One objective thing you missed here is that if you precede a stat name with "a," you should follow the stat with "stat." So here, "a sky-high Defense stat." I prefer to just remove any misplaced as to save words, though; there's nothing wrong with "With sky-high Defense." Anyway, you recognized that this sentence is too wordy, which is good. If I were GPing here, I'd have just integrated the clause into the main sentence because writers loooove their commas as it is; I look to improve flow where reasonable.With a sky-high Defense, Cloyster is able to
utilize it intofunction ingas a Shell Smash sweeper on Ice teams.
Ice VS Ice can be considered a single matchup, no need for plural. Honestly, everything after the comma in this sentence is kinda redundant.It is also able to sweep opposing Ice teams, thus aiding in the mirror matchups.
You're not really saving words here, so this is what I'd call a purely subjective change. Try leaving comments to explain your thought process when doing things like this.Liquidation
allowsprevents Cloyster to not befrom being walled by Steel-types such as Bisharp, Bronzong, and Aegislash, as well as aiding in sweeping Rock teams.
Instead of a somewhat ambiguous acronym, I signify incorrect uses of setup by just adding the space and putting the phrase in blue, ie set up. Same goes for capitalization fixes, i.e. special. More noticeable and not ugly. I'd say "in order to set up in a pinch" is redundant here and can objectively be cut.Focus Sash allows Cloyster to set(AS)up
awith Shell Smash guaranteed and is crucial vsagainst Sspecial attackers such as Indeedee and Gardevoir in order to set up in a pinch.
Alolan Ninetales is a fantastic partner for Cloyster,(AC) as it is able to
set upuse (changed this in order to avoid repetition of "set up") Aurora Veil to allow Cloysterit to set up easiermore easily, as well as threatening Toxapex,(AC) which Cloyster struggles to break,(AC) with Freeze-Dry;(ASC) which Cloyster struggles to break,(RC)in addition,(AC) to being very threatening toit can threaten Swift Swim Water teams with Snow Warning.
Nothing wrong with "in" here. Ever heard "You Got a Friend in Me?" Same deal.Mamoswine, Piloswine, and Froslass provide entry hazard support
inwith Stealth Rock and Spikes
No idea what "guaranteeing [sth] for [sb]" means. You're an amchecker, if you need to be wordy to explain yourself, it's completely fine.Galarian Mr. Mime and Avalugg are good teammates that provide Rapid Spin support to ensure that (guaranteeing [sth] for [sb], hence why I added "that") Cloyster's Focus Sash remains intact.
If you try to make each sentence in an analysis unique, you're just gonna drive yourself crazy. Prioritize making sure the writing isn't wasting the reader's time. Sad truth is, most analysis writers just aren't at a level where salvaging repetitive writing is a productive use of time.Froslass has access to Taunt to deny entry hazard from the opposing team,
ensuringmaking sure that (once again, this is just personal, I'd try avoiding using the exact same sentence twice, I feel like changing the verb would at least prevent it from sounding odd) Cloyster's Focus Sash is intact.