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Social Neurodiversity
- Thread starter p0ip0le
- Start date
i wish this thread was more active, i miss talking to my neurodivergent buddies :c
i was diagnosed with autism at age 3, and i seriously wish more people put that into consideration when interacting with me.
i struggle with picking up on social cues. i'm inattentive. i spend so long thinking of things with little-to-no importance. i also have an awful nail-biting habit, but i think its unlikely that's connected to my autism.
the problem is that no one fucking believes me because i'm "normal enough". i'm in classes with regular kids and i do a good job at hiding my autism, so when i do something that doesn't follow the status quo, it makes me look and feel stupid.
the person i clash most with because of this is my dad, because he genuinely can't comprehend the fact that i'm neurodivergent. he outright denies it. him expecting me to be a normal person when i'm not has been emotionally draining since i started middle school.
so yeah, it sucks. but i hope it gets better soon.
i'm here
my second post was about neurodivergency and got deleted :c
I think the reason this thread can go silent so often isn’t because we don’t care about each other, because we do. It’s more so because the conversations that would take place here are geared towards neurodiversity itself, rather than being a discussed hub for neurodiverse individuals. I would imagine the reason this thread was designed in the way it was might have had something to do with not wanting neurodiversity to feel like some kind of exclusive club- having an area where just neurodiverse individuals could hang out could quickly create problems beyond just “neurotypical individuals feeling left out”. In an effort to break the stigma, we might actually be making it worse if we ever tried that.
The other reason this thread can feel quiet often is when there’s simply not much to talk about in the neuroscience field that either A. hasn’t already been posted about, or B. hasn’t been major breaking news across the community. This can be taken two equally valid ways- you either save your posts for when the time feels right, or you try and make an effort to break the silence by posting again.
The other reason this thread can feel quiet often is when there’s simply not much to talk about in the neuroscience field that either A. hasn’t already been posted about, or B. hasn’t been major breaking news across the community. This can be taken two equally valid ways- you either save your posts for when the time feels right, or you try and make an effort to break the silence by posting again.
When I was a child, I was considered unusual by teachers and doctors, but no diagnosis was made as the timeframe of the early 2000s in my country didn't really know or consider neurodivergency. This has only gotten worse and worse as I've aged, very strong intrusive thoughts and obsessions that occupy my mind for months on end are the result. I used to think I may have autism, but I understand social cues very well and lack most symptoms.
4 and a half years ago, I went to a psychiatrist to get myself diagnosed with depression. Additionally, I was also diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. I never considered OCD for myself, as I am a messy person, but I recently heard that these strong intrusive thoughts can be a symptom of OCD
I want to return to a psychiatrist, get my OCD checked out more closely and talk with therapist about it more. I may consider medication too, however when I tried out antidepressants, they had absolutely no effect on me, just mild side effects, even in high dosage, so it may not work out well for me
4 and a half years ago, I went to a psychiatrist to get myself diagnosed with depression. Additionally, I was also diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. I never considered OCD for myself, as I am a messy person, but I recently heard that these strong intrusive thoughts can be a symptom of OCD
I want to return to a psychiatrist, get my OCD checked out more closely and talk with therapist about it more. I may consider medication too, however when I tried out antidepressants, they had absolutely no effect on me, just mild side effects, even in high dosage, so it may not work out well for me
Because none of your posts spark discussion. This thread wasn't made for ND people to post "hi im autistic" and then leave. If you read the OP it's about discussing experiences and day to day life as an ND individual. If you are looking for more active discussion with/about ND people you'll want to look for a Discord server because that's not going to happen on a niche forum like this.
and i asked a question to spark disscussion!
Now that the meme has passed
How do people feel about the good doctor
Personally every time I saw clips of it I wanted to punch a wall
How do people feel about the good doctor
Personally every time I saw clips of it I wanted to punch a wall
Like a surgeon
In all seriousness I just never cared much for the show primarily because I didn't watch it
but from what I've seen (I am a surgeon)
not something that looks very autistic representation friendly
Just found out this thread exists!
Gonna ramble a bit about some thought and an experience I was having this week relating to the topic, long post incoming
While I'll skip most of the introducton, I'll start off with that I have autism, ADHD and anxiety (former since young age, latter couple only diagnosed in recent years).
The thoughts I was having more specifically related to social interaction and why I find it so confounding. I think the way I can best break it down is this:
Life, at all times, is a series of choices we make. Social interaction is a microcosm of that -- every conversation can go an infinite number of ways, and depending on the situation (work, friends, family) it's more likely to lean toward specific topics. The impression I get from neurotypical folks is that this is generally less of a choice in low stress situations - words come naturally, second thoughts are reserved for moments of tension.
For me though, this state of deciding is a constant. Outside of talking with friends I truly feel shameless around, every single conversation goes as though I have a menu of options to pick and autoscroll is disabled. Easy answers may come quickly, but the command still has to be given from brain to mouth manually. I feel like this is in large part due to conditioning from a young age with speech therapy and general socializing - when I was younger, I would speak at length to everybody and nobody about whatever was on my mind like, for example, pokemon. This strategy may find you likeminded friends, but often leads to a very low turnover rate of genuine acquaintanceship. Thus, talking became a hands-on job, and my hands get tired as hell after a little while.
Compounding this is anxiety, or, as I like to call it, Awareness Paralysis. Not only is manual input required to carry on conversation, but I'm made constantly aware by my subconscious exactly what the worst version of myself would say or do in any given interaction. It's easy to scroll over most of the time, but it gets taxing pretty fast and the feelings of disgust over many of these blink-and-you-miss-it thoughts lingers far longer than healthy or necessary.
I think that's why I've become a much more talkative person since I've joined online spaces. It relieves immediate physical pressure of needing to present as a functional person and always allows a backspace.
I'm back working full-time again though, and those moments where I freeze up over easy questions I instantly knew the answer to were upon me once again. I've more or less come to accept this is just gonna be a natural part of living with the brain I was given, and it's up to me now to give myself some leeway.
When I got home yesterday though, I was failing that last part. I laid in bed for a bit until the thoughts bubbled over and I needed to do something to alleviate the tension in my head. Talking was only gonna add to it, so I sorta just reverted to a basic instinct and made some strange noises. A few gritted exhales, some ooouuuhs, and some head shaking and miscellaneous sounds later, I snapped out of it. I wont argue this is a healthy coping mechanism or that I didn't look very silly doing it, but DAMN it felt good haha
It really does make the times I've had people tell me "wow, I didn't know you had autism" all the stranger to me. The menu options of responses to that one range from "fat fucking cap" to "thanks, I guess" to simply "bruh".
regardless, I type this out as a means of sorting my own thoughts and to ask if anyone else with issues socializing that finds themselves here has any other explanations for how/why they might find it difficult. I find these sorts of analogies/explanations make it much easier to describe not just to
medical personnel but to anyone curious and willing to empathize with plights many of us share.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read, and have a good one everyone!
Gonna ramble a bit about some thought and an experience I was having this week relating to the topic, long post incoming
While I'll skip most of the introducton, I'll start off with that I have autism, ADHD and anxiety (former since young age, latter couple only diagnosed in recent years).
The thoughts I was having more specifically related to social interaction and why I find it so confounding. I think the way I can best break it down is this:
Life, at all times, is a series of choices we make. Social interaction is a microcosm of that -- every conversation can go an infinite number of ways, and depending on the situation (work, friends, family) it's more likely to lean toward specific topics. The impression I get from neurotypical folks is that this is generally less of a choice in low stress situations - words come naturally, second thoughts are reserved for moments of tension.
For me though, this state of deciding is a constant. Outside of talking with friends I truly feel shameless around, every single conversation goes as though I have a menu of options to pick and autoscroll is disabled. Easy answers may come quickly, but the command still has to be given from brain to mouth manually. I feel like this is in large part due to conditioning from a young age with speech therapy and general socializing - when I was younger, I would speak at length to everybody and nobody about whatever was on my mind like, for example, pokemon. This strategy may find you likeminded friends, but often leads to a very low turnover rate of genuine acquaintanceship. Thus, talking became a hands-on job, and my hands get tired as hell after a little while.
Compounding this is anxiety, or, as I like to call it, Awareness Paralysis. Not only is manual input required to carry on conversation, but I'm made constantly aware by my subconscious exactly what the worst version of myself would say or do in any given interaction. It's easy to scroll over most of the time, but it gets taxing pretty fast and the feelings of disgust over many of these blink-and-you-miss-it thoughts lingers far longer than healthy or necessary.
I think that's why I've become a much more talkative person since I've joined online spaces. It relieves immediate physical pressure of needing to present as a functional person and always allows a backspace.
I'm back working full-time again though, and those moments where I freeze up over easy questions I instantly knew the answer to were upon me once again. I've more or less come to accept this is just gonna be a natural part of living with the brain I was given, and it's up to me now to give myself some leeway.
When I got home yesterday though, I was failing that last part. I laid in bed for a bit until the thoughts bubbled over and I needed to do something to alleviate the tension in my head. Talking was only gonna add to it, so I sorta just reverted to a basic instinct and made some strange noises. A few gritted exhales, some ooouuuhs, and some head shaking and miscellaneous sounds later, I snapped out of it. I wont argue this is a healthy coping mechanism or that I didn't look very silly doing it, but DAMN it felt good haha
It really does make the times I've had people tell me "wow, I didn't know you had autism" all the stranger to me. The menu options of responses to that one range from "fat fucking cap" to "thanks, I guess" to simply "bruh".
regardless, I type this out as a means of sorting my own thoughts and to ask if anyone else with issues socializing that finds themselves here has any other explanations for how/why they might find it difficult. I find these sorts of analogies/explanations make it much easier to describe not just to
medical personnel but to anyone curious and willing to empathize with plights many of us share.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read, and have a good one everyone!
The more i read about other autistic people's experiences the more I suspect that I might be autistic?
I got diagnosed with ADHD a year ago but that was only after I had a complete breakdown, lol. I really don't know how much of my behavior is because of adhd/other reasons that people tell me I can't be autistic, but the more NT people i talk to the more obvious the disconnect becomes. Socially I think I do okay at knowing what to say and how to respond but it's more of like a "if someone says x, the correct response is y". Also I did have a lot more issues with understanding sarcasm/not everyone being literal when I was younger, but there was a particularly bad incident that happened as a result of me not understanding that when I was younger so I basically just stopped trusting people for a long time.
Also I had a huge interest in theatre for a while, and I did perform in school plays and such. I took my roles (even the small ones) very seriously and I would like to say that I'm a pretty good actor/improvisor and I do apply a lot of the things I learned about performance to daily interactions. I don't know where I'm going with this rambling I just wanted to share I guess :)
I got diagnosed with ADHD a year ago but that was only after I had a complete breakdown, lol. I really don't know how much of my behavior is because of adhd/other reasons that people tell me I can't be autistic, but the more NT people i talk to the more obvious the disconnect becomes. Socially I think I do okay at knowing what to say and how to respond but it's more of like a "if someone says x, the correct response is y". Also I did have a lot more issues with understanding sarcasm/not everyone being literal when I was younger, but there was a particularly bad incident that happened as a result of me not understanding that when I was younger so I basically just stopped trusting people for a long time.
Also I had a huge interest in theatre for a while, and I did perform in school plays and such. I took my roles (even the small ones) very seriously and I would like to say that I'm a pretty good actor/improvisor and I do apply a lot of the things I learned about performance to daily interactions. I don't know where I'm going with this rambling I just wanted to share I guess :)
This clip wasn't even the craziest part of the show. When the meme got popular I got sucked into watching endless clips of it with the main character screaming at a bunch of people and in general just being a huge asshole to everyone they meet. Of course, because of the autism. The comments were always filled with people saying WOW this character is so PRECIOUS ! I feel so bad for them!
My corporation hosted a "neurodiversity at work" informational event a couple months ago that I decided to check out. It was a pretty surface level explanation, not surprising, but then explained ways to make the office environment more accepting to neurodiverse individuals. #1 was offer remote office / quiet workspaces (which my company does not really do). When hearing that, a lot of people spoke up that they had gotten letters from their physicians to do this, but their leadership teams were continually fighting them on implementing it. Hard to frame yourself as a neurodivergent-friendly place when you don't actually address said concerns.
When asked why they were attending, around 80% of the people said they thought their kids might be autistic so they wanted to learn more about it. I thought that was pretty interesting.
reddit said:
This basically
My corporation hosted a "neurodiversity at work" informational event a couple months ago that I decided to check out. It was a pretty surface level explanation, not surprising, but then explained ways to make the office environment more accepting to neurodiverse individuals. #1 was offer remote office / quiet workspaces (which my company does not really do). When hearing that, a lot of people spoke up that they had gotten letters from their physicians to do this, but their leadership teams were continually fighting them on implementing it. Hard to frame yourself as a neurodivergent-friendly place when you don't actually address said concerns.
When asked why they were attending, around 80% of the people said they thought their kids might be autistic so they wanted to learn more about it. I thought that was pretty interesting.
Found this in old paperwork from my autism diagnosis when i was about 3 years old and having quite the laugh
been hopeless from the start huh?
been hopeless from the start huh?
Hello again, Neurodiversity thread. Me and two of my college friends the other day had a conversation about ADHD the other day, specifically in regards to another one of our friends. I won't say anything about these people or their personal lives for obvious online safety concerns, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to get the opinions of some of you that actually have been diagnosed with ADHD. The most I feel comfortable with saying is that our other friend has been exhibiting some of the signs that typically preceed a standard ADHD screening (although at this point, what even is standard anymore?), specifically about his attention span and daily routines. From what I've gathered from their conversations, his so-called "special interests" and his hyper-fixations are almost too easy to get mixed up with outright obsessions, although I don't see much from him in person in terms of actual hyper-activity scenes. Anyone have any thoughts so far? There's always a possibility he has/is some other diagnos(es), but like with the rest of this question I want to collect other educated opinions if I can.
doesnt exist in my personal opinion
Certainly massively over-diagnosed. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger, a diagnosis that was long since overturned. Turns out not every kid who doesn't want to listen to some over-educated boomer waffle on for an excruciating hour and then get assigned a 50-part multiple choice assignment about something I could learn just as much about by reading the damn textbook for five minutes has an attention disorder, but tell that to your teachers. I'm not sure it's a uniquely American problem, but American schools are very hostile to kids who don't learn in the traditional lecturing/repetitionary way that they're expected to learn by.
I won't comment on whether or not ADHD exists at all as I'm not remotely qualified to talk about that, but I can speak from experience that a lot of kids who get diagnosed with it are probably misdiagnosed. There are plenty of rational reasons why your kid might have problems paying attention especially in an environment like school that don't require a mental health diagnosis and accompanying medication, and I would be skeptical if my kid recieved such a diagnosis and diligent in ruling out other causes. Maybe listen to your damn kids a little more, that alone would fix a lot of problems right there.
I won't comment on whether or not ADHD exists at all as I'm not remotely qualified to talk about that, but I can speak from experience that a lot of kids who get diagnosed with it are probably misdiagnosed. There are plenty of rational reasons why your kid might have problems paying attention especially in an environment like school that don't require a mental health diagnosis and accompanying medication, and I would be skeptical if my kid recieved such a diagnosis and diligent in ruling out other causes. Maybe listen to your damn kids a little more, that alone would fix a lot of problems right there.
I think that's a worldwide problem. I always struggled in school not because I performed badly with the material, but rather because I had issues with authoritarian teachers and learning methods I couldn't apply. I wasn't diagnosed with it but I've seen cases of kids like me who were misdiagnosed with it
That said, I do believe ADHD exists. I've met people with it who were having the whole symptoms catalog. And I doubt that the medical community as a whole just lies about a condition that's widespread
>laughs in Asperger's syndrome
isn't Asperger's just autism that was given a different name?
Yes. Fun fact, it was also coined by a Nazi. My point is more that psychology is a very poorly understood field with a lot of frankly bad science floating around in it, so an entire disorder being assimilated into a wider form of neurodivergence is not only possible but has precedence.
In my layman's opinion, the way we look at and label neurodivergence is itself problematic and often unproductive. There's nothing "wrong' with the majority of neurodivergent people and who exactly gets to determine what an "orderly" mental state is? There are mental states that are different than the general template we've built society around, and there are some that are harmful and should be treated, but our incessant need to fit everything neatly underneath labels does more harm than good. Two neurodivergent people with the same diagnosis can be so radically different that it essentially tells you nothing about them other than that their mental state doesn't seem to function the way society thinks it should, and yet they're often treated with one-size-fits-all treatment plans that might not actually help them. I've experienced this firsthand in multiple ways.
None of this is to say that neuroscience or psychology is illegitimate, but the fields have fundamental problems in the way they approach neurodivergence that I think need to be resolved in order for neurodivergent people to meaningfuly be fully incorporated into and accomodated for in society rather than being treated like a problem that needs to be solved or mitigated.
My stance on psychology (though as a whole, not necessarily studies focused on neurodivergent people specifically) is this: no science is perfect, and it's often accepted to aim for 95% statistical certainty (p-value <0.05 and all that). However, that means that if you happen to be rarer than 1 in 20, there's the possibility of being labeled an outlier and not actually counted in the general reported result. Psychology is also very difficult to meaningfully control conditions while still getting usable results.
I'm not sure whether this fits here, but I'm diagnosed with a bunch of stuff I'm not too comfortable directly talking about, and when I'm outside I often find myself masking as hard as possible and keeping my emotional state as low and negative as possible because when I'm in a high-energy state I'm always in danger of doing something "wrong". Does anybody else experience this? The constant vigilance gets tiring.
Also, is it just me? I find that in some public circles, even if they say they are accepting of neurodiversity, in practice I find that if people so much as have a hint you aren't "normal" it's total social death? I'm not trying to antagonize anyone here, I just want to express my frustration at what I experience.
Also, is it just me? I find that in some public circles, even if they say they are accepting of neurodiversity, in practice I find that if people so much as have a hint you aren't "normal" it's total social death? I'm not trying to antagonize anyone here, I just want to express my frustration at what I experience.
Yeah but it's less because of neurodivergence and rather with anger issues and childhood experiences
I had anger issues all my life and got into a lot of physical fights as a kid. I was basically always angry and I needed to restrain myself to not lose it in some way. I was also always very anti-authoritan in a conservative christian household, which, you know, doesn't really mix
So I had to always cover my true feelings and thoughts. I never really stopped doing so. It's very difficult for me to express anything really towards others when I had to hide and restrain myself all my life. I can't even say it's tiring, it just is. Like breathing