[shinyskarmory]

After the whole 5 hours spent on a female Piplup, and trying to find loopholes in Global (spoiler: there aren't any), I finally got the nerve to start up Platinum and do real updates. This is the post where all updates will come in.

The challanges:
Professor Science's Piplup (obtained) (soloing the game like a boss until I get Global or Staravia)
Treadshot A1's Global (unobtained, but chosen) (loopholes found and will be abused)
TM13 Ice Beam's Staravia (unobtained)
Jimera0's Espeon (unobtained)
Obbmud99's Tangela (unobtained) (FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU)
Kyuremhunter's Riolu (unobtained)

As a possible incentive to perform, any pokemon who are complete bosses in this challange have the chance to be immortalized in my ASB team. No pressure.

Key Stats

---

-Trainer name: Skarmry (stupid letter restrictions)
-Rival name: Tread A1 (screw him)
-Rule 34 jokes about Dawn: 1
-Memebase references: 6
-Faint count: 0
-Play time: 2:57
-YouTube weather: sunny with a 5 percent chance of Rick Rolls
-badges: 0
-HM slaves caught: 0

Update rules

---

1. do not talk about /b/
2. do NOT talk about /b/
3. We are Smogon
4. Steven Snype never forgives
5. Treadshot A1 can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster
6. I am still able to deliver
7. There must be a rage comic face in every real update
8. There are no real rules other than that- enjoy your ban
9. Rick Rolls may be substituted for actual YouTube links at my discretion
10. No Bieber. Period
11. Rule 34 references will be limited to 1 per episode
12.
13. You cannot divide by 0
14. The pool is always closed.

Balls...

---

-hello
-welcome to the world of pokemon
-TOUCH MAH (POKe) BALLS!
-WTFBBQ
-oh...so when you hold the knife here and move it like so...
-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
^professor rowan, first encounter
-jokes aside
-watching stupid TV program
-go outside
-you should visit your [strike]rival[/strike] [strike]enemy[/strike] [strike]nemesis[/strike] friend, TreadA1
-that looks pathetic
-but it was the best I could do
-hi tread, you're always in such a hurry
-but you always forget something important
-LMFAO
-walk inside
-oh good, now you're storming around
-outside
-going to Sandgem to meet the Rowan guy
-"If we run through the grass really fast, the wild pokemon can't come out fast enough!"
-uhh...okay, you first
-STOP!
-it's that Rowan guy
-and his 14 year old assistant, Dawn o_O
-sure, I'll take a pokemon!
-chooses piplup
-male FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
-sure, I'll take a pokemon!
-chooses piplup
-male FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
-sure, I'll take a pokemon!
-chooses piplup
-male FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
-sure, I'll take a pokemon!
-chooses piplup
-male FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU
-many times later...
-chooses piplup
-female

-goes to lake Verity
-random hobo standing in grass
-hey, if we sneak up behind him and push him like so...
-FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
^random hobo guy- first encounter
-"I am Cyrus! How DARE you push me into a lake!"
^Cyrus-first encounter
-see ya!
-why do I get the feeling i'll see that guy again
-moving on
-Sandgem Town
-Rowan's lab
-oh wait somehow you beat me here TreadA1
-"Screw your pokedex I'm outta here!!!!!"
-...
-Oh hai, Skarm, I'm Dawn!
-Let me show you around town!

-here's the pokemart

-shopping time
-back to the lab
-ignore females
-acquire Pokedex
-next route
-"Go back and say goodbye to your mother!"
-no
-"But she'll miss you!"
-she was asleep when I left
-at 10 AM
-she won't miss me
-"Go back and say goodbye to your mother!"
-no
-"or I'll beat your ass before we even get to Jubilife!"

-fine
-goes back, leaves note
-here we go
-moving towards Jubilife
-**insert epic montage here**
-arrive in Jubilife
-"Skarm, you should visit the Trainer School!"
-no
-"Oh no, you have broken my cover!"
^random guy in a trenchcoat- first meeting
-w.....t......f..
**turns around**
-"My name is Inspector Clouseau Looker, and I work for the International Police!"
^Inspector Clouseau Looker- first meeting
-ok fine, I'll help you
-goes on
-trainer school
-give Tread A1 the map (what a dick)
-heal at Pokemon Center
-go to Oreburgh
-"Let's see how much more powerful you've become!"
-I'm sure you can all wait until the next episode

TEBOW TIME

---

-vs. Tread A1
-Shy vs. Starly
-overleveled
-what a joke
-Growl->Bubble
-Shy vs. Turtwig
-Growl
-Withdraw
-oh god this is going to suck
-16 turns later
-Turtwig at half health, +6 def, -6 atk
-what an epic fail
-**switches to bubble**
-16 turns later
-KO!
-go back & heal
-explore route
-fight trainers
-watch Broncos-Patriots
-I stomp those trainers like the Broncos got stomped in the first half
-through the cave
-"Young face....new Poketch...you must be new to traveling!"
^pedophile hiker-first encounter
-"Here, take this HM!
^pedophile hikercharity worker-first encounter
-roflstomp other trainers, being careful to stay below level 16
-"Let me show you where the gym is!"
^obligatory tour guide-first meeting
-wait a second...
-Tread A1 beat me to the gym
-I knocked out his pokemon outside Jubilife
-running fast makes you run into more wild pokemon
-HE DOESN'T HAVE TO GO HEAL AFTER WIPING

-go to mine to find gym leader
-"This is how I use Rock Smash!"
-"In order to use it, you have to beat the gym leader. That'd be me!"
^Roark-first encounter
^lol bad puns
-only in pokemon
-leave
-stay below 16
-stomp noob trainers in gym
-heal
-save
-Fight Roark
-Shy vs. Geodude
-Growl->Bubble OHKO
-Shy vs. Onix
-Growl->Bubble OHKO
-take damage from his Rock Throw
-Shy vs. Cranidos
-Growl
-Leer

-Bubble
-
-
-
-
-
-Headbutt!
-A critical hit!

Spring Allergies

---

-Shy survives with 1 HP!
-Bubble
-KO!
-that was close
-moving on
-go north
-can't climb the slope, but...
-I can catch Global!
-Meet Global, the Ponyta
-Return to Oreburgh
-first example of FFFFFFUUUUUUUU: putting Shy in box
-go solo with Global all the way to Jubilife
-hello, team galatic grunts
-easy stomp
-goes north
-PONYTA CAN'T LEARN ROCK SMASH FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU
-goes south
-catches Bidoof
-names it HM slave

-busts through rocks
-squish meaninglessly weak trainers with the might of my Ponyta
-reach Floaroma
-FFFFFUUUUUU spring allergies
-can't breathe....
-puts Bidoof in box, takes out Shy

-loophole abuse FTW
-u mad TreadshotA1?
-Valley Windworks
-You'll have to fight me to get in!
^dumbass guard-first encounter
-roflstomp
-Now I'll lock myself in, and only my friends at the Flower Meadow have a key!
^jackass guard-first encounter
-go to the meadow
-stomp two guards
-get honey
-get key
-return to the Windworks
-open doos
-Oh Shit! The guy got in even though i told him where the key was after I locked him out!
-lol
-fight worthless guards
-heal up
-If I win, you leave!
-If you win, Team Galactic leaves!
^Commander Mars-first encounter
-Ponyta vs. Zubat
-don't use Toxic you bi----
-she used Toxic
-"What are you doing with my Pokemon?"
-I'M KILLING IT WITH FIRE!!!!!
-Shy vs. Purugly (haven't got a chance to rename it yet)
-Growl stack to -6 attack
-heal
-spam bubble
-kill
-win
-yeah, fuck you Mars
-go do the robot or something, you damn spacie
-no...no, I didn't mean DO the ROBOT, I meant that dance CALLED THE RO.....sigh
-next episode, I abuse more loopholes and infinite healing on my way to Eterna City.

The Lost Woods

---

-welcome back
-my updates occur slightly more often then solar eclipses
-that being said, let's start
-start: Floaroma town
-spring allergies IRL and in this
-fds
-fds
-fds
-leave town
-north
-fight trainers
-oh yeah, i caught a buizel
-remember this for later, it's important
-grind my way up the route
-oh hey look, it's the evil forest
-before you click the link
-the weather on YouTube is partly cloudy with a 25% chance of rick rolls
-enter the woods
-ooh it's a girl in a nice green dress
>is a dryad
>is Latias using her light-bending move
>came from the 1600s
-none of the above
-"Hi, I'm Cheryl!:
^Cheryl-first encounter
-"I heard about these team galactic people. can you protect me from them while we go through the woods"
-not sure if serious
-or wants to find a secluded place in the woods and....
-jk that was messed up
-but it would make a great shipping picture on deviantart
-moving through these woods
-oh, she heals my pokemon after every battle?
-HEAL ABUSE
-grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind
-switch to confident
-grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind grind
-"I'm running out of healing items, can we please leave?"
>joke about her+a kitchen and why they should never have left each other
>pickup line
>get on with it
-none of the above
-alright i grinded a lot
-time to move on
-o fuck
-i ran around so much that i have no idea where the exit is

-fuck this
-finally find my way out
-grinded about 3 more levels then i intended to
-fight fisherman
-only has magikarp
LL
-reach Eterna City
-I have to follow Treadshot's restriction on Global...
-remember the Buizel?
-switch Buizel for HM slave Bidoof TROLOLOLOLOL
-"I'm going to let you go by, you look strong. You can keep your pokemon"-random Galactic grunt
-LOLZ
-go to Galactic HQ
-no cut

-treadA1
-i have to fight him don't i

-let me show you the pokemon statue!

-fight gym
-i win
-let me give you some more detail
-global vs. turtwig
-flame wheel OHKO
-global vs. Roselia
-flame wheel OHKO
-global vs. roserade
-razor leaf does pitiful damage
-flame wheel OHKO
-really wasn't worth it was it
-next episode: I abuse more loopholes and rock team galactic...again

Like a Boss

---

-how often do I update this?
-certainly not often enough
-sure i'll commit to once a week
-inb4failing to update
-just like Nuzlocke
-anyways
-I'M ON A PLANE AND
-IT'S GOING FAST AND
-or at least I was when I played this segment
-cut down trees
-enter Team Galactic Eterna HQ
-Looker's brilliant disguise
-"One of the stairways is a trap!"

-sign reads: "This is the path to guidance."
-sigh
-i really don't want to have to refer you to my rant on the Hexagon Brothers stupidity
-because you're just as bad
-climb the other stair set
-your pokemon are even weaker then the Hexagon Brothers
-at least they had Shadow Pokemon
-you just have the same fucking clefairys and glameows
-climb other stairs
-same pathetic pokemon
-that's it
-that's fucking it
-i am so tired of fighting the same weak, underleveled pokemon over and over again and stomping them with my overleveled pokemon
-i'm taking my complaints straight to the top
-barge through another floor of mindless grunts
-Hey Mars, you might want to get some better henchmen
-"Well, it's not really my fault if they suck. I'm the boss."
-If they suck that bad, then what can the average day be like in the life of the boss?
-well, the first thing I do is
-talk to Cyrus
-like a boss
-approve memos
-like a boss
-lead a mission
-like a boss
-remember birthdays
-like a boss
-direct grunts
-like a boss
-my own purugly
-like a boss
-steal pokemon
-like a boss
-hit on saturn
-like a boss
-get rejected
-like a boss
-kidnap children
-like a boss
-WILL YOU SHUT UP?!
-ffs that song is so old
-if you won't let me sing, we have to fight
-fine
-Zubat vs. Global
-lol wtf you have a level 18 zubat
-against a level 23 ponyta
-gg noob
-lvl 22 purugly vs. lvl 23 ponyta
-that's more like i----HOLY SHIT WTFBBQ CRIT OHKO
-damn now i have to throw out a TM
-go confident
-back and forth brawling
-oh no you knocked me into the low yellow
-torrent
-OHKOs her through her damn super potion

-save bike shop owner
-so i can has bike now right?
-yes
-sweet
-leaves town
-"Have you talked to the underground man yet?"

Ghostbusters

---

-gets underground kit
-never uses it
-insert generic scumbag steve image here
-flying down cycling road on my bike
-a wild trainer appeared
-a wild trainer appeared
-a wild trainer appeared
-and of course the bike won't stop
-fml

-they see me rolling
-they hating
-still rolling on my bike
-Dawn: Can I give you a gift?
>what kind of gift
-"Well, choose a hand!"
-I like where this is going
>right
>left
-right
-"Here's an Itemfinder!"
--_________________-
-not what I was looking for
-"But you can have this VS seeker too"
-WHAT THE F**K
-I FIGHT TOO MANY TRAINERS ALREADY
-GLOBAL AND CONFIDENT ARE ONESHOTTING EVERYTHING AS IT IS
-(sidenote-all the OHKOs Confident has been dishing out have pretty much made her restriction invalid)
-DO YOU REALLY THINK I NEED MORE GRINDING?
-BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I THINK YOU NEED
-calm down
-there may be better offerings down the line
-nope she's leaving never mind

-enter mt. coronet
-let's just ride straight through
-oh shit i forgot about this

-doesn't seem like a good guy to me
-hello cyrus you are a douche
-WHAT DID YOU SAY
-outta here
-hearthome city
-let's go rape fan------
-a wild buneary appeared
-can't you take care of your own damn pokemon
-much tuxedo wearing later
-welcome to the gym
-ITG: people stalk you with flashlights
-and none of them are hot girls
-wtf
-smash them all without taking damage
-meet fantina
-easy roflsto---WTF
-first pokemon: duskull
-with one attacking move
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-get dunked
-nooblord duskull
-second pokemon: mismagius
-holy fuck this thing is actually dangerous
-oh shit ponyta almost gets OHKOed
-switch to confident
-takes the shadow ball like a boss

-Mismagius used Magical Leaf!

-torrent activates
-OHKO in return
-bitch please
-final pokemon: haunter
-weaker then mismagius
-but does have hypnosis
-with 100% accuracy
-wakes up and OHKOes
-god i even dunk gym leaders
-next episode: I spend hours trying to catch a level 18 staravia with my level 30 pokemon