bdt2002
Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs superfan
Hey, I can totally relate to the difficulty of saying "No," especially when you've given someone your word and then you go back on it, because now it can seem like your integrity is compromised or that your word doesn't have much of a value.
So there's two things here that are in play:
A) how to not let this specific friend down; and
B) how to deal with this same situation (saying "No") in the future.
For now, just focus on A). I see that (1) you don't wish to get the new game, and (2) you'll feel that your friend would experience some loneliness because outside of you, he/she has no one else to play with. Ask yourself if there is a valid reason for you not wanting to get the game (e.g. is it no interest in pokemon, don't have the financial means to purchase it), and if it is valid, then you are not obligated to go through getting the new game. As far as overcoming your friend's loneliness is concerned, you're not limited to playing Pokemon (there are other games) or you can find other activities (like a video call, group watching a show) to help combat his/her loneliness.
For point B), I would suggest talking to a therapist because difficulty in saying "No" could be a multi-layered issue, like not wanting to disappoint others means that you want them to still like you despite delivering bad news; wanting to still be liked means that you wish to be a people-pleaser, and that is unrealistic as you can't please everyone. A therapist/mental health professional would be the most well-equipped person to help you with this.
Good luck and hope it all works out!
From my friend’s perspective, they’ve always wanted to be able to play Pokémon games (yes, this is Scarlet & Violet, just to cure your guys’ curiosity) with other people, as well as other games, because of some anxiety and depression stuff that turned my friend very antisocial. The problem here is that I have my reasons for not wanting to play, but my friend also has their reasons, and I’m tired of letting feelings of guilt make the decisions for me. Granted they’re usually never anything major, but still.This may help. Think about the situation from your friend's point of view. If you were that friend, would you want a friend to spend sixty bucks and a lot of time on an experience they don't actually want? I wouldn't want that, if I were your friend, and I don't think you would either.
I know this sort of process can be difficult for some not all nd people, myself included. Maybe you'll rationally agree with me but still feel that itch internally, and if so, I get it. I've been there. What can help me is finding something I really get or care about and tying the situation back to that. If you really care about being fair, for example, feeling pressured to buy A Certain Game is unfair–its good friends look out for each other, but it's not likely their responsibility to spend sixty bucks on something they don't like. As DBC said, maybe there are other activities you two can do together! Whatever works for you.
I would go into further detail on each of our reasons, but I don’t want any responses to turn biased, nor do I want to talk behind my friend’s back if possible.