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Social LGBTQIA+

All my life I've always felt like a weird human being, all of my habits were a bit unorthodox and I've always pondered on why so. In recent years something I've thought about in specific is just me and how I felt about being a male and it not being something suited for me. 1-2 years ago i was hanging out with friends and specifically female friends and felt some kind of connection when they were talking about theirselves, i didnt think much of it though, move to like 5 months ago or so i was staring into space and thinking about someone I lost while listening to a song that spoke of the true heart and started having dreams of a mixture of both and made me feel misplaced.

After about a month of thinking about it, interacting with some lgbtq+ friends and reading the thread on smogon, i decided i wasnt happy with my current gender identity or such and thought back to myself that maybe i fit female more and i started doing more female associated things and felt a vibe and then one day someone called me she irl after knowing of my troubles and it vibed with me so i decided then that this was the right path. After a few months at that state though, I wasn't feeling fully fulfilled with myself as much as the first few days or so with that identity. I also started reminiscing of someone I knew in the past that I've long lost and how they were one of the few people I was more sociable towards and that stirred up a lot of feelings in me, mostly making me more depressed as usual. After thinking about it once more I started exploring being non-binary and talked to a few irl friends that identified as such.

After talking to them and thinking some more, I thought that non-binary might suit me best, I've never felt a particular attachment to either gender, and even when I was younger I always thought so. I will most likely have to keep my old identification the same irl due to this country not being very friendly to lgbtq folks so I'm more or less open to any pronouns. I haven't really been able to interact with much humans due to covid, as socially introverted as I am I do miss conjugating with some of my friends physically, and hence haven't really been able to find anyone I love in particular irl but hey hope is covid ends sooner rather than later.

tl;dr I identify as non-binary and don't really mind any pronoun.

Cenane faded love Yami Avery Kate omi ♥️ Solaros & Lunaris Plague von Karma Ainzcrad and whoever else, no matter how long I've known any of you or how much I've talked to any of you, you've been great friends to me. idk what I would've done during lockdown and being in seldom a lot, but talking to any of you always brought something to me. Im pretty socially introverted so getting the chance to talk to any of u is a great opportunity for me and I'm grateful.
 
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hello,

i don't really use the forums much anymore and i'm not really sure how many people will see this but i'd like to discuss something. for the past few years i've used she/they pronouns. feel like queer is just the best umbrella to describe myself. anyway, moving forward i'd appreciate for others to refer to me with gender neutral pronouns (they/them). i still do identify with she/they, but i feel that neutral pronouns feel correct for the time being and i'd like that to be reflected in my interactions here. thank you so much.

hope everyone is doing well, and having a great day. :heart:
 
i didn’t really want to post this but i just need to let something out.

i’m so sick and tired of living in a world with so much hatred towards me simply because of who i’m attracted to. for context, yesterday i was at the beach on a date with this guy that i really like. we’re just minding our own business like cuddling when this group of 4 guys come up to us and start cursing us and calling us the f slur and all of that. and now today after an argument my dad goes “its all because youre a stupid fucking f slur”. and i just sat there unphazed like it was normal. and because it is. this happens so often to me that its almost a daily occurrence especially with my family who still tries to set me up with girls even though ive told them a million fucking times that im gay.

and idk what i’m trying to say but i just want to live my life being able to love who i love without being consistently judged and harassed for it. all i’m asking is to be treated like a normal guy who is simply attracted to guys but at this point, even in the middle of deep blue new jersey, i don’t see see that ever happening
 
Sensei Axew said:
i didn’t really want to post this but i just need to let something out.

i’m so sick and tired of living in a world with so much hatred towards me simply because of who i’m attracted to. for context, yesterday i was at the beach on a date with this guy that i really like. we’re just minding our own business like cuddling when this group of 4 guys come up to us and start cursing us and calling us the f slur and all of that. and now today after an argument my dad goes “its all because youre a stupid fucking f slur”. and i just sat there unphazed like it was normal. and because it is. this happens so often to me that its almost a daily occurrence especially with my family who still tries to set me up with girls even though ive told them a million fucking times that im gay.

and idk what i’m trying to say but i just want to live my life being able to love who i love without being consistently judged and harassed for it. all i’m asking is to be treated like a normal guy who is simply attracted to guys but at this point, even in the middle of deep blue new jersey, i don’t see see that ever happening
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Not a solution I would recommend to everyone, or really advocate in general, but anecdotally I've removed the toxic Trumpers in my family out of my life and I'm much happier for it. This is mostly my mother's side, and while I do miss them to a degree, because it's not like they're inherently bad people or abusive, having had not interacted with them since the start of Covid I can say with confidence I feel way better off having not seen them than when I would see them for every holiday and events normally. My boyfriend can say the same, which primarily includes his dad. Not sure how much I'll see them once Covid is "over," but I have a feeling it'll be far less than previously. I've given up on just "dealing" with people.

Anyway I guess my rambling is, if possible, just removing yourself from people in your life that cause you stress is an option, even if family.

Nothing we can really do about assholes on the street/beach tho
 
So today my grandad was talking to me about how I should start looking to get married and preparing for kids (I'm about to turn twenty, calm down), so I tried to explain to him what being aromantic is, since this isn't really ever a topic I've broached with him, or anyone in my family for that matter. For context, he is very strongly right wing, and believes that any sort of LGBTQ+ portrayal in the media means that it's "the media forcing their 'diversity agenda' down our throats" or some shit. To make a long story short, he doesn't believe that aromanticism is a real thing, and that I'm "too young to know what I want" and that "one day I'll want children". Needless to say, I'm a little bit annoyed.

Just want to take this opportunity to tell everyone that you matter. Your experiences matter, your identity matters, who you love and how you choose to love them matters and nobody gets to tell you otherwise.
 
Hey y'all, I am just here to say, as a Trans woman and a Lesbian, to everyone having issues, or anything related: You are so fucking valid. Don't matter if you're gay, trans, ace, or whatever the fuck you are. Be who you wanna be. Be happy, your happiness matters more then everything. Love you all. And if you are having some kind of issue; don't worry. Be strong and pull through it, because I know you can.
 
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I'm Bi, been so for about 2 years now (and also have been using my pronouns as they/them). Not something that I really care about myself but it's help me find a self identity through stressful times and allow me to be truly myself, and I hope whatever preference you guys have can help y'all live your lives to the fullest just like it has for me.
 
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i have couple of online freinds who are gay , the prob is that we all live in china , i have the chance to live in Macao so there is less danger but most of them live in ultra anti LGBT regions like Inner Mongolia or the Shanghai area

FrenchGaudi said:
Finalement l'OMS (Mondial Organization of safe and healty?) reconnait qu'etre transsexuel n'est pas une maladie!

I'm so happy.
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En anglais ca se dit World Health Organizationet ca fait un bout de temps que c est pas recconu comme une maladie , en revanche les organisations religieuse et anti LGBT bien evidemment disent que oui
 
lydian said:
hello :) i've been thinking some more about stuff that i wanna get off my chest again, so i wrote another needlessly long essay about stuff, feel free to skip it entirely, read some portions, or read it all, up to you!

bi the way:
romance / sex inbifference: within ace and aro spaces, aside from the obvious spectra of romantic and sexual attraction, there also tends to be spectra for romance / sex in terms of willingness to do it despite your lack of attraction (but it's not exclusive to aro and ace people), so you can be asexual and sex favorable, for example, which means you don't get attracted to anyone sexually, but you're down to have sex and might even actually pursue it / enjoy it, etc. or you could be aromantic and romance repulsed, which means the thought of romance is gross or incomprehensible to you, and you'd never see yourself in a relationship, etc. a comparison i like to make here, is with food, imagine allo people have hunger occasionally (as romantic / sexual attraction) but aro / ace people don't, if you're not hungry you can still eat food, so romance / sex favorability is just how much you like that food. if you're favorable it's like pizza on a friday night, tasty french fries with your sauce of choice, or a bar of semisweet chocolate. if you're indifferent it's like a good ol' rice or like a salad, nothing too interesting, but nothing you can't eat sparingly and sporadically. and if you're repulsed, well, then it's just like a gross olive... or a conspicuous pickle... or a very disgusting pumpkin... or just mushroom stew... you get the idea (how the hell do people eat those????)! i wonder if doing that metaphor with drinks instead of food would be better, given the double meaning of "thirsty", but i think the idea is easier to digest with food (get it?), so i'll leave the analogy as is, hahaha!

so... i was wondering where exactly i lied in either spectra, and i came to the conclusion that i think i am indifferent to either, but i can't know for sure, as you can imagine, i don't have much field experience, and it's not like the pandemic is allowing for much of that, anyway. but that got me thinking, if i am in fact, indifferent and not repulsed, what genders am i cool with having relationships with? do i even have any preferences?

i am obiviously straight, r-right?: so my whole life i thought i was straight, as most people do, since i never really had any romantic or sexual drive for the other gender (or any gender, for that matter) i just kinda had nothing to challenge the heteronormative status quo. you know, straight until proven otherwise? that's how society usually sees thing. and hey, i looked at girls and got aesthetic attraction, they are beautiful! and since i was never taught to look at men in the same light, i just never saw it as "my sexuality" but rather me just "me looking at a guy and thinking he looks kinda cute", which, for a lot of straight people is possible. so even though all i had for either gender was mostly just similar levels of aesthetic attraction, for women i translated that as romantic / sexual attraction, and for men i just thought of as nothing (which is kinda is, but still).

and honestly? heteronormativity is strong. it's really hard to challenge the world view that's been planted into your head for all your life, you need a lot of counter-evidence to be able to challenge it. i remember watching natalie wynn's video: shame [1], in which she talks about how her and many other women, cis or trans, took so long to realise they weren't straight. in fact, this video was a big inspiration to get me to start thinking about this. it's honestly something really hard to challenge, or at least it's been for me.

so after a lot of thinking i came to realise that i don't really have a preference for a particular gender, i am not attracted to any of them, but were i to find myself in a relationship, i'd be happy with any gender, women, men, non-binary, and so on!

obiented aroace: thankfully, the ace community has me covered, there's a term called oriented aroace, which entails exactly people who are aroace, but experience other forms of attraction or preference to gender. i think it originally is aimed at distinguishing tertiary attractions (such as aesthetic, alterous, platonic, etc, from romantic and sexual), but it can also be used to disclose preference, for the case of someone who isn't romance / sex repulsed. i don't personally feel the need to disclose or explore other forms of attraction within my orientation, but all power to those who do, of course! it can be very important for aro and ace people especially! but for me, when i say i'm bi-oriented, i mean mostly that i have a preference for any gender if i were to "eat without being hungry", going back to my prior analogy.

to bi or to pan: i think i prefer the term bi over pan for me personally because, ironically, while i kinda am gender blind for myself (feeling very agender with that beard and those boardshorts!), i am not gender blind for other people. i see attraction to women as one thing, for men another, and for non-binary people something else entirely. natalie said in her video how her aesthetic attraction to men was comparable to looking at a sturdy greek pillar or building, and i think that is the perfect comparison for me as well. it definitely feels different to me, whereas looking at a woman is like looking at the venus de milo or something, and pan usually carries the gender blind concept with it (at least as far as i know it does), which doesn't really apply to me for the reasons i've stated.

relationship adbice: now, i've answer the question i initially set out to ask, but i don't think my problem is wholly solved here. like, i think i'm sex indifferent and bi-oriented, but what do i do with that? how will i ever get into a relationship with someone i'm by definition not attracted to? society often places on men the role of being active / pursuing the relationship (and i am cis passing as fuck), so how will i ever take on that active role, for someone i'm not attracted to? should i just wait until someone reaches out? it's happened before, once or twice, but i was too shy to act on it. and most importantly, will i even enjoy it? will i even be comfortable? these are all questions i have no idea how to answer. i feel lost in a maze of loneliness that i never will be able to get out. in one hand, i don't really mind, because i'm not attracted to anyone, and i'm pretty introverted, so i'm comfy where i am, but... on the other hand i do mind, i mind it a lot, i want to be able to experience these things! if only once! i don't wanna feel like a failure (not just in societies eyes, but mine also)... and there are so many barriers in the way... i don't know how, when, or how to begin explaining to someone about my sexuality and orientation, it will literally take, like, at least half an hour...? how do i explain to a straight or bi girl that i am not attracted to her and that i might be uncomfortable doing some stuff with her but i wanna do it still? how do i explain to a gay or bi guy that i am not attracted to him but it's not internalised homophobia. it's just... a lot, and i don't know what to do about it, how to do it, or when to do it. hopefully i'll be able to figure out how to navigate myself on all this, but, i'm not sure how soon that'll be, it still feels like i am nowhere near close to that...

labils: one last thing i wanna touch on, is how looking out for and having so many labels makes me feel a bit uncomfortable in a sense, like i'm trying to get attention or whatever (but trust me, attention is the last thing i want). "bi-oriented aro/ace agender, do you really need all that?" and no, honestly i don't. i wish there was a world where i wouldn't need to explain myself to other people, but i do, and labels are a great way to communicate things. it can also make you feel welcomed in a community, knowing there's people out there like you, that you're not just a freak of nature that no one will ever love (or well, maybe this last part is ironically true). but yeah, these are important to me. and i don't need to disclose everything all at once, i can use the labels when and where they're relevant. e.g. a guy asks me if by chance i'm not straight and i could say i'm bi. or a girl asks me if i'm uncomfortable with anything and i could say i'm ace and so and so. now these are obviously very hypothetical scenarios that would never happen in real life, but i'm just trying to illustrate a point here. labels are important for communication, and for a sense of belonging, so yes, that's why i need 5 words to explain my orientation and gender, sorry not sorry.
to abbrebiate: i am aroace (as i've said in my prior post [2]) but also bi-oriented, what that personally means to me, is that i do not get romantic or sexual attraction towards people of any gender, but i am open / indifferent to those kinds of relationships with people of any gender, that's all!
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loving the bi puns
 
So before I even get into the main point here, I'll be honest with y'all, I'm just a naturally very shy person, especially when it comes to this sort of stuff, so if something comes out awkward, I wholeheartedly apologize, though I've been trying to find a proper way to present this for like, a month
:psytear:

To put things shortly, I can finally say with full confidence that I am a demigirl! c:

I probably should've known this at a way younger age; there were plenty of hints to it, though knowledge in general of lgbtq+ didn't extend much further than just those who were gay and those who were lesbian when I was still in grade school, when these self "hints" started popping up for me. When I was very young (at least, to the best of my memory), my birthday and Christmas toys were always heavily geared towards your stereotypical young girl. I had Barbies, Bratz, Polly Pocket, Care Bears, etc.; you know, "girl" stuff. My mom must've caught on quick that this sort of stuff never appealed to me though, as when I got the chance, I showed her I was much more interested in other things. One of my favorite childhood toys was a stuffed spider, I had a few of those plastic bug toys, I watched Transformers with my brother, and generally, I enjoyed making messes in mud puddles and playing video games. At some point, I grasped the concept of a "tomboy," and for a while, smol me did consider that I was just that (though identity was still a pretty muddy concept to me. I think I was like, 7 or 8 when I was thinking that I was a tomboy because I hated overly girly things).

As I grew up, I eventually ignored my self "hints" and attempted to force myself to be your average ordinary typical girl, most notably in Middle School. I had plenty of "teen girl" magazines, would buy new clothes and make up, and would even attempt to hang out with friends and go to the mall, but come High School, I realized that just... Wasn't who I was to any extent, and it was doing way more harm than good to try and be something I clearly wasn't.

Speaking of High School, that's when things became insanely unstable for me. On one hand, I was way more accepting of who I was as a person. I accepted I loved video games and watching LPs, I accepted that I enjoyed sweatpants and sweatshirts when I went out instead of always getting gussied up in skirts and dresses. I still thought of myself as a girl, but I accepted there was more to it than just stereotypes. But something wasn't right still.

You'd think I'd fully accept myself for who I was at this point, but every time I told myself I was a girl, something would just feel off. I never let it bug me too much though. At this point (Junior / Senior years of HS), being lgbtq+ was becoming a lot more prominent in my school as my friends and others started discovering who they truly were as people, which was great and filled me with so much happiness for them because they were happy too! Fsr though, my brain didn't jump on this opportunity to truly discover who I was? I think my main problem was receiving wicked backlash from my family if they had ever found out, so I always just stuck with I was a girl, plain and simple.

Maybe I was a late bloomer, but I didn't start noticing and listening to my self "hints" until a couple of years into college. I had noticed I preferred to hang out with male friends and really only ever hung out with male friends. I just always saw myself as "one of the guys," and I'd frequently play games with them online like Monster Hunter and Warframe to name a couple.

To make something clear, I just wanna make a quick disclaimer and mention that I don't feel like a dude to any extent, nor do I think I ever felt I was ;; I just... Didn't feel like a girl.

And now we're here. Things have been clicking into place for quite a while now for me. With the help of some of the PS! and Smogon communities (you guys know who you are c:), I'm pretty much fully comfortable with who I am as a person.

I no longer worry so much about my weight and being obsessed with being skinny (I at one point was attempting to drop to 125 lbs because I believed it to be far more feminine than the 150 I was at before, even though my doctor expressed immediate concern and told me I'd suffer from anorexia if I tried to given my body type, but I'm now at a comfortable 143 lbs! Though I'm hoping to make it down to at least 135), I'm more comfortable with having such a bulky frame (I like to joke I have "football" shoulders because at least to me they're awfully wide), and I'm most importantly very comfortable with my voice, which was something I struggled with for a while. For short context, I believe my voice to be surprisingly low, far lower than what I'd ever be comfortable with, but now that I know who I truly am, I feel it's really quite fitting and now actually gives me confidence c:

ofc I obviously still know I'm very feminine and accept this part of me, but now I can fully accept the not so feminine parts of me too n.n

Thank you for reading if you chose to! I figured now would be the best time to share given the beginning of pride month! Hoping it's a great month for everyone! Take care!

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rubysapphiremerald said:
sorry for this post on the first day of pride month, which should definitely be more celebratory... I just needed to get things out... I know I shouldn’t complain about too much because my life has gotten better and better recently. I’m not in too dark of a place anymore, but a lot of things are really up in the air for me right now. I just have to make it through these next two and a half months or so, and then I move out to college! Make it there, I can really think that I’ve made it!
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You shouldn't feel like you have to apologize for talking about anti-LGBT sentiment during Pride month. Pride isn't just about rainbows and happy LGBT people; it's also for people in difficult situations and those facing oppression. Speaking out about transphobia is just as appropriate for Pride as sharing a happy coming-out story.
 
I'm not really sure how to do these things but in case you all didn't know, this is me coming out as asexual to the entire Smogon community rather than just friends who asked the right questions or said the right things. Happy pride month!
 
kind of a random and weird "uwu-y" post but over the past few days I've been doing my best to get out more for unrelated issues (unfitness after doing nothing for a year of covid basically) and that's resulted in a few walks around a few cities and such, and what I've seen has actually made me super happy. lots of stores, Big Epic Corporations and small local places alike, are waving their pride flags, I saw people with rainbow and blue-pink pins on their bags, there were mini parades (which looked kind of sad due to being socially distanced but hey) etc. and it's all just really cool to me because like... I'm not that naive, I know a lot of this is just down to marketing and monetising pride month which super sucks, but it's still very gay everywhere and I could never imagine living in a place like that 8 years ago or whenever it was that I started to figure myself out.

now of course I know not everyone lives in a place where people are finally starting to be genuinely accepted and I'm not trying to like, flex?? I guess, I just wanted to share that things can improve for people. Ireland is built on a lot of Catholic values and the mere idea of homosexuality was enough to get you killed in the not so distant past, it's just amazing to me how much that's changed and it gives me faith that at some point, the rest of the world might be able to follow suit and people can stop living in fear.

anyway, happy pride month to everyone! I was originally planning to make a less serious post about the topic but I figured it'd be better to give it this approach. please stay safe during this time and remember that people can only keep you down for so long, it gets easier and eventually you'll find your own route to happiness and self-acceptance, whatever that may entail. I also hope you guys keep posting your stories here; I know it might seem like you're just screaming into the void sometimes, but I personally read every post on this thread and I know things aren't easy for plenty of you but you've got some idiot on the internet in your corner if that's any consolation. idrk how to end this off but I promise you've got this and whatever you're dealing with isn't gonna last.
 
i came out in 2017 as a lesbian, but i never really embraced the title (due to compulsory heteronormativity and imposter syndrome) until early last year. fast forward to earlier this year, i met the girl of my dreams and ever since i could not be HAPPIER. i want all of my fellow LGBT+ to know that all of you are valid af and you deserve NOTHING but happiness. i know the road hasn't been easy for our community, but i'm so grateful to stand in solidarity with so many amazing people. happy pride month everyone!
 
Hello everyone!!! I hope you all have been having a solid Pride Month thus far.

I'm here to discuss a couple of things momentarily: primarily, what this month means to me from the perspective of someone apart of the LGBTQ+ community.

To me, as cliche as it sounds, Pride Month is not only a time of unity but is also a symbol of hope and progress toward improving the world around us, and normalizing freedom of self. There are a lot of people who dismiss its importance, but it is a pillar of progress that helps to bring into perspective how we are no less than anybody else in spite of our sexual orientations or gender identities. Pride Month is a period of time for us to express ourselves openly and be proud of what makes us ourselves, as opposed to internalizing heteronormativity and stigma and letting it dictate our self-worth. For a lot of us, our lifestyles come with a lot of vitriol from people who do not understand what exactly makes us who we are and meanwhile don't attempt to understand the ways in which norms shape and dangerously warp our perception of ourselves. We, very frequently, take a lot of time to figure out who we really are, and a lot of the reasons for that stem deep into stigma and projection of normality which doesn't inherently exist anyway, as well as pushback from loved ones. For some families, it is destructive. I cannot tell you how many LGBTQ+ people I've seen forced to the streets or torn away from loved ones simply because they refuse to accept who their loved one truly is. It is soul-crushing to watch, and I've sadly even experienced it myself to a traumatic degree.

This Pride Month, I implore you to give a pat on the back to any LGBTQ+ friends or acquaintances you may have. Our lifestyle is not easy, and it's one we constantly fight for to truly be happy with and to be ourselves. Support makes a world of difference for us and encourages us to keep fighting for our happiness and a better tomorrow. You make a difference by being the shoulder someone may need to get through the day, or even just hanging out and having fun together (which does in fact include screaming at a tour game when a player chokes).

For LGBTQ+ people reading this post: I am beyond proud of you for all the progress you've made, and the fight you continue to fight. Enjoy yourselves this month, and never be afraid to be yourself.
 
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I’ve lurked this thread a lot, and I’ve always been happy to see people accept who they are. It truly is inspiring. I was never too keen on revealing any sort of personal details about myself, but recently that kind of changed and I feel more comfortable with my presence online.

While I never really struggled with figuring out my orientation, it was something I had a lot of trouble revealing to people for the longest time. I don’t really have a supportive family, especially at the moment. I do have friends, both online and irl that I can talk with about anything, all of whom I’m eternally grateful for. Although I attended pride parades in my city and am vocal with my support for the lgbtq+ community, I was still closeted. Regardless, I did feel especially accepted as a person during this time of the year, which is a feeling I really enjoy and hope everyone experiences.

I only ever truly came out a few months ago but now, I can wholeheartedly and comfortably say to anyone that I’m lesbian. Happy pride month~
 
so i picked out a new name, you can call me adrian now (or av both works!) also i want to use she/her (i dont mind they them! i prefer she/her but both are totally fine!) also whoever reading this is probably super cute :3
cant wait for july 1st aka the lgbt purge when every corporation immediately changes its twitter profile back to normal lmao
 
i arise from my previous death, here to say that i go by both ray and liz now, with liz keeping the She/Her pronouns and Ray having He/Him pronouns. thank youuu ilyyy have a good day/afternoon/night and if todays your birthday happy frickin birthday to you!
(idk if this would mean im genderfluid or trans, i might keep liz and make that the only one, i might switch back to only ray, idk yet. i may go with something new entirely, who knows? life is full of surprises. however this is how i identify currently, and it would make me very happy if you respected it. thanks again!!) and i would like to give a very very very big thank you to all of my friends who helped me figure out who i am, who i want to be and how they still stick with me and help the best they can when i need them. i love all of you so much, and i owe you all so so very much more than a thank you in text.
 
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