Its 2015 somewhere
Wrave you get Jim-Bob, the Hillbilly Quagsire. Quagsire comes from the swamps of louisiana, so it may only use moves that remind it of its home. (aka only STAB moves) Additionally, it doesn't like Morty or will, since he's a fancy schmancy artsy types, so he must solo them. Finally, when you get to the point where you can catch unown, Jim-Bob can't read so well, so you must teach it its moves by catching all unown that spell out the letters of his attacks before moving on.