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CAP 16 CAP 5 - Sprite Submissions

Discussion in 'CAP Process Archive' started by capefeather, Mar 24, 2013.

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  1. Cartoons!

    Cartoons! !!!
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    [​IMG]

    c'mon, just a bite, you know you waaaant to *dangle dangle*

    I'm liking the mass and coloration on your sprite most, Quanyails, and it shows best the form of the snake, as the different parts of its body really appears to exist in three dimensional space. Really nice work.

    I could say the same of Wyverii's, which has some extra dynamism to boot!

    Invalio, you have a great front sprite, but the back sprite could use some work. Particularly, the close and far portions of the body appear on the same plane, rather than mirroring the placement we see in the front sprite.

    I could use some critiques too. Though this probably won't be my final front version, I'd appreciate some extra sets of eyes.
  2. Wyverii

    Wyverii "What I cannot create, I do not understand."
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    [​IMG]

    Backs added, some minor tweaks to the front.

    Changlog:
    The apple now glows lightly.
    Eyes altered slightly.
    Smirk more pronounced.
    The unsettling tangent (outlines touching) between the leaves at the back and the neck removed.
    Markings smoothed out.
    Head leaves altered to be more full, and with jagged tips.
    Shiny and backsprites added.

    Note: the last set of leaves on the body have been left out from the original design. The uneven spacing was unsettling to me.

    I'll be opting out of gender differences for this round. People have pointed out that we do tend to overdo them.

    For Cartoons! (open)
    You really know how to emote a character, it oozes charm! But here's some little things to help you out.

    Clean lines! Make sure that every distinct part of the creature's outlined properly. Like the leaf on the head. It's not only useful to do, but a requirement as part of the rules. Try to avoid leaving spots of dark/light colours on the outline like on the neck, it doesn't tend to look good on darker backgrounds.

    The underbelly might benefit from being distingushed from the top of the body a bit more. Perhaps use the next darker shade on the edges (this might not work out, mess around!). The leaves on the body could also use a bit of distingushment from each other, the shades are blending into each other.

    You shouldn't be able to see the leaf on the other side of the head next to the mouth that way. At least judging from how the one at the front is arranged. I actually mistook it as part of the mouth at first.

    Be careful about using the deepest brown as a shade! It's rather dark so it's rather harsh, like under the middle set of leaves on the body.

    Alright, that's enough from me. You're a good artist so you probably picked most of this stuff up by yourself. G'luck.
  3. Sulticune

    Sulticune

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    Wow, loads of awesome sprites here! I love the varied poses and facial expressions you guys have all done so far! Keep it up :)
  4. noobiess

    noobiess

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    Here is my sprite:
    [​IMG]
    I am so happy the snakey won :) The design is really great and fun to work with.

    Comments:
    Wyverii: I love the style. It looks so legit. The pose is nice, but it doens't really present the spirit of the design, I think. It should look a bit more tempting to eat that apple.
    Cartoons!: I love the pose, but I actually would flip it horizontaly because now it looks like it is facing the other way.
    arkeis: As always, it looks really solid. The only thing that seems wrong is the head but I can't really put my finger on what it is.
    Quanyails: Your CAP5 (I wanted to avoid typing: your snake ^^) looks a bit fatter then the original design. Also the eyes look weard but maybe that's just me (because I had the same thing with your cuppra-sprite). Other then that, it looks really nice.
  5. paintseagull

    paintseagull pink wingull
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    Caelestis: awesome first post :) I like your sprite overall but I think that both the head and the apple are too small. The snout also looks too big compared to the skull. If you could fix that without changing his expression to much it would be awesome. Also, as Dracoyoshi8 said, you need some shadow on the underside of his frontmost body to indicate a bit more dimension. Your shadows could have more contrast as well.

    Cartoons!: Great dynamic pose!! I agree with noobiess that it would probably look better flipped to be facing the traditional direction. And I agree with Wyverii that the far head-leaf doesn't need to be there - I also thought it was part of the mouth. There's also some lack of contrast issues with the neck part of the body - from zoomed out it looks as though the light belly colour is the same as the yellow stripe and distorts the perception of the body's shape. The inner mouth is contrasting too much with the rest of the body and is distracting.

    Wyverii: just wow! You are a pro. the backsprite and shinies look great.

    noobiess: Great smoothness! I also love how you've exaggerated the grin. It's like just barely on the borderline of being too exaggerated but I think it works. The placement and angle of the last set of thorns is a bit problematic because it looks like they could be coming out of the side of the upper body. The other set of thorns could use some work too, the perspective is not consistent.
  6. DougJustDoug

    DougJustDoug Knows the great enthusiasms
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    Here's my current work-in-progress:

    [​IMG]

    The design space around the general pose of the original artwork has been pretty well explored by other spriters and I like several of those sprites. So, I decided to go a different direction with this sprite, using a pose based on one of my early CAP art designs. There are many things I'm not happy with on this sprite, but I have enough done that I can put it out for general feedback and see how I can improve it. Comments welcome!


    Comments for a few of my faves (open)
    Quanyails: I love your sprite, it is my current favorite in the thread. I don't think you need to change anything.

    Wyverii: All your sprites look great and I like the pose you've chosen with this one. As others have said, the apple is perhaps a bit too deemphasized, but if you leave it as is, I still like it. I really like the shiny!

    Cartoons: Easily the most dynamic sprite in the thread. Love the open mouth and action feel of the sprite.

    Noobiess: So much character and expression in the face of your sprite, that's the home run selling point of it IMO.
  7. Nyktos

    Nyktos Custom Loser Title
    is a Pre-Contributor

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    Cartoons!, your sprite is very good but it sorta looks to me like it's about to eat its own apple. Maybe that's just me though.
  8. Adams

    Adams

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    Some Feedback

    Cartoons!: An awesome pose for the sprite! The only problem with it is that the leaves closest to the tail seem more like markings than actual leaves. Maybe that's just me.

    Arkeis: Great sprite! The only problem with it for me is that it seems a bit too fat.

    DougJustDoug: To me it seems like the head and the apple are both too big for the body. I love the pose though.

    noobiess: Love the pose, and while I like the facial expression, there aren't any fangs.

    Quanyails: Looks like a slow and bulky mon, which is great. I love it, and it is my favorite so far. My only problem are the eyes, which aren't surrounded by the color, and it just looks strange.

    Wyverii: Really a great pose. I'm not sure how you would improve it.
  9. iamdanielcruces

    iamdanielcruces

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    Feedback for my favorites

    Doug: The fangs look a bit weird, asymmetrical perhaps, and the apple seems to me to be hanging a bit limp, compared with the awesome movement of the body. Otherwise I love the cartoonish feel.

    Cartoons!: I like the pose, it reminds me of some 1st and 2nd Gen sprites. As someone mentioned before, perhaps it would look better looking the other way.

    Wyverii: Probably my favorite, the only thing that bothers me a little is in the back sprite, I'm not sure if the colors around the sharp turn of the tail should look like that.

    Quanyails: Really great sprite. Maybe the point where the tail touches the apple is a bit too thick. Also, in the regular backsprite, the underbelly color doesn't contrast too much with the back color. The shiny, on the other hand, is just perfect :)
  10. Caelestis

    Caelestis

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    Thank you for the comments and suggestions~

    Old Sprite ----> New Sprite!
    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    I made some changes for this sprite here.


    • I lengthened the lower end part of the body to show its front more; positioning of the tail is also altered.

    • I also tweaked the apple and the leaves on the Capmon 'cuz it look kinda -meh...?- before.

    • And going to the most obvious changes, I changed the color palette putting more contrast to make it look less dull. Besides that, I also took Dracoyoshi8's comment to sprite the mouth open.

    [​IMG]

    Oh, and this is for my shiny sprite. I was going for an autumn feel for its color palette.

    Hope 'ya like it!
  11. Scorpio

    Scorpio

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    Ok, so now that I'm back, I've edited my sprite more. I made the main body color lighter, made the body thicker, started shading, and did more detailing.

    [​IMG]

    As always, feedback is appreciated.
  12. Sonic The Hedgedawg

    Sonic The Hedgedawg

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    Cartoons!, the color palette is a bit too light for my liking, but the dynamic pose is just plain SEXY!
  13. DougJustDoug

    DougJustDoug Knows the great enthusiasms
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    I updated my sprite based on feedback.

    [​IMG]

    I made the sprite smaller, because it was just way too big. Even though snake designs will almost always take up a lot of space, I realized I went too far with it. I'm working on making it even smaller, but this is a good start.

    I changed the head considerably, after hearing many comments that the head looked wonky. I plan to keep working on the head too. I also changed the apple to be smaller and more dynamic with the pose. Thanks for the comments!
  14. iamdanielcruces

    iamdanielcruces

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    Caelestis: A definite improvement in your design, and great idea for the shiny colors!

    Scorpio: Nice improvement as well! There's a bit of a contrast problem with the apple, and... perhaps too many segments in the tail?

    Arkeis: I really like the sinuous design, but the way the head bends upward goes a bit against the flow.

    Doug: Smaller, sleeker, better. Maybe the mouth and the front "ear" can be touched up, but I can't really suggest much more :)
  15. Scorpio

    Scorpio

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    @iamdanielcruces: You mean on the underside, right? I can change that.
  16. Yveltal

    Yveltal

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    I'm making one too
    [​IMG] Step 2 --> [​IMG]
    I know this is still several hours from being done. I just wanted to put what I had here to state my entry and to help prioritize and schedule my work.

    I was working on this pose before I looked at the thread and saw the other sprites. I tried to make something where he looks more vain, but every new pose looked a little weird, and I decided to stick to what I already had.

    EDIT: Sprite's a bit updated. I don't like being so busy that my pet projects suffer. I also wish I had experience spriting the niches to its design. Does anyone have a good rule of thumb for drawing the spots?
  17. elcheeso

    elcheeso
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    Uh I guess I could use some more feedback on mine...

    [​IMG]
  18. Eagle4

    Eagle4

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    Okay, time for feedback.

    Spoilers because long (open)
    Arkeis: I really like it. I don't really have much to say on this sprite since what needs to be perfected has already been said by the others. The tail seems quite flat? Anyway, good job, it's currently in my shortlist.

    Caelestis: It's a nice attempt, but there are certainly aspects of the sprite which need improving. The pose is a little awkward, I'm not sure where you were going with that. Parts of the line-art seem over-stretched, such as when the snake is turning its tail, and the lower segment of the "neck". I'd make your colours seem a little more vibrant than what you've got now. It's a little diluted at the moment. The shading falls flat (double meaning totally intended), and some areas need to look a little more three-dimensional (I'm not sure how you could go about doing this though). I also think the head is a little too small, and the tail curves off a little too soon, making it seem quite thin compared to the original artwork. The shiny version makes the snake look like it has a larger nostril, but eh, that's just how I see it ;P

    Cartoons!: I like it! I see a few problems however; the curve with the body moving from left to right is a little too sudden and jagged, I really think it should be a lot smoother, so that the flow of the design is more apparent. Other than that, the colouring of the main body is a little too light; opt for a darker shde of brown to match the original artwork. The tip of the tail entering into the apple is barely visible, and at first I thought that the apple was hanging onto the tail rather than part of the tail. You might have tapered off the tail a little too much, as it looks weedy more than anything. Lineart near the tip of the tail needs small improvements, most noticeably where it curves, on the outer line. The fact that you've included one of the snake's yellow stripe patterns where the underbelly of the neck tapers off looks quite odd, as the pattern is barely visible in contrast to the pale underbelly. Also, aren't Gen 5 sprites meant to be facing left rather than right? As others have suggested, I'd flip the sprite. The spikes/thorns/whatever are a bit flat, most noticeably the last pair. As a positive, I think you've executed the devilish, sneaky and sinister grin of the snake perfectly, and it looks like you haven't had much trouble with the fangs, which I know a lot of people are struggling on.

    DougJustDoug: It's certainly a refreshing pose in contrast to the rest of the sprites, I like how you've tried to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack. The perspective is difficult to execute, yet you've seemed to pull it off. Colouring is great also. The lines are very smooth, but this could be attributed to how large the sprite is; I feel it still needs some downsizing. The thorns/spikes/I-don't-know-anymore, as with Cartoons!, seem quite flat and in this case very one-dimensional, and the pairs should also be more tightly bunched. Whilst having perfectly-shaped circles as the underbelly pattern and stripe pattern look neat, it makes the sprite seem.. I don't know, too processed? Too fake? It's hard to put into words, but I think it's the tiny imperfections and the irregular patterns which makes a sprite (of course, this is entirely subjective). Smaller nitpicks I have include making the head leaves seem a little less jagged and sorting out the fangs, as they look quite odd at the moment. Nevertheless, this sprite is definitely on my shortlist; I especially love the detailed eyes and the apple. It'll be interesting to see how you execute your back-sprite.

    elcheeso: I've already said what I've needed to say about yours in #cap, but for the sake of everybody viewing this, I'll say it again (plus other things I've spotted). FIrst off, the sprite is very overwhelming and realistic(ish), no doubt due to the heavy shading. I think your artistic flair has come across a little too much in the sprite; spriting requires a different set of skills. The shading on the neck shouldn't be a straight, diagonal line, but rather a curve. The tail is quite thick, and I'm not seeing the logic by putting a line down the centre of the tip; you should remove it altogether. I can't see the fangs at all ;_;. The head leaves aren't in the right perspective, the one further away from us shouldn't be visible, and if so, only very slightly. The lineart in particular is very rough, especially on the tail, and there isn't a consistent thickness to the body of the snake. Other than all this, the colours you have chosen are fantastic and it is obvious that a lot of effort has been put into this sprite.

    invalio:
    As others have pointed out, it's just a sprite-over, which requires a lot less skill than coming up with your own pose, and is more often than not frowned upon. The front sprite, because of this, is rather nice-looking, although quite underwhelming. It's the back sprite which has the most problems; the neck is too thin, and the tail is too tall. The other problems with the back sprite which I have have all been mentioned previously in the thread.

    noobiess: I absolutely adore this sprite. The colouring is perfect, the shading, whilst simple, is executed brilliantly and you've managed to create the perfect expression for snakey. I have a few nitpicks however; as it stands, the neck of the snake (why do I keep on saying neck, the whole thing is a freakin' neck) looks quite flat and so does the tail. Other than that though, I see nothing wrong with it. It's certainly on my shortlist. Make sure when you're final submitting to change it to a transparent background! I don't know if having no fangs is intentional; I myself don't see a problem with it, but there would be a lot of users who would rather see the fangs.

    Quanyails: I like the sprite, but as you know, I have a few problems with it. First of all (and I'm going to keep on saying this), the neck looks too fat and really should be slimmed down a little. The shading on the back sprite's neck might also be a little too contrasting, but I'm sure you can get away with it. The head leaves should be at a lower angle. Not a floppy, curved leaf but a leaf which is pointing at a lower angle. The face is still a little goofy :/ I don't really know how you could change that though. You've sprited the eyes so that the pattern on it now looks more like eyelids, which could contribute to why the sprite looks quite goofy. The colours you've chosen for the shiny sprite look good, and I love the contrast between the golden apple and the darker, more sinister body. It's interesting that you've chosen a gender change rather than a shiny change for the colouring of the apple; I know a lot of people are opposed to another gender difference, since near all CAPs have it, so it'll be interesting to see how that plays out (I myself have no problem with it).Still, this is definitely shortlist-worthy, on to my shortlist it goes!

    Scorpio: The colours are certainly vibrant, maybe too much so? It's all very bright at the moment. I can't really see a definitive outline, I suggest making it all black. The underbelly (undertail?) of the tail has wayyy too many segments, I suggest taking a few out. The head leaves are rather short and could do with being stretched. Once again, the head area is in quite a state at the moment; you can't really make out the fangs, for instance. I await the shading o3o

    Wyverii: My favourite sprite in the thread so far, hands down. Besides not making the curve at the tip of the tail so jagged, and changing the colour of the stripes to a yellow, to match the original artwork, I can't really fault your design in any way, you've done a fantastic job. I could see having less emphasis on the apple as a problem, but I'm not really bothered by it. I think that the shading of the neck in the backsprite, as with Quanyails' is a little too contrasted, but that's really just a minor nitpick.
  19. kaps

    kaps

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    I love dougjustdoug's design. It just looks ready to battle. the creative position as well as the facial expression are great. definitely one of my favorites
  20. Scorpio

    Scorpio

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    Alright, in accordance with various critiques (mostly by Eagle4) I have done the following things to my sprite:
    -Changed the 'under-tail' so there's less segments
    -made the sprite less bright
    -made the outline all black
    -made the leaves longer and the fangs more prominent

    So here it is now.

    [​IMG]

    Also, I decided to make a shiny version.

    [​IMG]

    Feedback would be appreciated, as always. However, I have a question for you guys: I am planning to make the lower half of the body (the part that goes behind the neck) lower to the ground in order to make for an easier time making a realistic backsprite (as it is, the part in question looks like it's hovering off the ground in the backsprite). Should I do this, or should I use another method of making the backsprite?
  21. DougJustDoug

    DougJustDoug Knows the great enthusiasms
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    I made some small changes to my sprite based on feedback.

    [​IMG]

    I tried to make the "ears" less sharp and more leafy. I rounded and thickened the body spikes to be more like the spikes in the original art. I also changed up the fangs quite a bit, since many people commented they looked odd previously. I'm not sure if all these changes are an improvement or not, so opinions are welcome!

    Previous version (open)
    [​IMG]


    I'm working on the backsprite and shinies, and should have them up in a few days.
  22. Mos-Quitoxe

    Mos-Quitoxe
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    I honestly can't say I like the look of DougJustDoug's sprite at all, specifically the head. The cranium is much taller than it needs to be, overlapping the eye ridges, so the whole skull looks like one large dome. The sprite also has a pronounced overbite which the artwork lacks, and the fangs seem far too crooked. The sneering mouth also seems to extend much too far back, at least when the teeth are visible. The head leaves could also do with less veining and more shading.

    the rest of the body is fine though.
  23. inanimate blob

    inanimate blob

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    The head and body structure just seem a bit too...tall and skinny. The sprite looks fine though, with a good pose and colors.
  24. Kadew

    Kadew Typically unpunctual
    is an Artist

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    [​IMG]

    I'm making a sprite whaaaaaaaaat?

    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, this is essentially my first time making a proper scratch sprite

    Edit: fixed the color of the jaw, added the secondary fangs, darkened outlines between coils a touch, and added eye lasers.

    Comparison of sprite with other snakemons (open)
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]


    This is essentially what the pose is based on. (open)
    [​IMG]
  25. Unitas

    Unitas

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    Kadew it looks really good! For some critique I would say that it looks almost like its tipping over, and unbalanced. Also the lower jaw seems to be shorter than the top and it makes it look slightly awkward. Lastly, the sides of the apple look really flat instead of being rounded.
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