the uncommon Shedninja). Despite this, she Lopunny struggles to break past many bulky Pokéemon and Fighting resists, such as Slowbro and Clefable, (AC) which also resist its Fighting-type attacks. Therefore, a strong wallbreaker that can deal with aformentioned defensive Pokémon such as Gengar is therefore an effective good partner for Loppunny.


With the introduction of its Mega evolution, Lopunny gains an excellent Speed tier, a very respectable Attack stat, and a useful Ability in Scrappy, which offers perfect coverage with Return and High Jump Kick. Despite this, Lopunny struggles to break past many bulky Pokemon, such as Slowbro and Clefable, which also resist its Fighting-type attacks. Therefore, a strong wallbreaker that can deal with aformentioned defensive Pokémon such as Gengar is an effective partner for Lopunny.


There are a few options for the last moveslot. Flamethrower heavily damages Steel-types (AH) such as Scizor and Excadrill, while Ice Beam lures in and OHKOes specially defensive Glicscor (OHKOes every sets regardless). Psyschock deals more damage to Chansey, as it hits factors in its low Defense rather than its Special Defense, (AC) while on the other side of the spectrum. (RP) Finally, (RC) Thunder Wave is a great utility move that cripples many of Clefable's checks, including Talonflame, Scizor, and Megtagross.


There are a few options for the last moveslot. Flamethrower heavily damages Steel-types such as Scizor and Excadrill, while Ice Beam lures in and OHKOes Gliscor. Psyshock deals more damage to Chansey, as it factors in its low Defense rather than its Special Defense, while Thunder Wave is a great utility move that cripples many of Clefable's checks, including Talonflame, Scizor, and Metagross.
 
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Empress

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Hiya Twix.

Very good work with cleaning up the prose on Exercise #4! I'm not sure if I could have made the sentences sound better myself. A few nitpicks:
  1. There should be no comma after "revenge killer" and "which" should be "that". What you have now would be fine if revenge killers inherently had high Special Attack, but that's not the case.
  2. You forgot to take out "be" in the second sentence. No worries though; little things like that may get overlooked.
  3. "Ghost typing" should not be hyphenated. Remember: Ghost-type and Ghost typing.
  4. "fears a Scald or Earthquake" should be "it fears Scald and Earthquake". It fears both of those moves at once; it doesn't fear one while ignoring the other. The "it" is added just as clarification.
Exercise #2 seems pretty good too.
  1. "With the introduction of its Mega Evolution" should be "When it Mega Evolves." It's more objectively correct, and you should not use references to generational changes in your overviews (or anywhere).
  2. "Offers" should be "gives it." Kinda subjective, but I think it improves clarity.
  3. "Such as Gengar" should be moved after "strong wallbreaker" to clarify what you mean. Gengar is certainly not a defensive Pokemon, after all. Also, never, ever use "aforementioned."
Exercise #1 was just about perfect. I'm so glad you knew not to use "spectrum!" Juuuuust one thing: "lures in and OHKOes" should be "allows Clefable to lure in and OHKO," as it's Clefable that's doing the luring, not Ice Beam.
 

Twix

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A Modest nature and 252 Special Attack EVs maximize Heatran's damage output, (AC) while. (RP) 200 Speed EVs allow Heatran to outspeeds neutral nature 70's such as Bisharp and Breloom (doesn't Breloom just use Mach Punch as STAB?), who'd otherwise OHKO Heatran it. If outspeeding these Pokemon are is not a huge issue, you can run a spread of 76 Spe (AS)/ (AS)180 HP (AS)/ (AS)252 SpAtk. Leftovers is preferred due to the usefulness of passive recovery, though Air Balloon can also be considered, (RC) as it lets Heatran avoid Spikes, Sticky Web, and switch into Ground-type attacks, (AC) before being hit with an attack (I felt the addition at the end was necessary).
 
hi, i'll just do one quick one for now
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Manaphy has access to a useful move in Tail Glow,(AC) which boosts it's sp. Atkits Special Attack by three stages,(AC) making it a potent sweeper. 80 bp Scald, Hidden Power Fire, and Shadow Ball assure that Manaphy can effectively handle what would otherwise wall it such as bulky Water-types(add hyphen) and Ferrothorn, which would otherwise wall Manaphy. but It can also run Rest on a rain team sincebecause Hydration alongside Rest will keep it healthy enough to sweep.
 

P Squared

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Twix
Very good edits here! Couple notes for the things you missed:

- I'm not sure I can think of an example where pluralizing something by adding 's works. "70's" is no exception. By convention we tend to use "neutral-natured base 70 Speed Pokemon", though personally I'm okay with "neutral-natured base 70s".
- which/that > who; Pokemon are not people
- changing SpAtk to SpA is great, but note that the order is HP / Atk / Def / SpA / SpD / Spe, so that spread should be reordered
- when "as" means "because", it must have a comma before it
- I wrote a bit on the parallelism issue in the last sentence in a previous post, which I've copied under the cut ^_^
That phrase includes a list. You could read it either as a list of "what Air Balloon lets Heatran do" (1) or as a list of "what Air Balloon lets Heatran avoid" (2); I'll explain it both ways. Lists should be able to be broken down. For example, the sentence "I bought an orange, an apple, and a banana" includes a list of what I bought, and you can split it into "I bought an orange. I bought an apple. I bought a banana." Let's apply this to Air Balloon now.

(1) "It lets Heatran avoid Spikes, Sticky Web, and switch into Ground-type attacks."
Broken down: It lets Heatran avoid Spikes. It lets Heatran Sticky Web. (hmm...) It lets Heatran switch into Ground-type attacks.
(2) "It lets Heatran avoid Spikes, Sticky Web, and switch into Ground-type attacks."
Broken down: It lets Heatran avoid Spikes. It lets Heatran avoid Sticky Web. It lets Heatran avoid switch into Ground-type attacks. (hmm...)

Both interpretations lead to an error! The three items cannot be put into the same category. They aren't parallel.
There are a few ways you could fix this.

"It lets Heatran avoid Spikes, Sticky Web, and Ground-type attacks." (list of what Air Balloon lets Heatran avoid)
"It lets Heatran avoid Spikes and Sticky Web and switch into Ground-type attacks." (list of what Air Balloon lets Heatran do)
"It lets Heatran avoid Spikes and Sticky Web and allows it to switch into Ground-type attacks." (list of what Air Balloon does)

I'd probably go for the first or second one.

The Bravest Bird
This looks excellent. If I had to think of something I'd do different, it'd be "which would otherwise wall it" instead of "which would otherwise wall Manaphy", but there was nothing wrong with yours. Looking forward to see you do more :)
 
The Bravest Bird
This looks excellent. If I had to think of something I'd do different, it'd be "which would otherwise wall it" instead of "which would otherwise wall Manaphy", but there was nothing wrong with yours. Looking forward to see you do more :)
thanks! managed to get access to an actual computer so i'll do a couple more.

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There are a few options for the last moveslot. Flamethrower heavily damages Steel-types(add hyphen) such as Scizor and Excadrill, while Ice Beam allows Clefable to lures in and OHKOes specially defensive GlicsorGliscor. Psyschock deals more damage to Chansey, as it hits on the other side of the spectrumhitting its weaker Defense. Finally, Thunder Wave is a great utility move that cripples many of Clefable's checks, including Talonflame, Scizor, and Mega Metagross.(this kind of felt iffy, feedback is appreciated)

With the introduction of its Mega Evolution, LoppunnyWhen Lopunny Mega Evolves, she gains an excellent Speed tier, a very respectable 136 base 136 Attack stat, and a useful ability in Scrappy. Scrappy meansgives Mega Lopunny perfect coverage with just Return and High Jump Kick (bar the uncommon Shedninja)(irrelevant). Despite this, she struggles to break past many bulky Pokemon(replace accent e) and Fighting resiststhat resist Fighting-type attacks, such as Slowbro and Clefable. A strong wallbreaker, such as Gengar, that can deal with defensive Pokemon such as Gengar is thereforemakes a good partner for Mega Loppunny.
 
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Twix

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thanks! managed to get access to an actual computer so i'll do a couple more.

[/hide]
With the introduction of its Mega Evolution, LoppunnyWhen Lopunny Mega Evolves, she gains an excellent Speed tier, a very respectable 136 base 136 Attack stat, and a useful ability in Scrappy. Scrappy meansgives Mega Lopunny perfect coverage with just Return and High Jump Kick (bar the uncommon Shedninja)(irrelevant). Despite this, she struggles to break past many bulky Pokemon(replace accent e) and Fighting resiststhat resist Fighting-type attacks, such as Slowbro and Clefable. A strong wallbreaker, such as Gengar, that can deal with defensive Pokemon such as Gengar is thereforemakes a good partner for Mega Loppunny.
I'm pretty sure you should've refer to Lopunny as "her" as it can either be male or female. I'm pretty sure the correct term is "it", but don't quote me on that.
 

Kris

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I'm pretty sure you should've refer to Lopunny as "her" as it can either be male or female. I'm pretty sure the correct term is "it", but don't quote me on that.
you can refer to any pokemon as him, her, or it, but if you have to be consistent on how you refer to said pokemon
 
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(RP) = remove period
(RC) = remove comma

(AC) = add comma
(AP) = add period

With the introduction of its her Mega Evolution, Loppunny Lopunny gains the Fighting-type, (AC) an excellent speed Speed tier, a very respectable base 136 base Attack stat, and a useful Ability.(RP) Scrappy,(AC) which grants Lopunny means perfect coverage with just Return and Hi High Jump Kick, (AC) (bar the uncommon Shedninja). Despite this, she struggles to break past many bulky Pokémon and Fighting resists (not all fighting resists automatically wall lopunny such as talonflame due to mega lopunny's secondary normal typing and return still has respectable power but HJK is definitely its most powerful STAB so I could see it staying), such as Slowbro and Clefable. A strong Wallbreaker wallbreaker, (AC) such as Gengar, (AC) that can deal with Defensive Pokémon defensive Pokemon, such as Gengar is therefore makes for a good partner for Loppuny Mega Lopunny.
 
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P Squared

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Hey Icing On Da Cake, not bad. Your edits in the last sentence are especially great :D
A couple objective things you missed:

- when referring to the type itself, you'd use "the Fighting type". But for things like "Fire-type moves" or "Ghost-types", those do use a hyphen.
- Shedinja > Shedninja
- Pokemon doesn't use the accented e in C&C
- "Fighting resists" should have been removed, but the reason I had in mind was that it's not an allowed term haha. If you're talking about [something that resists Fighting], use "Pokemon that resist Fighting" or "Fighting-resistant Pokemon".

I also think that the beginning of the first sentence could be worded a bit better -- personally I like "Upon Mega Evolving" or something like that!
 
Hey Icing On Da Cake, not bad. Your edits in the last sentence are especially great :D
A couple objective things you missed:

- when referring to the type itself, you'd use "the Fighting type". But for things like "Fire-type moves" or "Ghost-types", those do use a hyphen.
- Shedinja > Shedninja
- Pokemon doesn't use the accented e in C&C
- "Fighting resists" should have been removed, but the reason I had in mind was that it's not an allowed term haha. If you're talking about [something that resists Fighting], use "Pokemon that resist Fighting" or "Fighting-resistant Pokemon".

I also think that the beginning of the first sentence could be worded a bit better -- personally I like "Upon Mega Evolving" or something like that!
ty ill keep practicing
 
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(RP) = remove period
(RC) = remove comma

(AC) = add comma
(AP) = add period


Earthquake scores an easy OHKO against easily OHKOes Magnezone even though it appears to be levitating. (RP) due to its 4x weakness to Ground-type attacks. (AP) Steel and electric are both weak against ground The Steel-type and Electric-type are both weak to Ground-type attacks, (AC) which amplifies the weaknesss Magnezone's susceptibility to Earthquake. (AP) In response to this, (AC) and so the opponet might opponent may switch in a flying type Flying-type Pokemon to nullify the Move avoid damage from Earthquake.
 
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(AC) - Add Comma
(AP) - Add Period

Onix has the highest base Defense stat of every any LC Pokemon in little cup just imagine it which can be boosted using Eviolite (this line seemed unnecessary but i kept it just in case).(AP) But well it actually runs Berry Juice is more preferable, (AC) because it can be used it in conjunction to Sturdy to get set (get up Stealth Rock seemed fine but set up seemed certainly more appropriate) up Stealth Rock.(AP) and Taunt is another nice option for its moveslot too and with its base 17 Speed. But it's Rock / Ground typing has huge disadvantage is bad for four itself tho because of 4x Water- and Grass-type weakness.


Flying-types are resistant to Fighting- and, (AC) Grass-, (AC) and Bug-type moves and but (although and was fine-ish, I thought but was much suitable) weak to Ice-, (AC) and Rock-, (AC) and Electric-type moves. Using Roost makes Flying-types take neutral nuetral damage from Ground-type moves till the end of the turn. Flying-types that have a secondary secondery type weak to Ground-type moves like Zapdos have to be careful or they can (seemed much better) theyll get OHKO'd OHKOed by a Ground-type move like Earthquake in the same turn they use Roost.
 
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P Squared

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Hey Cynthia612 ! A minor thing but checks are easier to read when only the changes are in bold. Moving on to the actual edits... here are some sentences post-edit:

But Berry Juice is more preferable, because it can be used in conjunction to Sturdy to set up Stealth Rock.
Starting sentences with "but", "and", etc. isn't ideal in formal writing, which analyses try to be for the most part, so I'd change that first word to "However". A more minor thing is that "more preferable" is kinda redundant, so maybe just "preferable" / "preferred" would be better there.

But it's Rock / Ground typing has huge disadvantage for itself because of 4x Water- and Grass-type weakness.
"Its" is the possessive, whereas "it's" is short for "it is", so that second word needs to be changed. Aside from that, this is awkwardly worded in general. I don't have a real reason why, but it almost reads like a Google translated sentence? Something like "However, its Rock / Ground typing is a huge disadvantage because of its 4x Water- and Grass-type weaknesses" reads bit more naturally.

You've done a decent job of making these paragraphs more readable, though, and you've got the capitalization and a lot of Smogon-specific stuff ("Water- and Grass-type"!) down, which is a great start! I believe The Dutch Plumberjack has some more comments, so I'll leave those to him :)
 
Thanks fir
Hey Cynthia612 ! A minor thing but checks are easier to read when only the changes are in bold. Moving on to the actual edits... here are some sentences post-edit:


Starting sentences with "but", "and", etc. isn't ideal in formal writing, which analyses try to be for the most part, so I'd change that first word to "However". A more minor thing is that "more preferable" is kinda redundant, so maybe just "preferable" / "preferred" would be better there.


"Its" is the possessive, whereas "it's" is short for "it is", so that second word needs to be changed. Aside from that, this is awkwardly worded in general. I don't have a real reason why, but it almost reads like a Google translated sentence? Something like "However, its Rock / Ground typing is a huge disadvantage because of its 4x Water- and Grass-type weaknesses" reads bit more naturally.

You've done a decent job of making these paragraphs more readable, though, and you've got the capitalization and a lot of Smogon-specific stuff ("Water- and Grass-type"!) down, which is a great start! I believe The Dutch Plumberjack has some more comments, so I'll leave those to him :)
Thanks for the critique. I will keep those points in mind.
 

The Dutch Plumberjack

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Cynthia612

exercise 5:
  • first couple edits appear good, although "any Pokemon in Little Cup" would have been fine too;
  • good call on the Eviolite mention being unnecessary. Should've been removed because it's just an offhand mention and completely irrelevant to the paragraph, and if it adds nothing it's got no business being there;
  • removing that obviously makes "well it actually runs Berry Juice" p. awkward, so you're gonna have to rephrase that bit entirely, e.g. to something like "It can make effective use of Berry Juice thanks to its ability Sturdy, which also lets it get up Stealth Rock effectively". Your fixes work decently with the Eviolite mention kept in place, but a couple pointers for next time:
    • p squared covered this, but starting sentences with "but", "and", and the like is p. ugly in formal writing, which analyses try to be for the most part, so "however," would've been a better choice here;
    • "in conjunction with", not "in conjunction to";
    • "get up Stealth Rock" is fine indeed, and if it's fine, just leave it; we don't like it when people make pointless one-word changes around here, because all they accomplish is making the writing sound more like your own than the writer's, which we want to avoid;
  • couple things to watch out for in the next bit: you've rewritten it to make it sounds like Taunt is a good option because of its 17 Speed, which at the very least isn't what the original is saying. The other changes you made appear grammatically correct, but couple things to watch out for, it's not wrong to link two sentences with "and" (and often it's even helpful because it prevents the text from looking like bullet points with the bullets removed, although you shouldn't link more than two sentences this way), "moveset" > "moveslot" imo if you're going that way, and it's not a base 17 Speed but an absolute stat;
  • p squared covered the final sentence.

exercise 10:
  • good fixes re. capitalisation and misspellings;
  • the two changes you left a note on (and -> but and they'll -> they can) are possible I guess, but there's nothing really wrong with the OP's version (the "and" is simply used to sum up different traits of Flying-types, and "they will" is fine too; the scenario the writer is picturing is when the Flying-type Pokemon is up against a Ground-type, in which case "will" isn't too strong or anything), so once again, be careful about making unnecessary changes;
  • "secondary typing" in that context, not "secondary type" (good catch on the misspelling though);
  • also good misc. catches in OHKO'd -> OHKOed and Roost (verb) -> use Roost.

Sorry for taking so long v.v
 
Cynthia612

exercise 5:
  • first couple edits appear good, although "any Pokemon in Little Cup" would have been fine too;
  • good call on the Eviolite mention being unnecessary. Should've been removed because it's just an offhand mention and completely irrelevant to the paragraph, and if it adds nothing it's got no business being there;
  • removing that obviously makes "well it actually runs Berry Juice" p. awkward, so you're gonna have to rephrase that bit entirely, e.g. to something like "It can make effective use of Berry Juice thanks to its ability Sturdy, which also lets it get up Stealth Rock effectively". Your fixes work decently with the Eviolite mention kept in place, but a couple pointers for next time:
    • p squared covered this, but starting sentences with "but", "and", and the like is p. ugly in formal writing, which analyses try to be for the most part, so "however," would've been a better choice here;
    • "in conjunction with", not "in conjunction to";
    • "get up Stealth Rock" is fine indeed, and if it's fine, just leave it; we don't like it when people make pointless one-word changes around here, because all they accomplish is making the writing sound more like your own than the writer's, which we want to avoid;
  • couple things to watch out for in the next bit: you've rewritten it to make it sounds like Taunt is a good option because of its 17 Speed, which at the very least isn't what the original is saying. The other changes you made appear grammatically correct, but couple things to watch out for, it's not wrong to link two sentences with "and" (and often it's even helpful because it prevents the text from looking like bullet points with the bullets removed, although you shouldn't link more than two sentences this way), "moveset" > "moveslot" imo if you're going that way, and it's not a base 17 Speed but an absolute stat;
  • p squared covered the final sentence.

exercise 10:
  • good fixes re. capitalisation and misspellings;
  • the two changes you left a note on (and -> but and they'll -> they can) are possible I guess, but there's nothing really wrong with the OP's version (the "and" is simply used to sum up different traits of Flying-types, and "they will" is fine too; the scenario the writer is picturing is when the Flying-type Pokemon is up against a Ground-type, in which case "will" isn't too strong or anything), so once again, be careful about making unnecessary changes;
  • "secondary typing" in that context, not "secondary type" (good catch on the misspelling though);
  • also good misc. catches in OHKO'd -> OHKOed and Roost (verb) -> use Roost.

Sorry for taking so long v.v
OK next time I do other excercise I will keep those things in mind. Thanks for your critique.
 

GoodMorningEspeon

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Alright, let's give this a shot:

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*OTHER COMMENTS


manaphy Manaphy has acess access to a useful move in Tail Glow which boosts it's sp. Atk Special Attack by three stages, making it a potent sweeper. 80 bp* Scald, HP Fire Hidden Power Fire, and Shadow Ball assure that manaphy Manaphy can effectivly effectively handle what would otherwise wall it, such as bulky water types Water-types and ferrothorn Ferrothorn. but However, it can also run rest Rest on a rain team since hydration Hydration will keep it health healthy enough to sweep.

*This phrase was unnecessary.

Earthquake scores an easy easily OHKOes against Magnezone even though it appears to be levitating.;* its Steel / electric Electric typing are both makes it 4x weak** against ground Ground-type moves, which amplifies the weaknesss the move's effectiveness. and so the opponet Because of this, the opponent might switch into a flying Flying-type Pokemon to nullify avoid the Move move.

*The first phrase was pretty short, so I combined it with the second with a semicolon (because semicolons are cool).
**Not entirely sure what to do with this. "4x weak" sounds a little odd, but I don't think anything is wrong with it or whether or not there's anything better to replace it with.

Yanmega was banned from RU for getting since it can easy easily 2HKOes against almost everything in the metagame and its speed boost Speed Boost ability made it almost impossible to outSpeed outspeed. Zoroark was also banned in that suspect round for being able to since it could fool its opponents with illusion Illusion and hit with a strong knock off Knock Off or Dark Pulse.

I kind of rushed through the third one, but hopefully I didn't miss anything too big.
I'll try to get around to the rest of them within the next few days since I'm sort of enjoying this :)
 
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P Squared

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GoodMorningEspeon
Seems like you have your PokeGrammar down, which is great! Remember that "which" generally indicates a nonrestrictive clause, meaning it should be preceded by a comma (more information about that here).

Sobi
Pretty good edits here, though I think red coloring makes more sense for removals :P Remember to format the things you want to remove; there are a few words I think you meant to remove but forgot to format. Also, typings are written "Grass-type", with a lowercase "type".

I've updated the OP and added some more exercises that I think more accurately reflect what you'll be seeing in C&C. Try them out! :)
 

GoodMorningEspeon

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New exercises :o

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*OTHER COMMENTS


Dugtrio is a great revenge-killer revenge killer that is also able to clean up late-game due to it's high Speed. Make sure to scout for opposing Scarfers Choice Scarf users, because they can outspeed and KO Dugtrio instead. Because it is so frail, Dugtrio is unable to switch-in switch in on many attacks, so you should only bring in it in after a team mate teammate has fainted or with a slow Volt Switch / U-Turn U-turn / Baton Pass user such as mega Mega Ampharos and or Vaporeon.

Electrode can also run Damp Rock, which extends the duration of Rain rain to eight. Magic Guard Coat* reflects entry hazards and Taunt back to the foe, but Electrode doesn’t want you shouldn't to give up 1 one of its other moves moveslots for it**. A Special Attacking special attacking set with LO Life Orb, HP Hidden Power Ice, and Foul Play can be considered,; however, Electrode’s low offenses offensive stats and shallow movepool mean make it is underwelming underwhelming. Similarly, Choice Specs isn't a great option either, as it is almost completely outclassed by other offensive Electric-types.

*Magic Guard is the ability and Magic Coat is the move.
**In this case, "it" is referring to Magic Coat. It seems a little confusing having "it" refer to Electrode and the move in the same sentence, but I don't think it would be incorrect.

Thanks to its great bulk and useful Grass / Steel-typing Steel typing, Ferrothorn is one of the best entry hazard setters in ubers Ubers. It fairs fares very well against defoggers Defoggers such as Lati@s Latios and Latias, especially if it runs Toxic. Also, Toxic is also useful for support Support Arceus forms* and Giratina-Origin. Also, with the combination of Iron Barbs, Spikes, Leech Seed, and Toxic, Ferrothorn can easily wear down opponents enemies for a teammate to clean up later. It does have some flaws, however. Unfortunately, Ferrothorn is rendered useless by Taunt, is very slow, and has a nasty x4 4x weakness to Fire-type moves.

*I'm not too familiar with the Ubers metagame so I wasn't too sure if "Support Arceus" was a common set name. I capitalized it anyway but correct me if it's something that should have been altered further.

I think I'm getting better at these :) will definitely get around to the other three sometime soon
 
i'm tired of writing like shit, enlighten me gods above

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There are a few options for the last moveslot. Flamethrower heavily damages Steel types, (AC) such as Scizor and Excadrill, while Ice Beam lures in and OHKOes Specially Defensive Glicsor Gliscor (The S comes before the C). Psyschock Psyshock (The H comes before the C) deals more damage to Chansey, as it hits on the other side of the spectrum and deals solid damage on Poison-types such as Mega Venusaur and Amoonguss (a bit more useful information). Finally, Thunder Wave is a great utility move that cripples many of Clefable's checks, including ranging from (This is a bit more of personal preference) Talonflame, Mega (Base Scizor isn't as relevant as its Mega, more subjective change) Scizor and Megagross Mega Metagross.


It's best to setup DD with Dragon Dance towards the end of the game, when Mega Charizard-X's checks and counters are out of play eliminated or have been weakened enough to be picked off after a boost. Mega Charizard-X should set up on a Pokemon that it forces out, such as Mega Scizor and Celebi, or against Electric-types such as Manectric-Mega Mega Manectric and Raikou. Rotom-Wash is an easy target to setup on if it is running HP investment (almost all Rotom-W run HP investment), as it can't 2HKO Mega Charizard-X with Hydro Pump (make sure you capitalize move names), (RC) and is stalled out with Roost. Make sure you to avoid Thunder Wave from Pokemon like such as, Cresselia, Thundurus, (AC) (which also has Prankster) and Mega-Slowbro as paralysis cuts halves Mega Charizard-X's Speed in half (flows better), making it more suscepectible to a higher amount of revengers revenge killers.
 
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i'm tired of writing like shit, enlighten me gods above

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There are a few options for the last moveslot. Flamethrower heavily damages Steel types, (AC) such as Scizor and Excadrill, while Ice Beam lures in and OHKOes Specially Defensive Glicsor Gliscor (The S comes before the C). Psyschock Psyshock (The H comes before the C) deals more damage to Chansey, as it hits on the other side of the spectrum and deals solid damage on Poison-types such as Mega Venusaur and Amoonguss (a bit more useful information). Finally, Thunder Wave is a great utility move that cripples many of Clefable's checks, including ranging from (This is a bit more of personal preference) Talonflame, Mega (Base Scizor isn't as relevant as its Mega, more subjective change) Scizor and Megagross Mega Metagross.
  • Steel-types
  • i'm not entirely sure whether "lures" or "lures in" is correct, although i see both quite frequently so i'd assume they're both fine P Squared (or anyone with more pokemon knowledge than me)
  • "specially defensive" is not capitalized
  • i like your change to the chansey sentence, although i prefer "deals solid damage to Poison-types" rather than "on Poison-types"
  • including is fine i think

It's best to setup DD with Dragon Dance towards the end of the game, when Mega Charizard-X's checks and counters are out of play eliminated or have been weakened enough to be picked off after a boost. Mega Charizard-X should set up on a Pokemon that it forces out, such as Mega Scizor and Celebi, or against Electric-types such as Manectric-Mega Mega Manectric and Raikou. Rotom-Wash is an easy target to setup on if it is running HP investment (almost all Rotom-W run HP investment), as it can't 2HKO Mega Charizard-X with Hydro Pump (make sure you capitalize move names), (RC) and is stalled out with Roost. Make sure you to avoid Thunder Wave from Pokemon like such as, Cresselia, Thundurus, (AC) (which also has Prankster) and Mega-Slowbro as paralysis cuts halves Mega Charizard-X's Speed in half (flows better), making it more suscepectible to a higher amount of revengers revenge killers.
  • set up, not setup in the first sentence
  • Mega Charizard X (no hyphen)
  • i like adding a comma after Electric-types (although i think its not really necessary there) (i like it because we used one right before, where it was necessary)
  • i tend to leave stuff like taht (if it is running HP investment) up to qc or the writer (mainly because i am ass at pokemon)
  • Mega Slowbro (no hyphen)
  • otherwise i like your change on the last sentence
nice c:

if im not supposed to do this big sorry
 

Epe-Tohri

Banned deucer.
This looks interesting! I'd love some advice on my checks - I'm trying to get more involved with the forums..

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Dugtrio is a great revenge- killer (remove hyphen) that is also able to clean late -game (add hyphen) due to it's (remove apostrophe) high Speed. Make sure to scout for opposing Choice Scarf users, because they can outspeed and KO Dugtrio instead. Because it is soDue to its frailty (I'm not very keen on using "because" at the beginning of a sentence), Dugtrio is unable to switch-in in (Remove comma) on many attacks, so you should only bring in it after a team mate (remove space) has fainted or with a slow Volt Switch/U-Turn/, U-turn, or Baton Pass user (I'm also not very keen on using slashes) such as mMega Ampharos (capitalisation) and Vaporeon.


Electrode can also run Damp Rock, which extends the duration of Rrain (capitalisation) to eight turns (more specific). Magic Guard reflects entry hazards and Taunt back to the foe, but Electrode doesn't want to give up 1one (consistency with spelling out numbers <10) of its other moves. A Special Aspecial attacking (capitalisation) set with Life Orb, Hidden Power Ice (full form, please) and Foul Play can be considered, however Electrode’s low offenses and shallow movepool mean it is underwhelming (spelling). Similarly, Choice Specs isn't a great option as Voltorb cannot put it to good use, due to the fact that (original implied that Choice Specs is outclassed) it is almost completely outclassed by other offensive Electric-types.
 
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P Squared

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This looks interesting! I'd love some advice on my checks - I'm trying to get more involved with the forums..
Really good work here! You caught almost all of the errors. The comments I do have...

Because it is soDue to its frailty (I'm not very keen on using "because" at the beginning of a sentence), Dugtrio is unable to switch-in in (Remove comma) on many attacks, so you should only bring in it after a team mate (remove space) has fainted or with a slow Volt Switch/U-Turn/, U-turn, or Baton Pass user (I'm also not very keen on using slashes) such as mMega Ampharos (capitalisation) and Vaporeon.
Starting a sentence with "because" isn't wrong, and a huuuge part of GP is avoiding subjective/unnecessary changes. If I were to change that part, I'd probably go for something like "Because of its frailty", which is closer to the original writing.
You are right on the slashes though; we try to avoid those outside of like... "252 HP / 252 Atk / 4 Spe" or "Substitute / Shadow Ball / Hidden Power Fighting / Pain Split", etc, so that was exactly the right change. Hoooowever, follow along the sentence and you'll see "such as Mega Ampharos and Vaporeon"--two examples connected with an "and", meaning plural. This conflicts with "Volt Switch, U-turn, or Baton Pass user", which is singular because of the or. So you have to change it to "such as Mega Ampharos or Vaporeon".

Electrode can also run Damp Rock, which extends the duration of Rrain (capitalisation) to eight turns (more specific). Magic Guard reflects entry hazards and Taunt back to the foe, but Electrode doesn't want to give up 1one (consistency with spelling out numbers <10) of its other moves. A Special Aspecial attacking (capitalisation) set with Life Orb, Hidden Power Ice (full form, please) and Foul Play can be considered, however Electrode’s low offenses and shallow movepool mean it is underwhelming (spelling). Similarly, Choice Specs isn't a great option as Voltorb cannot put it to good use, due to the fact that (original implied that Choice Specs is outclassed) it is almost completely outclassed by other offensive Electric-types.[/hide]
Again, you got almost everything here (rain, turns, fixing the apostrophe (though you missed one in the next sentence), spelling out numbers lower than 10, lowercase special attacking, un-abbreviating LO and HP Ice, etc). The things you missed: we use serial commas, so it should be "Life Orb, Hidden Power Ice, (comma) and Foul Play". Another important thing is that "however", which should be "; however,"; this is a very very common error in analyses so we have to be vigilant about catching those. "As" also needs a comma before it if it's equivalent to "because", just as a general rule; that's another common thing in analyses.
 

Epe-Tohri

Banned deucer.
Thank you very much for the response, P Squared :)
I hope you don't mind if I do one more!

Thanks to its great bulk and useful Grass / Steel- typing (the hyphen is not needed in this case), (add comma) Ferrothorn is one of the best entry hazard setters in ubersUbers (caps). It fairs very well against defoggers such as Lati@sas and Latios (full form--no slang terms, please!), especially if it Ferrothorn runs Toxic ("it" can refer to Latio /as, which is kinda ambiguous). Also, Toxic is useful foragainst support Arceus formes and Giratina-Origin. Also, w (if the original meant opposing Arceus / Giratina, the change is fine; however, if it meant to support our Arceus / Giratina, the original is fine). With the combination of Iron Barbs, Spikes, Leech Seed, (add comma) and Toxic, Ferrothorn can easily wear down opponents for a teammate to clean up later. It does have some flaws, however. Ferrothorn is very slow, rendered useless by Taunt, very slow, and has a nasty x4x weakness to Fire. [*]

[*] -- there was a parallelism issue here.
 
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