True Story:
I was at King's Dominion, an amusement park in central VA. I was in line for the Grizzly, an old wooden coaster, when to my left I noticed a woman with obscenely large breasts. There weren't just your typical "damn theys some big titties" kind of mammary glands. These were more along the lines of "holy shit how can she stand upright??" boobs. She wasn't fat either, so the boobs looked even more disproportionate to her body. In fact, these boobs would have looked disproportionate on a FAT girl's body, to say the least.
And, let's just say these tits could have competed on Dancing with the Stars, if you catch my drift.
So anyway, after gawking for a few minutes it was time to get on the coaster. The woman with the bodacious ta-tas was on the same ride, but several rows ahead of me. Now, before I go further, let me explain a couple of things about this roller coaster:
The Grizzly is one of the oldest coasters at the park. Because of this, it is shakier than most. In addition, it is a wooden coaster, meaning it does not go upside down and consequently does not need shoulder straps. You are simply held in by the seatbelt and waist bar, with nothing over the top half of your body. This detail will be relevant in a few moments.
So the ride goes, and we all have fun. I'm waving my hands in the air and screaming like your typical roller-tourist. To the best of my knowledge everyone else on the ride was having fun as well. I was about to be proven wrong...
As we rolled to a stop and prepared to get off the ride, I noticed a commotion going on a few rows ahead of me. People were staring and a small crowd had begun to gather. Intrigued, I tried to assess what was going on. I witnessed in front of me the woman with the watermelons being helped out of the car. As she turned to face my direction, I saw what was going on. The entire front of her shirt and chest were covered in blood. Blood was also actively gushing from her nose. Confused as to how this happened, I asked another bystander who I remembered had been sitting directly behind her. This was his response:
"When we hit that big bump in the middle of the second loop, that lady's boobs bounced up and throttled her square in the face. I think her nose is broken."
Have a nice day.