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Social LGBTQIA+

It took me (way) too long to realize that you dont have to change your personality to match your prefferred gender and that people will actually support you even if you are a masculine transfem or a femminine transmasc. And the people who wont, wouldnt have anyways.

I used to just suppress my entire personality exclusively to ask more femminine and thats just not good. Im glad i realized this even if it took forever. ^-^ (short message but like ion got much to say :P)
 
I feel incredibly conflicted at the moment but I feel that I'm making steps in (somewhat) of a right direction. To be honest, I've never really thought about my sex as it never mattered to me for a long long time. It was just "that one thing" that I never really thought about and even when I tried to last year, I didn't feel like I got anywhere (though partially maybe because my mind was tackling so many other important things at the time that I deemed more important).

I feel like I made somewhat good progress recently though. I feel comfortable with going by she/her pronouns and I've asked some places I'm in to call me by said pronouns. I would certainly be an understatement to say that I'm slightly conflicted (That doesn't even begin to scratch the surface...) but no matter what the end result of this might be I'm happy that not only have I made this (to me) important step and that the people who are around me are incredibly supportive. Or rather that those are online. I live in a... relatively transphobic town so. That probably won't be happening irl. For a while.
 
Oh well, Harris lost... I'm like a month late for this but I can see how this is very much a very bad thing.

I shall wish all of you guys and gals good luck for the next 4 (Or maybe less if sth happens to trump)years.

(Btw, I heard that trump hosted gay weddings on his house, but I might be blind again. but if this is true, that would be pretty ironic considering his transphobic voters.)
 
This bitch finally got her name and sex legally changed! Through the roof! I’m in the process of changing all of my documents; did social security and my license yesterday, finishing my paperwork for my birth certificate today.
Getting my BA done in 12 days, and in the process of scheduling my ffs consultation.
I’ve been putting my big girl pants on and really been pushing myself the last couple of days. Proud of how much I’ve done
 
Style_Dota said:
This bitch finally got her name and sex legally changed! Through the roof! I’m in the process of changing all of my documents; did social security and my license yesterday, finishing my paperwork for my birth certificate today.
Getting my BA done in 12 days, and in the process of scheduling my ffs consultation.
I’ve been putting my big girl pants on and really been pushing myself the last couple of days. Proud of how much I’ve done
Click to expand...
Great job!!! I did this about two weeks ago too :)
Will hopefully have my new ID sometime next week
Very excited to finally be able to show it and not have to cringe !
 
Alright, I know we are all feeling down due to... recent events, but lets focus on some good news. I know it is a little late, but I still see people denying it, so allow me to point out the fact that WE HAVE OUR FIRST OFFICIAL LGBTQ+ MAJOR CHARACTER IN POKEMON.
1733586171262.png

First of all, she is incredibly trans coded. I mean her ace is Sylveon for crying out loud. In addition, shes gay as hell. Now, I have seen some people say that her interaction with Carmine was not inherently gay. And I am inclined to agree. A woman calling another woman pretty is not inherently gay. However, as for the interaction with the players mom:
1733586694583.png

There is no heterosexual explanation for this. We win these.
 
Bella said:
Im too lazy to wait for June lmao i cannot deal with this anymore <3
View attachment 424417
Thats right Smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq, im trans (mtf.) Now i never thought i was going to like... ever say this and i thought this was a secret going to the fucking grave with me, but here we are. I guess i should explain how i got to this conclusion, huh?
I never considered that being Male was part of me, or that i enjoyed it. I guess i was indifferent? But well for about the last 3 years i started to hate being male and started to experience a state of dysphoria, so thats how i started to kinda realize i was trans. Now covid hitted and the dysphoria hitted like a TRUCK, so i sorta kinda began to act a bit like a girl in online spaces (I made an alternate account, and made friends on that) and that eventually made me realize: I WAS NOT A MAN. I didnt know if i was really a "girl" now or if i was just having a weird phase but i realized this isnt a phase or whatever, this was me. I just didnt want to act like a girl and being treated as one online, i wanted to be one in real life. I realized that about 6 months ago. Ive been hiding that fact until now. So yeah, i can call myself a girlboss now openly. fun
TL;DR: Yas Queen
(oh yeah, she/her pronouns pls, called me Gabriela or Bella, thats what im trying right now but its subject to change)
[/SPOILER
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Imagine telling this girl 11/2 years in the future she would get her dream come true and get estrogen.

Anyways, i finally obtained hrt please clap
 
This is a bit of a mopey, poorly put together collection of vent bullet points that don’t make much sense but I feel like I want to go through with it anyway.


-I am so pissed that there seems to be no casual way to be non binary like being a man or a woman, like I really would like to identify that way but I couldn’t without flipping my life around

-The fact I may live the rest of my life as a woman is making me sick to my stomach

- I still feel like I’m completely crazy, mentally ill, and making this up whole gender thing up since I learnt about transgender and nonbinary labels early in my life and I don’t know if I’m just copying/pretending for some skewed-up reason

- I used to be very confident in my label as a lesbian but tbh I just feel gross calling myself that now or more specifically I wouldn’t describe my attraction to women as lesbian but not straight either

- I don’t really “feel” like a woman but what does that even mean

- I don’t even know if I have or ever had attraction to ANYONE anymore or if I’m just a huge fan of telling crude jokes to make other people react

-I just wanna be happy and stop having outbursts towards my friends

-I’m such an asshole

1734056517041.jpeg
 
Style_Dota said:
This bitch finally got her name and sex legally changed! Through the roof! I’m in the process of changing all of my documents; did social security and my license yesterday, finishing my paperwork for my birth certificate today.
Getting my BA done in 12 days, and in the process of scheduling my ffs consultation.
I’ve been putting my big girl pants on and really been pushing myself the last couple of days. Proud of how much I’ve done
Click to expand...

Just as a follow up to this, currently recovering from my surgery! If anyone has chest dysphoria, if you have the resources to get this, you 100% should. I woke up from my anesthesia, looked down and instantly started crying from happiness.

The first few days SUCK though, and you literally can’t do anything, so make sure that you have a good support system to help you.
 
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
Click to expand...

because im happier with this body than i would be without it
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
Click to expand...
An incongruince between ones gender and ones sex at birth can be distressing (dysphoric). The process of medical transition brings ones body more in line with their gender.

The blanket statement that gender should not be determined by our bodies alone is one that is true, but we live in a world where socially speaking our bodies determine how our gender is perceived by others and even ourselves. If taking HRT or undergoing the process of medical transition improves our perception (passing) in society, and/or improves our own dysphoria of ourselves, then it is a good step to do so.

The "Basically" spoiler is just not accurate - its a false perception and homogonizes a lot of trans people. I don't know anyone who considers both of those two statements simultaneously. "Gender is beyond the body" DOES NOT EQUIVOCATE to "my body will not affect how I perceive myself". Thats a giant leap.

(Speaking as someone who is very much what folks would call a "binary" and maybe "passing" trans woman, I could give a fuck about the fluidity or ambiguousness of gender. Im a woman plain and simple and generally want to have as close to a cis woman's body as I can.)

"Basically": Gender identity is not physical, its mental. When sex and gender identity don't align, that can be very negative for trans people. HRT/Transition fixes this.
 
SkyOfSouls said:
Hey, I wanted to ask a question that I had after argument I had.
So how I understand it is that gender identity isn't defined by body or mannerisms or how people perceive you, but gender goes hand in hand with your expression, by the way you present yourself, via how you look, the clothes you wear, and how you act. Like you can be AMAB and be super femme, or more masc leaning, but still be transfem, without taking HRT or bottom surgery, and be happy with a good support group. But dysphoria is a real thing that can be plaguing even if you know your gender identity, as is gender envy which makes you want to look and possess a body that you don't currently have but would really like to. Even if you pass to yourself and to others, what pushes one to pursue HRT and/or bottom surgery to align with a gender identity they are comfortable with ? Basically I'm trying to say is : why change your body to conform to your gender identity/expression, even if it leaves you better off, when your gender shouldn't be shackled by your body ?

trans person : gender is beyond the body, I am free not having to consider myself AGAB, my body will not affect how I perceive myself, I am content.
also trans person : bro the gender envy is real they're so goals I WANT TO HAVE THAT BODY SO BAAAAAAAAD :psycry:

free from body changing one's perception, yet yearning to change one's body to enhance one's perception LMAO
​
​

also merry chrimmas and happy holidays with the loved ones who support you :)
Click to expand...
Jawsome and Addison gave two good answers, i'll give another point of view.

It is relatively easy to know the fact, the rational-logical data point, that gender transcends the physical form. It is harder to truly, deeply, internalize that truth.

Say you're a trans girl without physical transition. You know inside you're a girl, and you look in the mirror and see a face that society generally says is a boy's face. You rationally know how to resolve this contradiction – that society is mistaken in this particular case, and you are correct. Still, having the full throated confidence to shout "No, all of you are wrong!" is hard. It is especially hard because it's confidence in something you believe about yourself, something you are in your heart, and not something you can prove with a google search to win an argument.

When it comes to trans-ness without physical transition, I think of it similarly to a large, obvious scar that someone is insecure about. You can tell them they're beautiful the way they are, that people who react negatively to the scar are acting thoughtlessly and badly, and that it's what inside that counts anyway. And you'd be right. But that doesn't mean the person will just immediately lose all insecurity about their appearance.
 
Addison said:
An incongruince between ones gender and ones sex at birth can be distressing (dysphoric). The process of medical transition brings ones body more in line with their gender.

The blanket statement that gender should not be determined by our bodies alone is one that is true, but we live in a world where socially speaking our bodies determine how our gender is perceived by others and even ourselves. If taking HRT or undergoing the process of medical transition improves our perception (passing) in society, and/or improves our own dysphoria of ourselves, then it is a good step to do so.

The "Basically" spoiler is just not accurate - its a false perception and homogonizes a lot of trans people. I don't know anyone who considers both of those two statements simultaneously. "Gender is beyond the body" DOES NOT EQUIVOCATE to "my body will not affect how I perceive myself". Thats a giant leap.

(Speaking as someone who is very much what folks would call a "binary" and maybe "passing" trans woman, I could give a fuck about the fluidity or ambiguousness of gender. Im a woman plain and simple and generally want to have as close to a cis woman's body as I can.)

"Basically": Gender identity is not physical, its mental. When sex and gender identity don't align, that can be very negative for trans people. HRT/Transition fixes this.
Click to expand...
Adeleine said:
Jawsome and Addison gave two good answers, i'll give another point of view.

It is relatively easy to know the fact, the rational-logical data point, that gender transcends the physical form. It is harder to truly, deeply, internalize that truth.

Say you're a trans girl without physical transition. You know inside you're a girl, and you look in the mirror and see a face that society generally says is a boy's face. You rationally know how to resolve this contradiction – that society is mistaken in this particular case, and you are correct. Still, having the full throated confidence to shout "No, all of you are wrong!" is hard. It is especially hard because it's confidence in something you believe about yourself, something you are in your heart, and not something you can prove with a google search to win an argument.

When it comes to trans-ness without physical transition, I think of it similarly to a large, obvious scar that someone is insecure about. You can tell them they're beautiful the way they are, that people who react negatively to the scar are acting thoughtlessly and badly, and that it's what inside that counts anyway. And you'd be right. But that doesn't mean the person will just immediately lose all insecurity about their appearance.
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thanks a lot for the answers, it helps me understand the struggle more ! :blobthumbsup:
(also sorry for anything mean I said, I wasn't very tactful and this had confusing me for some time. wasn't nice of me to include that spoiler in hindsight).
 
hey all. I haven't been an active poster on this site for a very long time and only really check back in to follow spl/wcop but I've been reading over the posts in this thread for the past couple weeks which has helped me a little in trying to articulate my thoughts. this post is me coming out as bisexual. it feels weird typing this being this honest about it.. I've only ever told a couple online friends who have been nothing but supportive but I'm not quite sure I would get the same reception if I shared it with the people closest to me

I live in a really rural area in the southern part of england and work on a building site so you don't have to think too hard about the perception and attitudes toward lgbtq folk from most people. the people I work with regularly make degrading comments about people who aren't straight, which I always have to awkwardly laugh around and try and get away from which admittedly is chicken shit from me but also I know I'm not going to change these people's opinions and only going to ostracise myself. it feels bad having to roll over to those comments and even worse knowing that their perception of me would flip like a light switch if I was being truly honest about who I was

I'm not sure I would ever tell those people but I would like to be open with my close family knowing that they probably would be against it anyway. is there ever a right time to have that conversation, and is it always worth having it? I know the easy answer is just "yea get it over with" but a large part of me is honestly just considering waiting until my parents die and then not having to confront it at all which I know is pathetic but my parents are my best friends and the thought of them shutting me out is much worse than just sucking it up for a while. my cousin is gay and has been in a long term relationship with his partner for years now and just before christmas they got engaged. the reaction from extended family has been really weird like people are dancing around the subject and people including my own parents make shitty off handed comments which just reinforces the idea that being interested in dudes is a disqualifying trait for them apparently

I do feel a little silly coming to terms with this now in my late 20s. I spent most of my teenage and formative years being someone who was never interested in relationships and never had the courage to put myself out there. I've been using dating apps on and off for the past few months only ever describing myself as straight or bicurous feeling like some piece of shit straight guy who wants to experiment, feeling like I missed the window to have that experience which is obviously isn't true but I couldn't help shake the feeling for a while like I was taking someone for granted

it does feel freeing to have somewhere to put all this out there though. I spent a few evenings browsing through the thread and it was hard to believe this was the same Smogon I signed up to when I was 16. I remember playing on smogon's pokemon online server when you could have a winning message of your choice which I'll leave up to your imagination.. I remember trying to fumble my way into smogon affiliated IRC channels with dudes with authority in their late 20s who leant a little too hard into bigoted rhetoric. it's neat to see how the culture has shifted even in something like a pokemon forum where the out of pocket stuff people felt comfortable saying isn't tolerated anymore. it's also sick to see people who are like 17 who are so sure of who they are and have it all figured out like damn this was hard enough for me to get around in my late 20s

I don't really have anything else to say. I probably spent the last hour or so writing and deleting shit before I settled on this. thanks
 
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