Emergency Situations

[Alchemator]

Post a response to the emergency situation posted above you, and then post one yourself! Exercise some creativity. EG:

What if the Democrats suddenly hired assassins to come and kill you? How would you survive their attack on your house?

I'd distract them with a Palindrome and then jump out of the window while they were busy being confused, and definitely not laughing. I'd then call the government to see if I could get some military help.

So, here is mine:

What would you do if a naked man with a highly reactive banana attempted to hold up your bank?

 

[Morm]

I would counter troll by getting naked and whipping out my own highly reactive banana.


your girlfriend is on her period but you really want to have sex

 

[Politoed666]

I would masturbate.

you walk in on cookie nailing your mom.

 

[Eraddd]

Eat the cookie, tell mom to stop playing with herself

What if you were on a sinking boat without a liftboat, but only a dead body as a flotation device?

 

[Morm]

I'd be glad that my food supply doesn't take up room on my life raft.

You hit someone of visible minority while driving your car on a deserted back road

 

[Lanturn314]

Take their stuff for a change and run the fuck away.


You are alone in a room with Michael Jackson and a Catholic priest, and the only door is locked.

 

[Xaqwais]

Use MJ's dead body to keep away from the priest.

You are trapped in a room for 3 weeks. You have no food, which limb to cut off and eat first?

 

[WaterBomb]

The one with the most ripened fruit or berries on it.

You have discovered the cure for cancer, but if you want to reveal it you must sacrifice your own life.

 

[Eggbert]

wait until you are old/bored.

You are going to die in a week but with superpowers OR live normally watching a neighbor with said powers live.

 

[Thorns]

laugh as his superpowers are probably lame and inferior to the ones i could have had

you can only visit one website for the rest of your life

 

[Alan]

that wasnt a question

 

[Mike B]

Save it by going ontrack and banning everyone involved.



You suddenly have explosive diarrhea and are at a romantic dinner with your date. Best way to deal with it?

 

[Thorns]

???

 

[alamaster]

You suddenly have explosive diarrhea and are at a romantic dinner with your date. Best way to deal with it?

Happened to me irl actually...wasn't pretty but luckily we had been going out for awhile so she was more concerned for my well being than grossed out >_>

if you were a 14 year old girl and imperfectluck was arriving at your house in 2 hours

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

Fondle my own boobs like every other guy would if he were a 14 year old girl

You laugh at one of Rodan.s links. He starts posting more

 

[Morm]

Laugh more.

TIK posts without insulting someone poorly

 

[cim]

TIK posts without insulting someone poorly

You laugh because TIK has made yet another quality post.

Deck Knight comes out of the closet.

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

Just be glad everything has been going the same way it has been in the history of forever

You find a thinly veiled brown noser whom you cant respond to well enough

EDIT: Well this post was meant for the previous one but I like how this one works with CIMS so we are gonna keep it that way

 

[cookie]

Deck Knight comes out of the closet.

you go back into yours.

 

[CaptKirby]

I dealt with the Rodan situation by telling him I was going to cut him off for two months if he linked me one more bad youtube video. He did and I refused to click his links, he finally stopped linking!

To deal with a brown noser you just have to hope chaos posts something angry at the guy, that usually breaks their spirit completely.

Kid on the block DM tells you that he will infract you for mocking anyone in the photo album, but then a post like

crops up and you have the perfect insult (also sometimes the situation is exacerbated by people being unable to stop hitting on the completely average girl attention whoring or in this case trolling actually).

 

[cim]

you take it to another thread because you just can't POSSIBLY HELP THE IDEA THAT NO ONE WOULD READ YOUR INSULT

ck makes a passive agressive post

 

[cookie]

you take it to another thread because you just can't POSSIBLY HELP THE IDEA THAT NO ONE WOULD READ YOUR INSULT

ck makes a passive agressive post

tell him to shut up because "shut up ck" is always topical and relevant


bloobers attack the server

 

[CaptKirby]

you take it to another thread because you just can't POSSIBLY HELP THE IDEA THAT NO ONE WOULD READ YOUR INSULT

ck makes a passive agressive post

I think you may be confused because I would insult these guys in the photo album thread if I had a good one and also I never make passive

aggressive posts, I just make aggressive ones.

 

[Deck Knight]

shut up ck

You discover your personal hero molests the women he purports to fight for.

 

[killazys]

Follow suit.

You have $1 billion. For every $1000 you spend, however, you will lose a day of your lifespan. What do?