Social LGBTQIA+

Peary

Drip Haver
To do what I just said I actually wanted to do: does anyone have any advice on getting 'womens' clothes for someone who still looks (at least recognisably, I don't have a big beard or anything) male? What clothes do you think could work? ANy general tips on getting gender neutral fashion?
Gender neutral fashion for me includes oversized hoodies, jeans, any shoes that have both women’s and men’s pairs of the same shoe (nike for example), some sweatpants (really just depends on the sweatpants), t shirts that aren’t overly “masculine” or “feminine”, Some Sweaters (again it really depends on the sweater), any jackets & coats that have the same jacket/coat in both men’s & women’s sizes, scarves, gloves, beanies, etc.
 
Last edited:
honest response: no.

LGBT politics should not be separated from other LGBT topics. it is important for us to be cognizant of how politics affects us since LGBT existence is inherently political.
While I think this is well-intentioned, folks should not have to defend themselves and their identity in a safe-space. I agree that it is important to be cognizant, but as Fresher Than You stated, " that doesn't mean that every moment of our being, every single discussion we have, every fiber in our bodies, needs to be politicized". It gets tiring to have to constantly defend who you are and answers questions/defend yourself. Safe spaces are supposed to be just that, a safe space free from the exhausting battle that is living everyday as an LGBTQ+ individual.

edit: forgot to add, that I agree that educating others and giving our opinions on certain issues is certainly helpful, however having to be in the educator seat 24/7 is exhausting and not having a space to go to to be free from that (at least for awhile) can attribute to his exhaustion.
 
Last edited:
While I think this is well-intentioned, folks should not have to defend themselves and their identity in a safe-space. I agree that it is important to be cognizant, but as Fresher Than You stated, " that doesn't mean that every moment of our being, every single discussion we have, every fiber in our bodies, needs to be politicized". It gets tiring to have to constantly defend who you are and answers questions/defend yourself. Safe spaces are supposed to be just that, a safe space free from the exhausting battle that is living everyday as an LGBTQ+ individual.
this does not conflict with what i said whatsoever. you can still have a queer “safe space” without detaching it from politics.
 
this does not conflict with what i said whatsoever. you can still have a queer “safe space” without detaching it from politics.
Politics are inherently confrontational, and individuals tend to argue over differing ideals - at least from my lived experiences. Inserting politics in a safe space brings room for dialogue that can force groups apart rather than coming together and separate a community. If you truly want a safe space, it's better to separate politics from that space and open dialogue through a separate avenue.

Let me be clear, I agree that LGBTQ+ issues are extremely important to have dialogue about - however I just feel like a "safe space" is not necessarily the place for these discussions.

edit: Last edit (yikes), I do agree that the state of the thread right now is not a safe space - I'm just commenting on the idea of using it as one and separating political discussions.
 
Last edited:

p0ip0le

it's a billion lions
[snip]
To do what I just said I actually wanted to do: does anyone have any advice on getting 'womens' clothes for someone who still looks (at least recognisably, I don't have a big beard or anything) male? What clothes do you think could work? ANy general tips on getting gender neutral fashion?
white clothes tend to "emphasize" curves (and black tends to hide them), and while i haven't watched the vid i've found a tutorial on how to make a normal shirt fitted. theres proooobably a way to do the same with pants but im less sure about that

this is less "gender-neutral" and more "make existing stuff more feminine" but i hope it helps a bit
 
I had a response but I don't really think it made sense so I'll just have this instead.

I want a safe space. I was hoping that this thread was it, and specfically because of drama and debating it wasn't. Politics are integral to LGBT, I know this, I just don't want to have to wade through posts to get to stuff that's relevant to me.
 
Last edited:

talah

from the river to the sea
is a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Staff Alumnusis a Past SPL Champion
queer existence is and of itself a political statement due to its antithesis to an oppressive heteronormative status quo. no one is 'inserting' politics in LGBT spaces; they are inherently political spaces. there is no such thing as an 'apolitical' LGBT existence, and this rhetorical implication that it is even possible, let alone good or desirable, is misguided at best and actively harmful at worst.
 
Last edited:
queer existence is and of itself a political statement due to its antithesis to an oppressive heteronormative status quo. no one is 'inserting' politics in LGBT spaces; they are inherently political spaces. there is no such thing as an 'apolitical' LGBT existence, and this rhetorical implication that such a thing is even possible, let alone good or desirable, is at misguided at best and actively harmful at worst.
I think there is a misunderstanding. I wanted a seperate thread for the purposes of staying on certain topics, readability not having go scroll through posts. I have no political bias or reasoning in suggesting what I did. I just wanted a seperate thread so I didn't have to scroll through arguments to get to clothing suggestions. That's literally it.
 

Chloe

is a Community Contributoris a Top Tiering Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Dedicated Tournament Hostis a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
NUPL Champion
I think there is a misunderstanding. I wanted a seperate thread for the purposes of staying on certain topics, readability not having go scroll through posts. I have no political bias or reasoning in suggesting what I did. I just wanted a seperate thread so I didn't have to scroll through arguments to get to clothing suggestions. That's literally it.
Not really sure what you mean here? That is how threads work? If you only want to read clothing suggestions or whatever you want to focus on, then you can do that by ignoring the posts you don't want to read, it's really that simple.
 
I think there is a misunderstanding. I literally wanted a seperate thread for the purposes of staying on certain topics, readability not having go scroll through posts. I have literally no political bias or reasoning in suggesting what I did. I just wanted a seperate thread so I didn't have to scroll through arguments to get to clothing suggestions. That's literally it.
having a separate thread hardly helps with this functionally. you can easily ignore the posts you don't want to engage with. there is no readability issue on a thread that gets moderate traffic at best.
Let me be clear, I agree that LGBTQ+ issues are extremely important to have dialogue about - however I just feel like a "safe space" is not necessarily the place for these discussions.
this is the issue though. it does not matter if politics are confrontational: trying to separate queer existence from politics develops complacency and ignorance in a group of politically vulnerable people. obviously we don't want outright conflict in these threads, and such posts are moderated out. political discussion and interrogation of peoples' values only serves to benefit the community, especially given so many of the people here are younger.

a little anecdote: as a teen, i mostly frequented online queer spaces that were what you two are describing as "safe spaces." anything that was remotely confrontational was moderated out, and no topics that had any potential to trigger someone could be brought up. this included even the most simple political discussions. i understand the desire to escape these things, especially as queer people, but it is possible to find a balance, and on an online forum, it's MUCH easier to ignore the politics than in a real time chat.

being in these types of spaces is not beneficial, especially for younger queer people coming into their identities. again, speaking personally, it really serves to detach us from our queer identities and the impacts these identities have on our existence... aka how we operate in a political system. i know for me personally, i went through a phase where i became so detached from the politics around my queerness that i became accepting of people who "just had different opinions" when those opinions were literally about whether or not queer people are human. this is the type of complacency liberalism breeds: this idea that you need to accept opposing viewpoints as legitimate even when they are absurd. by shielding queer people from the politics that surround our identities, we ensure they are ill-equipped to handle those people that will deny their humanity, which surely will happen.

if you personally do not want to see politics, go ahead and ignore the posts in this thread. it is not hard. if you don't want to interact with the more political people in this community, don't add them to your discord chats. but to say that the confrontational nature of politics is inherently bad is foolish when the alternative is much worse.
 
Last edited:

Plague von Karma

Banned deucer.
I've discussed the subject of a separate thread pretty extensively among staff and the LGBT Discord. The general consensus is that we want to see how the thread goes for now, but are looking to improve.

Considering I was promoted to Moderator with this thread in mind, as well as my plan to communicate actively if I'm not educated on certain topics, it seems appropriate to take a different approach.

I believe updating guidelines for this thread specifically, as things go along, would be a more viable solution. No set of rules are perfect and updating them is always an available option. Besides this, dedicating guidelines to individual threads is always an option as well, which already exist here and can be expanded on.

Making a separate thread should be seen as a last resort, the "nuclear" option. This especially applies considering it could have the opposite effect of attracting bad actors looking to spread dangerous rhetoric. While I'm perfectly open to moderating this - that's why I consider it an option, and why I'm here - it shouldn't be the first one. There's a lot to think about here and I'm open to discussion in DMs or elsewhere.
 

Myzozoa

to find better ways to say what nobody says
is a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
There is no 'outside' of politics, no safe space that can just separate itself from politics. In LGBTQ spaces that make attempts to pretend to separate 'content' from politics, the result is without fail, in every single case, that folks from historically and presently marginalized backgrounds are ignored and excluded for the purposes of including problematic white people who are friends with the leaders of such 'communities'. I mean really WHO is feeling 'safer' when users can ignore vaguely 'political' (since there hasn't been hardly anything political itt recently I assume this is a code word for anything confrontational or controversial, i.e the crux controversy) postings to get to clothing suggestions faster lol? If that is what you want there are a lot of options besides this thread, like why are you in particular so important that anyone who is posting about politics should be separated from the content you want to see (is there some privilege you have that I should be recognizing? my bad I guess)? I'm sorry if this sounds offensive, but I really don't get it.

If you think this is a really uncharitable understanding of users' posts on this page, just remember if I was being really aggro I would just assume this was a big and carefully calculated troll. From an external perspective when you come into a thread making big political statements like "I want this to be a safe space so keep politics out because I'm just here for fashion advice", like, in a highly trolly and ironic way you are bringing politics into this thread while playing it off as if it is actually others who are poisoning the thread with politics. "I am not trying to make a political statement" and "I am not here for politics" are themselves political statements. The dynamics of such postings are worth highlighting, which is why I have done so.

Finally, I do think a lot of the recent posts surrounding the crux controversy should be deleted from the thread: inflammatory and unsubstantiated allegations, and attempts to question them are not really the subject matter of this thread. I'm sorry you had to scroll through these posts. And I do think a clothing/fashion advice thread would be good for its own sake without being a reflection of some need to split this thread.
 
Last edited:

The Official Glyx

Banned deucer.
Several months ago, back when Pokepride was removed from the thread OP and in discussion as to whether or not it would/should be readded, the server staff team approached the active cong moderation team at the time to discuss multiple topics and propositions ranging from the likes of defining a clear and concise purpose for both the thread and the server, cong staff's involvement, and, most notably, this said same topic of splitting the thread into two different ones. The idea was ultimately cast aside, due to the concerns of bad faith users clogging up a hypothetical LGBTQ+ discussion thread, as well as the fact that said bad faith users could easily be filtered out from the server, making it a better place for these discussions to be had.

While I understood where they were coming from, I never really agreed with it, personally, though, after seeing how this thread's been faring over the past week or so, I think I see what they mean now. All too often, there are malicious users, spammers, alts (one was even busted in the making of this post!), and general bad faith presences, all of whom make it difficult for productive conversations to be had. To have unfettered discourse would require mass filtering of these problematic presences that is simply not feasible for a public thread on smogon. Given Pokepride's status as a more gated community, I welcome anyone who feels comfortable with the idea to bring up points of discussion there.

While I do not mean to directly discourage attempts at discourse from this thread, it would be foolish to not acknowledge the fact that basically all attempts at it within the past year or so have not really gone over well. While there is of course one particular aggressive (now banned) user who can be found at the center of many of the arguments within the past year, that isn't to say that they were the sole aggressor. Even now, we can still see instances where people try to cut someone down and stifle their argument, rather than trying to accommodate them and help them come to learn and develop from the discussion. All of this intermingled with the more commonplace coming out posts, advice, sharing experiences, and other everyday things just leads to the thread seeming conflicted about what it wants to be, in my opinion.

The main "solution", or at least something resembling one, that I can come up with is establishing stricter guidelines (echoing Plague von Karma's sentiment) that clarify what good circumstances for a discussion might resemble. As I've mentioned in the Pokepride server, I believe discussions are more a matter of finding the right time and place to occur, since their status as a notable outlier to everything else that occurs within the thread generally requires them to be more self-contained so that the peace doesn't get disrupted too much. This is not necessarily a push to restrict discussion, so much as it is a push for stronger moderation of discussions so that they can operate in a well-timed and amicable manner.

In general, I believe that the LGBTQ+ movement and LGBTQ+ community don't necessarily need to both adhere to the same levels of political-ness as one another. At the end of the day, this is a Pokemon site with its userbase being mostly teenagers; there is only so much activism that can be accomplished here. While wanting to inform and raise awareness for certain topics is an understandably noble cause, I believe these are things that people should really be eased into at their own pace, rather than being immediately thrown into the deep end, so that way people can actually take away something from these discussions, rather than them all being painted under the same brush of "drama". Bringing people together as a community requires the desire to be hospitable and communicate with one another; without that, we stand no chance at swaying the will of those who would oppose us.

Thanks for reading-
1608170077436.png
 

Here Comes Team Charm!

Perhaps the stars
is a Community Contributoris a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
This whole discussion is dumb because everybody is redefining 'politics' in whatever way is most convenient, sometimes multiple times in one post. I'll be using it to mean 'cultural, social, or legal conflict between different people' and encourage everybody to explicitly state their definition because you can't have any meaningful discussion without mutual understanding of the key terms.

Anyway, I'm sympathetic to the argument that we shouldn't make a separate thread, which is after all a big change that should require careful consideration beforehand, and I still hope that this conflict can be resolved somehow.

That said, I also think people fundamentally have the right to say 'no, I do not want to interact with X' without providing further justification or reason (that's the entire point of content warnings). Political discourse can be triggering, depressing, or just plain harmful, and at the very least I would suggest a system where politically-charged posts get put in a spoiler wrapper or have a CW added to them, so people can more easily choose not to interact with them, without affecting the political people.
 
Last edited:

steelskitty

you deserve so much more than this
is a Tutor Alumnusis a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
This post is very polemical, and if you're anything like the user above it's unclear to me how you'll feel about it.

I'll be direct. Rosa, I'm almost positive your most recent post in this thread is well-intentioned. That said, I think it's poor. I don't believe the vision of it aligns very well with either what this thread is or what it ought to be. I've been lurking around here for a while and, as you'll probably be able to tell, I haven't been very satisfied with the direction this thread has taken over the past couple pages either. Even so, I reach a very different set of conclusions regarding what to do about it than you. Let's get into it.
Several months ago, back when Pokepride was removed from the thread OP and in discussion as to whether or not it would/should be readded, the server staff team approached the active cong moderation team at the time to discuss multiple topics and propositions ranging from the likes of defining a clear and concise purpose for both the thread and the server, cong staff's involvement, and, most notably, this said same topic of splitting the thread into two different ones. The idea was ultimately cast aside, due to the concerns of bad faith users clogging up a hypothetical LGBTQ+ discussion thread, as well as the fact that said bad faith users could easily be filtered out from the server, making it a better place for these discussions to be had.

While I understood where they were coming from, I never really agreed with it, personally, though, after seeing how this thread's been faring over the past week or so, I think I see what they mean now.
I feel like discussions about this thread's purpose are both good and probably necessary — I, and I'm sure many others, see it as one of cong's most important, and to ensure that it remains relevant and useful in the future it does behoove the moderation team to periodically discuss where it's going and how it could improve. On the other hand, I'm concerned you've reached the wrong conclusion from these discussions. You have to recognize that what you're doing when you say
To have unfettered discourse would require mass filtering of these problematic presences that is simply not feasible for a public thread on smogon. Given Pokepride's status as a more gated community, I welcome anyone who feels comfortable with the idea to bring up points of discussion there.
is exactly what these problematic presences want. The reason you see so many bad-faith individuals attacking this thread is because they recognize the importance of it as an open forum for discussion and want to silence it. This thread is far-and-away the most accessible way to discuss everything related to queerness on Smogon — it serves variously as a place to come out, a place for queer users to post life updates, a forum for queer political discussion, and also an area for miscellaneous discussion and general life help. And it is not only the most accessible all-purpose thread related to queerness. This thread gives us a medium for formal discussion meaningfully distinct from a disorganized live chat format hosted by what you yourself call a "gated community" that has long had an at-best tenuous connection to many of us who post here. This thread, in short, is special, and 732 posts over 30 pages prove that.

Attempting to moderate or otherwise censor all political speech within it is highly problematic for a number of reasons even aside from how this thread is uniquely qualified to serve as a medium for unfettered discourse. For one, it's not going to stop banned deucers from making alts to troll, harass, and otherwise prey on this thread's users, nor will it stop the bad-faith users who toe the line here yet don't do anything banworthy. These people will still do this regardless of how you censor posts — just the fact that this is the
unknown.png
LGBTQ+ thread alone means they'll keep coming, unfortunately regardless of what moderation strategy you take. Censorship of good-faith discussion is not a solution to this problem. Furthermore, censoring explicitly political discussion here is a victory that these problematic users both haven't earned and don't deserve. How can I tell? Look at low-tier 1v1 goon pqs "cringe" or "haha" reacting every recent post that attempts to engage in discourse and liking every post that strives to silence it. For another topical example, consider an actual message a banned deucer posted here just yesterday as this discussion heated up:
What you're suggesting is to throw in the towel and let these people win, and you don't see any problem with that?

Even then, recognize that this is discourse you fundamentally can't silence. Attempting to relegate it to private channels or otherwise suppress it will instead directly lead to its indirect proliferation. An excellent point that both starry blanket and Myzozoa make (and that you never address) is that the very act of coming out is a political statement. Queerness itself is innately political. Coming out as queer is declaring yourself to be in opposition to the heteronormative status quo. Every time you engage in any sort of conversation involving queerness, you are challenging conservative lines of thought. And, as myzozoa in particular points out, silencing explicitly political queer discourse is in fact a political statement in and of itself — a conservative one, at that, because it enables the heteronormative establishment to prevail. The fact is, sexuality (and the politics surrounding it) is in everything we do here, regardless of how you feel about it. It's in Fresher Than You's post that asks in part about androgynous fashion. It's in Coconut's vaguely threatening message to "keep things civil and on topic." It's definitely in Jakee's post about PDA with his boyfriend. If you want to stop political discourse here, you need to delete the entire thread or remove every explicit or implicit reference to queerness within it. I don't think anybody wants that.

I'll circle back to the above in a bit because it's also relevant to the later parts of your post, but I also want to address your perception that the discourse in the thread hasn't been great.
While I do not mean to directly discourage attempts at discourse from this thread, it would be foolish to not acknowledge the fact that basically all attempts at it within the past year or so have not really gone over well. While there is of course one particular aggressive (now banned) user who can be found at the center of many of the arguments within the past year, that isn't to say that they were the sole aggressor. Even now, we can still see instances where people try to cut someone down and stifle their argument, rather than trying to accommodate them and help them come to learn and develop from the discussion.
The first clause of your topic sentence here claims that you don't want to discourage attempts at political discourse in this thread, but the entire rest of this paragraph (and almost all of the rest of your post) is in fact a direct attempt to dissuade users from it. What your supposed intent is is one thing; how it actually comes across when you as a moderator and ostensible leader of Smogon's queer community post is quite another. Your take in this paragraph also unfortunately reads as politically illiterate. You and many others in this thread seem to confuse reasonable political discourse with attempts to exclude people from the discussion. Nobody would deny that Crux has a particularly confrontational style of argumentation, but like TheValkyries alluded to earlier you have to go through some pretty impressive mental gymnastics to read bad faith into his posts leading up to his ban. Whether queer spaces should include cishet asexuals is in fact a debate worth having in a public forum for discussion such as this, and the very fact that it is a public forum means that any affected parties are necessarily not excluded from participation. It's necessarily impossible to include every marginalized identity in the queer political movement we all participate in by the very fact of our existence — new identities vie for inclusion often, and it's doubtful the queer community has the resources to accommodate them all. Yet even if you buy that the queer community should include everyone (or even just cishet asexuals!) wanting to participate in it, this sort of discussion is still worth having. I used to be firmly on the side of excluding cishet asexuals, but Hogg's excellent post gives me an idea of how asexuality is a factor that leads to tangible oppression that leaves me much more ambivalent about, if not perhaps even in favor of welcoming cishet asexuals into queer spaces. These are things I probably would never have learned had the original posts on asexuality not compelled Hogg to post his take. I see this as public discourse working exactly the way it's supposed to — I can easily read and participate in it without an invitation, and as a result I come out of it a more informed and perhaps better person holistically. Why would you try to repress that in order to prevent a few people's feelings from getting hurt?

And I am very convinced you're actively attempting to repress discussion, just as Kris and Coconut have done on prior pages. When you write that
All of this intermingled with the more commonplace coming out posts, advice, sharing experiences, and other everyday things just leads to the thread seeming conflicted about what it wants to be, in my opinion.

The main "solution", or at least something resembling one, that I can come up with is establishing stricter guidelines (echoing Plague von Karma's sentiment) that clarify what good circumstances for a discussion might resemble. As I've mentioned in the Pokepride server, I believe discussions are more a matter of finding the right time and place to occur, since their status as a notable outlier to everything else that occurs within the thread generally requires them to be more self-contained so that the peace doesn't get disrupted too much. This is not necessarily a push to restrict discussion, so much as it is a push for stronger moderation of discussions so that they can operate in a well-timed and amicable manner.
you're saying something else that's self-contradictory, and since I believe your post to be in good faith it seems to me that you don't realize the way in which it contradicts itself. "Establishing stricter guidelines" to "clarify what good circumstances for a discussion might resemble" is in itself "a push to restrict discussion." You are saying something vague and threatening while arguing for more enforcement of rules that it's unclear those of us frequenting this thread will actually have any involvement in the creation of. At best you are trying to scare us out of posting whatever we want to; at worst you are saying free discourse here is straight-up harmful. I think you are creating a problem that does not exist — perceiving as a bad thing the fact that this thread lacks any unifying purpose outside of queer discussion — and trying to effect a solution to it that many of us don't want. Your read of explicitly political discussions as "notable outliers" to the rest of the content of the thread is straight-up wrong; they are in many ways the most important part of the thread, and not incongruent at all with the less explicitly political discourse. Remember that every single coming-out post in this thread is a political statement and invitation to political discourse, and reconsider your declaration that we should throw out the politics from the thread. The fact that the thread is full of politics is not a problem, as political discussion is, in fact, the very purpose of its existence. You're trying to limit when the thread has explicitly political discussions, to what extent it has them, to what extent we are allowed to say what we want in them, to what extent they're seen as relevant to the thread, to what extent they're perceived as "amicable" (whatever the fuck this means), and in what place they occur, and you're also going to tell us you aren't "push[ing] to restrict discussion?" Do you not see all the political statements you yourself are making, despite your attempts to suppress our discussion of politics?

To close out, I want to address the last place I feel your post misses the mark. Quoted below:
In general, I believe that the LGBTQ+ movement and LGBTQ+ community don't necessarily need to both adhere to the same levels of political-ness as one another. At the end of the day, this is a Pokemon site with its userbase being mostly teenagers; there is only so much activism that can be accomplished here. While wanting to inform and raise awareness for certain topics is an understandably noble cause, I believe these are things that people should really be eased into at their own pace, rather than being immediately thrown into the deep end, so that way people can actually take away something from these discussions, rather than them all being painted under the same brush of "drama". Bringing people together as a community requires the desire to be hospitable and communicate with one another; without that, we stand no chance at swaying the will of those who would oppose us.
If you buy anything I said about queerness being political at any point earlier in this post, you necessarily have to recognize the fallacy inherent in believing there's a clear demarcation between the "LGBTQ+ movement" and "LGBTQ+ community" like you suggest. Furthermore, your claim about the userbase here "being mostly teenagers" isn't logically consistent with the idea that "there is only so much activism that can be accomplished here." Being a queer teenager doesn't exclude you from political participation. I'm sorry, but if you're queer, and you're out, even if only to yourself, you're in the movement by default. Believing that what goes on in this thread stays online is irresponsible. The best thing about this thread, in fact, is the fact that it has positive real-world implications for those of us who engage with it. Let's face it: it's undeniable that the world is a dangerous place for queer folk. Even in the United States, sometimes seen as a progressive country for queer people, things are not looking great. Consider how only just now, several decades after the AIDS epidemic, the FDA is finally considering limiting its restrictions on men who have sex with men being able to donate blood. Consider how the most recent administration banned transgender people from participating in the military. Note how in many states there are no legal mechanisms put in place to protect queer folk from housing discrimination, nor from getting fired on the basis of their queerness alone. This is not a world where we can expect to let teenagers using this thread "ease into [things] at their own pace" — we have a phenomenal public outlet for all manner of productive discussion that can educate people on the oftentimes harsh realities of queerness, and we should necessarily use that outlet for all that it's worth to inform and perhaps even protect our userbase. I don't disagree that we should bring people together as a community, but I can only see the censorship you repeatedly propose as oppositional to this. We cannot come together by silencing discussion — rather, we need to learn to listen, and listen well, because if this is your vision of "fixing" this thread I genuinely want no part in it.
 

Itchy

take all my data, what will you find?
is a Site Content Manageris a Social Media Contributoris a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
Hi! I'm Itchy, and I play 1v1 and 2v2. I made a post here saying I was questioning my gender a little while ago, and this is my follow up to that! If you haven't already read that, you can check that out here. It's quite short, but gives some context for this post.

My childhood and nonconformity:
As much as it is a cliché to say, as a child, I was not like other boys, not that I really cared. I was always hanging out with girls, I collected stuffed animals and rarely even talked to boys, even past the age that most kids start to separate by gender. Looking back, it was quite obvious something was up, but in the moment, I was just existing as me the best way I knew how.

Realizing I like boys, and then realizing I wasn't bi:
Fast forward to the summer before my last year of middle school, when I'm finally becoming more self-aware. I'm watching TV with my family, and I see a cute guy. I pause for a second, and realize what happened, and pretty quickly realize I like boys. It took me WAY longer to realize that I was not also attracted to women. That year, when I went to school, I referred to myself as bi/pan, and didn't think too much about it. I "dated" a couple of girls, but I treated them no different than I would a friend. After a while, I eventually switched to saying I was biromantic but gay, trying to rationalize away any thoughts that I wasn't attracted to girls as just having a preference. As I entered my high school, I realized this was wrong, and used the label gay exclusively.

Gender stuff:
Once I figured out I was exclusively attracted to boys, I felt like I had everything figured out. However, I was often dismissing a lot of more feminine feelings as just me being gay. After 2 years of identifying as gay, I started to realize that something was off. As this was building, I joined PS, and began to become involved with the 1v1 and later 2v2 communities, which is where I was when I first made my post announcing I was questioning. Since then, I've processed what exactly I was feeling, and realized I was non-binary. I've been saying so for a few weeks online in some private servers, and I think I'm ready to publicly come out!

TLDR:
I shared my experiences with compulsory heterosexuality, and I came out as nonbinary. I use they/them pronouns, please use those if you aren't already using those for me.

s/os the cuties in Sunflower Fields and Poképride discord servers that helped me through this! You are all so nice ^~^
 
Last edited:

Coconut

W
is a Top Social Media Contributoris a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Top Tiering Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Tutor Alumnusis a Senior Staff Member Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Staff Alumnus
LC Leader
It's in Coconut's vaguely threatening message to "keep things civil and on topic."

And I am very convinced you're actively attempting to repress discussion...Coconut have done on prior pages.
man all I said was that I want things to be civil and on-topic. the amount of hard porn that I had to delete on that day was too damn high. I don't want to silence anyone, I just don't want people getting harassed. frankly my knowledge on this stuff isn't up to snuff, so I don't know, or care to know who's right or wrong. if I am actively repressing people from talking, I'm sorry but like all I want is for people to be nice to each other and not post dumb shit.

please leave me out of your narrative.
 

The Official Glyx

Banned deucer.
Attempting to moderate or otherwise censor all political speech within it is highly problematic for a number of reasons even aside from how this thread is uniquely qualified to serve as a medium for unfettered discourse. For one, it's not going to stop banned deucers from making alts to troll, harass, and otherwise prey on this thread's users, nor will it stop the bad-faith users who toe the line here yet don't do anything banworthy. These people will still do this regardless of how you censor posts — just the fact that this is the
unknown.png
LGBTQ+ thread alone means they'll keep coming, unfortunately regardless of what moderation strategy you take. Censorship of good-faith discussion is not a solution to this problem. Furthermore, censoring explicitly political discussion here is a victory that these problematic users both haven't earned and don't deserve. How can I tell? Look at low-tier 1v1 goon pqs "cringe" or "haha" reacting every recent post that attempts to engage in discourse and liking every post that strives to silence it. For another topical example, consider an actual message a banned deucer posted here just yesterday as this discussion heated up:
(img)
What you're suggesting is to throw in the towel and let these people win, and you don't see any problem with that?

Even then, recognize that this is discourse you fundamentally can't silence. Attempting to relegate it to private channels or otherwise suppress it will instead directly lead to its indirect proliferation. An excellent point that both starry blanket and Myzozoa make (and that you never address) is that the very act of coming out is a political statement. Queerness itself is innately political. Coming out as queer is declaring yourself to be in opposition to the heteronormative status quo. Every time you engage in any sort of conversation involving queerness, you are challenging conservative lines of thought. And, as myzozoa in particular points out, silencing explicitly political queer discourse is in fact a political statement in and of itself — a conservative one, at that, because it enables the heteronormative establishment to prevail. The fact is, sexuality (and the politics surrounding it) is in everything we do here, regardless of how you feel about it. It's in Fresher Than You's post that asks in part about androgynous fashion. It's in Coconut's vaguely threatening message to "keep things civil and on topic." It's definitely in Jakee's post about PDA with his boyfriend. If you want to stop political discourse here, you need to delete the entire thread or remove every explicit or implicit reference to queerness within it. I don't think anybody wants that.
A few things to clarify here:
  • No, I do not want discussion to be completely off limits or censored or anything of the sort.
    • I simply believe that there's a time and place (and manner) where it is most optimal to occur in order to be as effective as it can be, in addition to the need for moderation. Formal debates have moderators for good reason, and it stands to reason that moderation would be especially necessary in an informal context such as an all-purpose thread like this. If keeping things civil and productive by limiting bad faith presences and arguments is how you would define something being restrictive, then I welcome it.
  • We seem to have different definitions of what constitutes giving bad faith presences what they want.
    • Given the activity of bad faith presences, it actually stands to reason that they thrive off of chaotic discourse. I can only speak anecdotally in this regard since I do not have the ability to see deleted posts in this thread, but I often notice that their activity becomes heightened whenever a Crux type stirs the pot, with it also being widely known that trolls enjoy seeing Crux be aggressive and triggering others as a result.
    • In wanting to double check the above, I actually had someone capable of seeing the deleted posts here confirm this, and it turns out I was indeed correct (ie, trolls have a significant propensity to make alts, spam, etc during serious discussions, as opposed to any other time), so it should be abundantly clear that encouraging haphazard discussion is truly giving the trolls what they want.
  • The state of being queer is not inherently political.
    • I hinted at it in the last paragraph of my initial post, but, since it is being used as a talking point here, I won't mince my words. Feeling the way you feel doesn't mean you should be forcefully indoctrinated into any sort of political coalition. It is of course absolutely encouraged for people to get into politics, queer and otherwise, but this does not justify forcing it upon people.
The first clause of your topic sentence here claims that you don't want to discourage attempts at political discourse in this thread, but the entire rest of this paragraph (and almost all of the rest of your post) is in fact a direct attempt to dissuade users from it. What your supposed intent is is one thing; how it actually comes across when you as a moderator and ostensible leader of Smogon's queer community post is quite another. Your take in this paragraph also unfortunately reads as politically illiterate. You and many others in this thread seem to confuse reasonable political discourse with attempts to exclude people from the discussion. Nobody would deny that Crux has a particularly confrontational style of argumentation, but like TheValkyries alluded to earlier you have to go through some pretty impressive mental gymnastics to read bad faith into his posts leading up to his ban. Whether queer spaces should include cishet asexuals is in fact a debate worth having in a public forum for discussion such as this, and the very fact that it is a public forum means that any affected parties are necessarily not excluded from participation. It's necessarily impossible to include every marginalized identity in the queer political movement we all participate in by the very fact of our existence — new identities vie for inclusion often, and it's doubtful the queer community has the resources to accommodate them all. Yet even if you buy that the queer community should include everyone (or even just cishet asexuals!) wanting to participate in it, this sort of discussion is still worth having. I used to be firmly on the side of excluding cishet asexuals, but Hogg's excellent post gives me an idea of how asexuality is a factor that leads to tangible oppression that leaves me much more ambivalent about, if not perhaps even in favor of welcoming cishet asexuals into queer spaces. These are things I probably would never have learned had the original posts on asexuality not compelled Hogg to post his take. I see this as public discourse working exactly the way it's supposed to — I can easily read and participate in it without an invitation, and as a result I come out of it a more informed and perhaps better person holistically. Why would you try to repress that in order to prevent a few people's feelings from getting hurt?
There's a few things to unpack here:
  • Would you call discussion that concludes with someone's ban reasonable discourse? Not only that, but would you call an aggressive response to someone asking simple questions with no clear malice reasonable discourse?
  • Discussing the inclusion of asexuality within the LGBTQ+ movement is absolutely something valid, and even encouraged, to talk about; my main issue stems mostly from how the discussion is carried out. Would you call going on a tirade about how asexual people aren't LGBT directly after someone comes out as asexual reasonable discourse?
  • You heavily imply multiple times that I'm arguing for the removal of all discussions, when that is simply not reality, as I explained above. Even considering my rhetoric regarding appropriate time and place for these sorts of things in relation to the above bullet, I do believe that even a discussion regarding the inclusion of asexual people directly after someone coming out as asexual could have very well been appropriate and productive, if done in a respectful manner with ample amounts of tact. The results of what happens when you go in without those two things are plain to see in the posts following Crux's tirade.
you're saying something else that's self-contradictory, and since I believe your post to be in good faith it seems to me that you don't realize the way in which it contradicts itself. "Establishing stricter guidelines" to "clarify what good circumstances for a discussion might resemble" is in itself "a push to restrict discussion." You are saying something vague and threatening while arguing for more enforcement of rules that it's unclear those of us frequenting this thread will actually have any involvement in the creation of. At best you are trying to scare us out of posting whatever we want to; at worst you are saying free discourse here is straight-up harmful. I think you are creating a problem that does not exist — perceiving as a bad thing the fact that this thread lacks any unifying purpose outside of queer discussion — and trying to effect a solution to it that many of us don't want. Your read of explicitly political discussions as "notable outliers" to the rest of the content of the thread is straight-up wrong; they are in many ways the most important part of the thread, and not incongruent at all with the less explicitly political discourse. Remember that every single coming-out post in this thread is a political statement and invitation to political discourse, and reconsider your declaration that we should throw out the politics from the thread. The fact that the thread is full of politics is not a problem, as political discussion is, in fact, the very purpose of its existence. You're trying to limit when the thread has explicitly political discussions, to what extent it has them, to what extent we are allowed to say what we want in them, to what extent they're seen as relevant to the thread, to what extent they're perceived as "amicable" (whatever the fuck this means), and in what place they occur, and you're also going to tell us you aren't "push[ing] to restrict discussion?" Do you not see all the political statements you yourself are making, despite your attempts to suppress our discussion of politics
Let's take this one point by point:
  • "You are saying something vague and threatening while arguing for more enforcement of rules that it's unclear those of us frequenting this thread will actually have any involvement in the creation of."
    • I believe that people should treat each other with respect and common decency so that discussions can remain civil, be productive, and not arouse the attention of the bad faith presences who at least aren't able to talk here without creating an alt. Apologies for not being clear in my initial post.
  • "At best you are trying to scare us out of posting whatever we want to; at worst you are saying free discourse here is straight-up harmful."
    • Neither! See above.
  • "Remember that every single coming-out post in this thread is a political statement and invitation to political discourse, and reconsider your declaration that we should throw out the politics from the thread."
    • First, already explained that I'm not looking to block politics, discussion, or anything of the sort.
    • Second, I've already said my piece regarding the politicization of simply being queer.
    • Third, I double checked all those links and fail to see any sort of invitation to discourse in any of them.
If you buy anything I said about queerness being political at any point earlier in this post, you necessarily have to recognize the fallacy inherent in believing there's a clear demarcation between the "LGBTQ+ movement" and "LGBTQ+ community" like you suggest. Furthermore, your claim about the userbase here "being mostly teenagers" isn't logically consistent with the idea that "there is only so much activism that can be accomplished here." Being a queer teenager doesn't exclude you from political participation. I'm sorry, but if you're queer, and you're out, even if only to yourself, you're in the movement by default. Believing that what goes on in this thread stays online is irresponsible. The best thing about this thread, in fact, is the fact that it has positive real-world implications for those of us who engage with it. Let's face it: it's undeniable that the world is a dangerous place for queer folk. Even in the United States, sometimes seen as a progressive country for queer people, things are not looking great. Consider how only just now, several decades after the AIDS epidemic, the FDA is finally considering limiting its restrictions on men who have sex with men being able to donate blood. Consider how the most recent administration banned transgender people from participating in the military. Note how in many states there are no legal mechanisms put in place to protect queer folk from housing discrimination, nor from getting fired on the basis of their queerness alone. This is not a world where we can expect to let teenagers using this thread "ease into [things] at their own pace" — we have a phenomenal public outlet for all manner of productive discussion that can educate people on the oftentimes harsh realities of queerness, and we should necessarily use that outlet for all that it's worth to inform and perhaps even protect our userbase. I don't disagree that we should bring people together as a community, but I can only see the censorship you repeatedly propose as oppositional to this. We cannot come together by silencing discussion — rather, we need to learn to listen, and listen well, because if this is your vision of "fixing" this thread I genuinely want no part in it.
In retrospect, I suppose the comment about activism not being able to be performed here missed the mark. Rather, it is not our duty to partake in activism through sole means of being LGBTQ+. It is absolutely heavily encouraged, of course, though if people aren't willing or want to take things slow and absorb the culture first, then that is their prerogative. While I do agree that there are a great many LGBTQ+ matters that need as many eyes on them as possible, I simply do not agree with the methodology of forcefully indoctrinating people into the movement. If anything, I believe that this can actually do more harm than good; as Pokepride staff, I've talked to and heard from many users, queer and otherwise, who generally opt out of discussion, with them often citing instances of discourse in this thread as reasoning for why they've been dissuaded from participating, so at the very least I feel it's clear that the current approach isn't working. LGBT is a movement founded upon compassion and mutual understanding and respect; values that I hope can be a takeaway from this discussion. There are many people who go through this thread, all of whom have their own set of circumstances that they have to handle on a daily basis that we can never fully understand without being in their shoes; if we could show some respect to their situation and allow them to grow, develop, and learn at their own rate, I believe that would go much further than any amount of poignant posts hyperlinking to other poignant posts.
 

Myzozoa

to find better ways to say what nobody says
is a Top Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Past WCoP Champion
  • The state of being queer is not inherently political.
    • I hinted at it in the last paragraph of my initial post, but, since it is being used as a talking point here, I won't mince my words. Feeling the way you feel doesn't mean you should be forcefully indoctrinated into any sort of political coalition. It is of course absolutely encouraged for people to get into politics, queer and otherwise, but this does not justify forcing it upon people.
No one is indoctrinating anyone into a movement by posting 'political things' itt. That is simply nonsense. No need to mince words. Further, it is pretty much indefensible to assert that existing as an lgbtq person isn't political when our bodies are constantly threatened juridically and by everyday violence. It is pretty disheartening to see this type of thinking accompanied by some rhetorical fluff about the proper platform for 'debate', as if the content from users espousing this way of thinking hasn't just been 'we don't care about politics and we find it disturbing so please stop posting about it', followed by what can only be described at this point as stubborn and repeated intentional misreadings of posts born out of a desire to nurture a feeling of being victimized in some way by posts engaging with political topics (for example the coming out post you referred to called into question ace inclusion itself, voluntarily bringing up the topic with a desire to learn, and then when someone responded to this with a technical post about what might be made of the notion of heterosexual asexuals you referred to such engagement as a 'tirade'... https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq.3633101/page-27 ).

Through these stubborn and 'bad faith' misreadings the notion of 'civility' finally arrives to bail you out as the pretext for locking threads and banning users who engage with these topics. When it is all over, the fact of a user getting banned becomes your evidence that the platform is inappropriate to the content of the discussion. A perfect circle: everyone is 'allowed' to develop at their own rate, except people who are developing an engagement with political topics or asking questions that might engender any disagreements or controversies. On your view users can never really be ready or else the fact of their engagement is somehow damaging to other users' learning/development, but in fact no one is forcing them to engage in such discourses, they are entirely allowed to learn at their own pace uncoerced. Lastly, ask yourself if you're really doing anyone's development a favor by sparing them the discomfort of being exposed to new viewpoints in passing, the discussion of which they are not required to participate in at all.

Another major irony in this post is this notion of empathy and mutual respect, apparently these are really important things, except when users engage with topics related to *checks notes* their own oppression as lgbtq people in a way that seems too passionate or confrontational. Like, I wonder why anyone would be passionate about these things, right? Big turn off I suppose, can't understand it.

Finally, it is possibly worth pointing out here that tonally and structurally your last post is pretty identical to what you might likely describe as the 'aggro crux post':
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq.3633101/page-14#post-8405066
https://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/lgbtq.3633101/page-13#post-8398792
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 1, Guests: 2)

Top