Advice Please Smogon- Girlfriends Parents Are Nuts.

[Imran]

Why the fuck would you try to get pregnant, she's fucking 17 for fucks sake. What is the point of trying to sort out any of the issues you have already raised, if you're not even making a consious effort to get even the most basic of things right.

Fucking grow up, wait the 5 months (the child services are right, there's nothing they can concievably do in the time, and it would only make things worse if they tried) and then when she's 18, you'll be free to build your lives together. I say build because I mean build, take things fucking slowly, how fucked up is trying to have a baby in this situation?

Unless, of course, you're trolling. In which case I got served!

 

[MegaBuddha]

Typing on my storm touchsxrren. Is a bitch ill post more wen my. Nets back up

II wish I were just trolling. And this may sound stupid. But I mean 152 days no contact is soo difficult. Her parents just laugh at her thinking now I'm going to leave her. Laugh. How fucking cruel.

If having a baby means she can shove it in their face that they can't stop us then I'm all for it. Today I went to see her at work and the manager was cool enough to let us talk close to an hour. We decided were going to do this.

If she isn't already she will be. Bought two packs of ovulation kits..

I know this is a long term commitment. But I'm far better off than most teens with kids. Well graduate before its even here.. The

 

[Polis4rule]

teenagers with kids never turn out right. I would strongly advise against that.

 

[Doctor Heartbreak]

haha no. stop trying to have a baby, right now. you have a responsibility to your child, you have to provide a stable financial situation for it to grow up in, you have to make sure it's going to be in a relaxed, stress-free environment, you have to know that both parents are ready to deal, twenty four hours a day for years and years

don't get me wrong, i certainly believe that you can fall in love for the rest of your life at eighteen. i did. but you need to be aware that no eighteen-year-old is ready to raise a child. no eighteen-year-old has that moral right, to make a decision that will affect the entire life of a human being.

you're about to ruin your life, but that's not important. you're going to ruin your child's life. you do not have that right.

 

[Da Letter El]

Q: Does becoming pregnant or having a child mean a minor is automatically emancipated?
A: No. While getting married generally constitutes emancipation, becoming pregnant and having a child does not. The difference is that a person who marries generally intends to substitute the parents’ support and responsibilitywith the spouse’s supportand responsibility. However, if a minor becomes pregnant and has a child but does not marry, her parents continue to be responsible for her and she may continue to rely on their support.Please note that the baby’s father also may have support obligations in such a situation.

Ok, if this doesn't prove that a kid won't solve your problem anyway, I don't know what will. This pretty much straight up proves that your girlfriend wouldn't legally be free of her parents' vice even if she did have a kid. So a kid won't solve anything. Not to mention the kid would pop out after she's 18 and is legally free or what-have-you. What surprises me is that she didn't alert Child Services earlier, but i suppose that wishing about the past wont do anything, will it? But I think the best thing you can do, given what you've done before, would probably just be waiting this out, as bad as that sounds. I mean, it would probably have her parents not be as rough to her, and avoids the problems that go along with having a kid so early.

Not to mention there are the much bigger problems that come with just raising a kid coming just out of high school. Really, don't do it...

 

[Force Majeure]

I'm surprised that nobody's mentioned this salient fact about babies: raising them sucks. Lifetime movies and the Mormon Church would like you to believe that raising a child is fun, and rewarding, but it is never the former and only rarely the latter. Children are expensive, and for the first year or so, a child will spend most of its time crying, defecating, or some combination of the two. As it ages, it will add talking to this list of talents which will most likely not serve to make it more interesting.

Give it a miss is my opinion. She can wait until she's 18 and then get out. Besides, if she turns 18 in five months, she won't have had the baby yet. She'll just be getting up at 2 AM to cook pot roasts to eat by herself and craving peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

Once you move in together, though, I'd suggest getting a pug.

 

[Lexite]

Just thought Id point out, she is still a minor and you are 18. I dont know what t laws over there are but cant you get into a lot of legal trouble for having sex with her?

 

[MetalGearSamus]

No. Don't have a baby. You're girlfriend is in a horrible situation and she's desperate to get out, she's probably not thinking straight. IT WILL NOT HELP AND YOU WILL REGRET IT. A baby is a LIFE-LONG commitment; this will only last another 5 months. And you also need to think of what your doing. You're bringing another human being into this world, and it will have all the feelings, needs, wants, and thoughts you have.

Also, if she's being denied food and has to work for her basic needs, then that will put a lot of stress on her and the baby will suffer. Maybe even miscarry.

Please, please don't do this.

 

[Phadunk]

This decision you've made is obviously proof that you guys are ready for this.

Good read. Very enjoyable.

 

[Imran]

I said fuck 6 times, you think I wasn't serious?

Hows about we approch this in a different way, selfish asshole. Would you want to be born to parents in that situation?

 

[MegaBuddha]

Its not like I'm in a broke family or anything like on that television show.

My family is very well off. And I'd have plenty of help. I'd still go to college. I have a part time job. And a car.

Plenty of people in worse conditions have children do fine. Its not that I don't see your point. But its all worth it. And it will all work out.

 

[Wyverii]

If this isn't some sick joke then you're definitely having a child for all the wrong reasons. Here I got the impression that you wished to appear as a reasonable and supporting boyfriend but this is just going to make everything worse.

As an extra thing to think about, stressed mothers have a higher risk of miscarriage. Especially in the early stages. I would not run that sort of risk.

 

[Pink]

Logann, it isn't worth it. A baby takes 9 months to come out. You have 5 months to wait. How is that worth it? Then, she'd be legally emancipated by her age before the baby came, which won't even emancipate her. And yes, you may be in a great family, which is great. But, you're not thinking responsibly as a parent. You have a LOT of responsibilities as a father. You can have people help you, but you are going to be the one waking up at 3 in the morning to change a diaper. Also, you're not thinking of the effect it will have on your girl friend. Will she have the opportunity to go to college, get an education? Even if she can, will she want to leave her baby in someone else's care while she goes off to get an education?

Really, I beg you to reconsider. There are other ways to be together, this is not one of them. It solves nothing the 5 months you will be seperated.

 

[BlueJello]

A baby won't help. You must discuss this with your girlfriend and tell her that it isn't worth it. It'll only make things worse.

 

[Raj]

Just thought Id point out, she is still a minor and you are 18. I dont know what t laws over there are but cant you get into a lot of legal trouble for having sex with her?

No, the laws are reasonable enough so that 17-18 years can have sex with eachother. I believe here in Florida the if you're 16 you can go up to someone who's 21, 17-22.

 

[RCrayons]

I see where you're coming from with the whole baby idea, but I'm afraid it won't work. Having a child at a young age almost never turns out well. I have a brother who is 22 months old. I'm 15. Yes, there is a difference between 15 and 18, but i know that with school and the rest of my life, I have very little free time to get my work done and I don't get to spend much time with him. You're missing the whole point. You have to look at the bigger picture. How would you like it if you were a parent and your son's girlfriend had a baby? How would you feel if you had to take care of your son's child, when it isnt even your responsibility? You're making the wrong decision. You're hurting your life, your girlfriends life, your child's life, and your family's life. Just wait out the 5 months. There is nothing you can do. I'm sorry. You also have to add in the fact that it will be YOUR child and its up to YOU to spend time with him/her. Wait until you don't have as many complications in your life. Right now it just isnt the right time.

 

[Garchomp of the Funk]

DO NOT HAVE A BABY. IT WILL NOT IMPROVE YOUR SITUATION IN ANY WAY.

sorry to shout, but having a baby is a horrible idea. Your girlfriend's parents will try to get you locked up for statutory rape. Being on the sex offender list is never an enjoyable experience.

in any event, actually having the baby is a terrible idea. Her parents won't find out that's she's pregnant until you two have survived at least a month of separation, and it they are as nasty as you say, they will probably "ground" her even more excessively. Do you really want her to be under de facto house arrest for five months--and then still have to deal with the baby when she's eighteen? If her parents are fundamentalist Christians, they won't let her get an abortion, but they might beat her so violently that the baby dies.

Are any of these situations better than your current one?

 

[Age of Kings]

If you see having a baby as a way to get out, you aren't ready to have one. Because of all the stress she's having, it won't be healthy for her physical state to get pregnant. There is a very high chance the baby will be stillborn which will only add to her turmoil. God knows what her parents will do to her as well. You're not the one who has to be pregnant with the baby so you will have no idea how physically taxing being pregnant is.

I also completely agree what everyone else is saying about the big picture, but even the short-term isn't worth it.

Don't even consider having one, please.

 

[Team Aether]

This entire thing is fucked up. If only you could stage an "accident" involving her parents....

Still. NO. BABY. FOR. YOU.

 

[gvmgvm40]

Again, for the umpteenth time, I'm posting to say DON'T HAVE A BABY.

 

[Objection]

Why do you see a baby as a weapon you can use against your girlfriend's parents? People like you make my blood boil.

I might have offered advice if I had any to give, but selfish, illogical, irrational folks like you don't deserve it. And if this was your girlfriend's idea, she's a selfish, illogical, irrational folk too.

 

[Pink]

Running away is illegal.

 

[A.P.]

Oh. Sorry.

But fucking listen, don't have a baby.

 

[Doctor Heartbreak]

if you think you're going to be able to go to college and hold down a part-time job with a baby, you have no idea what it's like to raise a child. babies are helpless. they cannot do anything, anything at all, without the help of their parents. you can't leave them alone for a second, not even when they're sleeping. you're taking on more of a commitment than you imagine, and it's going to last for a lot longer than you imagine. it's four years before you can start sending that kid to school, four years of constant attention, waking, sleeping, everything. either you load all of that off onto your girlfriend while you go to work and school (and this will break you two, no matter how solid you think you are), or you share the responsibility and both of you get to hang on to your sanity by your nails for the four years it takes before you get even a slight break. if you have a baby, you will not be able to go to college. you will not be able to work. your relationship with your girlfriend will change, radically.

at least discuss this with your parents, who have been supportive enough to earn your trust here.

 

[drcossack]

Its not like I'm in a broke family or anything like on that television show.

My family is very well off. And I'd have plenty of help. I'd still go to college. I have a part time job. And a car.

Plenty of people in worse conditions have children do fine. Its not that I don't see your point. But its all worth it. And it will all work out.

No offense, but as far as this "have a baby" thing goes, you're a fucking idiot. One of my friends in high school got his wife (girlfriend at the time) pregnant, towards the end of our senior year - I heard him telling one of my other friends (it wasn't hard, I was sitting next to them) when we were getting ready for graduation. I believe both of them were going to go to school in Ohio - that didn't happen. That was five years ago.

You will NOT be able to go to college if you do have a baby. More importantly, you're too young. A part-time job? You're joking, right? If you live at home with your g/f, ok, sure, you'll have some help. Your relationship will suffer though - given how much you seem to love this girl, do you REALLY want that? Both of you will need to work full-time, and you won't be able to see her as often. Beyond that, there's the baby. Both of you will be at work from early in the morning to xxx time of the afternoon/night. The baby won't get the love and attention it needs, the love from its parents.

As has been said already, a baby's a huge responsibility. The crying, the feeding, the shitting, the sleepless nights, etc. I'm 23 and I don't want a kid yet; I know I'm not emotionally ready for one, and more importantly, I'm not FINANCIALLY ready for one.

You're 18 and you're young. I do understand (in a way) where you're coming from. However, you're not ready for all that responsibility yet - do you think my friend was five years ago? I saw him two weeks ago and he was happy, but he wasn't back then - he was absolutely terrified about having a baby.