im writing this becos i feel like i need to before i stop caring
did you ever wonder why most prestigious tournaments held on this site barely reach 500 users (just think to spl or ost signups thread) despite last time i checked smogon had more than 200k registered users?
personally i just dont. i remember when i first joined the smogtour server almost 2 years ago. i didnt know a shit back then, i didnt know any of the players, any of the tournaments. i just thought, 'goddam they have a server, and they all have voice, this is some serious shit, its not like the tournaments room of ps. i wanna be part of it'. then i got to know ever single aspect of it i didnt know before. people who think they are the best, who act cocky, showing no respect for newcomers, ignoring them, laughing at them, telling others to eat dicks becos according to them they made a dumb move or becos they used someone elses team. ppl there also gather in groups. its like some sort of caste. if you are out of it, u mathematically are an aids sack, no matter what you are doing or saying, what u did or said. pkmn is a child's game but its not an excuse. most tournaments players are almost grown up. there are 19, 20, 21 years old people like me.
now, fact i had a lot of free time, and everybody acting this way, made me act the same way too. its something i should have avoided. but i didnt exactly knew what i was doing with my life till the end of this summer. now something changed, things are going for the better and i dont want to fall again. ppl around me have expectations on me, and so do i
ill not say that i quit smogon to get everyone on my profile and support me becos i lost just to come back 2 days after (laurel docet).
ill not say it becos no one would take me seriously
i want to say this instead. im not a loser for quitting now although most ppl would think so.
im not a loser for doing that. im not giving up on something. its quite the opposite. im winning.