Social LGBTQIA+

[Revenge of Depressed Gay]

I don't know where else to really put this but I think here is somewhat appropriate as it pertains to my experiences with religion as a bisexual man. I apologize if there is some triggering stuff in here but honestly I just need a place to vent about this because lately I've been thinking about it a lot.

I honestly do not trust devout Christians. I have never been comfortable around them, nor have I felt safe around them. I always felt as though I'm on edge because I'm worried that me being bisexual is something that will make them hate me or be uncomfortable by. I am very open about my identity and choose not to hide it because I shouldn't. I should be proud to be a bisexual man and not have to hide it from the world just because I don't feel safe around them. Hell even before I was out of the closet I always felt uncomfortable in churches because they made me feel like I didn't belong. My mother practically shoved Catholicism down my throat by forcing me to partake in after school religion classes that nobody liked because as a kid the last thing you want after school is more school for something you have zero interest in. I took those classes for seven years and I hated every moment I was there. Following that I was somewhat terrified to come out to my parents not because of my dad but because I was worried my mom wouldn't accept me or be forced to accept me. For the most part it was smooth sailing from there but there was a moment in which someone tried to convert me I guess. He invited me to go to his church and I said no I don't feel comfortable there and have no interest in going, but he just wouldn't take no for an answer. Eventually someone else had to step in and tell him to stop because I was obviously not going to go, and he was being an asshole about it. I think that moment spurred my distrust for devout Christians in the first place because even if they weren't blatantly calling me shit like f*gg*t or telling me I'd go to hell for my sins they'd try to convert me or "save" me. I'm sorry for making a long post about this but with all the time I have due to me getting COVID and going on my second week of self quarantine I have been thinking about a lot of shit recently, and I needed to get this off my chest.

 

[Bopher]

yo everyone i am gay ((homosexual))

i thought that i was bi for a long while before realising that in the long term, i only really thought about ending up with a guy. sexuality is weird and hard to define, some days i find myself surprisingly inclined towards women but i've finally decided to say fuck it and embrace the term gay
i'm a pretty reserved dude, some of my discord friends in the 1v1 community know but i'm tryna be more open with it irl so this is practice for when I eventually get around to doing that. s/o to literally all of you guys for being lovely people in general

its fun reading through this thread and seeing peoples stories. im a good listener if anyone wants to vent or chat about similar experiences, pretty active on discord (tag in my profile)

take the rainbow road

now give me smogon likes!

 

[Adeleine]

Hi, I'm a gay lobby staff. Applying sexuality to (non-human) Pokemon and (usually minor) Pokemon trainers is really creepy. Please don't do it.

Third, I like to notice how you left out the part where I said I'd gotten in trouble for saying stuff like "happy pride month" or things around that.

You uh didn't mention it, and I do not recall such a thing? if you give me a date i can check the logs and see what happened, though.

EDIT: found it.

[10:37:18] kacieisokay: happy pride : )
[10:37:35] kacieisokay: why aren't you guys saying happy pride back do you hate gay people

this didn't get you banned, of course, or even muted. it was just one of many things. i assume another chance was burned when you called someone a "commie fuck" for criticizing capitalism that same day

See I probably didn't say that last part but I live in a house with my boyfriend and my siblings, who all use the website. I have tried to tell people this MULTIPLE times and every time they think I'm a troll, and just tell me to go away. I literally can't do anything about the fact that you guys treat all IP addresses as one user.

[11:06:26] kacieisokay: everything you commie fuck

EDIT2: You start conversations by clicking on a person's name in the left and "Start Conversation", but please do not PM me. I am not interested in discussing these punishments further.

 

[Collette]

everyone is roasting me by reacting to a mod's post who doesn't even know me and is encouraging the censorship of gay people like......... do you guys even realize that this website and pokemon showdown is years behind in the way that minority groups are treated on it lmao.

also inb4 "ratio" because i know. this is the saddest ratio i have ever felt.

bro can you just dm her i get notifications for this thread.

 

[kacieisokay]

Okay, deleted my other posts and I'm just going to make one last post because I'd just like to say: I'm a big veteran LGBT person over here. I'm bisexual, I've been out for about 6 years now, and very openly so. I just want to make a few notes that I really hope the people on this forum see, because they've come up a lot with some people in this community and it's important to say.

1. SEXUALITY IS NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL. I know, it's a weird thing to say because the word sex is LITERALLY right at the beginning, but it's true. I mean, sexuality is such an important part of our lives, of our experiences, and it's also an important part of the natural world. Homosexuality, bisexuality, all of that exists out in nature to. You aren't sexualizing people just by discussing the idea of sexuality. You're sexualizing them if you turn that into a discussion about them having sex. Talking about your experiences as a person or your identity is not sexual.
2. YOUR IDENTITY IS NOT POLITICAL. There are many political issues revolving around LGBT issues, and that's just a part of the world, but your existence is not made political. Talking about these things is not political because, once again, it's just who you are. If a straight friend was talking about someone they were interested in, or how they identify with a straight character in media, would you call that political? No. Because it's not. Being LGBT is not political.
3. IT'S A SPECTRUM. All of it. There are no two experiences out there that are the same, even if you may have the same label. Experiences of people across the LGBT world will always vary, and that's okay! The way two bisexual people experience being bisexual might be very different, and that's okay! You're still valid. Identity, after all, is just a way to describe you. That's what's most important.
4. HIDING SUCKS. Being out isn't always safe, and sometimes, you just can't be out, and that's okay. But do know that if you are in a position where you can choose to spend time with people you can be out around, and people that you can't, it's almost always better to be out. Coming out was rough for me, and I lived in a pretty progressive area, but it still really does tell you who the people are that you can really be yourself around.
5. IT'S STILL OKAY TO MAKE GAY JOKES. Please......... Do not take away my gay jokes from me.
6. AND FINALLY, RESPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT. I don't know what else to say. When I saw Adam on Sex Education, I cried. When I saw Callie on Greys Anatomy, I cried. Feeling seen and feeling validated is important, and don't let people take that from you.

Okay sorry anyone I annoyed, here's some real LGBT stuff. Support your local LGBT organizations, and help the community when you can, and if you're able!

 

[Tenshi]

1. SEXUALITY IS NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL. I know, it's a weird thing to say because the word sex is LITERALLY right at the beginning, but it's true. I mean, sexuality is such an important part of our lives, of our experiences, and it's also an important part of the natural world. Homosexuality, bisexuality, all of that exists out in nature to. You aren't sexualizing people just by discussing the idea of sexuality. You're sexualizing them if you turn that into a discussion about them having sex. Talking about your experiences as a person or your identity is not sexual.

I feel like this is fairly obvious but its extremely important to make note of this. As a future educator who's a big advocate of teaching lgbt subjects in primary school, it's important for people(primarily parents) to realize it isn't sex ed. Sex ed is sexual, being lgbt isnt a kink it isn't inherently sexual. Kids especially could benefit a lot from being exposed to these conversations and topics because thats the age where prejudice really starts to take form which is a big reason why middle and highschool(and later elementary for that matter) bullying against lgbt is so much more common. Unfortunately in the US, the parents are a huge obstacle for our schools implementing such a program but it's imo a necessary one.

 

[banks]

I’m just going to post here, since I don’t want to unload my grievances onto my friends.

Hide

I was identified as intersex after birth. What this means is that any and all conversation about you as a person, even as a child, is preluded with the question of your genitalia, even by teachers, as well as the: ‘so what actually are you?’ My parents and the doctors agreed it would be best to fit me into the ‘male binary’ going forth. What people don’t know about intersex individuals is that the sweeping majority of it is internal: chromosomes, reproductive anatomy, hormones. And those are just the scientific aspects. What my parents were perhaps blindly hoping for was that I would grow into a generic boy and enjoy boyish things and so on. Maybe the bells started to ring when I would go to the supermarket with my grandmother, wearing her high heels and carrying a handbag. It’s amusing in retrospect, but, to claim that children—regardless of age—are incapable of identifying that otherness inside them, that separates them from their peers, is a hopeless endeavour. To quote Lana Wachowski, a transgender director, who eloquently articulates what I am unable to:

‘I want to play Four Square with the girls but now I’m one of them -- I’m one of the boys. Early on I am told to get in line after a morning bell, girls in one line, boys in another. I walk past the girls feeling this strange, powerful gravity of association. Yet some part of me knows I have to keep walking. As soon as I look towards the other line, though, I feel a feeling of differentiation that confuses me. I don’t belong there, either.’

Notwithstanding the inward anxiety and confusion I felt from an age too young to be ever felt, physical changes also began to arise. I won’t get into specifics, but certain changes that are viewed as intrinsic to women began to manifest (and, by the way, experiencing pubescent changes that generally occur in the opposite sex can happen to anyone, which people don’t seem to be fully aware of). This led to some further clinical meetings regarding my hormones and how they should be corrected, which, really, I guess was my main issue at that age. The desperate yearning from everyone around me to be corrected.

I came from a primary school where ‘gay’ was used pervasively, and where you could be anything except ‘gay’; the only problem was that I was the person stamped as ‘gay’ so that no one else had to be. Around the age of twelve was the transition period to high school, where the inescapable doubt of self follows everyone. Unfortunately, this confrontation of identity hits harder for certain people. For some, it’s a declaration of power and security, which was predominantly achieved through violence and hate, and for some, it’s the sinking realisation that your current self, your current body and how you’re perceived by others, is not sustainable to live in. This realisation is near universal among queer youth, and especially in my area — suburbs wedged in rural landscapes, where every school is catholic and everyone white and married with kids. It was around this time I retreated into silence and self-hate more than ever, and also when I tried my best to appear as feminine as possible.

Looking back, what really annoys me the most is the fact that the discernible changes my body underwent was the justification used to get me on hormone therapy. What I described in the paragraph above, in some way, particularly the revelation, is relatable to any transgender or non-binary or queer person. I only happened to be born slightly different to the majority of the population, and a lot of intersex individuals don’t realise they are intersex until adulthood, so it’s nonsensical to deny someone the ability to live as their truth. Now obviously I’m not saying we should go about giving 5-year-olds hormone therapy, since I’m sure some anti-intellect reactionaries will interpret it that way, but just because you don’t relate doesn’t mean you can’t empathise. We should also open the doors to give cis people the chance to talk about gender without labelling them as gender-nonconforming, because, really, these suffocating norms hurt everyone.

I’m going to stop here because I don’t want to come across as overly mawkish or self-pitying, which I’ve probably failed at. There’s no real tl;dr, this just felt cathartic to write. I hope anyone who reads this who can relate or is currently going through a period of distress finds inward peace.

 

[Gerard]

yo everyone i am gay ((homosexual))

i thought that i was bi for a long while before realising that in the long term, i only really thought about ending up with a guy. sexuality is weird and hard to define, some days i find myself surprisingly inclined towards women but i've finally decided to say fuck it and embrace the term gay
i'm a pretty reserved dude, some of my discord friends in the 1v1 community know but i'm tryna be more open with it irl so this is practice for when I eventually get around to doing that. s/o to literally all of you guys for being lovely people in general

its fun reading through this thread and seeing peoples stories. im a good listener if anyone wants to vent or chat about similar experiences, pretty active on discord (tag in my profile)

take the rainbow road

now give me smogon likes!

You could be a homoromantic bisexual and that's perfectly valid friend, labels shouldn't tie you down :)

 

[TheValkyries]

You could be a homoromantic bisexual and that's perfectly valid friend, labels shouldn't tie you down :)

You literally just gave him a pair of labels what do you mean 'labels shouldn't tie you down'.

If someone tells you they are gay and talks about their nuanced experiences with their own sexuality, just as a rule, you should try not to correct their conclusion or whatever the fuck and try to vivisect their identity like a weirdo scientist.

 

[Gerard]

I'm not trying to label them, as I said that's something they could be, just like they could be gay which is perfectly fine. Many people center on just one part of their sexual identity and don't even realize there's a whole spectrum of things to explore, It's the whole point of the LGBT+ community, so I don't see how spreading knowledge a bit would be "vivisecting their identity" specially since it's not like I'm imposing anything, as I said, if they want to say they're gay and only have relationships and sex with other men that's ok, if they want to call themselves gay and have relationships with men but bang some women on the side that's also fine (as long as nobody is being lied to), but to just shut down a part of their sexuality due to the expectations of others I think it's contrary to the community.

 

[Lily]

This is more of a quick life update that people probably won't care about than anything else, but I'm feeling happy about it so I feel like writing about it here.

For those who don't know, in October 2020 I started attending university (studying Game Design if anyone's curious), and since then I had intended to actually come out properly so that I could be addressed correctly by other students and professors, ideally. Of course, COVID impacted me just as much as it probably did anyone else, so my time in university began (and currently remains) online. This means I have not met anyone face-to-face, and for the most part, my lessons are over Discord... which in a lot of ways is good and convenient, but in others not exactly because I had to register for university under my legal name (which is my dead name currently). It also meant that I originally passed as a cis girl to my classmates since my name on Discord is just Lily.

In reality I probably could've kept this going for a lot longer than I did but I didn't feel like that was a good idea because, whenever I do end up going on campus, my classmates would probably end up very confused. This gave me two options: suck it up and go by my dead name, or come out to them. And to my own shock, I managed to do the latter - something I had never been able to do fully before (some people knew when I was in high school and it ended up being public knowledge towards the end anyway but let's just say that wasn't my doing). I also told my at-the-time professors and two of the three were very accommodating, one less so but I've since sorted that out anyway. My classmates have been wonderful and accepting; I've never once felt like they're treating me differently or whatever, and maybe that'll change when we go on campus, but for now I'm hopeful.

The reason I'm making this post today is because, like I said earlier, I had to register for university under my dead name. This means that whenever my professors pull the class list for whatever reason - usually putting us into groups, since team work is obviously extremely common in the games industry - my dead name ends up showing there and they have to manually correct it, which they're kind enough to do. Sometimes they forgot at first, but it's nothing they haven't corrected after. However, with the start of the new semester, I got some new professors and they were unaware of my situation, they didn't correct my name on a groups list and it was very confusing for my teammates who didn't know who I was - after all, there's nobody going by my dead name in my school's Discord server, so as far as they're concerned that person just doesn't exist. I was obviously a bit upset by this and ranted a little bit in our class's private server, and my class rep happened to notice and shot me a DM.

She ended up contacting a person from the Department of Welfare and Equality. and shortly after received an email giving me instructions on who to talk to if I want to get my name and identity changed on the university's systems. I had already tried to do this earlier in the year and while they were sympathetic, I was pretty much told "sorry, nothing we can do until you change your name legally". This method seems to be more directly geared towards trans people and apparently has worked for others in the past. I'm super excited about it & honestly really nervous too because like, while I've been "semi-out" for going on 7 years now, I've never been completely able to be myself until now. It's somehow both exhilarating and terrifying.

So yeah, name update is finally (hopefully) happening and I'll be going by Lily just about everywhere at that point! The person I emailed to get this done is yet to reply to me, but I'll maybe post an update once they do. I don't really know what compelled me to make this post, maybe just the fact that I'm excited for the future, or maybe just because I wanted to let other people in similar situations know that things will eventually fall into place & that you don't need to worry as much as I did. I'm really thankful that I've found myself in such a wonderful group of accepting & supportive people & I really can't wait to see what the future of my studies and career holds. Thank you for reading & have a good day. :3

 

[Tenshi]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1356537032777101319

(read whole thread)
https://news.yahoo.com/erdogan-slams-lgbt-students-protests-100056441.html

Not an update but I'd like to bring attention to what's going on in Turkey and remind that anti-LGBT belief systems are still very much in power especially in the west Asian, Middle Eastern, and African countries where it's still illegal(Morocco can jail you for -suspected- homosexuality, that can be 4 years in prison if you survive that long.) Even in Latin America it is constitutionally banned in some countries(Venezuela, Bolivia, Guyana, and Paraguay)

While we have so much more growth we need in the US I am very glad I can say despite living in a rural southern area, the threat against my life is very low compared to being gay in many other countries in modern day. This is still a very modern and atrocious fact of life that our rights are barely existent, Poland banned gays in 1/3rd of the country in 2019 which was just 2 years ago.

We need to fight for all LGBT people, as easy as it is to get caught up in the all-engrossing all-about-me US politics, it's pretty fucking sad that we have more rights than a lot of other countries in the world but the LGBT members who have to live in fear that if their identity gets out into the wrong person's hands(even their own family) they can be threatened with abandonment, years of jail time, or even death through strangers or family(idt you need me to tell you how fucked honor killings are).

No real goal writing this besides trying to spread more awareness, it's very easy to get distracted with nearby issues but so many LGBT people have been ignored when many are in situations where their entire life is at jeopardy simply because they don't fit what their culture says they should be. It's only going to get worse if it isn't constantly brought into the spotlight, culture doesn't change on its own and this isn't really something small enough scale that individual people can risk their life to change on their own.

 

[Ka1xo]

so this is gonna be very unexpected from the people that aren't close to me whether that be irl or my online friends but ive been indifferent about who i am and what i choose to identify as for about like 1-2 years now ish? its always been a reoccuring thought in the back of my head but ive just brushed it off and chosen to focus on what i thought was more important stuff but in reality although it wasnt rlly visible if you know me personally i was always considering it and always thinking about it every so often but never really showed it to anyone, but im identifying as non-binary from now on or for short enby, it makes me feel a lot more comfortable being this gender and it makes me feel a lot better emotionally and mentally, although im still in the indecisive grey area about my sexuality i know for certain that im non binary, i just thought id come here and open up so i can be one with myself and who i choose to be, it'll be a long while before i tell my parents though and im honestly scared to do so but i hope itll get more easier as time goes on, thank you all <3

 

[gvmgvm40]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1356537032777101319

(read whole thread)
https://news.yahoo.com/erdogan-slams-lgbt-students-protests-100056441.html

Not an update but I'd like to bring attention to what's going on in Turkey and remind that anti-LGBT belief systems are still very much in power especially in the west Asian, Middle Eastern, and African countries where it's still illegal(Morocco can jail you for -suspected- homosexuality, that can be 4 years in prison if you survive that long.) Even in Latin America it is constitutionally banned in some countries(Venezuela, Bolivia, Guyana, and Paraguay)

While we have so much more growth we need in the US I am very glad I can say despite living in a rural southern area, the threat against my life is very low compared to being gay in many other countries in modern day. This is still a very modern and atrocious fact of life that our rights are barely existent, Poland banned gays in 1/3rd of the country in 2019 which was just 2 years ago.

We need to fight for all LGBT people, as easy as it is to get caught up in the all-engrossing all-about-me US politics, it's pretty fucking sad that we have more rights than a lot of other countries in the world but the LGBT members who have to live in fear that if their identity gets out into the wrong person's hands(even their own family) they can be threatened with abandonment, years of jail time, or even death through strangers or family(idt you need me to tell you how fucked honor killings are).

No real goal writing this besides trying to spread more awareness, it's very easy to get distracted with nearby issues but so many LGBT people have been ignored when many are in situations where their entire life is at jeopardy simply because they don't fit what their culture says they should be. It's only going to get worse if it isn't constantly brought into the spotlight, culture doesn't change on its own and this isn't really something small enough scale that individual people can risk their life to change on their own.

I've been following this. Bogazici is my alma mater, and I have several friends who are still there. About 200 people were detained in the last 3 days, but protests are still continuing. It's sad to see it and be on the other side of the world and not be able to do anything.

 

[emma]

I came out to my High School Chemistry Teacher who I am still close with

 

[Unicorns]

To commemorate my 100th post on Smogon (I want that name change), I wanted to out myself as trans.

For nearly ten years, from like even pre-high school until several months ago, I knew something was up. I knew that my body just didn't match up with the person I wanted to be. I eventually stumbled upon the topic of trans people after reading about different surgeries (I was a weird kid and wanted to be a surgeon growing up). Maybe subconsciously, I thought that being trans could be a possibility and could be the reason for my feelings.

I just started reading. I used to read the Wikipedia page for 'Transgender' and wish that woman was me. I used to read up on every intersex condition, hoping that I'd fit one of the criteria. That way I'd have some validating reason for my own feelings about myself. I used to read about gender confirmation surgery, maybe as a means for telling myself the future was a possibility.

I never really let these feelings come to the forefront though and I never talked to anyone about it or did anything. I think I had this underlying fear that maybe my loved ones would reject and abandon me. I thought that I'd be able to keep those feelings locked away forever. I don't think I ever allowed myself to have an emotional breakthrough. I'd have these recurrent depressive episodes that I just couldn't explain. I just kept all these feelings repressed and thought that I'd never need to do anything about them.

That is until last December when I was working in an emergency department (the A+E, for our colonial friends). The patient was a transman that had attempted to kill himself after coming out as trans and his parents rejecting him. The attending doctor I was with was had been a family friend for many years. The doc was talking outside the room about how hard it can be for trans people. He wrote in the nursing notes to use male pronouns for the patient. Something in me just completely cracked. Maybe it was my subconscious trying to say "you can be who you want and be accepted". (As an aside, the patient ended up fine and had a short stay in a voluntary psych unit. I'm now friends with him on Facebook, even if he doesn't remember who I am. Everything is looking so bright for him.)

I eventually got off work and had an emotional breakdown in my car. All these thoughts and memories came pouring out of my subconscious. Memories I didn't even mention; even some of my earliest thoughts were wanting to be a girl. Kind of as a way to reaffirm myself, I looked up these amazing transformations on r/transtimelines. Stuff like r/egg_irl became too real. I had many more emotional breakdowns and eventually came out to my family. They loved and supported me (though one set of grandparents may be a different story). The first person I actually came out to was a certain favorite person on PS (she likely knows who she is). I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood and got started on hormones two months later.

One day this past May, I had a rare lunch break and decided to go on a walk through this park near the hospital. The sun was shining, there was this flowing creek, and everything was so serene. Everything was just so comfortable and something about it confirmed "everything is going to be okay". Everything is looking up.

Tl;dr I'm trans as shit

Hi all,

I just wanted to make an update/reflection post. This might kind of melt into a venting or depression post so feel free to just skip around. My brain is fried rn from studying and it's like 1 AM when I'm writing this, so this is probs scattered af. It gets super sappy too, so be warned. I'll give a content warning though regarding depressive thoughts with suicidal ideations, and attempted suicide (not me).

Spoiler

On February 20th, 2019, I started taking estradiol and spironolactone. It's been exactly two years. I had my yearly follow-up appointment two days ago, and I got moved up to max dose estradiol (I didn't know they go up to 8 mg daily!), as well as started progesterone. It's made me reflect on where I've been over the past two years and what's happened; what's changed. I've been through a lot over the past two years. Things have been pretty damn rough, but it's been worth every single moment.

Prior to my egg cracking and me starting hormones, nothing was real; to me at least. I remember once off-roading out into the desert once and flipping my car onto it's side. It just... didn't even register with me that I could have died. I got in another car accident the next year, this time due to icy conditions. My car slipped literally in between traffic headed in the opposite way at 70 mph. I probably would have died, but I just... didn't care. Just... nothing mattered. I wanted to get to the end as fast as possible. I didn't make any friends; I didn't do anything; I didn't have interests. I just wanted things to end.

I wasn't outwardly depressed, but I didn't share anything with anyone. If I did try to open up, I'd risk showing somebody this thing about myself I couldn't let them know. I was already in a fragile and ostracized position; I didn't want to make it even worse. But I couldn't bring myself to continue existing. Just as ancient Sicilian sailors found themselves trapped between the wind-tattered cliffs of Scylla and the raging whirlpool of Charybdis, an impasse had been reached. There was no continuing. Everything just... stopped.

I didn't do anything for a year and a half. I worked and stuff; just... nothing happened. I hid away a whole lot.

Things really sucked.

I feel really sorry for my past self. She was a super anxious closeted trans girl. She had a lot of issues going on and she couldn't tell anyone about it. She couldn't tell people who she was or who she wanted to be. She was really scared and wanted things to end. She felt like the world was better off without her and she didn't deserve to be there. She felt like she couldn't trust telling anyone about this part of her. Nothing mattered to her. I'm really proud of her though.

Like I mentioned in the other post, a transgender man was brought in to the emergency department after attempting to kill himself back in December 2018. He attempted suicide about a week after he was kicked out of his parent's house for being transgender. The doc I was working with had a medical student with him that evening and they both discussed the man with the utmost respect. I was listening in and I felt like I'd be accepted, for the first time in my life. I didn't really know how to process it. I left work that night, went home, and thought; a lot. This thought that I could be accepted just kept running through my mind. It just kept going and going.

The next week, I was working with a different emergency room doc that was treating another transgender patient for something unrelated. Outside of the room, away from the ear-shot of the patient, THAT doctor began talking shit about the patient being transgender. He said all sorts of bigoted shit about transgender people. I felt viscerally offended by the shit this doctor was saying. Like this is a doctor treating a human being like they're sub-human? Go fuck yourself. The nurses nor the mid-level said anything. They weren't saying they agreed with him, but they weren't saying he was wrong. I wasn't exactly one to be able to immediately speak my mind in an organized fashion (kinda goes hand-in-hand with suffering from anxiety), so I didn't say anything. I went home really angry that day, but I started looking up transgender resources.

I learned about informed consent clinics and Planned Parenthood (absolutely amazing place, please go there if you can). I learned about how long it takes hormones to take effect. I had r/transtimelines bookmarked (I didn't actually believe I could look like them one day, but somehow, just maybe, I hoped I could). My first free day happened to be either Christmas Eve or the day before Christmas Eve, but I went in to Planned Parenthood to make a consultation appointment. The receptionist there was actually the first person I ever told I was "seeking LGBTQ resources" (dude I was so scared lmao). I had a consultation in January to make sure this was right. I had another appointment in February to get blood work done. I got started on hormones a week later, yada yada yada, and here we are.

Before I start the next section, I wanted to give some advice. If you ever feel like something is just "not right" or "the way it's supposed to be", please talk to somebody. It can be your identity, your body, your gender, your sexuality, stuff going on in your head, your depression, your anxieties, your fears, your future, your hopes and dreams. Just anything. It's okay to cry. Just try to be as honest as you feel comfortable; it's okay to trust people. It can be a friend, a family member, a therapist, a random counselor; just anybody that's willing to listen and accept you for who you are. Things can be better. The one thing that I wish I could go back and do when I was younger is to force myself to talk to just some person that's willing to listen about things going on in my head. You are worth it. You can be accepted.

The past two years have been one hell of a journey. I've come out to family. I've come out to friends. I've come out to co-workers. I've come out to strangers. I've been accepted. I've been rejected. I've had my first boyfriend. I've had my first break-up. I've cried. I've been depressed. I've laughed a lot. I've smiled. I've connected with people. I've learned. I've been able to give advice to other people. I've been able to accept advice from other people. I've been able to see things from others perspectives. I've learned things about myself (like how anxious I am lol). I've made my first friends. I've made my first best friends. I've made my first friend groups. I've traveled out of the country. I've traveled across the country. I've gone out and done things on my own. I hiked up a mountain (which was really cool). I attended Seattle Pride (which was really super unbelievably cool). I've started liking things. I've started trying things (things can be really awesome!). I did really well in a class I worked really hard in. I've started nursing school. I have plans for the future. I've met my first girlfriend (she's so great and I really love her).

I've grown up a lot in the past two years. This time has shown me that things in life are capable of being really good. I've been through a lot, but I'm excited for what's going to happen next.

I really want to thank the Smogon LGBTQ crew, PokéPride, and just everyone for everything they've done. You guys are so fantastic and have helped me feel like I can be accepted as a part of a community. Also shout-outs to the Krooks. You guys are so gay and awesome. Have a good day all! You guys are great!

Tl;dr: affordable health care saves lives; access to hormones saves lives; create accepting environments; listen to people and please talk to people. You matter.

 

[brightobject]

Does anyone have advice on buying wigs? What kinds are simplest to maintain / wear for beginners, where to look, measurements... (?) Been thinking about it for a while now but haven't done it mostly just due to being a cheapskate.

 

[Tramuntana]

Enjoying my delayed birthday gift in a lovely Zelda crossplay dress!

 

[Tramuntana]

Does anyone have advice on buying wigs? What kinds are simplest to maintain / wear for beginners, where to look, measurements... (?) Been thinking about it for a while now but haven't done it mostly just due to being a cheapskate.

Honestly I recommend just getting cheap wigs with decent quality, and replacing them every few months. Good wigs are FAR too expensive and don't hold up too much longer anyway.

 

[wind]

Not an update but I'd like to bring attention to what's going on in Turkey and remind that anti-LGBT belief systems are still very much in power especially in the west Asian, Middle Eastern, and African countries where it's still illegal(Morocco can jail you for -suspected- homosexuality, that can be 4 years in prison if you survive that long.) Even in Latin America it is constitutionally banned in some countries(Venezuela, Bolivia, Guyana, and Paraguay)

Nice information and all but im from Venezuela and i didnt knew this lmao, now im feeling quite dumb

Sooo thanks?

 

[Denial]

Was a bit scared of posting this for some reasons but im feeling good now. Not gonna write any wall of text, just here to say i prefer she/her pronounce and to call me Luna from now. Luna is unfortunately alredy taken on smogon so ill have to work the nick a bit before changing it, if you have any suggestion pm me on cord Luna#6181 ty :)
edit: as you can see we figured it out, thanks everyone so far for the support :)

edit edit: i decided to detransition, thanks to everyone that was close to me and supported me <3

 

[Milak]

snip

Fucking proud of you

 

[Aurella]

Was a bit scared of posting this for some reasons but im feeling good now. Not gonna write any wall of text, just here to say i prefer she/her pronounce and to call me Luna from now. Luna is unfortunately alredy taken on smogon so ill have to work the nick a bit before changing it, if you have any suggestion pm me on cord Luna#2345 ty :) ( yeah, its also taken on cord so i have to use the emoji :( ) (looks like smogon doesnt include emojis, ill figure something out later ups) reedit: ill just include an image of my tag, im also on smogtours if you wanna find me somewhere in public

tag

View attachment 323028

Stan Luna

 

[talah]

only using they/them now!!

 

[lydian]

hiya :) been meaning to post here for a little while and i'm having some trouble sleeping so i think it'd be nice to get this off my chest with more of my smogon friends

long story:

long story (it's very very long, feel free to skip around, or skip reading this entirely if you so choose, i don't mind it at all)

backstory: sooo, i've always felt very disconnected with the whole concept of dating and, i guess, um, sex? society being very amatonormative [1] and allonormative [2] always made me struggle to fit in, and made me think i was broken because i never could connect with the concept of, ya know, doing allosexual things... of course, as a kid i forced myself into a few situations i didn't want to be in, such as going out on parties or drinking mostly in the hopes to end up with someone (which of course, never panned out), kissing a girl i very clearly didn't want to, and lying about my romantic and sexual experiences (or lack thereof) to blend in more with my peers, et cetera. and i would always feel very deeply sad, and worthless, it didn't help i didn't have many (if any) friends, for a lot of my adolescence, and while things never got too horrible, i still never was proud or happy with my lack of involvement in romantic and sexual activities compared to my friends.

flash forward a few years, a bit over an year ago, to be exact, and i see this video from anthony padilla, on his wonderful "i spent a day with" series [3] wherein he interviews and talks with asexual people. it was awesome seeing their community and i felt a lot of compassion, but i definitely didn't think i was one of them at all. you see, as a kid i've always desired doing allo things and being with other people and all of that, so clearly i couldn't be ace ("boy was i wrong")! but i still kept that term in the back of my head... just in case...

later that same year of 2020, when i returned to my hometown, i started to reconnect my friendship w my stepbrother, who happens to be trans, as well as getting closer to many smogon friends who fall under the lgbtq+ umbrella. wanting to be a good ally for them, i started doing more and more research on lgbtq+ terms, and watching videos talking of such topics. and eventually, now in 2021, there came a day when i remembered that "asexual" term i pinned somewhere in my brain an year ago. i started to rethink how much i "didn't really fit in", as i thought when i first watched anthony padilla's video.

a sexual story: i winded up on reddit's r/asexuality [4] and i was starting to get more comfortable with picturing myself as ace. and then, i stumbled upon a part of their faq, with statements of allosexuals describing sexual attraction, and i was shocked. i realised that simply looking at someone and thinking "hmm, i guess they're kinda hot?" wasn't really sexual attraction, i had no idea. it became as clear as day i was asexual, i never in my life had sexual thoughts about, well, anyone! so that's how i got my first identity, i was a cis, heteroromantic asexual, or so i thought?

a tall task, but not a tall story: i was very happy with my discovery, it took some courage, but i ended up coming out to my stepbrother, whom i knew would be completely accepting, but it was still very hard to work up the courage to do it, in the end, i came out, he was incredibly supportive and accepting, we went on to talk for hours, and watch a movie together! i don't have a plan to come out to anyone else irl, anytime soon, mostly because i am quite cishet passing, and it would be quite the headache to do so, but i did really enjoy this experience. it was one of the happiest days i've ever had :)

a romantic story: after a while, i started to consider more where exactly i lied on the (a)romantic side of things. i kind of left it out of the picture at first, because getting used to one label was already a lot, so i at least wanted to wait some more before considering a second one. i recall having what i thought was a crush as a kid, and at least being more interested in the idea of having a relationship (at least compared to my interest in having sex), so i was skeptic of me being aromantic, but i kept doing research nonetheless.

i eventually concluded that what i thought was a crush was probably what is referred in the aromantic community as a squish [5]. i didn't really wanted to date her, it was more of "i just wanna be close to you :)" thing, in what i now see as a very non-romantic way. but of course, society and myself projected romanticism into that, because if there's one thing society is great at is projecting heterosexuality onto people! after realising what a squish was, i realised it was something that actually did happen time and time again. i remember very starkly in primary school very strongly wanting to be friends with this one kid for a reason i could not comprehend, and i guess now i know!

of course, figuring out you're asexual, and especially aromantic, especially to me, has been very hard. as i am not sex repulsed, nor love repulsed (in fact, i think i'd love to try them someday, i'm just not attracted to anyone in that way!), it was extremely difficult to identify these labels. finding the lack of something is very hard, i'll share below the screenshot of a post i found in the asexual discord, which encompasses my feelings much better than i could ever put into words:

screenshot of a post about aro- and ace-ness

a gender story: last and not least, is my story with figuring out i'm agender. looking back there have always been a few red flags, that i can notice now... such as very rarely identifying or relating with any male characters in media, and always opting for an anthropomorphic creature to relate to instead, such as yoshi, bowser jr., dry bones, kirby, meta knight, and the hundreds of pokémon. i never really found myself very connected, if connected at all, to "the boys" for several reasons. i've always hated male gender roles, and i've always naturally deviated from them as much as i could. and not to go into detail, there are a few masculine-associated things that i don't super like about my body, but i could be cis and still have all of those. but to put it simply i just didn't really, feel, like a male. i've never even had the room to question wether i saw myself as male or not, so i never had to ask my brain the question of how i see my gender, but after 19 years of existing, when i finally gave myself the chance to ask, my brain seemed to give a very resounding "no"!

now, you might be wondering what prompted me to think about this, but now that i knew i was aroace, i started to consider more the role that my gender (or lack thereof) plays within my identity, here's a comic by sallyvinter [6] that explains my thoughts in a very concise manner:

aces wild comic by sallyvinter

now, of course, not all ace people see themselves this way, as they should! but this is just how it felt for me in particular, and what prompted this question for me to figure what was my gender, or if i even felt like i had one.

one last paragraph i wanna write about agenderness, is that, while i do see my gender identity as agender, i still think my gender expression is relatively male oriented and will continue to be. it's very hard to express the lack of something, especially gender, and while many agender people resort to androgyny, which is completely fine and beautiful if i say so myself, it's not something that speaks to me. i find myself very comfortable with whom i am, as, inside my head, i don't see my gender expression as particularly male, even though i know it externally looks like such. i find myself happy in conforming with how i've always looked and wanted to look like, and very used to he/him pronouns as well, so i don't plan on changing those, at least for now. it's important to add as well, that my native language is portuguese, which is a gendered language, and has no neutral options, so i'll have to settle with male pronouns, at least until gender neutral language is optimised and starts catching on, which will take a long while... and even then, i'm happy with male pronouns because it's how it's always has been for me. so yeah, probably gonna present in a way that most of society would see as male still, perhaps with only a few changes to make me more comfortable in my own skin, but that does not undermine my agenderness, not even a little bit!

long story short: i'm agender, aromantic, and asexual, they/them and he/him pronouns are both awesome! i have a very slight preference for they/them, but nothing much. nothing else will change, and i'll stay being the same lydian as always. thank you very much for reading, no matter how much of this novel you read, i appreciate the supportiveness of my closer friends on smogon these last few months while i figured out more and more about myself :) love you all <3